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Why do some SW struggle to have Long Term Relationships?

Avatar for Kratistos
Kratistos

Hey guys,

First of I am asking from a non-judgemental place. I am asking more in because I lack of this knowledge. Maybe for some of you the answer is obvious but for me I can't figure it out exactly.

Also SW is a large field there are many women involve in it(content creators, sugar dating, stripping...etc). Its not all porn.

However, one pattern I see repeated is that either SW or their rivals(people who aren't their fans) will always bring up this topic. Its similar to how when people want to make fun of nerds they'll say, "They can't get laid."

They'll say, women in SW, "Can't have relationships."

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Kratistos

*they have a hard time forming relationships

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gammanu95

Why don't you ask a SW?

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59

Because their partners can't handle their job.

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skibum609

The difference between love and in-love is passion, closeness, tenderness, and physical affection. It's tough to have that when one party is selling it to other people.

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Icey

They have a hard time trusting men after constantly seeing married tricks at work. Men constantly soliciting them etc. tricks ruin their impressions of men.
The key is to accept them and not try to change them. Ladys choice gentlemans game

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skibum609

^You are so fucking pompous and ignorant. You're the ultimate trick; little girl.

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JamesSD

Generally a lot of the factors that contribute to choosing sex work make long term relationships difficult, even after leaving sex work. I've joked if they fired every stripper with a substance problem half of them would be gone. Many also came from chaotic home lives where their models for relationships were not healthy ones. Anyone who has dated a non SW who grew up in chaos knows there often are additional relationship challenges. Finally, like a lot of women they are chasing the same top 10 percent of guys and those hot rich tall men have options and won't choose a SW for anything but FWB.

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Avatar for SirLapdanceanot
SirLapdanceanot

@Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram what about those drugs enabling and controlling and obsessivve "pumps". I would think a junkie stripper whore would have serious issues with trusting men after someone like that, no?

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IWantHerOnMe

In my experience many sex workers are vain, materialistic, selfish to the bone, socially inept, lazy, manipulative and prone to rash decisions and substance use. Not to mention the obvious promiscuity.

And you tend to attract what you put out. So many aren't really capable of making a real dating scenario work and the guys around them really aren't either.

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rickymacrodong

Often times their partners are or become more controlling and jealous. Maybe they thought they could handle it initially, but over time get more attached to the girl and then more jealous and controlling.
In some cases the girl herself might be abusive so her partners keep leaving her.

The other thing is society is still judgemental and frowns upon guys dating single mothers or sex workers.

Theres a very limited % of men willing to date former sex workers and an even smaller % willing to date sex workers who will continue being sex workers. And all those guys, by default, are flawed.

Very few sex workers are doing the job out of sheer passion and desire to help men. The job is done because its the best money they can get. That automatically means any guy theyre dating, cant or wont provide them the money they want.

Their boyfriends are almost always not working at all, just smoking and video games or babysitting.
Its by default a flawed relationship since the guy is someone who wants to be a dog. The dancer just has to take care of him, feed him and give him a place to stay and the dog will give her love and loyalty.

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Icey

Youre all listing things that are nonspecific to strippers.
The tricks are ultimately what shapes their negative views of men. Being with tricks makes them use substances to be able bto deal with it.

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rickymacrodong

According to you they dont date their tricks at all, so you fail to answer the question entirely. The question is asking why they struggle in their real life long term relationships, not why they struggle with tricks.

Your making it sound like these girls are breaking up with their boyfriends because they are acting like tricks. On the contrary, their boyfriends are a totally different type of guy that isnt allowed to get lapdances or see other women. Tricks usually have decent incomes whereas the stripper boyfriends are reliant on her income. Their boyfriends are guys who couldnt be tricks even if they tried, because they wouldn’t have the money to be a trick.

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rickymacrodong

Its obviously the psychological and other flaws and doglike behavior of their boyfriends that makes it hard for the relationship to last. Rmeember those guys are essentially dogs just looking for someone to take care of them and feed them in exchange for loyalty and love

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Icey

Most people grow out of concrete thinking in early childhood unless theyre retarded

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rickymacrodong

The question is asking about sex workers long term relationships, but you bring up tricks which has nothing to do with the question. Its not asking about trick hoe relationships .

