Have you experienced this too?

Yep! My was "triggered" by a stale marriage and the close deaths of my parents, 2 uncles and an aunt. I used to go to SC's only on business trips and it amounted to maybe 2-3 times a year. How its maybe once a month.

Loneliness, depression ... they're endemic to strip clubs. Very sorry you experienced those things. I'm experiencing them too. All my life I've been "unwanted" by the two groups that really can make or break your whole life: friends (including of the attractive sexually alluring sort) and employers. I go to strip clubs instead. :(

FONDL,

Fairly similar. I would say my visits were a bit more frequent in the beginning, but when I met a certain woman at one club, that club became an always weekly club and often two or three times a week. When I was out of town, I would visit lots of clubs and always used TUSCL as a guide. At one point, as I recall, I was in the top five reviewers.

A large majority of my SC experiences have been while on the road traveling for business. At my peak, I would visit 1-2 clubs in every town I visited. I also used to visit some local clubs in ATL during the day while working. At one time, for about a year or so, I was the #1 reviewer on this site. Now I limit my visits to specific clubs in specific cities. It is easier on the pocketbook, and I can almost guarantee the type of experience I am going to have when I visit these clubs.

I would dabble at SCs when I was married, but just for the excitement of seeing young beautiful girls, and didn't even think of the mileage or extras thing.

However, about 6 months after my wife passed in 2004, I was still experiencing depression, lonliness, and grief. I found SCs to help, especially in the lonliness area. I would also use SCs as a sexual outlet, only because I didn't want to get emotionally attached to another woman, and I still feel that way today. Don't get me wrong, I date women, but emtionally keep them afar.

This is probably how I got to No. 1 on the TUSCL charts. I started REALLY enjoying the SCs and playfulness of young, middle-aged HOT dancers and felt safe from the emotional attachment. I'm adDICKed and probably will be so until I become <bug bait>! LOL

BTW, I absolutely have no quams about any other TUSCLer exceeding my TUSCL stats. Have at it! LOL

Although I have been visiting clubs since the early 1980's, it used to be a rare treat for me to visit a club. Since there are no decent clubs in my immediate area, I would just go out a few times during the summer months when the driving was good. (I live in the Great Lakes Snow Belt).

Then in the late 90's, I "discovered" Tampa and all what it had to offer. Since I thought no club could match the Tampa experience, I just limited myself to flying down to Tampa 3 or 4 times per year. But in 2001, I returned to school to work on my graduate degree (part-time) and was so busy, I never set foot in a club until graduating in the summer of 2006. But for past 18 months, I tried to make up for lost time - I have hit various clubs at least every other weekend. Gotta slow down sometime! Why I have been clubbing so much? I guess a little depression is part of it - I expected a new, better paying job when I got my Master's, but it never happened. Oh well....live goes on.

oops, ** life ** not live

For me, clubs come at times in my life when I don't have other responsibilities or diversions. If I'm in one of those phases where I'm not working out, don't have a lot of friends in the city where I live, have too much work to do so that I can't organize "better" social outlets and therefore just fall back on the "easiest" thing to organize at the last minute -- then I drive to a strip club. If I'm packing my social schedule with interesting people, lots of productive after-work activities, and I have a decent enough workplace that I get to leave by 6 on a weeknight about 50% of the time or better, then I'm fading out of strip club interest and likely to do something more mainstream. All depends, as well, on the quality of the club and the in-club experience, relative to what I can get in the rest of the city. There's really been no phase of my life when I faded out of interest in getting extras SOMEWHERE ...

After reading everyone's comments above I am relieved to know that I am not the only one of us who goes to stripclubs at least partially because of loneliness and depression. I appreciate the honesty of most everyone on this site and often think of our discussions as a form of group therapy. I would especially like to recognize BookGuy for his complete openness and honesty in every remark he makes. Such candor is hard for me and contributions like his and others will, I think, prove helpful to all of us.

I totally agree with you 'snowtime'. I also can see group therapy in certain discussions. Although I usually have to pop a No-Doze tablet before reading BG's lengthy threads, I do enjoy them and his honesty. I suppose if I kept off the "adult" websites awhile, I might get over my sleep deprivation problem! LOL

A special thanks to FONDL for opening this topic up and thanks to everyone who posted a thread. One of the more interesting discussion topics. Keep 'er UP & get 'er DONE!

