Drunkest dancer I ever saw...

This was nearly ten years ago. The place was a room-not really set up to be a strip joint-it had folding chairs for cryin out loud. It was a nude place that opened at six, but when they let in first few customers, me included, not a dancer to be seen.

Finally, about twenty minutes later, this petite young black gal staggered out. She had on a long sleeve T shirt, but nothing from the waist on down. A security guard turned her around and got her back in the room she came out of.

A hispanic gal appeared and tried to entertain the five of us, but one guy had his eye on her and they disappeared into the VIP area. Another hispanic gal appeared, but bounced between the three other guys. Finally, the black gal came out. She had sobered up somehow. She looked over the room and approached me. I accepted a couple of dances from me (good grindage-but she was still a bit loopy).As I paid her and she saw the wad in my wallet, she offered the full menu in the VIP. I didn't know what she was on, and even with a condom on, I was afraid of the full spread of blood borne diseases. I declined and left the club.

...was on my lap at certain Tampa club not too long ago. She seemed ok during our chat, but about halfway through the only song with her in the back she starts to slow down like she's trying to balance herself. Then she lowers her head (with her back to me) and stops completely like somebody took out her batteries. About 20 seconds go by and I'm thinking WTF, then she starts unsteadily half-grinding around again. The best part was the song ending, not because I could escape out front but because she complains that I owed her for more than one song.

Message to strippers nationwide: just because you pass out halfway through doesn't make it two songs...

Back in the older days when the Million Dollar Fantasy Ranch in Missouri was at it's prime. This is a juice bar but the dancers obviously stash drinks in their lockers. I was sitting on the stage tipping the dancers, all nude club nice girls. One dark haired girl whom I had seen several times before in my visits was doing her 3 numbers and couldn't walk on her heels. Finally she managed it over to me and got on her knees and leaned over to get a tip between her tits. Went head over heels right over my head, almost took a 6 inch heel in the head. She landed on her back, got up and tried to walk back up the steps to the stage but was lead back by one of the bouncers never to be seen again.

I read about a drunk 23 year old girl was driving down the interstate the wrong way the other night here in South Carolina and crashed head on with a semi. I can only hope if people choose to drink, they have already found somebody else who can give them a ride home. Even riding home with a strip club customer if he doesn't look shady probably would be safer than driving drunk. Not that I really want a dancer to wake up and wonder how she got there.

hmmm, now if a pretty dancer seems drunk and asks if she can go home with me, I might feel obligated to take her with me. Lol, maybe I should tell her I have beer in my fridge and a satellite dish. A lot of dancers can't handle too much beer. Most men have an enzyme that digests the alcohol while females do not in general. I've heard about a study that men and women can drink the same amount and the enzyme in the men will knock out the alcohol in men a lot faster than it goes away in women who lack the enzyme. Plus that doesn't take in account that most men have a bigger body mass than women and the effect of the alcohol in one bottle of beer has less impact on a bigger body mass. Therefore most women get drunk a lot easier than men.

Over the years I've seen several passed-out, but those are hardly worth mentioning. A couple of events do stand out though: The first is when this total stranger girl comes bounding up to me when I'm seated on a couch in a secluded corner of the club. She jumps up on the couch, straddles me, grabs my head (the big one) and presses my face firmly into her coochie. Nice start! Got my attention. As the seconds go by I feel her hands on top of my head exerting more and more pressure. Soon she's sliding down until she collapses in a heap in my lap - she's out cold. It is shift change, so I am stroking her, trying to get her to wake up. But she is unresponsive. I'm OK with the whole thing - as long as she doesn't hurl in my lap or something. After ten minutes or so a bouncer drifts by while making his rounds, notices the situation and we manage to rouse her and he mostly drags her to the dressing room. On the way out they give me a coupon for free admission next time. Not a problem.

I drop by a week or so later and that girl is working. She remembers me - which I thought was amazing in itself. I'm hoping for the straddle again, but she's sober and appologizing for being so drunk last time. Anyway on this day I get in free, she gives me bbbj, and doesn't want any money. I give her a generous tip anyway, and we end up with an OTC relationship off and on for over a year.

She eventually disappeared. I heard that her husband had some problems with the law, and they had moved to another state in the middle of the night.

Alcohol also increases the chances of women getting breast cancer. So if you see a dancer drinking, maybe we guys should offer free breast exams as well. One dancer seemed very interested. I told her I didn't have any medical training but I did see some videos on youtube about how to do breast exams.

OK, I got another one that's pretty good...I'm sitting at one of the satelite stages in a big club nursing a cold one . This cute little thang is on the stage, but my attention is on another dancer on the main stage. Pretty soon, I feel what I think is moisture on my forearm which is resting on the stage in front of me. I turn my head, and the girl on my stage is right in front of me, resting back on her elbows with her leags spread doing that in and out pussy thing. Pretty soon here comes a short little squirt of pee right out on the stage. She looks down, ponders the situation, looks up at me and states with confidence, "she's pretty drunk". She took the napkin from under my drink, mopped up her little accident and staggered off stage.

mmdv26...you win

I wonder if Shadowcat was the drunkest old pervert the dancers had ever seen?

For many years the drunkest was the one who fell off the stage and into my lap one night about 20 years ago. She was passed by a recent favorite of mine who tried to have sex with me one night in the VIP room without a condom. When I wouldn't let her slip it into her pussy she tried to stick it in her ass. The next time I went back she had been suspended for being so drunk that she pissed herself all over a leather couch one night...glad I missed that one.

There was a rather tall blonde at one of my favorite clubs about two years ago who spent most of her time sitting and drinking with her regulars and when she had to get onstage, it was always rather interesting.

One time, I went to the rail to tip her and she was so drunk that she could barely bend down to one knee. As I was talking to her for a second (typical rail chat -- thanks for the tip, etc.) she dozed off for a second. When she woke up seconds later, she started to rise -- and I backed away -- only to fall head first off the stage. Fortunately, I was able to get back to the rail fast enough to stop a complete nose dive. I caught her by her head and shoulders and she ended up wacking her knees real hard on the rail.

She left the club a couple of weeks later. . . never to be seen again. Too bad, she was one of the better looking dancers.

A dancer was on stage, holding onto the pole for leverage. I'd worked with this girl several times, enough to know by looking at her that she could fall over at any moment. I went up to the stage to act like tipping her, just to check on her. She looked at me, smiled in a spaced-out way, and sank to the floor-smiling the whole time and grasping the pole. She fell over to the side, as though going to sleep. Myself and another dancer quickly scooped her up and walked (!) her to the nearest bathroom (away from customers-dressing room too far).

Alone in the bathroom with her, this girl became enraged. She just went crazy, and almost fell this time on hard tile. My friend (the other dancer helping) ran to get help, and the girl puked all over the place during this time. By the time a bouncer made his way in (it felt like forever), she was sitting on the toilet-no care in the world-looking like nothing happened.

Although it's the right thing to do to help these people, it's so maddening. I don't find it amusing at all since it's always seeming to be other people who are harmed by these people.

Fortunately, this girl no longer dances (I think she was fired). I think about her sometimes, cause she was a nice person, but a drunk. It's sad.

I have a worse one, almost forgot. A girl actually went to the bathroom (talking feces on the stage) while squatting at the pole. I didn't see it, but was back dancing, and heard about it(once was enough, but people were shocked and disgusted, and can we stop talking about such stuff??)...eew. Yes, she was fired.