tuscl

Dear Stripper Diary: FUCK THESE MEN! ...a rant

BubbleYum
Blow me. 😙 Pronouns: hoe/heaux
Saturday, September 3, 2022 11:01 AM
Hi everyone. My name is Bubbles and I've been dancing for two weeks. I'm already a top earner at my club and my week night average is $2,000 and my weekend average is $6,000. I usually refuse dances and make my money on stage. I'm so good at this job after two weeks that girls who started after me ask ME for advice. I'm even considering starting my own stripper mentorship program. Surely, these brand new dancers can afford this quality education that totally can't be found for free anywhere else on the internet for $1,500. I'm a total veteran dancer after two weeks for sure!! 😊 Anyway, I just wanted to come here on r/Stripper and vent about these MEN!!!! I can't believe they have the audacity to exist and breathe my air. Ugh!! I had this one man earlier that should have been thrown out!! Like, I was sitting and finishing eating my plate of waffles and this man comes over to me and asks me for a dance. My dances are $100/song and are strictly air dances! The club's price is $25, but fuck that. I know my worth and I'm worth $100/song minimum. This man asked for my real name. Ummm.... Excuse me? My real name is Karen, but why can't he just call me Bubbles? Ugh!! 🙄 So, like, we went to VIP. I started my air dance in the middle of the first song because fuck this man and customer service. He doesn't deserve for me to start on the next song because he has the audacity to exist and be at MY club like a perv! We did one air dance and he asked if I could sit on him and dance. I told him those dances are $200/song!! I'm totally not a whorephobe and I support girls who do extras! But those whores should risk their lives and do that shit outside of the club!! They are ruining MY club with their cheap $100 extras!! You do you, but if you do extras, take it outside of the club and make sure you charge at least $1,500 minimum!! Everyone knows all of the men seeking extras are there because of these girls doing cheap shit. And these men are ALL escort rejects, that's why they come to the club, duh. Anyway, I don't do extras because I'm better than that, but I still support them. I did sit on this customer's lap for this second song. I am SO traumatized from it!! This MAN had the balls to fucking touch me!! He touched my shoulder without my consent and it made me feel so dirty and like a whore. We finished that second song finally. It was like the most miserable three minutes of my 18 years of life. I also farted on him because fuck him for being at MY club breathing MY air and touching me. 😤 I went back to the bar and ignored all of the customers to play on my phone and argue with my boyfriend for an hour. I don't care if those gross men had a problem with me not going up to them. Like, I'm not mind reader. How am I supposed to know if they want to talk to me? I don't go up to these MEN. They come up to ME if they're interested in talking to me. The DJ called me on stage and of course didn't play any of MY songs! I tell him how to do his job every shift because he's so stupid and a man. I stood on stage the whole time staring at the wall. I'm not saying I'm a 10, but I was definitely the hottest girl there and usually am. Why should I do any kind of movement on stage or take my top off? I'm hot and these men usually give me $800 minimum stage rain just for standing and looking cute. I don't need to entertain on stage or put any effort in at all. When I got off stage, this smelly ugly MAN asked me to sit with him at the bar. He asked if he could buy me a drink. Umm, excuse me, but I've seen how these bitches act when they're intoxicated and I'm better than that. These girls can't control themselves when they drink and are just sloppy and nasty and then they end up doing $50 blow jobs because they're whores. Again, I'm not a whorephobe and I totally support extras dancers though. This stupid man told me he wanted one of my signature $100 air dances, but he had the audacity to ask me to wash off the glitter I put on my body. I could NOT believe his request!! This glitter looked cute and it made me stand out. Everyone loves it! How dare he ask such an invasive and offensive question! He told me he would rather give his money to someone who wasn't wearing glitter. Ugh. Whatever. He's probably one of those loser men from one of those review websites anyway. I've never gone to those sites because I'm better than that and those guys are just