FAT ASS Comment, Would it Cause To Stop Going to the Club?
OK, you're going to a club that you currently like a great deal. The reasons you like the club so much are as follows:
1. $5 Dances
2. High Mileage
3. Hot Dancers
4. History--opportunity to meet dancers you know
5. Convenient Location
6. Pool Tables
7. Aquariums (but, dirty)
As you are walking into the club, a sleek fellow, the DJ runs into you and in a BOOMING voice declares damn you got a FAT ASS! You reply that he should have looked where he was running, if he wanted to run in the club. Big mistake. :( Now he is screaming about your FAT ASS and a friendly dancer is attempting to stick up for you. Cooler heads prevail and you make it to the bar. Almost needless to say you are still a little upset about the FAT ASS comments. As you start to sit down the bartender makes a point of saying in a boomlet of a voice the DJ is right you do have a FAT ASS! You say well, I don't think having a FAR ASS is that horrible. The bartender then starts making FAT ASS jokes occasionally pointing at you. Another nice dancer intervenes and finally is able to get the bartender away from talking about FAT ASSes.
Things now appear to be back on track. Dancers being friendly. Customers being friendly. And, you remember why you like the club so much. The dancers are super hot and seem to love to give you fantastic mileage. The prices are excellent and more importantly it is what you can afford.
On your way out you say hi to the manager and he greets you warmly. You tell him about the harsh comments concerning your FAT ASS. He says well, I've seen a lot worse. Maybe you should go to a club where the other customers have FAT ASSes?
The above is fictional, but represents a simulation of sorts.
*I* would want to keep going to the club (after a brief layoff) if possible because imo the benefits outweigh the negatives and besides it was just a very few impolite people causing the unpleasantness. Yes, I didn't enjoy that one visit too much. But, in the past I've been very happy and maybe in the future I wont hear comments about my FAT ASS. Under the circumstances I *would have* thought most people would still want to keep going to the club--just to see if things improve if nothing else.
So do the harsh comments of a tiny minority cause you to STOP going to a club that has so many benefits?
1. $5 Dances
2. High Mileage
3. Hot Dancers
4. History--opportunity to meet dancers you know
5. Convenient Location
6. Pool Tables
7. Aquariums (but, dirty)
As you are walking into the club, a sleek fellow, the DJ runs into you and in a BOOMING voice declares damn you got a FAT ASS! You reply that he should have looked where he was running, if he wanted to run in the club. Big mistake. :( Now he is screaming about your FAT ASS and a friendly dancer is attempting to stick up for you. Cooler heads prevail and you make it to the bar. Almost needless to say you are still a little upset about the FAT ASS comments. As you start to sit down the bartender makes a point of saying in a boomlet of a voice the DJ is right you do have a FAT ASS! You say well, I don't think having a FAR ASS is that horrible. The bartender then starts making FAT ASS jokes occasionally pointing at you. Another nice dancer intervenes and finally is able to get the bartender away from talking about FAT ASSes.
Things now appear to be back on track. Dancers being friendly. Customers being friendly. And, you remember why you like the club so much. The dancers are super hot and seem to love to give you fantastic mileage. The prices are excellent and more importantly it is what you can afford.
On your way out you say hi to the manager and he greets you warmly. You tell him about the harsh comments concerning your FAT ASS. He says well, I've seen a lot worse. Maybe you should go to a club where the other customers have FAT ASSes?
The above is fictional, but represents a simulation of sorts.
*I* would want to keep going to the club (after a brief layoff) if possible because imo the benefits outweigh the negatives and besides it was just a very few impolite people causing the unpleasantness. Yes, I didn't enjoy that one visit too much. But, in the past I've been very happy and maybe in the future I wont hear comments about my FAT ASS. Under the circumstances I *would have* thought most people would still want to keep going to the club--just to see if things improve if nothing else.
So do the harsh comments of a tiny minority cause you to STOP going to a club that has so many benefits?
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27 comments
But dirty aquariums? Have you NO standards, man! I'd leave and never look back!
Criminy!
O.
I was surprised by posters who, imo, seemed to essentially be saying a few bad apples should cause me not to return to a club that I like. In the short term, I will stay away just so as not to be looking for trouble on the chance passions may still be simmering.
IMO, it is like a dancer rips me off or two dancers rip me off and that means I dump the club? If I liked the club, then I'd *probably* try and take the least confrontational approach assuming 1) it wasn't a large amount involved and 2) I hadn't gotten too angry. With anger I'm apt to be more emotional thinking in terms only of what "I'm certain is right." Other people may actually be certain that they're right especially if emotions are running in high gear.
