Pant recommendations

This is the best place to look.

letmegooglethat.com

Lv trousers that I have tailored to accommodate my depends

Hmmm ... that usually works better. I wonder if LMGTFY has a site filter in place. Let's try this:

www.google.com

Fabletics and Vuori make something that sound like what you want. I just wear Golf/Polo shorts though.

Per ChatGPT

The perfect pants with cargo pockets for when someone sits on your lap should be comfortable and functional. Here are some features to consider:

Comfortable fabric: Look for pants made from soft and stretchy material that allows you to move comfortably. A blend of cotton and spandex or a similar stretchy material could be a good choice.  


Cargo pockets: Choose pants with cargo pockets that are positioned towards the sides of your legs rather than the front. This will allow the person sitting on your lap to sit comfortably without being impeded by the pockets.  


Flaps or zippers: Cargo pockets with flaps or zippers will keep your items secure and prevent them from falling out when someone sits on your lap. Make sure the flaps or zippers are easy to open and close.  


Reinforced seams: Reinforced seams on the pockets will ensure that they do not tear or rip when you sit with someone on your lap.  


Dark color: Choosing a dark color for your pants can help to hide any potential stains or marks that may occur when someone sits on your lap.  

Overall, the perfect pants with cargo pockets for when someone sits on your lap should be comfortable, functional, and able to withstand the pressure and movement that may come with having someone sit on your lap.

I have been wearing golf pants - that resemble black dress trousers - to clubs.

When I’m in my office, I usually wear dark wool dress trousers, and the golf pants aren’t too noticeable (when I wear them to make a club stop on my drive home).

I’ve not gotten any complaints from the dancers. The fabric is machine washable, and comfortable, and it’s likely water repellent. I am not sure about whether it’s jizz-proof.

They don’t have cargo pockets or zipper pockets, but the back button pockets are useful.

I recommend that you wear pants

^ Initially, yes. Eventually, maybe not so much.