FAT ASS Comment, Would it Cause To Stop Going to the Club?

This is fictional??? Wish you had put that at the TOP of your message. Tell us what really happened and maybe you will get comments that are actually insightful.

Insults roll off me like rain from a newly-waxed car.

But dirty aquariums? Have you NO standards, man! I'd leave and never look back!

Criminy!

O.

What actually happened is in the thread titled "RolLexx and the Obnoxious DJ . . . "

I was surprised by posters who, imo, seemed to essentially be saying a few bad apples should cause me not to return to a club that I like. In the short term, I will stay away just so as not to be looking for trouble on the chance passions may still be simmering.

IMO, it is like a dancer rips me off or two dancers rip me off and that means I dump the club? If I liked the club, then I'd probably try and take the least confrontational approach assuming 1) it wasn't a large amount involved and 2) I hadn't gotten too angry. With anger I'm apt to be more emotional thinking in terms only of what "I'm certain is right." Other people may actually be certain that they're right especially if emotions are running in high gear.

Anyway, in one of my construction jobs I would have the assignment to deal with unhappy customers and I was considered good at that because the customers could become so abusive. I didn't consider what I was doing as anything special--the customer had no power over me so I could take endless abuse without getting upset and I stayed focused on trying to find an "acceptable" solution. With the club situation, it isn't the same deal at all because situations can get out of hand quickly and there is real risk; I do get angry sometimes overly so. Maybe that is the answer i.e. I'm just use to accepting a high level of abuse so therefore I didn't see what happened at the club as being so bad to cut future business permanently unless forced to do so by the club. Also, in my mind it just didn't add up (leaving permanently) because there are so many positives. It seemed like the other posters just dismissed the positives completely--close friends also seem throw away positives even those who are optimists.

The dirty aquariums make me feel like calling PETA. :( I love the analogy with the newly waxed car. :)

"So do the harsh comments of a tiny minority cause you to STOP"

The harsh comments of a vast majority would not stop me from doing what I want to do.

But then, I'm a lawyer.

I'm an old school alpha male-Marine Recon. Like John Wayne toilet paper I take no crap off of no one. If he had said it to me face to face I would've given him the hairy eyeball(I've actually made a couple of full grown men pee their pants with this). If he had repeated it from the DJ booth, I would've found the manager and explained to him to instantly get a new DJ because the one he has is about to die a truly horrible death, bone by bone.

Aquariums?? Do you have a fat ass? If so, it just sounds like he was callin' 'em as he sees 'em.

Interesting opinions. :) (Yes, I happen to like aquariums; especially upper tier.)

The real question is, do you have a FAT ASS???

A FAT ASS? No, but do I score points for a paunch? :)

Hi chitownlawyer,

The harsh comments may be the equivalent of "Danger, Will Robinson!" The denizens of the strip club like the aliens from outerspace probably don't care about substantive or procedural law as they prepare to carve you like a rib roast or zap you like a bug!!! Of course, one way or another Mr. Robinson always prevailed. :)

Hi Dudester,

In my youth, I might have been crazy enough to attempt to throw him out of his DJ booth or worse. :) Of course, in my youth there wasn't even a paunch. Definitely, wouldn't have spoken to the manager.

Brings to mind this young stripper at my home. She answers her cell phone and suddenly she extends her arm out away from her ear. The sound of a young man was quite loud and raging mad. She is just loving every minute of it. After she hangs up she asks do you have a gun? I say yes and she gives me the thumbs up. She was fairly sure he was going to end up dead or be spending most of his life behind bars. I said don't you care? She shakes her head NO---she ain't the one who is going to be killing him or putting him behind bars so it's not her problem. Besides she loved watching him get so heated up about nothing. I said damn if you were my girl and I was young, then more likely than not I'd be acting even worse. She laughed. :)

When I was a kid, I often saw my quick and ill tempered eighty year old grandfather get into fights with men half his age and lay a horrible whupping on them. It took a freak accident to finally take him out, otherwise he'd still be whupping up on younger men, so I know that age is not a factor.