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rickymacrodong

Sex workers arent breaking up with their boyfriends because they hate men in general because of their experience with tricks. Their boyfriend is dependent on their income, and loyal only to them, so its a completely different relationship than what they have with their tricks

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Icey

Reddit trick forum readers be like

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Rightfield

I just deleted a long winded explanation of what happened to the porn actress who went by the name Shauna Grant decades ago. The summary is that many sexy young women have some human flaws, and don't have life handled like they think they do.

 Actually, most people in their 20s probably don't have life, including relationships, figured out very completely.   But if that person is a sexy woman, she is pulled in directions most of us aren't.  Maybe she thinks her greatest assets are her tits and ass.  And that doesn't bode well for anything but shallow relationships.
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rickymacrodong

Icey with regards to concrete thinking, its you who creates and claims these rules like if a guy pays for a sexual encounter, hes ugly, autistic, has no hobbies whereas if the guy tips 5000, as long as he doesn’t pay for the particular encounter it means he has wide varied interests and is attractive. Im curious especially on how you apply these rules to nba players or celebrities who are also tricks. Its one thing referring to anonymous online people as ugly autistic and lacking hobbies but much harder to make the same claim about say brad pitt george clooney etc.
maybe you use the term trick in a racial way, i recall you claiming bilzerian is a loser and a simp.

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Avatar for Icey
Icey

Go make ahit up about someone else.

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Icey

You make whit up and think its clever trolling when its just retarded word salads

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Avatar for SirLapdanceanot
SirLapdanceanot

LMFAO Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram face it, you can't blame your coke junkie stripper whore's infidelity on anything but yourself. You couldn't even compete with a broke AF weed dealer. Also you're the one that was controlling and providing her with the coke. You should take some if not all of the responsibility because you were her enabler.

But sure. Deflect the blame. Easier than facing the fact that a broke weed dealer loser was still a better option than you.

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SirLapdanceanot

"Icey with regards to concrete thinking, its you who creates and claims these rules"

^^^@ricky that's the thing about Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram. Besides that she's a control freak, the rules are her defense mechanism from her own guilt. Like right now in this thread she's trying to find a reason other than herself for why she couldn't keep up her own relationship with a junkie stripper whore. When she was her source and controller of the coke. A total enabler.

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rattdog

combination of lack of self-respect and real questionable choices regarding choosing who her main man is.

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motorhead

I still keep in touch with some old ATF’s in a previous life (15+ years ago). They are the nicest women in the world but lying is part of their DNA.

I hate to generalize and say all sex workers are inherently dishonest - but I think many are.

Dishonesty is not a characteristic of solid, long term relationships

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twentyfive

If you’ve never seen what a long term relationship between two people that care about each other, you have no frame of reference or model to compare with.

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rickymacrodong

@SLD i noticed that anytime a discussion gets too complex things get jumbled and confusing for icey and he starts yelling out word salad word salad 😂

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Icey

Theyre not dishonest. They sell customers a fantasy. The way tricks have such a negative impact on them. It means a lot when they meet a man they can be vulnerable with.

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rickymacrodong

Icey he never referred to their lapdance interactions with customers as having any relevance to the dishonesty. You’re basically thinking about irrelevant scenarios then responding to them

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SirLapdanceanot

@ricky yes that is one of her concrete thinking rules - play the 'autistic word salad' card when she cannot argue with something that logically contradicts her delusional world view. She has to set her mind about certain things as defense mechanisms.

Look at her now obsessed with blaming tricks for all the reasons he couldn't keep his coke junkie stripper whore that she enabled. 🤣🤭🤡🐶

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SirLapdanceanot

"You’re basically thinking about irrelevant scenarios then responding to them"

^^^ @ricky this is another classic Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram tactic. Aka the 'strawman argument'.

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Avatar for SirLapdanceanot
SirLapdanceanot

LMFAO @Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram keep trying to blame tricks for why your coke junkie stripper whore left you.

Spoiler alert: it was all your own fault. You first enabled her with coke, got her addicted, and then tried to use it to control her.

Either that or the broke weed dealer just had a better dick than you.

Either way, none of this has to do with tricks. LMFAO you just keep doubling down on the blame. Man up and change your loser ways. 🤣🤭🤡🐶

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Icey

Autistic incel trolls be like....

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SirLapdanceanot

^^^that is one of her concrete thinking rules - play the 'autistic word salad' card when she cannot argue with something that logically contradicts her delusional world view. She has to set her mind about certain things as defense mechanisms.

