What is your method/calculus when you find a dancer you like and just want to hang at the bar? How much/often are you tipping? Buying drinks? Where do you draw the line?
I'll buy a drink (if under $15), and tip off a $20 every two songs or so.....depends on if she has conversation skills that mesh up with what I'm looking for at the time. If/when the conversation exhausts itself (even after dances), I'll stop tipping and tactfully imply that the tipping is over, but I'd be happy to continue to buy drinks if she sticks around to talk (which they will if it's dead/and they find your conversation entertaining).
A stripper that sits with me, I will buy a drink. I’m probably a PL personified for that but if you’re looking for chat (to see if she’s right for the next step), a drink is an optimal way to get her talking. As far as tipping, depends on the time/night and her. If it’s slow then 5$ here and there will keep her seated. If it’s busy then she’ll likely move on pretty quickly if she thinks no upsell will be happening.
I only sit with dancers who I want to take for dances or VIP. If anyone else approaches me, I politely decline ASAP to not waste their time.
Though I do like to sit and chat with dancers, it's usually not incredibly long conversations. I'm usually asking them about dances within 15 minutes or so. So, I don't tip for that short amount of time assuming that I'm going to pay them a lot more for dances or VIP.
That said, if they say or do something that makes me reconsider dances, then I will tip them for their time.
I can see where sometimes you might want to just hang with someone, have that "human" contact, but remember, these girls are there to make money. Unless it's a really slow night, they're assuming you will eventually want a dance or two. And if it's a slow night, they might REALLY hope you will eventually get a dance. Just hanging with them is fine, but if you have no intention of getting a dance, you should tell them so. Then, if they still want to hang, you don't have to feel bad about keeping them tied up, and you know they like your company rather than your wallet.
FFS, are we taking this question seriously? Looking for a “method” or “calculus” is doing it all fucking wrong. Fact, you’re in a place where girls are working for money. Time is money. There’s a social aspect sure, and buying a drink is nice but it doesn’t pay their bills. Do what you need to do to have fun. That’s your job. If you take up their time, tip them. That’s also your job. It’s not fucking calculus.
I met with a dancer in Detroit a few months ago and chatted with her at the bar because the club wasn’t really conducive to anything else. I made a point of tipping both her and later her friend a $20 every few songs even though all we did was talk. She’s there to make a living and I respect that.
a lot of the USA clubs... buy the drink for the girl and she's gone. doesn't seem to buy any time with her at all. now at my favorite place in mexico... those girls will stay with me and interact as we try to converse (my Spanish is shit) for at least a few minutes, but many will stay for 10 minutes and sometimes even more! I might tip a little bit... a few bucks... depends on the chemistry that's developing.
There are so many different scenarios where you can end up talking to a dancer at the bar that all I can say is it depends on the situation.
There are bars where you grab one of the few empty seats at the bar because you walk in solo but there are more dancers at the bar than customers. In this case, If I happen to talk to one for a short time, I won't necessarily tip. It depends on the time spent and the individual girl.
There are others where I party the night with a girl, and I will probably just get dances. In many cases, the girl will do a little chair dance at the bar and earn a tip along with more party time with more dances before I leave.
I also have times where, I've run into a girl that I've seen months before but have no interest in getting lame dances from again. In that case, if she wants to talk and catch up, I will buy a drink but say that I'm probably good on dances early on. If she stays after that, I don't feel obligated to tip unless it's a rare circumstance with this girl. A lot of times, it takes several times of running into this girl you danced with once but have no further interest, to get them to move on from you.
I hate the MFers who monopolize the hot dancer I have my eye on, chatting away like a some housefrau. Get a life. Go talk to someone who isn’t doing it as a financial transaction. The rest of us are there to get our rocks off.
The reality is, there is no right or wrong answer here.
