Need some tips with this stripper....Help (Want to be friends)

O btw, the reason i want to be friends with her is because she has the personality that i look for in my friends.

Brand new PLs are cute like puppies and kittens.

Wait and see how she acts when you are not spending the money on her that you did. You may find that she has a totally different attitude. If I was you I wouldn't cut her off completely but rather way down. Then make your decision. It can't hurt to ask but don't be surprised if she reacts differently.

deogol

you're right. If you get to them before they get spoiled they can be allot of fun. Unfortunately that puppy period doesn't last too long.

That's kind of a tough question. First of all, be mindful of the fact that almost 100 percent of dancers have some kind of significant other -- husband, boyfriend, girlfriend. So, for the most part, they are going to be extremely cautious of a new guy wanting to "just be friends". The ones that are not cautious - well, are they the ones you want to hang out with anyway?

I am not saying it can't happen....I became friends with a dancer OTC, but it took a lot of time before some real trust was developed. Her boyfriend had to get over his jealousy and stop viewing me as a rival. So, if you really want to be friends, keep trying. Afterall, as much as dancers can be screwed up, they are, afterall, real people who sometimes do have real friendships. But strippers can be master manipulators, so be very careful my friend.

So what do you guys suggest i do next time i go with my buddies.

You want to be a stripper's best friend? Be able to reliably hook her up with something - weed, good concert tickets, whatever. Note the keyword here is "reliably" - she can get this stuff for free already, but the providers are always pressuring her for pussy. She DREAMS of a nice fixer who just likes her for her. Sometimes, just providing her with transportation (most strippers either have no car, a car that doesn't run, or a perfectly fine car but a suspended license) on demand will garner her attention and time.

...

That said - strip clubs are for older guys with money. If you're 19, just go to a frat party at your college and select whichever drunk, hard-bodied slut attracts your attention. It's free... it's what the rest of us did. When you're a 40+ year old executive with zero spare time to waste, THAT'S when you go for the sure-thing girls.

O.

^^yea, been doing that. Just when i go back home on my breaks, ill hit up a club for fun. But ill give this girl a try, if it doesnt work out ill forget about it.

Once you pay a girl money for her quasi-sexual attention, it's hard for her to get beyond that relationship.

I guarentee you are completely SOL. You spent way too much money on her to be in the "liking her for her" or cool category. She just sees you as money now, and will be pissed off you've decided to cut her off. She will not "get" why at all. Guarenteed. You should have never spent a dime on her in the first place. Maybe one or two dances if you've got supreme game. But the fact that you even need to ask this question, on this board of all place, shows that you don't get it, so won't be gettin' no free lovin'.

On the bright side you are young, and it's good that you did ask. You have plenty of time to recovery from your error.

Two things are true in the U.S.A.: (1) the defendant is presumed innocent of the charged crime until prove guilty beyond a reasonable doubt; (2)a lap dance customer is nothing but a source of cash and cannot be a "friend."

Aight, so im fucked then basically. Should i even try.

Depends if you plan to hang around the club much.

If not, sure, go for it. Your chance of success is almost nil, but it could happen (like you could get hit by lightning or win the lottery), and, more importantly, there is nothing to lose.

If you do plan to hang around there often, you risk her gossiping about you to her coworkers and tipping them off. So I would just drop it in that case, and, in the future not spending money on the ones you want to be friends with (and/or fuck, without paying).

Bobbyl,

Why are you telling this guy there is nothing to lose? He is going to waste a fuck load of money on someone for something that is very unlikely to happen... and even if he thinks it is happening it is probably a scam or she is a flat out taker.

He could be putting that money, time, and energy into something that makes him more attractive to a girl with her shit together.

deogol,

Bobbyl's exact problem is he is a bottom feeding troll with nothing of substance to offer. I don't even acknowledge him anymore.

What prodigy1290 needs is to understand his motivation. Why this particular girl? Is there someone in your everyday life with similar attributes who is more attainable?

deogol: "Why are you telling this guy there is nothing to lose? He is going to waste a fuck load of money on someone for something that is very unlikely to happen.."

Huh? Who said he is supposed to waste a fuck load of money at this point? His stated plan was not to spend a dime on her now (a little too late). So what is there to lose? Cover charge? Cost of a drink or two? I agree if that is a "fuck load" for him, then forget about even that.