lonely old men who have no idea what they're talking about like ever. They're just awful and shit talk strippers like ALL of the time. I would never ever agree to meet or talk to any of them. Gross. So, like, at the end of the night, I had to pay my house fees. I'm an independent contractor and a bad bitch. I shouldn't have to pay this club to work there. They should pay me just for showing up! I should actually sue this club for making me pay to work there. I did a minute of research on Google and found out Deja Vu gave 600 million to dancers because of a lawsuit once. I'm going to look into organizing a class action lawsuit against my club and sue them for several million. I know suing this club will have no impact on me working elsewhere in the future. These managers definitely don't talk to each other and they don't know anything at all. Before I graduated high school, I worked part-time at a Victoria's Secret for 6 hours every week for a month! I probably know more about how to manage a strip club than these managers do and I'm only 18. I'm not saying I know everything, but I do know everything. I just wanted to come on here and rant about these MEN for coming into my place of work, looking at me, and for existing around me. I know the rest of you ladies on r/Stripper would totally feel my pain and relate to my justifiable rant. Like I said, I'm a bad bitch at my club and I'm a top earner after ONLY 2 weeks of dancing. If any of you need any advice from me, I am totally happy to mentor you because I know I know more than you do. But I love you bitches and I hope you all get a bag tonight!! And, like, fuck these men! xoxoxo ❤️

57 comments

  • BubbleYum
    •
    2 years ago
    Jfc... That was painful to write. I hurt my brain and lost brain cells. Totally worth the r/Stripper troll though and I tried to include all of the popular rants and bs. BTE - don't fucking comment. You're not welcome to comment on my posts. And please, nobody acknowledge the retard or respond to his idiocy should he forget how to read and disrespectfully comment here anyway.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    2 years ago
    This is very well written. It’s a great display of how some dancers appear to know everything and hate all men. That being said, there are lots of creeps who visit strip clubs, and they likely give all customers a bad name. Hang in there Bubbles! Hopefully one day you will be able to got to your club and there won’t be any customers - just bags of cash for you!
  • BubbleYum
    •
    2 years ago
    Excuse me, but are you a MAN replying to me? I think you're lost. I can't believe the moderator here let's men read and comment! And just so you know, you MAN, I do know everything about everything. And I don't hate all men, I just hate these customers! I can't believe they have the audacity to see me at my work and support the small business that is me. God, I hate men!!!! 😡
  • twentyfive
    •
    2 years ago
    I hope no animals were used to test this product. 😆
  • BubbleYum
    •
    2 years ago
    I paid homage to some TUSCLers and friendly TUSCL drama from the past in that rant. I know Mack Truck loves to take dumps, so I paid homage to him by farting on that awful man. And of course Bubbles and others. I should have put in something about a pimp for Icee. I didn't even think about it until now. 😞
  • twentyfive
    •
    2 years ago
    ^ Not pimp, cos-play pimp, an incel type as a pimp
  • BubbleYum
    •
    2 years ago
    Yes, but it would have been a great hook for my story. I should also have talked about wanting to stab customers (BlahBlahBlah). I have to rewrite the entire thing now, damn it. Fucking men distracting me. The absolute audacity. 😒
  • shailynn
    •
    2 years ago
    This is great, we need a rant from the customers perspective as the other side. I’m sure Icee or SJG would volunteer to do the write up.
  • Huntsman
    •
    2 years ago
    Haha. A good Saturday morning read! Thanks BY.
  • BubbleYum
    •
    2 years ago
    Fuck, I should have included something about mandatory valet, too! God damn it. 😑 I want Papi or Longball to do a customer version.
  • shadowcat
    •
    2 years ago
    I hate to rain on your parade but you are not allowed to sue a club until long after you are no longer working there. Wait until you need the money.
  • BubbleYum
    •
    2 years ago
    But Bubbles knows everything about everything. 🤔
  • twentyfive
    •
    2 years ago
    ^ Then Bubbles is Iceefag, right ?