I've been going to strip clubs on and off for about 20 years now. I never had much money when I first started going...so I didn't get many LDs. There was a dry spell in my SCing after I had moved around a bit between school and work. Now in the last 3-4 years I've increased my SC trips to at least once per month on average (mostly depending on my schedule or the weather). For a little over a year, I was going to one club nearby me at least once a week...with a max of maybe 3-4 times/week every now and again, but that was to see and hang out with an ex-ATF of mine. I like the "horny" adventure aspect of going to new clubs and seeing what can be seen and had there. Sharing the info gained can be fun too. :)

I used to live in a tiny little town near a military base. Strip clubs were most of the clubs available. Then I was trying to get a new job and move and getting involved with someone was the last thing I wanted to do if I was planning on moving as soon as I found a new job. Little did I know, I would soon start going out with dancers. I did move and the last dancer I was friendly with looked very sad. However I think I was addicted to strip clubs by then. It didn't help when one club kept giving me free admission passes to visit and then they had free pizza. They did that for months. A dancer at that club actually invited me out. Never really did get too involved with her but she didn't try charging me money or most of that stripper shit some dancers may try to pull over on someone. She treated me like one of her friends, most of the time.

I used to go to strip clubs 2 or 3 times a week. Free pizza, lots of friendly dancers. I wasn't getting extras unless you call feeling a girls tits as an extra. At that younger age, I could get aroused just sitting back, relaxing, and watching the girls walk around a strip club. Then they want to dance for you. I loved it. It seemed like I saw a whole lot more prettier girls working the clubs back then than I do now in general. Back then it seemed like some clubs were full of nothing but 9 and 10's. Now, I'm lucky to see a 9 or 10 in the whole club. I think strip clubs were more of a stress reliever to me than anything else back then. I had a very stressful job. Now it seems like the easiest way to have fun.

As far as feely lonely, if you visit a regular club first, and you don't see any girls who interest you, going to a strip club and having lots of girls flock to you is always a nice sight to see. Unless they are big and a fuugly. Eewww. I didn't use to see dancers in strip clubs who actually repulsed me before. They need to stay home or work at Walmart, Kmart or somewhere else. Fortunately most dancers still look attractive when they are naked. I say eewww to those who gross you out the more they take off.

"It seemed like I saw a whole lot more prettier girls working the clubs back then than I do now in general"

casualguy: I have to agree with you 100 percent on that statement. I probably wouldn't go to my favorite club if my ATF wasn't there. There are a few hot girls, but the ordinary ones out-number the pretty ones. I often think to myself - has the quality of the girls really declined, or I have just become too accustomed to a room full of pretty, naked girls? It seems like the quality has indeed declined, but I can't say for sure.

You have a valid point casualguy. I seldom see 'nines' and 'dimes' in SCs anymore. And my expectations aren't high on my rating scale either. I rate dancers as I see them (senior citizen), not as a 21 year old might. Those GROSS dancers started dancing AFTER Wal-Mar turned them down, unfortunately!

"They need to stay home or work at Walmart, Kmart"

What I still don't get is the big egos of that these 6 or lower girls often have. Lets assume certain guys go for these type girls, fine OK, however there simply is no shortage of these type women in the world. I believe dancers should (at some level) be some variation of a showgirl, not necessarily Vegas level of course, but just have some plausbility they could be a Showgirl, and that generally includes 8 level and up, and some 7's often times. I would love to know how many applicants a typical clubs gets - apparently not many these days.

Well, what started as a nice therapy thread, turned into a commentary on declining beauty. No problem, I have opinions on both.

I started going to clubs 20 or so years ago, only a few times year when I traveled. Then, about 10 years ago, my marriage started on a slow trajectory downward. My father in-law got chronically ill and steadily declined, he died, and then my wife's sister died after a one-year battle with cancer. My wife withdrew and 5 years of cajoling could not get her out of her funk. I was lonely and craving female companionship. My clubbing went way up, but I also started looking for more socializing and at least the vestiges of relationships with dancers. I became a staunch regular at a small club, and for several years just hung out there. I met a few girls, went OTC a bit, and learned a lot about the human condition. I reawakened my interest in music, and in helping other people (something I think I might do in retirement).

All that, combined with way more business travel (my peak year, on the road 120 days), sunk my marriage, and my divorce is imminent. In the meantime, I met a girl, settled in with her and I'm definitely not lonely. I still go to clubs, sometimes with her. But I think now it's just for the cheap sexual thrills, which is about where I started 20 years ago.

The more things change...

As for declining beauty in clubs, I'm not so sure. My problem is I started by going to the top clubs, and then I discovered the wonders of bottom feeding. At my regular club in Phoenix, the standards seem intact. Other places, any preconceived notions of beauty are challenged mightily.

On the other hand, America has undeniably gotten fatter, so I can't see clubs isolated from that trend.