In general, I don't make a habit out of tipping girls to sit with me. I'll buy a girl a drink or several drinks and or buy her some food. And I'll buy some dances or a room at some point. And I'll likely come back in a week or two and do it again. I'm not gonna count songs or anything like that while we're sitting there. Like others said though, I don't waste the time of a dancer I don't intend to get dances or more with, as soon as I realize I'm not interested in dances I let her know. And I'm not gonna sit with a girl for an hour and then buy one measly dance. If I become disinterested in dances for some reason that isn't her fault, for example a knockout just walked in, I will often times tip in an effort to buy myself a second chance if I see her again. If I become disinterested because of something she said/did, I generally won't give her anything.
If you're looking for advice, I'd say rethink the way you're looking at it. If your goal is to sit and hang out with a stripper, start by going to places where that happens. There are clubs that are known for being lap dance factories and those were the girls are a more personable. Do a little research on here & try to find one of the latter style clubs. Try going at off peak times. Around here, It's much more reasonable to sit and hang out with a stripper during the 7pm-9pm slow period on say a Thursday than it is it from 11pm-1am on a Saturday night. Try getting the strippers number and making arrangements to go see her. I find strippers are often quite agreeable to come in a little early to hang with me. They get a lower house fee, earn brownie points with management, if the place serves decent food can get a free meal, and make a few bucks. I get some time with a fresh, clean dancer at a reasonable price. And if you're into OTC, you establish a rapport & pattern of behavior where you communicate & then meet up, which often eases the way to OTC.
Trying to pay lap dance/room prices to sit at the bar is gonna hurt. When the time comes to do dances/rooms, she's gonna likely have high expectations of compensation. "He gave me $100 to sit with him for 30 minutes, I bet I can get 1000 to let him touch my ass in the room"
Sorry. I dancer/stripper is probably among the person I’d least like to sit around talking to. Sadly, some PL is probably among the last person she would chose to hang out with too.
In Japan they have Hostess Clubs where the PLs pay big bucks for some young girl to engage in “attentive conversation” with them - and sex isn’t even part of the equation!
^ A few SoCal strip clubs are what I call geisha clubs: guys go there not expecting BJ or FS, just attentive convo with a hot girl and maybe a sneaky HJ if they way overpay. Cheetahs in SD is the best example; 4Play somewhat like that; many topless clubs. These are guys seeking “connection” and often self-image bolstering, sorta overlooking that they BUY any attention they get, & that these guys will ignore them in a heartbeat if the $ isn’t there. I prefer the transactional brothel clubs: everyone knows why everyone’s there, so let’s make a deal. But even there you can treat the hooker-stripper respectfully & try to make it light & fun. But you make it FAST: let these girls make their money. That’s “respectfully” 1A. Don’t be a fuckoe, putting them on lockdown all night, esp if you aren’t buying a VIP. Or you end up being that troll who thinks these girls really like him and want to hang out.
What I find ridiculous is many of you so called experienced mongers still get bent out of shape by guys like me who tend to monopolize certain dancers and get the lions share of their time, some of you fellas are quite condescending to think that these girls aren’t fully capable of making they’re own decisions as to who’s worthwhile for them and who isn’t. Most of you guys don’t have any clue about how much money we are or aren’t spending nor do you have any idea of what the relationship between any given dancer and her patrons If you’re not having much success getting with whom you want to hang out with, maybe it’s your own entitled attitude.
^ If you weren’t a jackass, you’d realize IDGAF that you’re a pityful loser, that can’t figure out that I go where I like for my enjoyment, if you’re not having a good time, not my problem.
Flap said "GO TO A CIVIE BAR IF YOU WANT TO JUST SIT AND TALK WITH WOMEN!!!! WTF is up with the SIMPING these days?"
So, I don't *just* want to sit and talk with dancers, but I do enjoy talking with dancers for a while before moving on to dances. That's not "simping". That's going to a social place and being social.
Now, I'd say that the majority of those conversations are 15 minutes to a half hour at most. Depending on the circumstances, it could be considerably less time. But sometimes it's more if I'm enjoying the conversation (and some dancers are good at conversation, which shouldn't surprise anyone). But ultimately, I will take that dancer to VIP, have a different kind of fun, and pay good money for it.
