Dancer confiding in you she's about to get evicted, what would you do?

Sounds like a scam to me. If it wasn't, then being out on the street is a great place to begin a career in prostitution. Either way not your problem.

From a dancer standpoint...sounds like a scam. Now, if you were a regular in the club she worked at, and she was comfortable and familiar enough with you to share something like that, maybe not...but the first meeting? Doubtful

Just tell her that you hope everything works out, and find a new fav asap.

I'm in a professional services business. For me, time=money. But when I sell work, if I even imply to a client the reason they should hire us is that our business is bad, it's a deal breaker (besides, it's a poor way to convince them we are really good at what we do). When I'm in a club, the sob stories don't work for me. My girlfriend, prefers the direct approach from panhandlers rather than the sob stories. I like the creativity, but I never believe them. Why not just say, "Hey man, can you spare a buck? I wanna buy some beer." I might not fork over the dough, but at least I will leave thinking, now there's an honest drunk.

However, I'm sure the contrary point of view among some dancers is that a bunch of men can be manipulated by sob stories and other sorts of lies, and that approach improves the cash flow. I just can't see it as a long term recipe for fulfilling life's aspirations and enjoying life after 40.

It wwouldn't matter to me whether I thought it was true or not. In either case my response would be the same - "Gee I wish I could help you out but I don't have much money with me." Which would be true by the way, I never take much with me into a club. If I liked her I'd probably buy dances from her until I ran out, but that would be it.

I've heard that one before: Sounds like she wanted you to pay her money for sex.

With a very few exceptions (3) nothing. They always find a way to make out.

I don't see anyway a girl working in a strip club cannot pay the rent. In even the smallest clubs almost any dancer should clear a minimum of $200 per day. If she puts in 5 days a week, for 4 weeks thats 4000 a month, surely enough for rent and a lot more. Unless she is a heavy drug user this is obviously a scam. If she is in fact spending the rent money on drugs I don't feel any obligation to contribute to that addiction.

Casualguy, I look at it this way. I don't panhandle or tell people my sob stories for my own personal gain, even if the sob storey is true. So, the last thing I want to hear from a dancer, a panhandler or anyone else is thier sob storey.
This may sound calloused but, maybe the "sob story" tellers should plan ahead better and prevent that situation from happening in the first place. That is, of course, if thier storey is a true one.
Either way, I don't care.

Pretty much what I did was nothing except let her talk. I didn't ask her what she had been spending her money on to get in that situation or ask any other questions about it.

Actually, I personally don't tell anyone my sob stories ever. Even if I have them. I learned as a late adolescent and/or young adult that whining about life doesn't really work to get you sympathy, or better help from other people, or any other type of service you might actually think you want, and often is just lying to yourself anyway.

Sometimes on line I still whine, and I'm kind of up in the air about whether or not that's a good plan. I still do it because I "get started and can't help myself," and then after the fact sometimes I realize, "Hmm, I shoulda just sucked it up and accepted responsibility for my own disasters." But sometimes I think, "No, online it's fine to whine. That's your therapy, you're allowed a little indulgence, as long as you realize it's not reality. The 'talking cure' might be useful." So, I don't know exactly where I stand about whether or not online is a good place to air grievances in a self-pitying manner.

But I do know, that because I do air grievances online, therefore my online and offline selves are rather different. I really do believe in finding out what you can do differently next time and going ahead and doing it. You need to think about "what I did wrong" and also "what other people did wrong TO me," but you need to just think about it in terms of identifying the culprit(s), learning from the experience, and then getting a better result next time.

Doesn't sound to me like that's what's going on here at all. She'll do it again. So will he.

Many years ago, when I was first starting out in business, a client gave me a piece of advice: "successful people like doing business with other successful people". In other words, always project an image of success, no matter what.

It works just as well for dancers. If I'm sitting with a dancer who's happy with her life, maybe she's in school or just happy partying or whatever, it makes *me* feel good too... her success creates a positive vibe I pick up on, I enjoy her company, and she makes more money. The converse, some loser complaining about her fucked-up life, worthless boyfriend, financial woes or whatever is just a huge turnoff.

So what would I say if she said she was being evicted? "Wow, that sucks. Well, I don't want to keep you then, guess you better make the rounds and try to get some dances." Then I'd find a girl who's having fun. Pretty simple.

O.

Winners attract other winners. Perhaps by unaware accident, perhaps by choice, but the attraction and the eventual motion toward one another happens none the less.

Losers don't NECESSARILY attract losers; but given that the winners are pro-actively (though maybe not deliberately) moving toward one another, what's left is a sea of unattached losers looking for attachment to someone that's available ...

I wouldn't call it "confiding in you" since she no doubt tells the same sob story to every guy she tries to hustle.