Imma share my rickish New Year’s resolutions - my ricksolutions if you will. And you should view ‘em as rick solutions to your lives.
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Drink more Jack. Hell…this rick put some Jack in his bubbly for the New Year’s toast. You know what would make prosecco and Jack better? Leaving out the frickin’ prosecco!
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Have more naked fun with sexy female hairless ape. This rick is a lion on the veldt and a frickin’ animal in the club. ROAR!!!
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Post more helpful rickvice on TUSCL. Y’all need rick solutions to your life problems. Alas, certain dinguses — cough…Fredo…cough — are ignoring this rick and therefore being a failure at life. But the rest of y’all can still get your dose of rickishness. Maybe I’ll even compile the best rickvice as an article.
Now, I can’t guarantee that I’ll actually do any of this shit. I’m a rick so I can’t even guarantee that I won’t forget all of this shit in a drunken fog. Hell…I may even be in a drunken fog right now. Where was I? Oh yeah…ROAR!!!
Hard times will befall Fredo, as they have for Jim Bean, for failing to find favor among rickdom.