In my thirties I had years of counseling and therapy to get rid of the type of temper he had. I'm almost fifty now, but like him I can still do serious damage. Just a few years ago, I came out of work into the parking garage and found some rowdy skateboarders up to no good. They came after me and when I took out two of them in just seconds, the rest took the hint and ran.

So, I'm telling you you're never too old, and you don't have to take bullying from the club DJ. If you feel you're too frail to scare him, here's something my sister did:

She befriended a HUGE former Hell's Angel. A client had come into her office everyday with a derogatory ethnic joke aimed at her. She had Danny come to the office and as the moron started his joke Danny stood up and said:"I have a joke. What lays on the floor groaning and bleeding? The next son of a bitch that tells an ethnic joke in this office."

End of problem.

Hi Dudester,

Yes, I can definitely see where a HUGE Hell's Angel past or present would be very intimidating. :) It is very difficult for me to imagine an 80 year older whupping anyone. Sounds like I needed him. :) Things could have turned out a whole lot worse. I don't know if it was in The Miami Herald or not, but around the end of December there was a stabbing incident over at Angels (old feud) and there was a shooting at Tootsies, which was in paper, so these incidents can get bad.

Sometimes just a little breathing room is all that is needed for things to work out. Or, I can have my gambling stripper's cousin pay a visit to the DJ. ;) Her cousin is for real (with an extensive rap sheet to prove it) and yet he seems like such a sweet person--he doesn't look sweet, btw. It, imo, is more than a little absurd to be fighting over visiting a strip club. Like a police officer told me decades ago: Even if you're 100% in the right sometimes the smartest choice is to walk away----and he was talking about pursuing justice through the courts. I didn't understand him at all at the time---not going to court seemed crazy! The officer was right more than I ever could have believed.

I would think the DJ and the bartender were assholes for treating me like that, but I wouldn't stop going to the club. If I like there and the prices are good, I'm not going to inconvenience myself and drive farther away and more for less because some assholes made some smart remarks. Besides I have a sharp tongue and pretty tough skin. Everyone has flaws and it would have took me all of 30 seconds to find his if he really wanted to take it there. As long as no one takes it to heart, who cares? But you have to defend yourself or just ignore it though. It's a cold world out there. I'm in a strip club to see naked women anyway. That is all I need to put me in a good mood.

Well, defending yourself might be worthwile depending on your values even if the price is exorbitant (death, severe bodily injury, incarceration, etc.). And, by defending yourself that could include not only direct confrontation, but seeking the assistance of others such as the manager. Ignoring it could pretty much have the same costs as defending yourself. The cowards way out seems like the most cost effective strategy as far as protecting your person. :)

AND, if there are a bunch of clubs like old days along W. Dixie Hwy, then, imo, it doesn't seem like the coward (peace lover) is losing even a little bit. A bad culture at Angels? Heck, just go across the street to Cherry's Lounge, which had a totally different culture. Cherry's ain't your cup of tea? Well maybe Candy Stripers is the place to be? Heck, it was just fun testing out a new club to see what the deal was. Of all the clubs---I can only remember those 3, but there was no shortage of clubs on Dixie with their own cultures.

I'm taller than many bouncers in the clubs I visit. I heard that I can intimidate people without even realizing it so it's no surprise I've never heard a comment like that. If I did I'm not sure if I would blow it off or get even. Getting fired for making stupid ass rude comments or threatened to be fired seems more appropriate. However if he doesn't get fired then you could feel free to fire back comments about the Clumsy ass DJ who can't even walk a straight line without hitting customers and falling down. If he seemed to be saying the comment in a joking kind of way, I might leave it at that and forget about it.