Oh, and forgot the part "maybe a little bit if she needs to meet her quota". If you give her "a little bit to meet her quota" then you have a big "S" written on your forehead.

we hate guys and rarely become friends with anyone in the club or date because of guys like bobby thats the truth!

Hey real dancer - YOU are there for the money. YOU are getting the money. YOU do whatever is necessary to do to get the money, or go work at a different club or get out of stripping and do something else that is more to your liking. But YOU did provide a nice note of realism -- it is the truth -- to quote YOU "we hate guys and rarely become friends with anyone in the club". Prodigy1290 are you paying attention? It is coming from "A Real Dancer"

Bad news, arealdancer. I have dated strippers. (Well, actually ex strippers after they stopped working.)

Last Friday, October 10, 2008, a dancer insisted on getting my cell number. We exchanged numbers. She called me while I was out of town on Monday, October 13 and, again, on Wednesday, October 15, 2008. I missed the Monday call and on Wednesday, I was walking into a heavy meeting with lots of money on the table. I told her that. I called her back on Thursday, October 16 and was greeted with a cold, aloof and frosty brush-off. Rude and cold doesnt' excite me, especially after I wasted time explaining my inability to return her calls right away. Strippers love to make guys squirm, beg, feel guilty and whine. Don't do it. Walk away. Don't buy this "friend" game. It's just a twist on the money hustle.

I've exchanged number with six strippers in the past six months. Three are unreliable. One cussed me out because I didn't return her call soon enough. One started calling me "luv" immediately and tells me that she "misses" me; she wants $200 to do IT. Only one is reasonable; she does IT for $100 OTC, but won't do anything else. I don't mistake any of these relations for something other than commercial.

Dude, you are looking for love in the wrong places. When you get to be 66, like me, you will know that you have to pay for sex with pretty young strippers. I never paid for it when I was 19. I just spent 3 days at my favorite club. I had very high mileage dances from about 20 dancers in those 3 days and at the lowest price possible. I am not looking for an S/O and they know it and trust me. I know who is married, just divorced or has a boy friend. Now I consider these dancers to been friends because they share their personal lives with me. The love is free but the sex costs $$$. It's a fair deal. You scratch my back and I will scratch yours. I met up with 6 TUSCLERS during the 3 days. 2 have already published reviews. In Pop's review he mentions that he did not see me get a lap dance while he was there and didn't understand why. He knows damn well why. I was still recuperating. I hooked up with A----- the night before and got FS ITC for $120. The next day she came knocking on my hotel room door at 1045AM. "are we still on for lunch"? She and her boy friend were staying in in room 310. I was in 314. "of course" I said. Same scenario as last month. Lunch at the same Mexican restaurant and then back to my hotel room for an afternoon delight. It was unprotected sex 3 times. She said "I trust you. I don't want to take any thing back to my boy friend. Today I met one of her girl friends at the club. I have known her for a long time and mentioned that I had, had lunch with A----- yesterday. She asked me if we were fucking. I sheepishly replied "Yes" She would have found out any way. Do you suppose that my admition had any thing to do with the $40 BBBJ that she gave me?

The point being that you can have fun with strippers. You can fuck them and take them out to lunch. But you must keep it in the proper perspective. You would be a dumb ass to ever think of marrying one. When I am in the club, My girls are the greatest. When I leave, I look fore ward to meeting them again next month. But that is ALL.

"I trust you. I don't want to take any thing back to my boy friend"

Trust is a bit of a factor, but it goes beyond that. Most people with STDs do not know they have them, as they are asymptomatic. In fact most STDs are asymptomatic precisely when they are most transmissible. Also some STDs like Herpes are not tested for by default, so someone can test "clean" but still have HSV. Also note that there is no FDA approved test for HPV in men. So the trust statement is kinda dumb, but hey, what do you expect from a stripper? Anyone who is doing unprotected sex commercially (customer or whore) is gambling irregardless of the imagined level of trust.

Also note that doing it with older people is more risky than with younger ones: more time to have acquired HSV (unlikely to have been tesetd for) and HPV (not tested for in men, excluding rare research settings). In fact if you look at the stats the prevelance of these two (HSV and HPV) increases with age. Just more evidence of the foolishness of her statement.

"In fact most STDs are asymptomatic precisely when they are most transmissible."

My immediate reaction was wow, what a brain dead statement. Not saying it isn't true, but my knee jerk reaction was that's completely brain dead.