Look at her now obsessed with blaming tricks for all the reasons he couldn't keep his coke junkie stripper whore that she enabled. 🤣🤭🤡🐶

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rickymacrodong

Tricks had absolutely nothing to do with anything, its hilarious how he says its somehow the tricks fault when she went for a drug dealer guy. Thats why hes on a multi year campaign constantly insulting anyone who pays for p4p even briefly.

The more you post icey the more you make it clear you mentally consider yourself a doggy, anything that becomes too complex makes you start yelling word salad, and you just want a girl to feed you, cuddle you, take care of you, it doesnt matter who she fucks or what she does in life as long as she keeps you fed and sheltered 🐶

Even with the long term girlfriend your issue wasnt that she fucked someone else it was that she left you and stopped caring for you, feeding you 🐶

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rickymacrodong

Icey has to constantly attack and go after tricks or people who see extras dancers, to try to process being kicked out. Poor doggy still hasnt dealt with the trauma of his owner refusing to feed or take care of him

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rickymacrodong

Like a doggy you like to go fetch some drugs or treats, anything you can do to keep your owner satisfied, i wonder if you also got into doggy position and let her use a strapon on you 😂

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SirLapdanceanot

Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram also lacks complex reading and comprehension skills. That's why nearly all her posts are all 1-2 sentence quips. Also full of spelling and grammatical errors. So then when it comes to reading anything more than 1-2 sentence quips, she has problems, shuts down, and resorts to calling it word salad. It's because, to her, it is! She literally has problems comprehending it.

Oh and she's often posting drunk and high - further exacerbating her smooth brain.

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Icey

😲😳 autistic troll boy is having a meltdown

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SirLapdanceanot

"Poor doggy still hasnt dealt with the trauma of his owner refusing to feed or take care of him"

^^^@ricky her constant trolling of tricks is how she's dealing with it. She's incapable, rather guilty or ashamed, of looking inwards at herself and how she manipulates and controls vulnerable women. With vulnerable strippers she becomes their source of drugs, spoils them and keeps supplying them, and when they become dependent on her she starts manipulating and controlling them. And when this all breaks down she doesn't want to admit it nor face it and instead blames tricks for everything.

She's become TUSCL's new san_jose_guy in this regard. Constantly posting her concrete delusion that tricks are the problem with strippers. Ad nauseam because she can't face her own problems and controlling and manipulative ways. On TUSCL she can live in constant denial just like san_jose_guy did. 🤣🤭🤡

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Avatar for apieceofsausage
apieceofsausage

Ignoring the weird arguing going on in here.

As a SW, my answer is a mix of three things:

  1. Work this job long enough and you start to have an innate distrust of men.

  2. I am either having sex or doing sexual things all the time for my job (however i am kinda a workaholic) and due to that I am barely ever in the mood for recreational sex, which would make a long term monogamous relationship a bit tenuous.

  3. Most people who say they'd be okay with their partner doing this job...really wouldn't be in actuality.

So add all that onto the normal difficulties people have with finding long term relationships.

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Icey

Apieceofsausage right. The distrust of men from dealing with customers is a huge thing.

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rickymacrodong

Icey your bitchass hoe left you because you were too controlling and insecure, it had nothing to do with trust issues of men in general or an innate distrust of men. In fact she had full trust in you because she was always aware of the fact that like a dog as long as she kept feeding you, you would be forever loyal. Hence why she left you not because of any trust issues but because of your controlling behavior. A dog cannot attempt to control its owner, you broke the dynamics of the relationship which were supposed to be she feeds you and cuddles you and otherwise does whatever she wants

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SirLapdanceanot

My ATF DS was an escort and the one type of man she flat out avoided was the predatory pimp type. She only danced days because of it. She said nights were when they would stalk her at clubs promising the world to her. The only relationship she ever mentioned to me was with a former pimp type that tried to control her and eventually the mental and drug abuse eventually led to physical abuse.

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rickdugan

These opinions relate solely to full time dancers who do this for some period measured in years. Day Job Girls, Tourist Dancers and other toe dippers are a different kettle of fish.

The simple answer that it's their jobs may sound good, but IMO it's more complicated than that.

A lot of these girls don't grow up like we did. They often grow up with less structure and parental supervision due to neglect and other issues Things like education and life skills aren't assigned the same value that they are in affluent households. They also grow up with males constantly letting them down, especially father figures but also men in other positions of authority (landlords looking for back rent, school teachers and administrators who treat them poorly, etc.). Money is often a constant worry.

