New to this hobby - have some beginner questions

1. Yea, pretty much expected to tip the performer if you're stage-side. How much? ehh, not such a clear answer. I've tipped $2 for a 3-song set and felt like it was enough because there were a lot of guys there tipping and keeping her occupied. I've tipped closer to $10 and felt cheap cause I was the only one there & she was hot & enthusiastic.

2. Depends on your preferences and the area/club norms, and often the girl herself. If you can't wait a few minutes and watch others first, hold out your tip and see how she reacts. If she dances in front of you but doesn't come close enough to slip a tip in her g-string, she probably doesn't want to be touched. If she approaches and sticks out her hip or thigh where her garter is, makes a little bowl with her tits, pulls her g-string out a bit to make room for you to slide a tip in, or some other similar move, she's probably expecting some physical contact.

3. Again, depends on the scenario. If you're gonna buy a single lap dance at $25, don't sit and talk to the girl for an hour first. Especially if the club is busy and her opportunity cost is high. But if you're likely to drop a couple hundred on dances or a room, and she's willing to sit with you, take as long as you like. Again, especially true if the club is basically empty and shes not losing money sitting with you. IMO, as long as your conscious of the concept that's she's working and not your girlfriend, then you're usually fine.

4. IMO - it's rude to keep her engaged after you've decided you're not gonna get a dance. At the same time, if she slow rolls her pitch and fails to make a sale after an extended period, that's on her and just part of the job no sales work has 100% success rate. You don't owe her a thing. If you feel better giving her a consolation prize, that's fine. Keep in mind that some girls specifically target those rejection tips and you'll see yourself being approached by bottom tier girls hoping to get a few bucks from you if you make a habit of it.

5. Tips are fucking optional. I tip based on how well the dance or room went. If she did the bare minimum, I'm not tipping shit. If she did average, I usually "round up" to the nearest $20. So, if I owe her $50 I'd give her 60. That stops working with higher numbers, but usually if we're doing more than a few dances its because she's doing a good job and I'll tip heavier.

6. Yes, that's common. It's not common for customers to get dances from the same girl twice. Not unheard of, but not common. You can ask her to return, if you say something like "if you get bored" she's gonna take that to mean you just want to sit and talk for free and not come back. If you want more dances later, tell her that.

7. Running theme - depends on the situation. Most girls are ready to move on once you've paid them. But, in a situation where return business is on the table, the rules change. If you're interested in seeing her again, invite her back to sit with you. Offer her a drink or something. Talk about coming back, what's her schedule, etc. She almost certainly doesn't "want" to sit and have pillow talk and cuddle after. But she'll probably spend some more time with you if it'll get her return business. Some girls won't care about return business, they work sporadically, don't like regulars, whatever. But some will.

8. If you can't tell if its okay to at least ask after a couple dances or reading some reviews on here, then don't ever bring it up. Ideally you know what you're getting into before you get to the club and you can just ask if that's what you want. I've never had an issue bringing it up. I've had plenty of girls say no, they don't do that. A few get a little offended. Just don't be a dick about it and take no for an answer if that's what it is.

9. After you've done it enough, you'll be able to answer this question on your own. In the meantime, don't try to get extras in a clean club. You'll just get labeled as a creep. But, in my experience it's pretty common for there to be at least some girls who are willing to see customers OTC in the cleanest of clubs. But discretion is key.

10. Usually, no, no yes. I'll tip the parking guy, the door girl, and bathroom guy regularly. The manager/security rarely to occasionally.

11. I go alone regularly. Look around the club, most guys go alone.

Hey thanks a ton for the detail. Most of this is what I assumed, but it's good to know I was on the right track.

For point #4, you mentioned her "pitch". I have yet to encounter a girl who is really trying to sell her services, or even offer a dance before I ask. They usually just sit down and talk with me for a bit until I ask them for a dance. I'm thinking I might be jumping the gun by asking before they have time to offer it themselves. I'm sure this is subjective too, but will a girl usually ask if you want a dance after a certain amount of time, or should I be the one to initiate?

Really this is all about maximizing the value of going. I can only afford go so many times per year, so I want to make sure I'm getting the most out of the experience. I enjoy sitting and talking with the girls almost as much as getting dances - and one is much cheaper than the other.