  • shadowcat
    •
    2 years ago
    Some things never change. Originally Posted: 2004-02-17 10:01 print A stripper's RANTS RANTS: 1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it's the fucking deed to Trump Towers... what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another pussy?? It's a fuckin' dollar, put it down on the tiprail already. 2) Men that come into the club for a lapdance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen). Ew! I don't even bother dancing with you nasty fucks anymore. 3) You with the thick-ass jeans--this was an impromptu visit, eh? 4) Don't pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if that felt good. It does NOT FEEL GOOD. 5) Hey you loser, counting all your bills to me after the dance, all $20 in ones, and rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you. 6) No I will not let you just "slip it in real quick" for 50 more bucks. If you're going to proposition me, at least don't insult my worth. 7) Stop asking me if my tits are real. There are as real as my affection for you. 8) If you cum in your pants, you have to tip me an extra $100 for being a lame-ass who can cum from just a lapdance. 9) Stop asking me out. You're a smelly, fat loser and the only reason I'm smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money. Outside of the club I wouldn't even fart your way. 10) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First of all your breath stinks, you have a piece of salami stuck to your goat-tee and you look like Jay Leno. Secondly, I don't give a shit. 11) Don't bitch at me about the $8 non-alchoholic beer either. Hide a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does. 12) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income. 13) No, you CAN'T SMOKE. Dumb. Ass. 14) Boys, don't sit in the front row with your homeboys and act all engrossed in some deep conversation (knowing damn well you ain't talking 'bout shit) during a girls performance because you want to look like you're too "cool" to notice the hot, naked girl in front of you. 15) DON'T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!! 16) Dumb ass, don't ask me, "so what do you guys do when you're on your period?" Answer: I lap dance only with guys in dark pants. 17) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!!!! That's extra. 18) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty fuck! 19) If you don't tip me, I'm going to call your wife. 20) I had a feeling you weren't going to tip me, so I took extra care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion before our dance. 21) Hey cheap-asses: please don't come to my work. Just stay home and jack off to reruns of "I love Genie" instead. It will save us a both a lot of unpleasantry. 22) Stop asking me why I do this job and get all analytical on me. For the MONEY you moron, that's why. Duh. 23) No seriously, my real name is Vixen Blue. 24) NO, I will not take a dime sac of weed for payment. I can tell it's oregano anyway you sick mutherfucker! 25) Sorry, I don't do that. Ask the ugly girl with the overbite and the black roots over there by the bar. 26) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay. 27) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the fucking maxi-single to me. 28) Yes I will fuck you, but only for 10 grand. More if you're ugly. So basically, more. 29) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. DO. NOT. 30) I don't care if you're cute and/or Brad Pitt's stunt double. I do not give free lapdances. Cute don't pay the rent. 31) Girls--what's with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene check? Nothing than worse than twirling around a pole and getting a whiff of stale pussy. 32) Girls--stop lip-syncing to the song you're dancing to on stage. Especially if you don't quite know all the words. 33) Girls--if your toes curl and hang over your platforms a la' Fred Flinstone, you need to go up a size. 34) Girls--drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not worse than the BO you're trying to cover. 35) Hey DJ! You suck! 36) Girls--may I suggest complete sobriety before getting tatted up? Tattoos should be meaningful, or at least semi-meaningful, or at least semi semi-meaningful. That fucking smurf on your ass is lame. 37) Girls--some songs should not be stripped to. Please. No Disney soundtracks (you know who you are), Sade, Bjork, or Aaron Carter. PLEASE. Thanks for listening. Vixen Blue
  • Electronman
    •
    2 years ago
    Great parody and wonder memes! I hope being a male does not invalidate my compliment. Maybe I'll drop the "he, him, his" pronoun BS and simply sign as a "mammal."
  • Electronman
    •
    2 years ago
    should have said "wonderful" memes.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    2 years ago
    Thank you Bubbles! It’s so good that you graced us lowly male customers with your wealth of knowledge! We might be older and more experienced, but we are not smarter!
