Not attracted to a stripper who is chatty and won’t just ask if you want a dance

"Any thoughts?"

If you know right away that you're not going to spend on her just politely ask her to move on before she gets comfortable. To some dancers a lack of rejection is going to translate into interest. And then there's also just having pressure as part of their tactics, like those stripper chicks who approach from the back and try to slide into a chair before you can say no.

Your title was misleading. I don't mind chatty dancers at all if I find them attractive. But then I read your post and the issue is really about lack of interest, not her chattiness level.

There comes a point where you have to be direct. If you don't control your space, others will control it for you. If I need to get rid of a girl who won't take a hint, I'll usually say something like: "I appreciate you coming by, but I won't be buying anything soon and i don't want to waste your time. I'd really like to just chill for a while if that's OK." I make sure to smile and look directly in her eyes when I say it, which IME helps drive the point home.

Once a girl truly knows that the well is dry for her, she'll usually leave quickly. Every so often a girl will react poorly to being dismissed, but if I'm not interested in her anyway then why should I care? Every minute that she sits there, she's cock blocking me from someone who I might actually like. The point is to move her along efficiently so that the seat may be occupied by a better candidate.

If you're enjoying her company, keep her by your side. If you're not, cut her loose. But, unless you've invited her to join you, you don't owe her a thing.

Dancers aren't owed money simply because they grace us with their uninvited presence.

And don't victim to her attempting to pull at your guilt strings. She's not a mainstream girl...she's a girl whose livelihood is dependent on her ability to hustle, and guilting guys into tipping is part of their playbook.

I’ve said this before but it really needs to be said again, how can a young girl in her underwear intimidate a supposedly grown ass man?

Grow a set. You are in charge. At least you should be.

^ ^^ well said.

Do NOT tip her for her time or to leave. That will motivate her an her junkie friends to come by because they know they'll get something. These girls are going to eat you alive; therefore, stick to online porn until you're able to tell them to take a hike.

re: "... she made me feel like the bad guy."

Most PLs have likely felt this somewhere along the line. In the end though, it's really on you. She can't "make" you feel anything.

Just tell her you enjoyed chatting (paying her for her time, if you want), and that you'd like to meet some others. Or, are waiting for someone. Or, you prefer to sit alone for a bit.

I tend to avoid advising that she'd maybe prefer to walk around to look for others buying dances. Maybe/maybe not. Sometimes girls just wanna plop down, ask for a free drink, and take a load off their stilettos for a spell.

Directness is your friend.

so you gave 20 bucks for the pest to go away, and she guilt tripped you before finally leaving. what are you going to to do if that same comes up to you and does the same shit all over again? cough up another 20?

$20 wasn't good enough for her. Ungrateful b*tch.

I appreciate all the comments, even the harsh ones. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get your head out of your ass. With that being said I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do and I wasn’t intimidated by her. I just didn’t need her attitude once I had the balls to send her on her way. Even through I didn’t really like her, I want to feel liked. I’m able to recognize my character flaws. I guess part of me pays for the experience to feel special, not just for them to get my rocks off.

I do like the idea of “controlling your space” and not looking at strippers as “mainstream girls” and I do need to “grow a set”
I also need to be more calculated and have a good understanding of what I’m looking to get out of my visit. In the past my wants were more fluid based on the environment.
I’ll definitely make some changes on my next trip in order to control my environment. Thanks for the help!

I agree with most of the comments. I don't want to detract from that general sentiment but will throw in that there is a distinction between taking control of the situation and outright being a dick for no reason.

A bit of introductory chit chat is probably good form. No need to cut her off mid sentence of her introduction. But after that first introduction and before the topic changes, it's absolutely fine to tell her something like Rick suggested. I use variations of that all the time, all with the same structure. Thanks/not interested/bye. Delivered with conviction and a smile. I repeat with progressively clearer language in the rare cases where they persist. I also refuse any rejection tip requests.

Tipping for her for time sends a contradictory message to what I think you intended to convey, to me it says you appreciate her chattiness and want to continue and are willing to pay for the privilege. If that's the message she got, I can absolutely see how that lead to confusion when you eventually told her to hit the road without further compensation.

It's common for strippers to claim certain customers as exclusively their's. Different clubs have different levels of dressing room peer pressure for strippers to respect each other's claims on customers. It's a strategy for less successful strippers to sit at somebody's table, even if they make no money. If they can establish a recognized claim on the customer with the other dancers, the customer can end up in a situation where he can only get dances from the stripper whose squatting on him at his table, or none at all.