Any word-o-philes or others know the word for a proposition that at first look appears to be moronic when in fact it is correct or could be correct?

Anyway, that statement about STDs sounds like something President Bush or Gov. Palin would say.

jablake: Actually, I'm going to have to correct myself on that one.

I was thinking of HIV when I wrote it, and shouldn't have said "most". With HIV the viral loads shoots up very rapidly before the body mounts its immunological response. At that point the infected person is highly infectious to others, and, indeed, it's estimated that 50% of all HIV cases are transmitted during this time (less than one month after acquisition).

The immunological response kills most of the virus, and, in most people causes "flu like" symptoms. But it won't get all of the virus, since the virus is crafty and is good at hiding. However the response does make the patient less infectious, at least for another 9 years or so.

But you are right, the statement with "most" is probably wrong. HSV is a good counter-example: it's most infectious in the presence of outbreaks, and has low transmissiblity otherwise.

This is a great topic that should be reading 101. First let me just say for the record that I dated a stripper when I was in my mid 20's and she was 18. Mind you we met at a college dorm party where she was visiting a girl friend. I learned a couple of things from that 9 months of heaven and heck.

1 - Strippers refer to guys on the tip rail as sitting in loser row and will not date as true boyfriend / girlfriend. More you are her walking ATM.

2 - If you or any of your friends got a dance from her or any of her fellow friends. Then the deal is off.

3 - Strippers change attitude and direction on spur of a minute with lots of energy and speed.

4 - Don't ever think of visiting the club while she is working.

5 - Don't ever go into the club at all. Strippers view customers as low life scum.

6 - Some times when a stripper gives out her phone number it is beause she likes you and wants to recruite of OTC activities.

7 - Enjoy it for what it is.

8 - Use protection and wash up after activities.

Hope this helps a little cause, you are heading down a road tthat is very fun, exciting, and dangerous.


*** Dont't talk about her age, her kids, age and especially her weight.

You are so luck, just have fun and prepare for what ever comes our way.

Robtpafl: I disagree with you on topics to avoid. It is because I do talk to my favorites about these things that we can get more intimate physically. Their hearts melt when I show them pictures of me with my 6 mo old grand daughter. 2 days ago I was talking to a favorite that has put on a few lbs. She brought it up. Since she had an abortion 3 months ago, she has not been able to stop eating. She was going to take her mother to the fair after work. Yesterday I was talking to another favorite. She told me that the night before, she had did the final split with her boy friend of 4 years. They have a 2 yo old daughter. He was mentally and physically abusive to her. I told her to be more careful with the next guy she hooked up with. I left, a happy camper.

Bobby: I appreciate your warnings about STD's. I am just too old to give a shit. 2 things in life are certain. Death and taxes. 3 1/2 year ago in a routine chest Xray they discovered a nodule on my right lung. The size of a pea. I have been getting chest Xrays every 6 months since then. Any change in size or appearance and they would have cut me open immediately. This months Xray was inconclusive. I had a CTscan last Friday. Monday the Doc called me at work to tell me that I was in perfect health. See you in 6 months.

My point being. At my age, I see friends and family dropping dead all around me. A lot of them much younger than me. And not from STD's. I am not reckless. I do not have unprotected sex with just any one. I am selective. I will continue with my life style until the end.

I have found that women, including strippers, who have children to care for are generally more careful than others.

shadow: I completely agree with you on that one.

If I were your age I won't worry about it either. Heck, I didn't worry about much back when I was into that sort of thing. I think there is alot of hysteria and lack of education regarding the subject.

I just found the stripper's statement and her willingness to partake kind of odd.

ok I had to post on this cause
1- I am a stripper
2- I am dating a guy I met in a club, who spent money on me and now only does so in the usual boyfriend way
3- It is possible for a stripper to be friends with a person they meet in a club
4- Most strippers just want someone they can hang out with that doesn't treat them like a stripper.

missfrankie: How much money did boyfriend spend on you in the club? How long was it (# of visits) before you started dating?

he spent an hour upstairs with me ....500 dollars
we exchanged numbers and texted a lot and when he came back we both agreed it was silly to see each other in the club cause we obviously liked each other and went on a date the next night

Misfrankie, when you say you 'spent an hour upstairs' do you mean, Bow-Chica-Wow-Wow? That's really cute that you both agreed it is silly to see each other in the club.

Do you offer extras and if so, do they affect your relationship with men?