Stripping My Way through College
Thursday, June 16, 2011 12:00 AM
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Some strip clubs that I know of lead their clientele to believe that they are full of bright, young college girls trying to make student loan and tuition payments. But obviously, this is just false. As a student at a 4-year private college, I am in the minority. I used to have a coworker who was in the same boat, but she left the club to focus on school.<br />
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This was surprising to me at first. It seems like the perfect arrangement: working at a strip club won't interfere with classes as it's primarily a nights and weekends sort of gig. Go to class all day, grind dick for cash all night. Also, as people who don't yet have degrees in any field, a job as a stripper is probably the highest paying opportunity presenting itself to us. Plus, we're (apparently) in high demand. 18-22 year old ladies who are supposedly "exploring" and "experimenting" all over each other? Hot.<br />
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Yes, there are obvious benefits, and I would encourage any female in my position to sign the fuck up for amateur night. But if you think it's "just for funsies," or if mommy and daddy can support you until graduation, then stay in and study this Thursday.<br />
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I've assembled a list of pros and cons of stripping your way through college based on my own experience. This isn't a cautionary tale, but if any too-hot-for-internet XXX female coeds are viewing this, I hope it will help with the decision-making process.<br />
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Pro: Tuition, room and board, loan payments? No problem. I dance in a rural, blue-collar club and still make plenty of money. I have the option of work study as a part of my financial aid package, but why bother?<br />
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Con: It's an investment. You need start-up capital for outfits, shoes, and makeup. Lipgloss prices are high nowadays, and a lot of your money goes back into keeping up appearances.<br />
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Pro: You're different once you become a stripper, and you have some great stories to tell the many open-minded students on campus, and if you take a women's studies class, everyone wants to hear what you have to say about 3rd-wave feminism's compatibility with "sex work." You can also get away with calling people classist for assuming that strip clubs are degrading.<br />
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Con: You're now the campus stripper. Even if you keep tight-lipped, everyone finds out eventually. Inevitably, someone you know will show up to the club and see you. In my case, a professor of mine showed up, but prior to that, my shitty friends told everyone about my new job. Whatever identity you had before is erased. Now, you are known as Stripper.<br />
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Pro: This job rarely interferes with classes. Unless you were planning on taking a class at night, there are few scheduling conflicts.<br />
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Con: Forget about social engagements, because your weekends are booked up. Also, you will be inevitably exhausted for morning classes. You wake up with a work hangover regardless of what day it is. You will have to drive to classes because pole tricks kick the shit out of your body.<br />
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Pro: You get to be in the campus burlesque show.<br />
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Con: You back out at the last minute because your manager needs you to work that night.<br />
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Pro: Customers occasionally take you shopping.<br />
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Con: Customers occasionally follow you home, and you have to make a very awkward call to campus safety at 5am.<br />
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Reader's Digest version: if you can manage your time, function on little to no sleep, and live as a hermit for four years, stripping through college is a great choice. If not, enjoy washing my dishes in the dining hall, suckas.</p>
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