  • rickdugan
    •
    2 years ago
    @Shadow, thanks for digging that up. I remember reading that post years ago and it is still as funny today as it was the last time. 😂
  • Muddy
    •
    2 years ago
    Yeah it’s pretty harsh behind closed doors. Oh they really don’t like us. But then again I look at some other customers in the club I would probably hate men too. I tell myself they just haven’t met MEEEEEE yet to be able to go to sleep at night.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    So what trick on here is behind the bubbleyum profile?
  • Bharlem
    •
    2 years ago
    Ha ha love the comedy… That’s exactly how they sound
  • rattdog
    •
    2 years ago
    are there any stripper diary entries written about the men's bathroom attendants? how about the club house moms?
  • nicespice
    •
    2 years ago
    r/stripper is a (mostly) unmoderated board. And since I like to shitpost a lot, I’m a fan of that. Personally, I’d love it if BigThirdEye created a fake female persona and did “her” thing 😎
  • Huntsman
    •
    2 years ago
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    Nicespice joining sjg in supporting cacaplop 🤡
  • nicespice
    •
    2 years ago
    Yeah, I have no problems with CandyManOfProvidence or whoever he is 😁
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    BigThirdEye sincerely believes what he posts. So I have no problem with him and it is not fair to call him a troll. SJG
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    Sjg he trolls you all the time. And no surprise since nicespuce is the troll queen of tuscl
  • elmer
    •
    2 years ago
    Jesus If "Bubbles" ever teamed up with bla23 that would be the end of strip clubs as we know it🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
  • rickmacrodong
    •
    2 years ago
    Nicespice i posted on r stripper once, they immediately shut it down with complaints that im not a dancer. It seems very strict But i guess many of my questions could be rephrased from a dancers perspective
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    BubbleYum, if you were in The Organization I am building you would start right off with a sex slave initiation. After that you'd be trying to fuck as many men as you possible can. SJG Music More Edgy [view link]
  • nicespice
    •
    2 years ago
    —>“Nicespice i posted on r stripper once, they immediately shut it down with complaints that im not a dancer. It seems very strict “ Yeah being a self-identified male is the main real bannable offense, aside from anything enforced by the Reddit admins themselves. Heck. aspirational “how do I get started” strippers are allowed too. They will get mega flamed by the main sub contributors, but not banned.
  • twentyfive
    •
    2 years ago
    @SJG How many girls have responded to that pitch, I can’t imagine any that would.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    Its not a pitch, its just something for people to think about, as their preferences and temperament could be changed. SJG music which is more edgy [view link]
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    The organization is invitation only. We never advertise for members, and you can't apply to be invited. We only invite people that we know f2f, and usually that means sexual intimacy. And we only invite people whom we feel would be a real plus. And people don't hear about anything like Sex Slave Initiation until they are ready for it and someone is going to shepherd them through it. So above I was just posting in abstraction. See, since the women have gone through sex slave initiation, they are really "out there". So anytime you are around them, it is actually you who are the slave, their slave. [view link] SJG School of Rock, more edgy [view link]
  • twentyfive
    •
    2 years ago
    sounds sick
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    Roissy, a place in The Netherlands which actualizes Story of O. They have their own 24-7 Music feed. [view link] SJG
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    2 years ago
    Has a male stripper ever tried to post in r/Stripper? If a stripper goes outside to smoke, and you give her $20 to fart in your direction, does that count as OTC?
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    2 years ago
    What percentage of r/Stripper posts are men not saying they're men. Is it pretty much the mirror image of this? [view link]
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    •
    2 years ago
    Sjg so you want hot sober strippers and hoes to let you initiate them into your secret organization where they'll be sex slaves fucking all the male members for free.... So if they don't join. Do the male members fuck each other?