Anyway, in one of my construction jobs I would have the assignment to deal with unhappy customers and I was considered good at that because the customers could become so abusive. I didn't consider what I was doing as anything special--the customer had no power over me so I could take endless abuse without getting upset and I stayed focused on trying to find an "acceptable" solution. With the club situation, it isn't the same deal at all because situations can get out of hand quickly and there is real risk; I do get angry sometimes overly so. Maybe that is the answer i.e. I'm just use to accepting a high level of abuse so therefore I didn't see what happened at the club as being so bad to cut future business permanently unless forced to do so by the club. Also, in my mind it just didn't add up (leaving permanently) because there are so many positives. It seemed like the other posters just dismissed the positives completely--close friends also seem throw away positives even those who are optimists.
The dirty aquariums make me feel like calling PETA. :( I love the analogy with the newly waxed car. :)
The harsh comments of a vast majority would not stop me from doing what I want to do.
But then, I'm a lawyer.
Interesting opinions. :) (Yes, I happen to like aquariums; especially upper tier.)
The harsh comments may be the equivalent of "Danger, Will Robinson!" The denizens of the strip club like the aliens from outerspace probably don't care about substantive or procedural law as they prepare to carve you like a rib roast or zap you like a bug!!! Of course, one way or another Mr. Robinson always prevailed. :)
In my youth, I might have been crazy enough to attempt to throw him out of his DJ booth or worse. :) Of course, in my youth there wasn't even a paunch. Definitely, wouldn't have spoken to the manager.
Brings to mind this young stripper at my home. She answers her cell phone and suddenly she extends her arm out away from her ear. The sound of a young man was quite loud and raging mad. She is just loving every minute of it. After she hangs up she asks do you have a gun? I say yes and she gives me the thumbs up. She was fairly sure he was going to end up dead or be spending most of his life behind bars. I said don't you care? She shakes her head NO---she ain't the one who is going to be killing him or putting him behind bars so it's not her problem. Besides she loved watching him get so heated up about nothing. I said damn if you were my girl and I was young, then more likely than not I'd be acting even worse. She laughed. :)
In my thirties I had years of counseling and therapy to get rid of the type of temper he had. I'm almost fifty now, but like him I can still do serious damage. Just a few years ago, I came out of work into the parking garage and found some rowdy skateboarders up to no good. They came after me and when I took out two of them in just seconds, the rest took the hint and ran.
So, I'm telling you you're never too old, and you don't have to take bullying from the club DJ. If you feel you're too frail to scare him, here's something my sister did:
She befriended a HUGE former Hell's Angel. A client had come into her office everyday with a derogatory ethnic joke aimed at her. She had Danny come to the office and as the moron started his joke Danny stood up and said:"I have a joke. What lays on the floor groaning and bleeding? The next son of a bitch that tells an ethnic joke in this office."
End of problem.
Yes, I can definitely see where a HUGE Hell's Angel past or present would be very intimidating. :) It is very difficult for me to imagine an 80 year older whupping anyone. Sounds like I needed him. :) Things could have turned out a whole lot worse. I don't know if it was in The Miami Herald or not, but around the end of December there was a stabbing incident over at Angels (old feud) and there was a shooting at Tootsies, which was in paper, so these incidents can get bad.
Sometimes just a little breathing room is all that is needed for things to work out. Or, I can have my gambling stripper's cousin pay a visit to the DJ. ;) Her cousin is for real (with an extensive rap sheet to prove it) and yet he seems like such a sweet person--he doesn't look sweet, btw. It, imo, is more than a little absurd to be fighting over visiting a strip club. Like a police officer told me decades ago: Even if you're 100% in the right sometimes the smartest choice is to walk away----and he was talking about pursuing justice through the courts. I didn't understand him at all at the time---not going to court seemed crazy! The officer was right more than I ever could have believed.
AND, if there are a bunch of clubs like old days along W. Dixie Hwy, then, imo, it doesn't seem like the coward (peace lover) is losing even a little bit. A bad culture at Angels? Heck, just go across the street to Cherry's Lounge, which had a totally different culture. Cherry's ain't your cup of tea? Well maybe Candy Stripers is the place to be? Heck, it was just fun testing out a new club to see what the deal was. Of all the clubs---I can only remember those 3, but there was no shortage of clubs on Dixie with their own cultures.
I really prefer to avoid anything physical or getting that angry. I still have memories of going berserk as a young kid and hearing stories of how I hit the other kids so hard (in self defense) that I knocked out some of their teeth and sent them to the hospital. I don't really want everyone to be afraid of me because I remember as a little kid how that feels. However back then at one time I had no choice because 8 to 10 kids ganged up on me so I wasn't pulling any punches. I only got a chance to hit about half of them, the others ran away too quickly. I think after I was first kicked, I hit 3 or 4 while they were all in the air getting ready to do more kicks or punches. I can move fast while they seem to be in slow motion. What worries me is that it felt good not holding back. However I don't want to go to jail for killing anyone because I hit them that hard now that I'm older and bigger. So I've kept a tight lid on my anger.