If part of what you like in the strip club experience is talking with dancers then I'd strongly suggest going on slower nights or maybe during the day. If the place isn't busy she's going to be more willing to sit and talk. Whatever you do, don't be a dick and lead her on. Once you've decided that you don't want to get a dance let her know, either verbally or at least with body language. She's not there to be your girlfriend.

Excellent advice by Dolfan. The only thing that I have to add is that when getting floor or VIP dances, tell the dancer that she has nice hair and eyes during the first dance. Dancers spend a lot of time on their hair and eyes. During the second dance, tell her that she gives great dances and mention that she probably also gives good massages. If she doesn't respond, drop the subject. If she tells you that she also gives great Full Body Massages, then that is Dancer Code that you can probably have fun inside or outside the Club with her.

^Ahh, yes--the secret Dancer Code.

I don't think our answers to your questions would be consistent. You'll have to ultimately work out your own answers.

Main thing, strippers are not some alien race, they're about as good or bad as people in general. It's not somehow easy for them, unlike other women, to lap dance. They are motivated to take it on by unusual circumstances (usually not good ones). And generally because they're braver. I'm the opposite of a hunk, so women never saw me as hook up material. Only selfish, manipulative, drama-seeking women were ever interested in me. I'm affectionate with strippers, because it's the only form of "dating" that I've ever actually enjoyed. Because I'm affectionate, but not needy, and I'm decent money, I don't have much trouble finding favs. I don't have any tricks or formulas. If you become a regular, and pay attention to the cues she gives you, that's how you find out how she (individually) wants you to behave towards her. It won't be consistent, from one dancer to the next.

I've never gotten extras. Been offered them, so I've never understood why people think it makes sense to ask.

It would be really NICE if this site had a House Mom to answer these SPICEy questions.

I think you are overthinking most of these issues, but kudos for wanting to be well informed and prepared. Keep in mind that club norms vary dramatically by geography, and even within the same city.

If you don’t want a dance, say so immediately. It is not rude, it is appreciated.

If you want to be entertained by the girls on stage, yes, please tip them.

I will talk for 3ish songs, if you don’t want a dance I’m leaving, that’s pretty standard for most girls. If you are someone who regularly spends money on me I’m happy to take my time to talk with you. If you want to talk, you are keeping me from making money from someone else so unless it’s dead ITC, $10 is really not a tip that I would stay long for.

If you want someone to give you dances, COMMUNICATE. If she already danced for you and you want her to come back, TELL HER. If you are interested in someone who is not coming over to you, get her attention. Communicate. Very easy. 👍

If I don't want a dance, I say "I'm just here to watch the stage show" as early as possible in the conversation. Not true, but it's taken as polite (respecting their time), especially if you say it with a friendly smile.

Some strippers are introverted, and/or not as good at making conversation with someone they don't have a lot in common with. So, don't take it personally if they quickly jump to asking you if you want a dance. I will often approach strippers who don't approach me. But strippers pick and choose us, just like we pick and choose them, so you have to look for cues that you haven't been picked.

Yeah, don’t overthink broski. And don’t tip for conversation. If you are an interesting person and the young lady enjoys the convo (sincerely), then you don’t have to beg or bribe them to come back and talk to you. Don’t try to handcuff them - realize that they are there making a living. But at the same time, don’t simp out and start paying for conversation. And don’t become anyone’s “regular”. Go, have fun, play the field and interact with several of the young ladies. And don’t go overboard with chasing women in the club. Outside, men usually do the chasing. The beauty of the club is that most men get the experience of being approached and chased.

Don’t be pressured into tipping. Pay whatever the agreed upon prices are. ONLY TIP WHEN SERVICE RENDERED JUSTIFIES A TIP. This is your hard-earned money - don’t give it away. Don’t fall for the lies, bs, etc. Realize that some of these women will lie and try to finesse you out of your money and then laugh at you with their dancer friends in the locker room. It’s game. But treat them all respectfully - and respect yourself as well.

@ilbbaicnl
Your comments kind of bummed me out. It’s sad to hear that you look to strippers to satisfy your need for affection. Not judging - just felling bad for you. Everyone deserves to be loved by someone who’s not a selfish, manipulative, drama-seeking woman.

"Everyone deserves to be loved by someone who’s not a selfish, manipulative, drama-seeking woman."

^ why do you think so many married guys go to strip clubs?