And if how I have my fun and spend my money doesn't work for Captain Pouting PL on the other side of the bar then he can either find another dancer or go fuck himself (God knows it's cheaper...).
Different guys in the club have their fun in different ways and at different paces. Don't tell people that they're having fun wrong. It's shitty.
It is what it is. It’s a drag for the “once a monther” like me to go to a club where all the girls are “monopolized” by some regular PL talking about their cat.
When I become President I’ll sign an executive order day one (!!!!) requiring the girls to circulate at least once an hour !
^ mainly my point, but when you hear a jackass braying about his problems, makes you want to smack him in the ass with a stick. Only stupid people worry about how another spends their money
@ Call.Me.Ishmael that makes perfect sense. Most of us enjoy that. Hell, in the clubs down south I like to smoke a blunt with the dancers (for free). That’s not what I’m referring to. OP makes it sound like he wants to handcuff a dancer for hours and just keep her at the bar talking and acting like a therapy session. If that’s what you want to do, then why not just go to a regular happy hour bar? Or like a hotel bar or rooftop?
In that environment there would be plenty of women there and you are free to talk to any of them and invite them to have a drink and conversation. Why come to a gentleman’s club for that???
@ twentyfive, I couldn’t care less about how you spend your minimum wage earnings. You got super emotional about a comment that wasn’t even directed at you. Keep spending your money on talking to women - it gives me and the women you spend your money on something to laugh about once you leave.
there was about a 6 month period where i would hang with my fave and hog her about 3 hours a visit. buy her a drink or 2, 60 bucks to pop a nut barside, make out sessions, and wherever my hands would just roam all over her entire body. those 6 months were great.
during those visits sure she would talk about everyone: the dancers, bar staff, and the customers. so oh yeah the part where the girls shit talk about the customers is for sure very real. they even have nicknames for their regulars that come and see her on their phone. my fave showed me her phone once. she had nicknames like loser and asshole. mine was baby. yeah i know not my real name but i didn't care. baby is a better nickname than something like loser or cumtard.
Whenever my ATF(TUSCL gridget) and I were in the club at the same time, we were monogamous. She would not dance for anyone else unless they asked my permission. Only 2 ever did. Both were friends of mine.
One time her ex boy friend came in and tried to get her to dump me and go sit with him. She just said "no". So he asked the waitress to send over a drink of her choice to her. She asked the waitress what the most expensive drink was and then ordered it. It was like $25 and it sat there on the table untouched the whole time we were there.
Flap said: "If that’s what you want to do, then why not just go to a regular happy hour bar? Or like a hotel bar or rooftop? In that environment there would be plenty of women there and you are free to talk to any of them and invite them to have a drink and conversation. Why come to a gentleman’s club for that???"
Because in those 'civie' environments, 90% of the young, hot women won't want to do that unless you tick off several boxes in terms of being young, handsome, charismatic, and wealthy. If the age gap can be measured in decades, then the percentage goes up to about 98% unwilling.
Whereas in a strip club, about 90% or greater of the young, hot women are perfectly willing to chat with a guy with the only requirement being money. Strip clubs are a giant, money-driven "Easy Button" for interacting with young, hot women. The nature of that interaction is up to the customer and the dancer. Everyone else can either go find another dancer or go fuck themselves.
I'll go to a hotel bar if I want to talk to a woman who is age and looks appropriate to me. But I don't want that.
Sorry to hear that so many feel like you have to be wealthy to intrigue women. Obviously that doesn’t hurt at all - and opens up the playing field significantly - but it really sounds like a lot of guys need some self-esteem/self-improvement work.
Knowledge of self, confidence, respect, intelligence, wit, etc….
Talk to @shadowcat - He’s got the game all figured out. He and I can school you…. $39.99 a month and in no time you guys will drop that mindset.
years back i was at some nyc watering hole. two girls were sitting among themselves at a table. i approached and said something impressive. impressive enough that one of them bought me a drink and then we all shot the shit for about 2-3 hours.
