A Common Tale of Stripper Shit and Objectification with Some Advice for Dancers

The following is an excerpt from a review I am about to leave. <br/><br/> "I eventually got the attention of a very attractive blonde dancing on a miniature stage off to the left of the main stage, toward the bathrooms and VIP area. Unlike the main stage, over on the side stage, I was able to leave the tip in her g-string, which was nice. A $5 tip ensured that she would come and see me afterward. We got several good dances back in one of the lap dance booths, and then we chatted about going up to the VIP area. She indicated that certain things that she could only guess went on there would not be happening with her that night, but she very politely offered to find me someone else who was my type who would be happy to accompany me up there. She made for a truly great conversationalist for a while, though, so I paid her for another couple of dances, and then met with her brunette friend. I would certainly go back to this blonde some other time. <br/><br/> The brunette and I negotiated a dance in the VIP room for $220, $20 of which was to pay the blonde for the referral, and I was fine with that. I had a few little problems with the brunette, however. She was nice, and she did a good job, but I became aware that I was much more safety-conscious than she was, and that made me a little uneasy, though I said nothing to her about it. For example, open mouthed kissing can spread oral herpes, even when there are no visible sores, so while I was not really firm in refusing her kisses, I wished she were not so keen on them. Besides, her kissing style was not really my type, anyway. I prefer less licking and swapping of saliva. She also told me her real name. I suppose it is a quirk of mine that I do not want to hear any dancer's real name. I prefer to only know their stage names. Learning their real names seems like it is crossing a sort of professional boundary, and that was also not the only way in which she was less concerned with safety than I was.[...] <br/><br/> The brunette did a good job earning her $200, so I offered to throw in an extra $20. However, after that, she asked for ANOTHER $20 to tip the manager, and I reluctantly paid that, too. Then, she asked me how much money I had left. Somewhat shocked, I refused to tell her, but she continued by asking what she could do to earn another $100 - $200. I was satisfied with my visit to the club already, so I told her that there was nothing else that I wanted that she could do to earn any more from me, that the $240 I had already paid would be it. <br/><br/> Then, when we left the VIP area, she introduced me to her friend, another dancer, and told me privately that her friend was in desperate need of money, that her car broke down, she needed rent, she was a single mother, or some other stuff like that. She kept pressuring me, finally saying that if I could just pay for one or two dances, that would be of great help. I did not really want anything from them, except for some appreciation and respect, to not be thought of as cheap, and I was not interested in spending any more money, but I decided that just one dance for only $20 would be okay if it would keep them reasonably happy, so I agreed to ONE DANCE. The friend asked me how much fun I wanted to have, and I said I only wanted ONE DANCE. Then, the friend said something to the brunette. It sounded like the friend was saying that I only wanted one dance, and then I overheard the brunette reply, sounding like she said that I was going to shell out more than that, she promised. The friend then turned back to me, telling me that she was just checking in on her friend. Then, we got back to the lap dance booth, and I paid close attention to the change of the song, letting her know I wanted to stop after only one dance, and she was noticeably disappointed. She apologized for doing anything that disappointed me, and I assured her that, no, she had not done anything wrong, that I was just interested in the one dance, as I said. She then thanked me for the $20, because it would help her kids, as she was a single mother. After that, I left.[...] <br/><br/> As with most clubs, my conclusion is that, now that I know more about the specific dancers, I would probably go back, but it takes some time and money to find out who is worthwhile." <br/><br/> If any dancers read this, please know that for me, and, I imagine, for many other patrons, adding so much pressure to squeeze all the money you can out of us right away is a turnoff. For people who are concerned with the dancers thinking well of them, it might get you an extra $20 - $40, but it is probably not good for your prospects of getting that patron again. To managers who might read this, I suggest you try to discourage such behavior with your dancers, as it not only reduces their chances of getting repeat customers, but also reduces your whole club's chances of getting that patron back. I will gladly be generous with any dancer who is not only attractive and skilled, but also professional, leaving personal sob stories out of the conversation, and not asking for anything more than what was negotiated. We all have personal problems and money troubles from time to time, but we do not come to work and plead with whomever signs our checks to give us extra pay out of pity or charity, we just go out there and earn it. Even if we lose a job, we do not try to get our next job by pleading and telling sob stories, even if they are true. Instead, we try to impress new potential employers that we are worth their investment. I may not have gotten all I wanted from the blonde, but I was very pleased with her attitude and with her apparent respect for me. Even if it was fake, it certainly felt genuine, and that is what counts at a club. I will certainly look for her the next time I am there. <br/><br/> I know that many dancers and patrons objectify each other to an extreme degree. The way the patrons objectify the dancers is obvious, but it can be made subtle. The dancers may know what patrons want when they come into the club, but if patrons greet them politely with a handshake, engage them in conversation and conduct themselves as gentlemen without pushing limits or applying pressure, I think it goes a long way to making the dancers feel better. On the other side, many dancers see patrons as ATMs. I recognize this when I enter the club, but it is a huge turnoff when a dancer makes it so obvious that I am nothing but a wad of cash to them. It is my opinion that a successful dancer is one who makes a patron WANT to give her more money, who makes a patron APPRECIATE her, not one who PRESSURES patrons into letting more money go. <br/><br/> I think of myself as being up-front, honest, polite, respectful, and professional with dancers. All I want is to be treated the same way. The only way I can think to encourage better behavior from dancers is to reward it, but I often find myself in a different place every time I go to a club, so I do not usually get the chance to build up a rapport with specific dancers or to use the knowledge I build up on my first visit regarding who is worth my time and money and who is not. Sometimes, I start off with someone good, and I let her go after while so that I can sample the other talent, only to find that I would have been happier sticking with the first one. <br/><br/> I have given my advice to the dancers with suggestions for better behavior, but now I would like some feedback. If anyone thinks I did something wrong during my visit or thinks that I came to the wrong conclusion about anything, let me know so that I may reconsider. After all, I do not claim to be an expert. I only started visiting clubs a couple of years ago. Also, if anyone has any more creative advice on how to help things to improve in general, I would like to hear that. Finally, if anyone has a unique perspective on the situation, that would also be nice to hear. For example, if someone else like me has a similar story to tell or if a dancer herself wishes to weigh in with her feelings on the whole issue, that would be most welcome. <br/><br/> I know this article was long, but hopefully it was not painfully so. Thank you very much for reading.