  • docsavage
    •
    2 years ago
    When I read strippers talking to each other on the internet they seem nothing like the sweet friendly girls I spend time with in strip clubs. At work I think strippers act like they like the customers more than they really do However, when strippers talk to strippers I also think they act like they dislike the customers more than they really do. I've noticed when I'm alone with a girl in the lap dance area she is often very friendly and then the friendliness decreases if another girl enters the room. I believe they are unaware they are shifting like this. Everyone becomes a different person, depending on who they are around. These girls would act different with their boyfriend, their grandmother, their children, at work with customers, with other strippers and so on. Everyone shifts like that.
  • uniquename
    •
    2 years ago
    This place really needs the ability to put a “laugh” icon next to posts…
  • Longball300
    •
    2 years ago
    Fantastic... Got a four day to The D coming up soon to gather material and will get to work on my version... Tough act to follow.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    2 years ago
    @doc I'd wager it's similar with us PLs. The PLs who at best see strippers as worthy advisories in these discussions are probably putty in their hands in the club.
  • MackTruck
    •
    2 years ago
    Hell yeah!!!
  • Champphilly
    •
    2 years ago
    Story, nothing real. Please don’t waste your time.
  • BubbleYum
    •
    2 years ago
    ^ 1. Who the fuck are you? Don't tell me how to spend my time. 2. You're an idiot anyway, so of course you don't understand the joke in what I wrote. 3. Fuck off. This topic is now CLOSED.
  • docsavage
    •
    2 years ago
    I thought this was funny so I appreciate BubbleYum coming up with it. I recently annoyed someone here when they opened up a discussion to make a joke and I left a comment but didn't congratulate them for being so funny. They got angry and accused me and several other commenters of being too stupid to understand it was a joke. I was taken aback by this. I had never said a bad word to this person and they were being condescending and insulting towards me just because I didn't tell them their joke was funny.
  • Champphilly
    •
    2 years ago
    Good stupid joke?
  • MackTruck
    •
    2 years ago
    Hell yeah!
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    2 years ago
    Now I can't help but wonder if rickdugan isn't a long-running customer parody at an Andy Kaufman level.
  • wallanon
    •
    2 years ago
    Somebody fed this one after midnight.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    "So if they don't join. Do the male members fuck each other?" No Icey, that sounds like something for you, not for me or my people. SJG Heart - Straight On [view link]
  • Bharlem
    •
    2 years ago
    1)There are male strippers on the forum. 2) The dancers do in fact despise you. They act differently in front of another dancer to exert power over the situation. All dancers claim they are giving less than they actually do. 3) I never EVER want BTE to bring those stupid ass questions to r/stripper
  • nicespice
    •
    2 years ago
    Idk, I’m not going to count the occasional males who post shirtless selfies of themselves and then quickly wander off elsewhere. Since I haven’t noticed them contribute anything past that. But unlike the “regular” males they don’t get a bunch of dancers downvoting them, so there is that. I think how much anti-customer rhetoric I’ve heard has been fairly club dependent. One extreme where I’ve never heard a peep of complaining about customers as a collective ever is King of Diamonds in Minnesota. But then again, that club doesn’t give much leeway for customers to behave annoyingly. Exchanging phone numbers is forbidden and camera enforced, which lowers their ability to send stupid text messages. And anything boundary pushing in dances isn’t going to happen either, because…,camera enforced and they know what to expect. And dancers don’t have to work too hard to close sales there. So anything that could be remotely stressful from the customers is pretty much eliminated. The worst from dancers talking smack is the occasional grumble about an out of towner customer who is from Detroit or St Louis and gets mad that the dancer isn’t doing “better”. And I won’t take back what I said about BigThirdEye. There was speculation the other day if he had made an appearance on the more customer-centric r/stripclubs the other day 😁
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    2 years ago
    BTE is a good guy! SJG Free - Wishing Well [view link]
  • BubbleYum
    •
    2 years ago
    "3) I never EVER want BTE to bring those stupid ass questions to r/stripper" Same. (Sorry, rereading the comments and wanted to reply). I hope he stays far, far away from r/stripper and r/strippers. The latter is a mixed community, but I do suspect BTE has infiltrated r/StripClubs because there have been some really mindless questions on there in the past month.
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