So by the time the make it to adulthood, they have neither the tools nor the desire to live a buttoned down lifestyle. Both the freedom and the money, which they never had growing up, are what keep them in the lifestyle for many years. When they do let men into their lives, it's guys who they can relate to - guys who grew up like them and who we refer to as the "loser BFs."

So when some moron whines on one of these sites about how some girl prefers her loser BF instead of a great successful guy like him, there you go. Even if the apple of his eye wasn't way out of his league, which certainly isn't going to be bridged by a house in the suburbs or basic security, she doesn't value the same things that he does. She is looking at life through a very different prism.

It's also very common for these girls to have periods of time when they burn out and yearn for something different. So they'll quit for a while, sometimes at the insistence of a new SO, and start having kids. Sometimes they even get married to the baby daddy. But sooner or later they start to chafe at the constraints of vanilla life, including monetary constraints and strict work schedules. Their natural mistrust of men also kicks into high gear as they start to feel like their SOs are trying to control them. That's when they inevitably blow the shit up and end up back on the pole. It's not uncommon for these girls to even yo-yo back and forth multiple times through these cycles, ending up with multiple baby daddies in the process.

The moral of the story is that you can't turn an alley cat into a house cat, no matter how much you try.

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Icey

Rickdugan how does a man grow up to be a cheater addicted to hookers?

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rickymacrodong

@RD i agree with much of your post but IMO its also about personality traits. If she prefers her so called loser bf to a so called successful rich guy, there is more to the story. Chances are her loser bf in that scenario is tatted up, maybe even goes to the gym, has experience with women, whereas the rich successful guy in that scenario is an IT nerd of some sort with little experience with women or how to dress properly, maybe even an improper haircut or hygiene.
But if she did happen to run into a guy who was rich and successful and also tatted up, or also had whatever personality or physical traits she was looking for, she would prefer that guy more, IMO.
And as far as looks it doesnt just mean handsomeness but also the way the guy cuts his hair, hygiene, the way the guy dresses. The rich guy wearing a t shirt and jeans simply wont be as attractive as the poorer guy wearing a bunch of bling or designer clothing and sneakers.

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Icey

Rickdugan most would consider a married man who cant keep his wife and has an addiction to hookers as a loser. How do they grow up?

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rickymacrodong

Nobody considers those guys losers icey. Youre talking about literal millionaires

Keeping or not keeping a wife is irrelevant

But as far as hooker addiction, the cases we hear about are literally millionaires

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rickdugan

I hear you Icey, but my issues are a whole other ball of wax.

Maybe we can my background the same day we cover why a dude would engineer a fake suicide narrative in a pathetically desperate pea for attention, just because his crack ho GF left him, and then spend the next 5 years trolling a strip club board. 😉

Shit man, if I was you, I'd probably want to kill myself too. But not because of the crack ho GF, lol. 😆

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SirLapdanceanot

LMFAO Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram would much rather talk about anything but controlling and obsessive and enabling junkie stripper whore "boyfriends" being the problem

@Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram you might do better on keeping a junkie stripper whore in a relationship by not enabling her and turning her into a junkie to begin with. Start looking into and addressing your own problems rather than blaming something else. 🤣🤭🤡🐶

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Icey

Rickdugan youre so defensive for a reason. Hooker addiction is loser Shit. Making shit up about others doesn't change the facts. Strippers look down on tricks and especially married ones

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SirLapdanceanot

^^^her constant trolling of tricks is how she's dealing with it. She's incapable, rather guilty or ashamed, of looking inwards at herself and how she manipulates and controls vulnerable women. With vulnerable strippers she becomes their source of drugs, spoils them and keeps supplying them, and when they become dependent on her she starts manipulating and controlling them. And when this all breaks down she doesn't want to admit it nor face it and instead blames tricks for everything.

She's become TUSCL's new san_jose_guy in this regard. Constantly posting her concrete delusion that tricks are the problem with strippers. Ad nauseam because she can't face her own problems and controlling and manipulative ways. On TUSCL she can live in constant denial just like san_jose_guy did. 🤣🤭🤡

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rickdugan

By the way, to be clear, I didn't post this as a denigration of strippers. I've just spent far too much time with them over far too many years. After enough barside discussions with strippers in clubs all over the country, lubricated by an ocean of alcohol, a common profile begins to form. It's certainly not on-size fits all, but I'd say that some variation of this profile fits a high % of them.