This is one of the reasons I prefer to stand, and to be the one who asks for dances.

Another strategy is to go to the bathroom, and hope she leaves. Or, you can go up and stage tip, and explain you need rescuing. In one case, I did have to tell her, as politely as possible, that I wasn't interested. She said some not so polite things in response, but she left.

I like to have generic lines ready as "script" statements to say. I guess maybe I'm poor in off-the-cuff social situations. So I try to keep some of these lines handy.

"Sorry but I'm really not interested."

Really, that's the sensible line. You can add, "thanks for coming by" or "thanks anyway" depending on the type of politeness and style you want. Be pro-active about stating it a little too early in the interaction. Of course, if that isn't your cuppatea, below are some serious bullshit lines you might also spin --

"I'm only waiting for a few of my friends to send me a text about whether or not they're coming to the club."

"I just had a few excellent mind-BLOWing dances with Trixie so I'm really not going to be in the mood for a while." (Emphasize "blow" with wink-wink nudge-nudge gestures.)

"I'm actually waiting for my favorite dancer, Minxie, to do her stage set; do you know if she's working tonight, I thought she was working, but now I don't see her. She's so hot. I love her." (Speak as though you genuinely think she will date you civilian-style outside the club. Behave as though you genuinely believe that you're taking Minxie to your Senior Prom. She will wear a puffy-sleeved green satin dress and you will rent a tux and give her a pink carnation after meeting her parents, you hope.)

"I'm sorry, I'm looking for a couple of other dancers."

"I just got here. I might get silly drunk later, in which case you're welcome to try again."

"I didn't bring a lot of cash so I'm not going to be doing any dances." (Her automatic response is, "There's the ATM." She will say this 99% of the time. The other 1% of the time she will quote prices anyway.)

It's never the hot girls or the entertaining girls who do this. It's always the less attractive and kind of boring ones.

I watch the stage, start replying with one word answers, keep looking at my phone. Sometimes I'll excuse myself to the restroom if it's about that time.

While there certainly is truth to a certain code of conduct of dancers not intruding on other dancers' supposed customers, when it comes down to it, dancers will break that code when money begins to head their way.

There are also girls who stay firm on the "no stripper owns a customer" mantra, and may even try to steal a customer if they perceive a stripper is laying claim to a guy....merely to establish her queen bee status.

one time i tried to get a half way decent looking girl to leave by giving her a real low ball offer to have sex no cover. she accepted.

Jascoi - ha!

ROFL @ Jascoi ... I wonder if I personally could muster the chutzpah to be so cynical as to make ridiculously salacious low-ball offers. "So, do you do anal for less than $50? On the main floor? Because if not, then I'm unlikely to have much interest." Could get you thrown out of the club, of course.

At one club which I frequent, there's a super-chatty annoying girl who is above-average (for the club) in looks but definitely does not have an appearance that fits my personal style at all. She has very "stringy" tits, which she keeps bundled way up in a push-up bra and seldom reveals to onlookers. At this club, dances for stage sets aren't topless though for privates they generally are, so she's able to keep them secret. She chats and chats and chats about ridiculous annoying shit, very logorrhea-type verbosity, gets dances that way.

I always intercept her early, "I'm not interested but thanks anyway," at which point (I am not making this up) once she replied, "Oh, you've already seen my tits?"

That’s hilarious Book Guy!

Book Guy...I've been fooled by the push-up bra once recently. I thought this chick would have some nice perky A cups. She took off her bra during a private dance only to reveal the ugliest blown out saggy little skin flaps. I was actually shocked at how unattractive they were, suck because even through she had a few babies the rest of her was tight and smoking hot.

My thoughts...

Never pay a dancer to leave.

You're surrounded by sales people in a club. Just like in any other sales environment, some are more aggressive and cutthroat than others. So, yes, it's on you to know how to deal with the more aggressive dancers.

That dancer who made you feel like a "bad guy" forgot you existed moments after you parted ways. It's okay for you to think of her the same way.

I think it depends about the "pay to leave" part.

I've pretty much ejected a stripper from her seat like the sabertooth tiger dumped Fred Flintstone onto the porch (to make room for a dancer I actually wanted before she got snatched)...so when I pull the ripcord she gets the price of a lapdance to soften the landing.

'She has very "stringy" tits,'


Lol, i never heard of tits being described as stringy but i instantly pictured what they looked like when mentioned. i've seen some stringy tits over the years.

me too.
the pushup bra really works... too well.