Not attracted to a stripper who is chatty and won’t just ask if you want a dance
If you have no intentions of getting a dance and she won’t ask and just keeps chatting with you, what should you do? I don’t want to waste her time but is it really up to the customer to let her know your not getting any dances if she won’t just come out and ask? Not to mention if she sitting with you there’s no chance to get a dance from another girl.
I gave her a $20 and said it was for her time, she didn’t leave, when I finally hinted that it wasn’t going to happen she made me feel like the bad guy. Any thoughts?
I gave her a $20 and said it was for her time, she didn’t leave, when I finally hinted that it wasn’t going to happen she made me feel like the bad guy. Any thoughts?
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If you know right away that you're not going to spend on her just politely ask her to move on before she gets comfortable. To some dancers a lack of rejection is going to translate into interest. And then there's also just having pressure as part of their tactics, like those stripper chicks who approach from the back and try to slide into a chair before you can say no.
There comes a point where you have to be direct. If you don't control your space, others will control it for you. If I need to get rid of a girl who won't take a hint, I'll usually say something like: "I appreciate you coming by, but I won't be buying anything soon and i don't want to waste your time. I'd really like to just chill for a while if that's OK." I make sure to smile and look directly in her eyes when I say it, which IME helps drive the point home.
Once a girl truly knows that the well is dry for her, she'll usually leave quickly. Every so often a girl will react poorly to being dismissed, but if I'm not interested in her anyway then why should I care? Every minute that she sits there, she's cock blocking me from someone who I might actually like. The point is to move her along efficiently so that the seat may be occupied by a better candidate.
Dancers aren't owed money simply because they grace us with their uninvited presence.
Most PLs have likely felt this somewhere along the line. In the end though, it's really on you. She can't "make" you feel anything.
Just tell her you enjoyed chatting (paying her for her time, if you want), and that you'd like to meet some others. Or, are waiting for someone. Or, you prefer to sit alone for a bit.
I tend to avoid advising that she'd maybe prefer to walk around to look for others buying dances. Maybe/maybe not. Sometimes girls just wanna plop down, ask for a free drink, and take a load off their stilettos for a spell.
Directness is your friend.
I do like the idea of “controlling your space” and not looking at strippers as “mainstream girls” and I do need to “grow a set”
I also need to be more calculated and have a good understanding of what I’m looking to get out of my visit. In the past my wants were more fluid based on the environment.
I’ll definitely make some changes on my next trip in order to control my environment. Thanks for the help!
A bit of introductory chit chat is probably good form. No need to cut her off mid sentence of her introduction. But after that first introduction and before the topic changes, it's absolutely fine to tell her something like Rick suggested. I use variations of that all the time, all with the same structure. Thanks/not interested/bye. Delivered with conviction and a smile. I repeat with progressively clearer language in the rare cases where they persist. I also refuse any rejection tip requests.
Tipping for her for time sends a contradictory message to what I think you intended to convey, to me it says you appreciate her chattiness and want to continue and are willing to pay for the privilege. If that's the message she got, I can absolutely see how that lead to confusion when you eventually told her to hit the road without further compensation.
This is one of the reasons I prefer to stand, and to be the one who asks for dances.
Another strategy is to go to the bathroom, and hope she leaves. Or, you can go up and stage tip, and explain you need rescuing. In one case, I did have to tell her, as politely as possible, that I wasn't interested. She said some not so polite things in response, but she left.
"Sorry but I'm really not interested."
Really, that's the sensible line. You can add, "thanks for coming by" or "thanks anyway" depending on the type of politeness and style you want. Be pro-active about stating it a little too early in the interaction. Of course, if that isn't your cuppatea, below are some serious bullshit lines you might also spin --
"I'm only waiting for a few of my friends to send me a text about whether or not they're coming to the club."
"I just had a few excellent mind-BLOWing dances with Trixie so I'm really not going to be in the mood for a while." (Emphasize "blow" with wink-wink nudge-nudge gestures.)
"I'm actually waiting for my favorite dancer, Minxie, to do her stage set; do you know if she's working tonight, I thought she was working, but now I don't see her. She's so hot. I love her." (Speak as though you genuinely think she will date you civilian-style outside the club. Behave as though you genuinely believe that you're taking Minxie to your Senior Prom. She will wear a puffy-sleeved green satin dress and you will rent a tux and give her a pink carnation after meeting her parents, you hope.)
"I'm sorry, I'm looking for a couple of other dancers."
"I just got here. I might get silly drunk later, in which case you're welcome to try again."
"I didn't bring a lot of cash so I'm not going to be doing any dances." (Her automatic response is, "There's the ATM." She will say this 99% of the time. The other 1% of the time she will quote prices anyway.)
I watch the stage, start replying with one word answers, keep looking at my phone. Sometimes I'll excuse myself to the restroom if it's about that time.
There are also girls who stay firm on the "no stripper owns a customer" mantra, and may even try to steal a customer if they perceive a stripper is laying claim to a guy....merely to establish her queen bee status.
At one club which I frequent, there's a super-chatty annoying girl who is above-average (for the club) in looks but definitely does not have an appearance that fits my personal style at all. She has very "stringy" tits, which she keeps bundled way up in a push-up bra and seldom reveals to onlookers. At this club, dances for stage sets aren't topless though for privates they generally are, so she's able to keep them secret. She chats and chats and chats about ridiculous annoying shit, very logorrhea-type verbosity, gets dances that way.
I always intercept her early, "I'm not interested but thanks anyway," at which point (I am not making this up) once she replied, "Oh, you've already seen my tits?"
Never pay a dancer to leave.
You're surrounded by sales people in a club. Just like in any other sales environment, some are more aggressive and cutthroat than others. So, yes, it's on you to know how to deal with the more aggressive dancers.
That dancer who made you feel like a "bad guy" forgot you existed moments after you parted ways. It's okay for you to think of her the same way.
I've pretty much ejected a stripper from her seat like the sabertooth tiger dumped Fred Flintstone onto the porch (to make room for a dancer I actually wanted before she got snatched)...so when I pull the ripcord she gets the price of a lapdance to soften the landing.
Lol, i never heard of tits being described as stringy but i instantly pictured what they looked like when mentioned. i've seen some stringy tits over the years.
the pushup bra really works... too well.