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skibum609

To be fair most people suck at long term relationships because they require effort, sacrifice and compromise. I make my living off people who can't do it. The idea an ugly lying fuck like Icey even knows what he thinks, let alone what strippers think is just too idiotic for words. I enjoy strip clubbing. I don't care if they love me or hate me. I am good at what I do, but praise or derision from others means nothing to me. Just a job. Just a dancer. Just a mechanic. Just a golf pro. Business relationships are not a commentary on who you are as a person, so who cares what people think if business is getting done!

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Icey

Skibum youre a married man fucking hookers who look like teen boys

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rickymacrodong

Icey when you made the depression thread you admitted your girl left you because you were too controlling and insecure and she foind another guy.
But for the last several years youve been attempting to blame shift the cause to “her hatred of tricks led her to have a generalized issue with all men”. Basically your trying to blame these boogeyman tricks for your bitch ass relationship failing. I already explained to you your relationship failed because you were only meant to be a doggy to your girl, she feeds you, clothes and cuddles you, and you give her unconditional love and loyalty. When you became controlling and insecure that wasnt proper doggy behavior thats why she left you.

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Puddy Tat

@apieceofsausage 's account fits with what other SWs have said. Porn stars say off set they'd rather ice down their cooch and catch up on Netflix than fuck their actual bf or husband. And studies have shown that the more dicks a woman has taken, the harder it is to bond with one man.
.
The Puddy Tat respects a woman's choice to be an alley cat or a house cat, but never the two shall meet. I could never deal with knowing that a woman once titillated men for money. Call it shallow but that's what I am. If she wants to grind on me or blow me in the back room, that's her prerogative and I respect that. She's a valued service provider like the guy who cuts my hair or fixes my car.
I just won't get involved outside the club. Outside the club, I date and fuck good girls whether doctors, nurses, or corporate types. They never ask me for help paying their bills. Or if they do, I ask them if I look like Bank of America and cut them loose.
.
But if you're relying on your woman sucking other men's cocks to pay your bills, you're not a fucking man. You're setting yourself up for her to leave you, to pair bond with other men, for you to be one in an endless parade of cocks in her life, so don't be surprised when that actually happens.

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Icey

Looking down on the women you pay to fuck is low

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SirLapdanceanot

^^^her constant trolling of tricks is how she's dealing with it. She's incapable, rather guilty or ashamed, of looking inwards at herself and how she manipulates and controls vulnerable women. With vulnerable strippers she becomes their source of drugs, spoils them and keeps supplying them, and when they become dependent on her she starts manipulating and controlling them. And when this all breaks down she doesn't want to admit it nor face it and instead blames tricks for everything.

She's become TUSCL's new san_jose_guy in this regard. Constantly posting her concrete delusion that tricks are the problem with strippers. Ad nauseam because she can't face her own problems and controlling and manipulative ways. On TUSCL she can live in constant denial just like san_jose_guy did. 🤣🤭🤡

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rickymacrodong

^i noticed that icey took a concept SJG often talked about but took it to a laughable extreme.
SJG basically stated you dont want to lead with money, that you can tip the girl money while talking to her, but dont buy lapdances.

Icey took that to an extreme, with posts claiming he has stage tipped 1k, 2k, even 5k and even 12k to different girls. When you tip such an outrageous amount, you cant really say youre not engaging in p4p even if you stage tipped first and the girl banged you later. He looks for loopholes like sugaring relationships or drunk/high raver girls so he can claim hes not a trick and doesnt do p4p.

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SirLapdanceanot

^^^ it's basically p4p GFE. They pay a stripper whore for the GFE service whether they want to admit it or not. In Iceydodo's aka chunkyflacko on Instagram case she will never admit it, though. She'll double down that she's having a real connection, but the fact remains that she had to first shower her coke junkie stripper whore with a lot of money and coke just to get with her and then her whore stopped doing business as soon as she started cutting off and controlling the coke payments.

And LMFAO Iceydodo aka chunkyflacko on Instagram thinks this is all "normal relationship" stuff. 🤣🤭🤡🐶

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ilbbaicnl

In a relatively affluent, secure society, long term relationships are harder for everyone, due to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. By nurture, and perhaps to some degree nature, people are possessive in committed relationships. SWers have to resist the temptation to slip into their phoney work persona when negotiating issues with their SO.

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