Teenager Wants Dating Advice??? :)
The teenager next door came over for dating advice. This is the same teenager who wanted to protect little old me from that evil-doer Gambling dancer. :)
I told him that he should get advice from a ladys' man and that I've never been a ladys' man. So he brings up Gambling dancer. LOL! He knows darn well that she is paid help.
He's like she is HOT and BAD. Just his type of lady. He now says he didn't realize that I could take care of myself and he was just trying to protect me. He is a very good kid and he should have most of the qualities young girls like: Good in sports, Tall, Clear skin, Etc. The main negative that I see is that he is too nice, which given all his other pluses shouldn't hold him back at all.
I told him that Gambling dancer is real bad news. And, he is like I KNOW THAT!!! SHE IS HOT!!! :) Yes, and I told him at least as far as my needs she is worth the risks and trouble. Main thing is don't make it a "real" relationship i.e. unpaid.
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Yep, his parents know. And, have told him to pray for me. :) Their religion is all about loving the sinner so I'm like a favorite at their home.
They also know about and have met Gambling dancer and apparently loving the sinner doesn't extend to BAD, HOT as HELL women. :) Their daughter told me that she was going to demand that the family move, if I allowed Gambling dancer to stay or had anymore whores coming over. She says that she is afraid not only of Gambling dancer, but her men folk who must be even worse. I asked the daughter about loving Gambling dancer because after all she is a sinner------she said GET REAL. :(
The funny thing is Gambling dancer actually shares their religious beliefs, but says she needs the $$$ and that God understands.
It is sad and amusing the bias friends show. The frail old man, me, needs to be protected from the BAD young woman.
The sad reality is the young woman actually could use their help and concern. It doesn't make much sense, imo, to fuss over an old man whose time is pretty much up and yet condemn a young woman who should have many years left.
Tell him to learn how to make people happy. REALLY learn ... not just "be nice" or "do what they say they want," but rather, WATCH what people RESPOND to and learn to DO THAT STUFF. It is a mind-changing experience, to actually start observing humans and then trying to fulfill those unexpressed needs.
The next step, is to learn to DO that stuff (as above) but not just OFFER IT FOR FREE. Instead, offer it only if the woman is a good girl and treats him nice.
But that's an advanced technique.
Hi Book Guy,
I think he does make people happy and since he was little he always tried to make people happy. His problem is with girls. They tend to see him as a buddy and are interested in guys that aren't buddy material.
I remember when he was little he was complaining that EVERYONE including me liked his sister better than him. I explained of course that was the case because he is just a male and she is female. He said that didn't make any sense because he was MUCH NICER than his sister, which was 100% true, and that the nicer person should be liked better. What does he do? He tries to become even nicer so that he might at least get equal billing with his sister. Of course, it didn't work. His parents still preferred his sister, I still preferred his sister, his relatives still preferred his sister, and his additional niceness didn't do diddly; it just wasn't appreciated by anyone; including me.
And, the history still seems to repeat and he hasn't learned because he thinks everyone should want to be nice. :(
I think in fact you're probably pretty clear on that subject, though you put it in mildly different (maybe better?) terms. But is HE clear on that subject?
Excellent points. :) Doing all those social conforming things he would see as being good and right and not a chore in the least. He is generally a follower especially where he sees the end result as good. Giving grandma a birthday card to bring her a smile and let her know you care. Holding doors open for his teachers to show that he respects them. Honoring his father because his father is the main provider and loving parent. Being on time so as to respect other people's time. It is the golden rule of treating other they way you want to be treated.
One thing he does complain about is that often he doesn't see reciprocity (sp?). For example, he does all these good things because he wants to and yet his parents still don't trust him. I was told by his parents, I was trying to get him a little more freedom, that he can't be trusted because he isn't as intelligent as other children. (He worked very hard to improve his grades and even that wasn't enough.) The parents say he needs strict control so that he doesn't learn bad things. His mom would like him to just stay home and take care of the family his entire life!
Bottom line, I mainly believe in looking at what the successful guys are doing. He doesn't like what the successful guys are doing. :( I understand what he saying, but like I told him there are some successful guys that are actually positive role models. He just starts shaking his head. I said believe it or not I understand, but the fact is even though you have to look at lot harder there are successful "lady's men" who are good guys. Also, (and he didn't want to hear this) it is about finding a woman who will accept you the way you are! :) Yes, he is ready for action NOW and not in some distant future. Life is tough cookies. :)
Oh, this teenager was significantly slower than his peers as a youngster. And, it seemed like he really listened when I explain to him that despite being a slow learner he could become successful in school. It would take lots of time and real hard work and NO quitting. He says were you a "slow learner"? :)
I think he is with just a little luck, going to be successful all around. :) When he was a little boy, I wouldn't have given that as a snowball in hell---hopefully my second take is on the mark.