Dancer Says She Doesn't Like or Respect Me . . .
because I'm weak and afraid of a real relationship!
I told her and what type of relationship is an old man going to have with a young woman? She says that is another thing: Get a woman your own age! :) How about fun?, I asked. She gave a blank look and then says have fun with the old woman. You're old. Stop throwing your money away on NOTHING!!!
I said you're nothing? She says it is just a fantasy. You should spend money on something that is real. Like a new car? Exactly, she says. :) I told her my buddy was being a pest and said the same thing. She says your buddy is smart. Dancers are a total waste of money! I said gee you're in a bad mood. She says no, I just think you're being taken advantage of and you need to say no to all dances and strip clubs. Find a good woman your own age. I said that sounds very depressing. She says I give up and leaves.
I thought it was funny, but at the same time it depressed me. Same old, same old. The whole world seems to be against poor old jablake. I guess I just have to suck it up and try and do something positive. Like get more dances. :) Actually, being more positive makes more sense for sensible people.
Comments
last commentIf she thinks that dancers are a waste of money then why is she dancing?? From what I have read you don't spend big bucks at stripclubs so I don't see how you are wasting money unlessen you come to a club every week or every day.
Where at did she say she didn't like you? She must respect you to some extent in to telling you that you are wasting you money, if you are indeed blowing money away that you should save.
She's trying, in her own way, to give you serious advice. She's telling you to stop wasting money on dancers because there will be no fulfilling relationship with empty-headed women. You need a mature woman, your own age, who will be a friend, partner and lover, not any of these bimbos. She likes you and wants you to be happy. Maybe spending money on dancers with the full knowledge of what is and is not possible still makes you happy. So go for what makes you feel good.
Face it, you are a whiney little man. No one likes that crap.
She can give advice. If you don't like it, just tell her "yeah but it's my money to waste and throw away. If you don't want it, I'll find some other dancer who does." Maybe she was in a bad mood. Maybe she was trying to help you. In the end it doesn't really matter except if you enjoy how you spent your money. Different females have different ideas of how every guy is supposed to be. Many females think guys should be married and supporting their wives and kids. A few guys just want to be single and have fun. A few married women think of their husbands as ATM machines and drive them to bankruptcy. Good luck having fun.
In my opinion, the dancer in question MUST like and respect you (despite what she claims) in order to say such things. I've said similar things to regulars when their spending seemed, to me, out of control (based on what I had gathered about their budget). I don't want to destroy anyone's life and when I see the potentiality of that happening, I try to distance myself. If a gentle push doesn't suffice (such as leaving a regular waiting while I spend time with a customer who spends far less), I will resort to interrogation: (a) Why do you go to strip clubs?, (b) Why aren't you married, (c) Why have your past relationships failed?, etc... Generally, I don't resort to this sort of questioning unless I genuinely think that the customer in question (a) craves an authentic romantic relationship and (b) could achieve such a relationship. Now, if it's clear to me that this is NOT what the customer wants, and that he truly prefers a no-strings-attached, customer-dancer relationship, I'll let it be...
For some, spending money on dancers is not a waste. For others, it is. It's up to you to determine the sort of relationships you wish to have, and those you don't.
Hi parodyman,
Actually, you raised a very important point that I think or hope you are already aware of. "[Y]ou are a whiny little man. No one likes that crap." No one likes that crap? Try replacing that with a huge majority doesn't like that crap. :) It sounds more intelligent and may even be true.
Some strippers especially love whiny little men and other losers because it seems to bring out a strong mothering instinct. Why have a winner who really doesn't need you when you can have someone that you can nurture and at least try and make happier or save?
Hi Jpac73,
I was going everyday or almost everyday. Yes, I wasn't spending big bucks because I don't have big bucks to budget.
She is a nice person who I got along with well and who I would buy some dances from or sometimes just one dance from. It was easy to look forward to seeing her. At that time I never spent a lot of money. Sometimes just a single dance from one or two dancers was a big deal for me. That is the key in that it was a big deal to me. To the dancer she might be more interested in a positive response than in $5---depending on the dancer. The dancer at The Trap who for the first time ever appreciated my spending only $10 on her (that is money to me), it seemed like the little bit of money either helped her or she just appreciated a positive response i.e. she made a sale.