And again there’s a braying jackass that is here to pick an argument. First go fuck yourself, as we know that’s what you’re really all about. Then when you reply keep in mind you are on ignore, so you’re just braying to the wind.
That is essentially what you said… @Ishmael. You said women outside of an SC won’t want to talk to you unless you check all those boxes. But that’s simply not true. And I never said anyone was having fun “wrong” per se. I just said it’s simpy to feel like the only way one can get an attractive woman to engage in drinks/conversation for longer than 5 minutes is by paying them. That’s it, that’s all.
With that said, I have no issues/qualms with anyone doing that. Have your fun however you want - as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. I know guys that slide into random Instagram girls’ DM and just Cashapp them money to keep sending a few messages back and forth. Hey, do you.
Jesus, some of you make this so hard. It’s supposed to be fun, and it is for me. I’ve been the guy sitting at the bar with the girl for hours. Other times, one drink, one dance, off to VIP, and out in 45 minutes. For those of you that are finding this difficult, I suggest you worry about what you need to do to have fun and not whether others are doing what you would do.
You’re in a crowded mall parking lot. No parking spots. You see a person approaching their parked car to leave. You stop a couple car lengths away and put on your blinker to indicate you’re going to pull in the spot when the other car pulls out. The driver who’s leaving looks right at you before getting in his car and knows your waiting for the spot. He then sits in his car for 1, 2, 3 minutes before pulling out. He’s got a call to make or whatever and doesn’t care about you. You pull away and start looking for another spot. Be assured - other driver is the asshole fucking jerkoff in this scenario. It’s not a matter of “you be worry about yourself and I’ll be worry about me.” And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger!
^ A) what does this have to do with going to a strip club ? B) what if the other driver wasn’t intending to vacate the parking space? you have no right to demand he/she leave on your schedule.
Sorry bro it really isn’t relevant to me what you want, it just not my problem, I’ll enjoy strip clubs my way and you enjoy them your way.
I'm mostly with 25 on this, but I'll add that if I notice someone waiting for my spot and it's not particularly burdensome on me to do so, I'll make some effort to vacate it in a reasonable time frame. And I'm appreciative of those who reciprocate, but I don't get all worked up if the guy decides to sit there and make a few phone calls or whatever. I'd rather him sit there and do that than try to do it while driving and swerving all over the road, running stop lights and signs or otherwise being a menace.
There's a balance between appropriately putting your needs first and making some minor concessions to show common courtesy towards your fellow man. To quote the wise George Costanza "We're living in a society, you know!"
Sure... I see the direct correlation between parking at the mall and going to a social place to have expensive fun.
If I'm paying for expensive fun with a hot stripper, then it's going to be the fun I want (in or out of the dance areas). And as long as the dancer is also on board, then everyone else is irrelavant.
I've been the guy who realized that his top-choice dancer is locked down. The other guy got there before me. That's how it works. Of course I don't love it, but I also don't pout.
I go find another dancer. That's why there's more than one dancer.
^The guys occupying all the stalls at the airport bathroom with their laptops on their laps, waiting for their flight to board, when I got to take a ferocious dump. “They should be fuckin’ killed man. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.” Sorry, I watch pulp fiction last night.
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As far as tipping, depends on the time/night and her. If it’s slow then 5$ here and there will keep her seated. If it’s busy then she’ll likely move on pretty quickly if she thinks no upsell will be happening.
Though I do like to sit and chat with dancers, it's usually not incredibly long conversations. I'm usually asking them about dances within 15 minutes or so. So, I don't tip for that short amount of time assuming that I'm going to pay them a lot more for dances or VIP.
That said, if they say or do something that makes me reconsider dances, then I will tip them for their time.
now at my favorite place in mexico... those girls will stay with me and interact as we try to converse (my Spanish is shit) for at least a few minutes, but many will stay for 10 minutes and sometimes even more! I might tip a little bit... a few bucks... depends on the chemistry that's developing.
