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Why do some SW struggle to have Long Term Relationships?

Kratistos

1 yr ago · 1 min read

Hey guys,

First of I am asking from a non-judgemental place. I am asking more in because I lack of this knowledge. Maybe for some of you the answer is obvious but for me I can't figure it out exactly.

Also SW is a large field there are many women involve in it(content creators, sugar dating, stripping...etc). Its not all porn.

However, one pattern I see repeated is that either SW or their rivals(people who aren't their fans) will always bring up this topic. Its similar to how when people want to make fun of nerds they'll say, "They can't get laid."

They'll say, women in SW, "Can't have relationships."

Replies (17)Latest

Profile picture for Kratistos
Kratistos
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*they have a hard time forming relationships

Profile picture for TheOne&Only
TheOne&Only
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Why don't you ask a SW?

Profile picture for 59
59
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Because their partners can't handle their job.

Profile picture for skibum609
skibum609
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The difference between love and in-love is passion, closeness, tenderness, and physical affection. It's tough to have that when one party is selling it to other people.

Profile picture for skibum609
skibum609
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^You are so fucking pompous and ignorant. You're the ultimate trick; little girl.

Profile picture for JamesSD
JamesSD
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Generally a lot of the factors that contribute to choosing sex work make long term relationships difficult, even after leaving sex work. I've joked if they fired every stripper with a substance problem half of them would be gone. Many also came from chaotic home lives where their models for relationships were not healthy ones. Anyone who has dated a non SW who grew up in chaos knows there often are additional relationship challenges. Finally, like a lot of women they are chasing the same top 10 percent of guys and those hot rich tall men have options and won't choose a SW for anything but FWB.

Profile picture for Rightfield
Rightfield
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I just deleted a long winded explanation of what happened to the porn actress who went by the name Shauna Grant decades ago. The summary is that many sexy young women have some human flaws, and don't have life handled like they think they do.

Actually, most people in their 20s probably don't have life, including relationships, figured out very completely. But if that person is a sexy woman, she is pulled in directions most of us aren't. Maybe she thinks her greatest assets are her tits and ass. And that doesn't bode well for anything but shallow relationships.

Profile picture for rattdog
rattdog
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combination of lack of self-respect and real questionable choices regarding choosing who her main man is.

Profile picture for motorhead
motorhead
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I still keep in touch with some old ATF’s in a previous life (15+ years ago). They are the nicest women in the world but lying is part of their DNA.

I hate to generalize and say all sex workers are inherently dishonest - but I think many are.

Dishonesty is not a characteristic of solid, long term relationships

Profile picture for twentyfive
twentyfive
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If you’ve never seen what a long term relationship between two people that care about each other, you have no frame of reference or model to compare with.

Profile picture for apieceofsausage
apieceofsausage
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Ignoring the weird arguing going on in here.

As a SW, my answer is a mix of three things:

  1. Work this job long enough and you start to have an innate distrust of men.

  2. I am either having sex or doing sexual things all the time for my job (however i am kinda a workaholic) and due to that I am barely ever in the mood for recreational sex, which would make a long term monogamous relationship a bit tenuous.

  3. Most people who say they'd be okay with their partner doing this job...really wouldn't be in actuality.

So add all that onto the normal difficulties people have with finding long term relationships.

Profile picture for rickdugan
rickdugan
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These opinions relate solely to full time dancers who do this for some period measured in years. Day Job Girls, Tourist Dancers and other toe dippers are a different kettle of fish.

The simple answer that it's their jobs may sound good, but IMO it's more complicated than that.

A lot of these girls don't grow up like we did. They often grow up with less structure and parental supervision due to neglect and other issues Things like education and life skills aren't assigned the same value that they are in affluent households. They also grow up with males constantly letting them down, especially father figures but also men in other positions of authority (landlords looking for back rent, school teachers and administrators who treat them poorly, etc.). Money is often a constant worry.

So by the time the make it to adulthood, they have neither the tools nor the desire to live a buttoned down lifestyle. Both the freedom and the money, which they never had growing up, are what keep them in the lifestyle for many years. When they do let men into their lives, it's guys who they can relate to - guys who grew up like them and who we refer to as the "loser BFs."

So when some moron whines on one of these sites about how some girl prefers her loser BF instead of a great successful guy like him, there you go. Even if the apple of his eye wasn't way out of his league, which certainly isn't going to be bridged by a house in the suburbs or basic security, she doesn't value the same things that he does. She is looking at life through a very different prism.

It's also very common for these girls to have periods of time when they burn out and yearn for something different. So they'll quit for a while, sometimes at the insistence of a new SO, and start having kids. Sometimes they even get married to the baby daddy. But sooner or later they start to chafe at the constraints of vanilla life, including monetary constraints and strict work schedules. Their natural mistrust of men also kicks into high gear as they start to feel like their SOs are trying to control them. That's when they inevitably blow the shit up and end up back on the pole. It's not uncommon for these girls to even yo-yo back and forth multiple times through these cycles, ending up with multiple baby daddies in the process.

The moral of the story is that you can't turn an alley cat into a house cat, no matter how much you try.

Profile picture for rickdugan
rickdugan
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I hear you Icey, but my issues are a whole other ball of wax.

Maybe we can my background the same day we cover why a dude would engineer a fake suicide narrative in a pathetically desperate pea for attention, just because his crack ho GF left him, and then spend the next 5 years trolling a strip club board. 😉

Shit man, if I was you, I'd probably want to kill myself too. But not because of the crack ho GF, lol. 😆

Profile picture for rickdugan
rickdugan
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By the way, to be clear, I didn't post this as a denigration of strippers. I've just spent far too much time with them over far too many years. After enough barside discussions with strippers in clubs all over the country, lubricated by an ocean of alcohol, a common profile begins to form. It's certainly not on-size fits all, but I'd say that some variation of this profile fits a high % of them.

Profile picture for skibum609
skibum609
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To be fair most people suck at long term relationships because they require effort, sacrifice and compromise. I make my living off people who can't do it. The idea an ugly lying fuck like Icey even knows what he thinks, let alone what strippers think is just too idiotic for words. I enjoy strip clubbing. I don't care if they love me or hate me. I am good at what I do, but praise or derision from others means nothing to me. Just a job. Just a dancer. Just a mechanic. Just a golf pro. Business relationships are not a commentary on who you are as a person, so who cares what people think if business is getting done!

Profile picture for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
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In a relatively affluent, secure society, long term relationships are harder for everyone, due to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. By nurture, and perhaps to some degree nature, people are possessive in committed relationships. SWers have to resist the temptation to slip into their phoney work persona when negotiating issues with their SO.

Profile picture for unclewillSea
unclewillSea
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Because they are junkies & Dumb

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