I really prefer to avoid anything physical or getting that angry. I still have memories of going berserk as a young kid and hearing stories of how I hit the other kids so hard (in self defense) that I knocked out some of their teeth and sent them to the hospital. I don't really want everyone to be afraid of me because I remember as a little kid how that feels. However back then at one time I had no choice because 8 to 10 kids ganged up on me so I wasn't pulling any punches. I only got a chance to hit about half of them, the others ran away too quickly. I think after I was first kicked, I hit 3 or 4 while they were all in the air getting ready to do more kicks or punches. I can move fast while they seem to be in slow motion. What worries me is that it felt good not holding back. However I don't want to go to jail for killing anyone because I hit them that hard now that I'm older and bigger. So I've kept a tight lid on my anger.

A little bit of name calling is rude and I would speak to the manager and his manager about the situation if that doesn't remedy it. Firing the DJ or getting an apology would be appropriate as well as from the bartender. If that doesn't work bad mouth the whole club and don't visit anymore.

Hi casualguy,

I'm relating the following story based on memory of an article or articles in The Miami Herald:

Over at Coco's a (a few blocks east of the RolLexx on NW 119th Street) an older woman (40+-) was being insulted that she was too OLD to be working as a stripper/ho/whatever. The young customers doing the insulting wouldn't back off and I believe club security even intervened (probably tossing the old stripper, but I don't know). Turns out the older woman (40+-) was a mommie and her male children were the real deal. Mother needs some killing done, then there is nothing like keeping it in the family so mom calls one of her sons and tells him to get the gang and administer some justice. So her sons and some friends show and I don't know whether the customers were beaten first or whether they just died in a hail or slight shower of bullets. Anyway, some or all of the offending customers were killed dead to pay for repeatedly insulting remarks that she was too OLD to work as a stripper/ho/whatever.

Mom and her gang of miscreants will be doing life behind bars.

The moral of the story? Well, one moral for me is before complaining to management realize that that could set the issue ablaze. DJ gets fired and his mommie may greet you with crippling or deadly gunfire or perhaps just a knife attack. Or, you could be arrested. Some clubs do pay protection money to leo so think contrary possibilities.

Anyway, to me the issue was really about customers willingness to ignore ALL the positives due to mistreatment by a minority i.e. the minority gets you to take your business elsewhere. Similarly this ignore ALL the positives seems to be the normal thinking in boyfriend or girlfriend relationships. Girlfriend just doesn't respect boyfriend's time and suddenly it is "kick her to the curb" without really giving heft to all her positives i.e. she is supremely stunning.

Apparently several people in society seem to never learn that bullying and name calling some people does result in violence. We see it in our schools and in other places. The people take it for a while but then they may strike back and then it makes headlines. I suppose a lot of the bullying and name calling is done not because of the person they are attacking but because of some inferior trait of the person doing it. They need to put down someone to feel better than they are. Human nature seems to be fight or flee or today, come back to fight when your numbers are better.

As far as someone coming after you, I will go right back after them if I believe I am right and they are wrong. I'll have the law on my side as well if I'm right. Of course long before that time, I would have stopped visiting that club so the easiest course may be to stop visiting a club if you're afraid of the DJ.

I like staying invisible but I'm not afraid to talk to a manager of a club or chain and quietly tell them about their DJ even if the DJ never knows why he was fired. He can get fired for some other reason and never know the real reason. Managers can be clever and hide your identity. Many DJ's are a bit obnoxious anyway so I'd blow it off or not visit if someone had you pissed off.

My experience with a stripper who picked my pocket (true story) was that talking to the manager about the problem in his club worked to my benefit and to the manager's benefit. The dancer didn't even know who turned her in. That was obvious because I ran into her in other clubs and she was friendly to me.