There are bars where you grab one of the few empty seats at the bar because you walk in solo but there are more dancers at the bar than customers. In this case, If I happen to talk to one for a short time, I won't necessarily tip. It depends on the time spent and the individual girl.
There are others where I party the night with a girl, and I will probably just get dances. In many cases, the girl will do a little chair dance at the bar and earn a tip along with more party time with more dances before I leave.
I also have times where, I've run into a girl that I've seen months before but have no interest in getting lame dances from again. In that case, if she wants to talk and catch up, I will buy a drink but say that I'm probably good on dances early on. If she stays after that, I don't feel obligated to tip unless it's a rare circumstance with this girl. A lot of times, it takes several times of running into this girl you danced with once but have no further interest, to get them to move on from you.
In general, I don't make a habit out of tipping girls to sit with me. I'll buy a girl a drink or several drinks and or buy her some food. And I'll buy some dances or a room at some point. And I'll likely come back in a week or two and do it again. I'm not gonna count songs or anything like that while we're sitting there. Like others said though, I don't waste the time of a dancer I don't intend to get dances or more with, as soon as I realize I'm not interested in dances I let her know. And I'm not gonna sit with a girl for an hour and then buy one measly dance. If I become disinterested in dances for some reason that isn't her fault, for example a knockout just walked in, I will often times tip in an effort to buy myself a second chance if I see her again. If I become disinterested because of something she said/did, I generally won't give her anything.
If you're looking for advice, I'd say rethink the way you're looking at it. If your goal is to sit and hang out with a stripper, start by going to places where that happens. There are clubs that are known for being lap dance factories and those were the girls are a more personable. Do a little research on here & try to find one of the latter style clubs. Try going at off peak times. Around here, It's much more reasonable to sit and hang out with a stripper during the 7pm-9pm slow period on say a Thursday than it is it from 11pm-1am on a Saturday night. Try getting the strippers number and making arrangements to go see her. I find strippers are often quite agreeable to come in a little early to hang with me. They get a lower house fee, earn brownie points with management, if the place serves decent food can get a free meal, and make a few bucks. I get some time with a fresh, clean dancer at a reasonable price. And if you're into OTC, you establish a rapport & pattern of behavior where you communicate & then meet up, which often eases the way to OTC.
Trying to pay lap dance/room prices to sit at the bar is gonna hurt. When the time comes to do dances/rooms, she's gonna likely have high expectations of compensation. "He gave me $100 to sit with him for 30 minutes, I bet I can get 1000 to let him touch my ass in the room"
Sadly, some PL is probably among the last person she would chose to hang out with too.
Sorry, I don’t fucking get it.
I prefer the transactional brothel clubs: everyone knows why everyone’s there, so let’s make a deal. But even there you can treat the hooker-stripper respectfully & try to make it light & fun.
But you make it FAST: let these girls make their money. That’s “respectfully” 1A. Don’t be a fuckoe, putting them on lockdown all night, esp if you aren’t buying a VIP. Or you end up being that troll who thinks these girls really like him and want to hang out.
WTF is up with the SIMPING these days?? And you wonder why you can’t pull anything above a 4.
So, I don't *just* want to sit and talk with dancers, but I do enjoy talking with dancers for a while before moving on to dances. That's not "simping". That's going to a social place and being social.
Now, I'd say that the majority of those conversations are 15 minutes to a half hour at most. Depending on the circumstances, it could be considerably less time. But sometimes it's more if I'm enjoying the conversation (and some dancers are good at conversation, which shouldn't surprise anyone). But ultimately, I will take that dancer to VIP, have a different kind of fun, and pay good money for it.
And if how I have my fun and spend my money doesn't work for Captain Pouting PL on the other side of the bar then he can either find another dancer or go fuck himself (God knows it's cheaper...).