True confession: Strip clubbing did not cause my divorce but was rather a result of it. For the first 25 years of my 27 year marriage, I only once in a while visited a strip club. I hated my wife from day one. I should have known better. I was totally depressed and had become an alcoholic. I drank so much that when I would try to stop and dry out, I couldn't handle the withdrawal. I was extremely nervous. I did not recognize the signs. My M.D. tried different medications. None of them worked. I was off work for 3 months. He finally referred me to a psychiatrist. After months of counseling and trying different drugs, she found one that worked on me and convinced me that I had to get a divorce. No matter the cost. For the next 2 years, I started hitting the clubs and not keeping it a secret from her. I wanted to piss her off to the point of asking me for a divorce. She found out about my ATF and that pushed her into it. April 4th will be the 4th anniversary of my divorce. I have not been happier since before I was married. I now use strip clubs to make up for all of those miserable years that I was married. I'm getting the excitement of seeing and being with beautiful young women. I am not going to stop until Bones tells you that I went to stripper heaven.

Bro, I didn't know those details before and am certainly sorry you had to endure all those years of misery, pain, and depression. But, now you're out of it and back to yourself, thank God. Now just do 27 more years of happy lapping to equal those 27 years of a bad realtionship.

BTW, couldn't you have just filed yourself for divorce based on depression, despondancy, suicidal tendancies...... something like a medical discharge fromthe service, but medical annulment? Might not have been such a thing back then.

I'm surprised that this topic has drawn so many interesting responses but I'm not at all surprised that loneliness and depression have been common motivators for many of us. I've done most of my clubbing in smaller clubs during the day, and that's about all you see then - older men who are obviously lonely and depressed. I wonder why so many older married men are lonely? In my case I think it was because my kids grew up and no longer seemed to need me, and my wife spent all her time and attention on family and friends and didn't seem to need me either, and I lost interest in my job. A 1-2-3 punch.

When I was depressed I tried a lot of different things to get out of it, but 2 things really helped - meeting my ATF and going to the gym everyday. Thank God I still have both of them. And I haven't had any significant depression in 10+ years.

"I met a pretty Funny Girl/ dancing in tall shoes/ she smiled a smile and said hello/ and chased away my blues." Truer words were never spoken.

I can relate to FONDL's prescription; it worked for me too.

What is the song reference?

Dancer explains her reasons: I know that a lot of men come here because they are lonely, depressed, confused or under stress. They hide it well, because men are trained to do that, but it's real. For a time I help them oope with or temmporarily forget their problems. It's a fantasy and a service. Maybe one guy doesn't go off the deep end because I talked to him with respect. (Paraphrased, but pretty much a direct quote.)

Strip club patrons seem to be split into two distinct groups, for the most part. Group 1, made up of young guys partying, with little money to spend on getting dances, but with hopes of "scoring" with a stripper. Group 2, is the married guys that are looking to fill whatever void they have in their marriage. Of course there are other smaller groups, such as the older single guys, divorced/widowed guys. (Oh, and not to forget the females out there, too, they are a pretty small group, from what I've witnessed, however)

I fall into Group 2 - married, but needing more. I wouldn't call my marriage an unhappy one, but definitely it lacks the sparks and passion, and feels more like a friendship most of the time. I truly miss those feelings that one gets when they are in love (or is it lust?)... you know... the excited feelings of anticipating seeing someone that you are seriously attracted to... Well, that's how it started with me. First, it was "affairs"... co-workers that caught my eye. Girls/women that I'd go out with that'd fill some of those voids. Problems arose, though... mostly over guilt (most girls couldn't get past my marriage and/or theirs)... and there was also the inherent danger of sneaking around in my own town...

That's when I stumbled upon Hip Hugger, in Kokomo. There, I found that you could "play" with any girl that caught your eye. Emboldened by my "success" with seeing women outside of my marriage, the next "logical" step was to attempt to develop "relationships" with girls in the club, and of course from there, was the goal to spend time with them OTC.

My experience is very much different from most people. I met my true soulmate when I was eight. We were a couple for five years, then the family seperated us by hundreds of miles and forbid us contact. The problem-she was my first cousin (BTW-not a history of this in the family-it just happened). Anyway, I ended up not dating until I was twenty. I had five long term relationships, all of them involved lies to varying degrees, but the last one actually used me to cover the fact that she and her biological father were romantically involved. How do you recover from a betrayal like that?

I held out, thinking it was possible to find a date with possibilities. After dating thirty women who all lied to me-after I asked them on the first date not to_ I sought the advice of a friend who gave me some sage advice:"The only difference between a wife and a whore is that the wife is a cleaner high class whore. Think about how much you spend on each one-emotionally and financially, then decide if it's worth it."