Hi SuperDude,
Yes, I think she was trying to be helpful. She sees that I like talking to her and other dancers and gets the wrong idea. Looks aren't very important to her and she may think that looks really aren't important to me and with a lot guys regardless of what they profess looks aren't a top priority. It is all about MILEAGE!!! :) I'm about mileage also, but of the GFE variety--the hardcore doesn't hold too much interest to me usually. Now, if I feel comfortable with the dancer then the hardcore starts to seem very appealing if she'll cooperate. :)
Spending money even knowing the downsides and real limits still makes me happy and that I think just doesn't make any sort sense to her. Yes, I think you're right on target.
Hi casualguy,
Yes, like I'm supposed to be crazy about huge breasts or I'm not supposed to care about looks. With all the focus on breasts I can see that, but not caring about looks???
You just want to get into my pants because that is what all guys want is repeated often. Unfortunately, I think it is reasonable for the woman to think I'm feeding her lines and that I can't be serious. I loved the line "Where's the condoms. You ain't getting any for real unless you have a condom." Damn, that girl moved fast and she hadn't believed a word that I told her. She had actually needed a lot of sweet talking to lure over to my place, but once there she was resigned to giving it up. That was a pleasant surprise, btw. :) No work, just served on a platter. :) Unfortunately, I hadn't known her too long. She was skill city top top top notch. The best ever by far as far as skill. :)
Hi MIDancer,
Well, I think she actually did like me in her own way. As far as respect?, now that may be a different story. :) More than a few dancers that I've met think it is pathetic for a man to pay for a woman's attention or more accurately in most cases to do it over a long period of time. Short term relief? That probably isn't seen as too negative. Thinking running along the lines of men are easy and desperate and until you land the right woman no real harm in a little short time fun or relief.
She probably also thought I was addicted, which was true, and thus, didn't want to take advantage of someone who had that problem. It is like if you know someone can't stop drinking it can quickly get to the point where you don't want to be part of assisting in that. Or maybe, it was more a case that she sees me getting too attached-----well, compared to how I would act without the money as a barrier I'm not that bad. If she or any dancer tells me to go and well it was a fantasy and business relationship so yep I have to go and find a new fantasy. A real relationship? Don't even want to think about it. Some people can't handle booze or drugs? Well, I can't handle a real relationship if the woman decides to end it. More than a few people can't understand that even a little bit. As if love has an easy on/off switch or recovery is just a few weeks or months or years away. Try many years. Not worth the all the good times, imo.
Now I see why she told you what she did. If a guy is coming into a stripclub everday or almost everyday and he is spending money on dances each time he comes in then that is a clear indication that he is either lonely or needs some sex.
Hi Jpac73,
Yes, I really need that physical contact or at least I think I need it. :) The alternatives don't look attractive. A real girlfriend? I can't see that at all even if she was young and hot---maybe especially if she was young and hot. :) An old and hot just wouldn't appeal to me. :( As far as friendship, yes that is nice. I have a mature lady friend, but I don't want physical contact from her. She is like a regular buddy--she could be a man as far as the way I see her. She isn't bad looking and keeps herself in shape. She is educated and intelligent.
A prostitute? That would be ok if I had a screener--for looks--who I trusted and more importantly I don't think there is any budget for prostitutes. Heck, I'm cutting down on the stripclub visits and dances. And, even with money I think the health would force my hand. I'm going today and it is just plain stupid and brain dead and idiotic because I will have trouble making it to the car. But, I have no one to blame, but myself for that one. Sometimes people actually deserve to get kicked in the teeth and this is one of those times. :(
It is funny the mature lady friend that I like so much is financially secure. She told me one thing she liked about me is that I didn't seem to have any interest in her money. I told her that she is a woman and that I didn't think a man should be asking her for a penny and she sure as hell shouldn't offer, period! (There are a very few exceptions; she doesn't fit any of them.) If he does for any reason (not just money--resources like going to movies or dinner at her expense, etc., then she needs to be rid of him immediately, imho.
I just don't think like that. If she wants that or someone else wants that, then fine. I don't any part of that. Heck, I might only be able to afford Burger King and if that isn't good enough find someone else who has more money for you. Actually, we don't have that problem because I'm not dating her and just wouldn't want to be anything, but friends. She is a good friend. :) Now, if only she was a hot 18 year old wanting to earn a little money. ;)
jablake, you telling me how to sound more intelligent is rich. I stand by what I said. The fact is you will find a way to rationalize your lack of maturity. If you have to tell yourself some women like your mewling because it gives them the oportunity to mother you go ahead. They are having quite a laugh at your expense.
Hi parodyman,
Doing mind reading again? :)