As far as DJ's go, I prefer not to talk to them too much since many seem to think in my opinion that they need to sound outlandish and get attention making fun of things. I don't know how much they get paid but it's probably not a high paying job so they probably overhear a lot of crap about them all the time from customers in a club and never say anything about it. Things like the DJ talks too much, etc, etc. etc. Trying to please everyone in a crowd seems impossible so someone will likely always be upset at the DJ. However if most people are and the club is lot emptier as a result, then the DJ will be the manager's problem.

As far as a little bit of hassle from a few dancers, they are temporary and passing through in my opinion. I don't usually remember anything the temporary girls do or say for that long. If one dancer calls you a fat ass, just call her a fat ass back. No big deal in my opinion or call her something else and tell this to another dancer who will actually agree. I don't sweat the small stuff. This thread I thought was about the management staff treating a customer badly. I treat that differently. I don't consider dancers to be part of the management staff. They are independent contractors I believe in most cases and pay to work there.

To sum up, if management offends you at a club and the manager won't curb it, leave the club for good and never return.

If someone at a club commited a crime against you, report it and see if anyone gets prosecuted, fined, or fired.

If someone says a stupid remark, ignore it, they could be high on drugs or temporarily insane and it doesn't do much good arguing with an idiot.

Hi casualguy,

I just would generally prefer to avoid confrontation. Yes, I don't always follow that especially when I feel wronged or the chance for escalation seems low. And, not going to the clubs at all is definitely away to avoid confrontation, but for me that is too high a price to pay.

You're right the managment staff is different, at least imo. I don't even know what exactly is going on. The bartender never even asked security for assistance, but instead later asked a "tough" dancer. Even a "wimpy" dancer would probably be tough for me nowadays. So, I kept thinking why isn't she dragging security into it? Maybe security is more interested in keeping dancers happy? Maybe management wants to get rid of whites without leaving too much of a trail? Maybe it is just an aggressive minority or maybe it is personal?

I do know that very minor squabbles can turn bloody or deadly. I'm not sure who would be arrested or convicted for that matter; I don't have any faith or belief in the government at this point in my life.

Anyway, the part to me that was interesting is that other customer would definitely dump the club if they're mistreated or management doesn't care. I look at it as more of a question of tradeoffs. If Tootsie's management treats me like a million dollars, then damn yes that would probably make me feel wonderful. However, at $25 a song Tootsie's just has NO VALUE to me. :( IOWs, I'd rather go to a $5 club were management says we don't care if you come or not, it makes NO DIFFERENCE to us. Now, if at the $5 club management says there are too many whites and you have to go, then I'm gone! Gone because I don't think I have much choice---the law regardless of what it says is gutter garbage, ime.

The other thing to consider is if anyone even remembers the incident after a week or two. If no one remembers, then you can forget about it too. Or you could joke about it yourself acting like you don't care. Tell a clumsy DJ, yeah you better believe my fat ass is going to block your way, you have to be sober to get past me. I'm so big I can knock you down by just turning sideways. However I'm sorry for knocking the crap out of you, I'll try to watch out for you next time. That would be a good comeback line or two.

Maybe a different line such as. "Sorry if my fat ass just about knocked you out. I would really be disappointed if I missed out on all of your snappy lines that cheer everyone up so much. You want another drink?" I'm thinking there's a good chance he's not sober if he's that clumsy. No need to antagonize him even more. Drunk people can be easily manipulated towards anger if you're not careful.

Yes, I was thinking after a couple weeks they most likely will have moved on. So I will just stay away for a while.

Weird story. Perhaps there was something of a "code" going on -- dancers agreed that anyone whom they thought was a cop, they should refer to as a "fat ass" or something? Or perhaps another miscommunication happened, by which a dancer whom you engaged on a previous night had said she'd fuck you silly if you'd admit to the bartender that you had a fat ass, and you forgot about it.

I'd suggest just looking at them, waving around your biggest fattest dollar bill (hope you have a $50 or a $100 hangin' about), and walking out. Silently. Go back a week later and ask what the hell was going on. If it happens again, just abandon them forever. And post about it as a review here at TUSCL.