Since then, I've only gone to strip joints 3-4 times a year-to get laid. I save up money, knowing that what I have will allow me to pick the gal I want, then get laid. In Houston, most strippers will do the deed, most but not all. The trick is to find the right one who meets my needs (Just because some looks challenged crack whore will do it is not enough).

Still, I haven't found my nirvana. What I haven't done, and really would like to, is screw some really tiny asian chick.

DougS, I like your categorization of customers, I've always thought the same thing. And I guess when you come right down to it, that's exactly why I rarely go to strip clubs anymore. I no longer fall into either category. I'm no longer either depressed or lonely. I guess strip clubs worked for me and I graduated.

Adding to DougS's catagory is Group 3 - Those old timers that are divorced, still bachelors, or widowers. Shadowcat, ClevelandTom, and I fall into this catagory. Probably some other TUSCLERs also, but I have not yet come to identify or party with them YET.

This group usually thrives on attention and ego boosting. Most of us are looking for extras if available. Most of us will OTC with a FAV dancer or ATF. Most of us can afford to visit SCs more often than most. Most of us can manage our money once inside a SC. Most of us have learned not to chance DUI charges. Most of us are not on any type of illegal drugs and enjoy a "natural" high. Most of us want to die with a HOT dancer between our legs!!! :-) LOL

I'm a member of Group 3. :)

Boness, I think you guys are a much smaller group that the first 2 categories, I've never seen many customer who seemed to fit your category. And I think I could tell from the smiles on their faces. Most of the older customers I've seen never smile.

I also think there's a 4th category that's pretty common - younger-to-middle-aged single guys who are lonely because they are misfits and have no social skills. Lots of them in strip clubs. And maybe a few here too. And I don't mean any disrespect to anyone here by saying that, we all have our problems.

Bones: I resemble that remark. Count me in.

FONDL, I guess I am "one of few here" that fall into the 4th category. At 49, am I still middle-aged (or am I old ??). I am single - never married. I started going to SCs when I was young because I was lonely. Not only did I lack any social skills, I am overweight (OK, let's be truthful about it, I'm FAT). Not a good combination !!!

More than 25 years later, I still am going. The only difference is, I mainly only want to see my ATF. Sometimes I will go to other clubs, but I am finding that less and less attractive anymore. If you read my reviews, I give plenty of clubs low scores -- maybe it's me, not the club.

Anyway, I'm rambling here.....I guess I'm a PL for life.

I'll label myself a member of catagory 3 too. However the more I read the comments of most on this board, the more similar we all seem to be. While our ages and economic status may vary, our views and attitudes toward strip clubs/dancers seems very similar. David120 I think you can call yourself a rookie member of catagory 3 since AARP now allows you in at 50. You are probably being a little hard on yourself as I suspect many of us in catagory 3 also are overweight and lack many of the social skills that would probably keep us out of strip clubs.

Snowtime, I think you mean category 4, not 3. In any event, haven't you heard that 70 is the new 50? You guys are still middle-aged and will be for a long time. Personally I think young, middle aged and old are a state of mind, not a chronological age. I've known people in their 20s who were old and people in their 70s who were young.

My advice to you guys who are fat and old - hit the gym. That's what I did when I was fat and old, now I'm fit and young. The biggest benefit is mental. And if you don't believe it, read the book "Younger Next Year." I'm 68 and I feel sigificantly younger than I did a dozen years ago.

Aha FONDL, You finally gave your age. Yes, you are the oldest poster on here. Beat me by 2 years. I agree with you. You are only as old as you feel. I get IDed all of the time. Mostly by strippers who guess me to be 20 years younger. I am lucky. I still have 98% of my hair and have never had a weight problem. I weigh the same as when I was 18. 150lbs. And thanks to Viagra, I can still do it.

Well, now I feel young! I'm only 53, a spring chicken compare to some of you guys, and in a committed relationship, but still going to clubs because I like sexual thrills (and hope to never lose that feeling) I forget, what category does that put me in? Oh, I'm fit and I have all my hair, too. Does that matter? I can identify with the Category 2 guy though; I think that was me for 10 years.

I think the more we break it down, the more categories we get. Now Bones, he has got to be in his own category (OCD for sure, but not the usual hand washing obsession).

And we nead a thread just for Dudester (see his post above) so we can offer all kinds of theories for what the hell is going on there! No disrespect, I'm just having a little fun tonight.

Bones has OCD?

Shadowcat, I'm pretty sure I've stated my age here before but maybe not lately, you probably just missed it. It's no secret - I'm an old fart. But with a young mind and body. As a friend of mine says, you can only be young once but you can be immature forever. That would make a good slogan for this site.