Woody's

I was in town for my semi annual South Florida fishing trip and was captivated by the sign outside that read something like "Burgers, Wings, Beer, and Adult Entertainment!". It looked like a hole in the wall but I decided to check it out. I went at about 6pm on a Friday evening (4/21/2023) and there was no one at the front desk. I went to the bar and asked the bartender about paying my cover and she said there was no cover before 7. I ordered some chicken tenders and sat at the bar. There were two locals sitting there enjoying a beer. The decor was what you'd expect from the Florida Keys: tropical. It was semi-dimmly lit. The stools were a bit worn down. One thing about most of Florida is you either get a full nude club, or a club with beer, but not both UNLESS you're in south Florida. This place had both. I did not order any alcohol but my food was about $10 (including drink). The food was hot but tasted like it was nothing more than a frozen bag of pre-made food bought from Wal-Mart or Sam's. There were only three girls working at the time that I arrived: one Haitian, one Hispanic, and one Caucasian. All three of them were average to below average in looks. I spoke with the Haitian for a while before her set. Everyone was nice. There was only one small stage in the middle of the dancing area. Looked to be about a 10x10 boxed off area with a pole. You can touch the dancers (as long as you're tipping) while on stage. The private dance area is just a few nice leather couches on a slightly raised platform in the main room. Your dance is on full display to the rest of the room but no one seemed to mind. The DJ played mostly rap, which was a surprise for the area. At around 7pm, five more girls walk in and they were a MAJOR upgrade from what was already there. A tall, slender, fit, Hispanic woman with an extremely nice ass walked in and I literally stood up out of my seat when she walked by. I immediately made a 40yd dash in 2sec to talk to her. Her English was sub-par but she knew enough to effectively communicate. She was extremely nice and bubbly and I asked for a dance right away. The mileage was higher than I expected it to be but nowhere near what one could experience in the Miami clubs further north. Some exchanges of touches in the nether-regions and that was it. Her body was absolutely stunning. Firm in all the right places and soft in the others. The dances were $25 each and I did two songs and tipped a tiny bit extra. The couches were WAY too soft. I sunk in it when I sat down and made the dance a little uncomfortable. I was in a trance the whole time because after it was done, I got up and noticed the place had gotten considerably more crowded. About 10 girls were there and about 15 customers. Mostly Hispanic dancers and they were all beautiful. I didn't stick around too much longer. All in all I spent around $100 on food, tips, and dances. I recommend this place if you don't keep your expectations TOO high. I would definitely go back!

Upon walking in place is very dated and could use a good cleaning. $10 cover, good parking, definitely going for a Tiki Bar feel but falling short... Drinks were about what you would expect, over priced! $8 for a beer is as bad as Miami. They do have some bar food but didn't look appetizing at all. The manager was there but looked to be more interested in the girls and female customers. Definitely a creep. Few bouncers but even they could seem to care less about what was going on. DJ looked like he hadn't reached puberty yet and was easily distracted by girls. Music felt like an urban club. Could really use some variety. Stage was small with a ledge. Girls had to walk up through the guests to get on and off stage. Very cozy. When girls are on ledge easy for lots of contact with customers. Lots of mileage at the stage. Girls were for the most part ok. Cuban majority it seemed. Couple of very aggressive ones, watch your wallets. Couple of stand outs, namely Miata! Different name for once, don't think I've heard that one before and damn she could move! Such a breath of fresh air. Probably early 20's. perfect little body, great enhanced headlights and a rear bumper that could stop traffic. So damn sexy on the stage and dances were arousing to say the least. Very close, lots of touching. bottom up close and personal, top anything goes and front shown but very little touch. Lots of body on body contact and a great combination of sexy and sweet. Wish I had millions for this one! Over all I would go back. Mainly because of the little sports car! And making fun of the "Help" with my guys was purtty damn entertaining too. Very unprofessional and just plain dopey!

Visiting the Keys and it was nearby. It comes across more as a locals dive bar with nude dancers than a strip club. $10 cover charge at the door. Lap dance area is small and not private. You are both right next to others getting lap dances and to the main stage. If you go to get a dance and all the seats are already occupied, there is overlow seating that is right in the main bar area, even less private. Dances are $25 a song. Girls more attractive than I was expecting. Mostly latina and white girls. Most looked to be in their 20's. Lots of implants if that is your thing. Not a lot of variety in looks or body type overall grind was fine, hands allowed to play with their breasts but not much else. A by the numbers lap dance without much enthusiasm or energy. Beer was $7 for a local bottled IPA. Overall a fine place to sit at the bar and have a beer if you're in the area while watching some pretty girls, but that's it. I wouldn't travel to visit or get dances

So I have been working in Marathon for the past month and a half and since I did not expect to go back soon I decided to visit Woody's, finally. Now, I understand that it had just somewhat opened and it's a small club but wow, the place was pretty dead. Most guys looked to be regulars there (Keys are not in season right now so I understand that) and there were a grand total of 3 dancers by the time I left. Ethnicity was mixed and that's cool, but not much in the way of variety otherwise, they were roughly the same body type. Small breasts, large booty (save the white white girl who had no booty). I know this is not necessarily that fair a review, it's a small place and this is not peak time but the girls went on stage, did a so-so dance each but none of them looked to be doing anything other than either a: socializing with the regulars or just messing around with their phone. I didn't make a huge attempt to chat them up or anything, but a hello from one would have been nice. (I did plan on getting a lapdance from one of the three just so it would not have been a total waste but I split as I still had a drive to make.) I know I may be spoiled with some of the North Miami places like Tootsies, Deans, Diamond Dolls and Cheetahs, but this place gave off slightly above dive bar vibes. That's not always bad but I was there for the girls, not the drinks, so I can't say I had too much fun. Will try again some day when the place is supposed to be kicking, at around 8pm ish (amusingly when happy hour is over).

Not really much new to comment on but it has been over a year and this place does not get many reviews so I will update a bit. I visited a couple times over a 6 month or so period of looking for homes and then another couple times over the last several weeks since buying. All my visits were from 8pm to midnight and 45 min to 2 hours. I am from Broward and have primarily visited several Pompano clubs, Scarletts and Deans Gold. In other words, spoiled big time. My expectations were not high but I was hopeful, otherwise a 90 minute drive North or 90 minutes South to Key West. As you might expect with the small population there are usually a handful of regulars and intermittent flocks of vacationers. It can be very quiet and can occaisionaly be pretty active with 20-25 customers. Early there might be only 2-3 dancers but by 9pm 6-10 in rotation. Usually 3 dances, outfit to topless to nude. Friction dances are topless and generaly pretty liberal contact-wise. No private and no in house extras as far as I have seen. To my pleasant suprise there are usually 2 maybe 3 very sexy women working, I'm talking slender and shapely. And if you like beefier then you'll be right at home. Dancers are uniformly friendly and appreciative of your tips. Beers 6-8. Mixed 7-10. Worth your visit if you are in the area.

Stopped in on a Thursday evening with a buddy and our wives. There were about 10 people in the club including staff. They all seemed surprised to see customers come in. That being said once they got over the initial reaction of "wow new people" it was almost as if we were invisible. I asked to change $100 for ones and it took three people about 10 minutes and a trip to the back to figure it out. After that we sat at the bar while the bartenders talked to each other and didn't really seem to want to engage us. We did manage to get a few rounds of drinks, nothing more than a what'll you have from the bartenders though. Never got approached by a single dancer. Dancers were mediocre at best so that may not have been a bad thing. We had a decent time amongst ourselves regardless. Stayed about 45 minutes.