I'm relating the following story based on memory of an article or articles in The Miami Herald:
Over at Coco's a (a few blocks east of the RolLexx on NW 119th Street) an older woman (40+-) was being insulted that she was too OLD to be working as a stripper/ho/whatever. The young customers doing the insulting wouldn't back off and I believe club security even intervened (probably tossing the old stripper, but I don't know). Turns out the older woman (40+-) was a mommie and her male children were the real deal. Mother needs some killing done, then there is nothing like keeping it in the family so mom calls one of her sons and tells him to get the gang and administer some justice. So her sons and some friends show and I don't know whether the customers were beaten first or whether they just died in a hail or slight shower of bullets. Anyway, some or all of the offending customers were killed dead to pay for repeatedly insulting remarks that she was too OLD to work as a stripper/ho/whatever.
Mom and her gang of miscreants will be doing life behind bars.
The moral of the story? Well, one moral for me is before complaining to management realize that that could set the issue ablaze. DJ gets fired and his mommie may greet you with crippling or deadly gunfire or perhaps *just* a knife attack. Or, *you* could be arrested. Some clubs do pay protection money to leo so think contrary possibilities.
Anyway, to me the issue was really about customers willingness to ignore ALL the positives due to mistreatment by a minority i.e. the minority gets you to take your business elsewhere. Similarly this ignore ALL the positives seems to be the normal thinking in boyfriend or girlfriend relationships. Girlfriend just doesn't respect boyfriend's time and suddenly it is "kick her to the curb" without really giving heft to all her positives i.e. she is supremely stunning.
As far as someone coming after you, I will go right back after them if I believe I am right and they are wrong. I'll have the law on my side as well if I'm right. Of course long before that time, I would have stopped visiting that club so the easiest course may be to stop visiting a club if you're afraid of the DJ.
I like staying invisible but I'm not afraid to talk to a manager of a club or chain and quietly tell them about their DJ even if the DJ never knows why he was fired. He can get fired for some other reason and never know the real reason. Managers can be clever and hide your identity. Many DJ's are a bit obnoxious anyway so I'd blow it off or not visit if someone had you pissed off.
My experience with a stripper who picked my pocket (true story) was that talking to the manager about the problem in his club worked to my benefit and to the manager's benefit. The dancer didn't even know who turned her in. That was obvious because I ran into her in other clubs and she was friendly to me.
As far as DJ's go, I prefer not to talk to them too much since many seem to think in my opinion that they need to sound outlandish and get attention making fun of things. I don't know how much they get paid but it's probably not a high paying job so they probably overhear a lot of crap about them all the time from customers in a club and never say anything about it. Things like the DJ talks too much, etc, etc. etc. Trying to please everyone in a crowd seems impossible so someone will likely always be upset at the DJ. However if most people are and the club is lot emptier as a result, then the DJ will be the manager's problem.
If someone at a club commited a crime against you, report it and see if anyone gets prosecuted, fined, or fired.
If someone says a stupid remark, ignore it, they could be high on drugs or temporarily insane and it doesn't do much good arguing with an idiot.
I just would generally prefer to avoid confrontation. Yes, I don't always follow that especially when I feel wronged or the chance for escalation seems low. And, not going to the clubs at all is definitely away to avoid confrontation, but for me that is too high a price to pay.
You're right the managment staff is different, at least imo. I don't even know what exactly is going on. The bartender never even asked security for assistance, but instead later asked a "tough" dancer. Even a "wimpy" dancer would probably be tough for me nowadays. So, I kept thinking why isn't she dragging security into it? Maybe security is more interested in keeping dancers happy? Maybe management wants to get rid of whites without leaving too much of a trail? Maybe it is just an aggressive minority or maybe it is personal?
I do know that very minor squabbles can turn bloody or deadly. I'm not sure who would be arrested or convicted for that matter; I don't have *any* faith or belief in the government at this point in my life.
Anyway, the part to me that was interesting is that other customer would definitely dump the club if they're mistreated or management doesn't care. I look at it as more of a question of tradeoffs. If Tootsie's management treats me like a million dollars, then damn yes that would probably make me feel wonderful. However, at $25 a song Tootsie's just has NO VALUE to me. :( IOWs, I'd rather go to a $5 club were management says we don't care if you come or not, it makes NO DIFFERENCE to us. Now, if at the $5 club management says there are too many whites and you have to go, then I'm gone! Gone because I don't think I have much choice---the law regardless of what it says is gutter garbage, ime.
I'd suggest just looking at them, waving around your biggest fattest dollar bill (hope you have a $50 or a $100 hangin' about), and walking out. Silently. Go back a week later and ask what the hell was going on. If it happens again, just abandon them forever. And post about it as a review here at TUSCL.