Different guys in the club have their fun in different ways and at different paces. Don't tell people that they're having fun wrong. It's shitty.
It’s a drag for the “once a monther” like me to go to a club where all the girls are “monopolized” by some regular PL talking about their cat.
When I become President I’ll sign an executive order day one (!!!!) requiring the girls to circulate at least once an hour !
Only stupid people worry about how another spends their money
In that environment there would be plenty of women there and you are free to talk to any of them and invite them to have a drink and conversation. Why come to a gentleman’s club for that???
during those visits sure she would talk about everyone: the dancers, bar staff, and the customers. so oh yeah the part where the girls shit talk about the customers is for sure very real. they even have nicknames for their regulars that come and see her on their phone. my fave showed me her phone once. she had nicknames like loser and asshole. mine was baby. yeah i know not my real name but i didn't care. baby is a better nickname than something like loser or cumtard.
One time her ex boy friend came in and tried to get her to dump me and go sit with him. She just said "no". So he asked the waitress to send over a drink of her choice to her. She asked the waitress what the most expensive drink was and then ordered it. It was like $25 and it sat there on the table untouched the whole time we were there.
Because in those 'civie' environments, 90% of the young, hot women won't want to do that unless you tick off several boxes in terms of being young, handsome, charismatic, and wealthy. If the age gap can be measured in decades, then the percentage goes up to about 98% unwilling.
Whereas in a strip club, about 90% or greater of the young, hot women are perfectly willing to chat with a guy with the only requirement being money. Strip clubs are a giant, money-driven "Easy Button" for interacting with young, hot women. The nature of that interaction is up to the customer and the dancer. Everyone else can either go find another dancer or go fuck themselves.
I'll go to a hotel bar if I want to talk to a woman who is age and looks appropriate to me. But I don't want that.
Hence.... titty bar.
Sorry to hear that so many feel like you have to be wealthy to intrigue women. Obviously that doesn’t hurt at all - and opens up the playing field significantly - but it really sounds like a lot of guys need some self-esteem/self-improvement work.
Knowledge of self, confidence, respect, intelligence, wit, etc….
Talk to @shadowcat - He’s got the game all figured out. He and I can school you…. $39.99 a month and in no time you guys will drop that mindset.
Each guy gets to decide what kind of fun they want to have in a strip club. Everyone else gets to mind their own business.
Don't tell people that they're having fun wrong. It's shitty.
years back i was at some nyc watering hole. two girls were sitting among themselves at a table. i approached and said something impressive. impressive enough that one of them bought me a drink and then we all shot the shit for about 2-3 hours.
First go fuck yourself, as we know that’s what you’re really all about.
Then when you reply keep in mind you are on ignore, so you’re just braying to the wind.
With that said, I have no issues/qualms with anyone doing that. Have your fun however you want - as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. I know guys that slide into random Instagram girls’ DM and just Cashapp them money to keep sending a few messages back and forth. Hey, do you.
Be assured - other driver is the asshole fucking jerkoff in this scenario. It’s not a matter of “you be worry about yourself and I’ll be worry about me.”
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger!
A) what does this have to do with going to a strip club ?
B) what if the other driver wasn’t intending to vacate the parking space? you have no right to demand he/she leave on your schedule.
Sorry bro it really isn’t relevant to me what you want, it just not my problem, I’ll enjoy strip clubs my way and you enjoy them your way.
There's a balance between appropriately putting your needs first and making some minor concessions to show common courtesy towards your fellow man. To quote the wise George Costanza "We're living in a society, you know!"
If I'm paying for expensive fun with a hot stripper, then it's going to be the fun I want (in or out of the dance areas). And as long as the dancer is also on board, then everyone else is irrelavant.
I've been the guy who realized that his top-choice dancer is locked down. The other guy got there before me. That's how it works. Of course I don't love it, but I also don't pout.
I go find another dancer. That's why there's more than one dancer.
“They should be fuckin’ killed man. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.”
Sorry, I watch pulp fiction last night.