My ATF has gained a little weight

avatar for motorhead
motorhead
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
I don't mind a little extra baggage, especially around the hips and butt. So, it's odd that my long time ATF was very slender and petite. But over the past few months, she has gone from slim, to curvy (the way I like it) to kind of chunky.

Do I:

-- drop her like hot potato
-- tell her to lose some weight
-- just accept her and don't say anything
-- suggest bariatric surgery if I pay for it

10 comments

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avatar for looker123
looker123
16 years ago
David, the worst thing you can do to a woman is tell her you think she is fat. I know with me an ATF (really ALL TIME) would be worth a little effort so I might be inclined to work with her to improve the situation. If you workout suggest she start meeting you or something like that. If not consider starting a routine with her. If she isnt worth that then I'd drop her.

avatar for ozymandias
ozymandias
16 years ago
I like slim girls, period. I'd just find a new girl - I assure you she's well aware of her weight gain, and when she sees you selecting the new slim chick she'll instantly know why. Up to her if she wants to work that off.

Bear in mind it's normal for dancers to gain some weight if they go on vacation or take a little time off, but once back dancing they lose it in a week or two' at least, that's been my observation.

O.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
16 years ago
Maybe you could offer to help pay for the abortion. lol.
avatar for jgb133
jgb133
16 years ago
It is amazing to watch the transformations that these girls go through over time. I have a favorite that has gained some and I'm not turned off yet, but let's hope it's a trend that is short lived. Nothing shuts the engine down faster than reaching behind a dancer and feeling blubber between your fingers. But, as looker123 stated, there is no delicate way of telling a girl this, let alone the typical insecure, self conscious dancer. I think it's better if you wean her and move on.
avatar for BobbyI
BobbyI
16 years ago
Lots of girls porking out due to the stress of the hard economic times.

Absolutely right to never tell a woman the truth when it comes to the weight thing.

Use a million different excuses other than that. Probably your best bet it to suggest something so outrageous she would never agree to it. If she is so freaky she is already willing to do anything, then make the price absurdly low. Then when she refuses she can think she is maintaining her dignity, but at least you don't have to tell her the truth. Plus that will keep her away for good.

If it's really hard to shake her tell you're in love and demand a normal "free" relationship. That's guaranteed to get rid of even the most desperate hard cases for good.

Good luck, man.
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
16 years ago
Just accept it and don't say anything. You've presumably spent enough time and money on her and the worst thing you can tell any woman is she's fat. Who knows, she might do more. Within my experience, one of my old faves, the fatter she got, the more extras she would do. Not sure if that's why, but it was clear getting fatter made her more of a nympho than previously.
avatar for how
how
16 years ago
She's got a bun in the oven, David. I knew I should've gloved up...

j/k of course.

Now, as for your options...

Do I:
-- drop her like hot potato [Only if you don't feel any real connection to her]
-- tell her to lose some weight [Absolutely not; you don't have the right, and that would be rude]
-- just accept her and don't say anything [Best option, assuming you care about her]
-- suggest bariatric surgery if I pay for it [Non-starter]
avatar for arbeeguy
arbeeguy
16 years ago
In this case I think: Oz had by far the best advice: stop buying dances from her. Be polite. Buy dances from the slim girl sitting beside her. When she complains, be nice. Do not refer to her weight gain. I guarantee she is fully aware of it, I suspect she is not happy with it but doesn't "really know" what to do about it. If you continue to treat her with respect but just don't give her any money, she will get a very strong hint as to cause-effect. Who knows. Your relationship with this potential porker may change in a positive way -- less sexuality, more true understanding. I know several obese and fat women who I get along fine with, but like most of the others on this board I sure don't want them half naked sitting on my lap.
avatar for zorro
zorro
16 years ago
Simple! If you still find her attractive and sexy, do nothing. If you don't, find a new ATF.
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
16 years ago
She got lazy, quit going to the gym and let herself go. If you can't accept it, let her go. Her job is to look good and not get pregnant.
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