I'm going to sue Facebook

36 comments

• Dave_Anderson

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  3 years ago

  So basically I can no longer access my account but I can't even delete it, so for eternity some liberal or other asshole can dig through my past posts and take anything out of context without my ability to respond. If for example I ever become "inadvertently famous" some liberal could dig up my old account and distort any messages without my ability to respond. Again, enough is enough. Someone needs to fight back agsinst this crsp.
• Dave_Anderson

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  3 years ago

  Here's some information to actually call this fucking piece of shit company by phone if you're blocked from contacting them by any other means. I am calling these fuckers Monday morning. If they don't resolve this to my satisfaction I will be filing a suit against them. [view link]
• DoctorPhil.

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  3 years ago

  Relax Mr. Anderson. Unless you’ve been posting truly psycho things and then commit a violent crime nobody is going to care about your Facebook account. The worst case scenario is that some random liberal shares a screenshot of some nonsense you posted and adds the caption “looks like somebody needs a tin foil hat to keep out the live feed from CIA mind control satellites”. As long as you can laugh that off you’re fine. Or you can send ‘em your photo ID and delete the page.
• DoctorPhil.

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  3 years ago

  But seriously, you really should get the tin foil hat. I’m worried about you man. Did you know that the true function of the vaccine microchips is to convert the Bill Gates/CIA mind control rays into pleasant images. Right now I’m getting a feed of some truly top notch porn playing in my head. Not the weird images Bill Gates is feeding you. I bet you’re seeing an endless loop of Mark Zuckerberg’s cat saying “redrum redrum” right now. How can you get rid of Zuck kitty? Well you could get vaxxed. But you ain’t gonna do that. So I recommend a stylish tin foil covered top hat 🎩 Also, I hear that if you buy a few Scotch Bonnet peppers, purée them in rice vinegar, add some wasabi, and use the mix as an enema it blocks the mind control rays. You could try that. You’re welcome.
• Tetradon

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  3 years ago

  This is a joke, right? I'm sure the SCOTUS will take up The Case of the Banned from Facebook.
• gobstopper007

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  3 years ago

  That 10 grand the attorney will charge would make you very popular in the club
• crazyjoe

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  3 years ago

  I read this while destroying a shitter
• ATACdawg

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  3 years ago

  "That 10 grand the attorney will charge would make you very popular in the club" Actually, that $10,000 will make the attorney very popular in the club. Good luck with your lawsuit, Dave. I'm sure Zuckerberg is trembling in his boots!
• RandomMember

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  3 years ago

  "I was a paralegal for 6 years in my earlier life. " ______________________ I thought you had truly little chance against a company with $120B/yr in revenue. But, WOW, you used to be a paralegal!!
• drewcareypnw

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  3 years ago

  @dave: what was the post that got you banned?
• twentyfive

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  3 years ago

  we warned you Dave, but did you listen, nooo you really shouldn't be out and about without your tinfoil head gear, it's too late Dave, they know where you are now, [view link]
• DoctorPhil.

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  3 years ago

  “ I thought you had truly little chance against a company with $120B/yr in revenue. But, WOW, you used to be a paralegal!!” Correction: he’s a former paralegal with a stylish tin foil covered top hat 🎩 that puts homemade hot sauce up his bung hole. If some crazy bastard like that came at you you’d be a-scared! He’s counting on the Zuck to be a-scared too.
• CJKent_band

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  3 years ago

  Pics of the lawsuit papers or it isn’t going to happen. :D
• gSteph

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  3 years ago

  Oooo, Oooo, can I be your lawyer. 1st thing, what's Facebook?
• DenimChicken

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  3 years ago

  The real tragedy is that he has full access to Tuscl and won't delete his account. Anybody, liberal or not, can easily his post history here.
• ilbbaicnl

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  3 years ago

  Currently they are a private company, so they don't have to respect your constitutionally protected First Amendment rights. That's part of why many people are saying that Facebook and Twitter need to be regulated somewhat like the old Bell Telephone monopoly was. I think Facebook is probably violating California and European Union privacy laws by not letting you delete your account. If you lived in Cali or the EU while you had your Facebook account, you may be protected by those laws. You can make your own webpage for free on [view link], but it's pretty hard if you're not a nerd. I haven't heard anything about them censoring people, but most people only put nerdy stuff on that site.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  3 years ago

  He can delete his account, but Facebook requires that you prove your identity (via photo ID) before you can delete a personal profile. Facebook's defense in this highly unlikely lawsuit would be the millions of times people attempt to maliciously delete other people's accounts because they don't like them, which is why they want to verify identity before deleting personal profiles. Their follow up to this will be the countless other private and government services that also legally require photo ID to terminate services. And then they'll note that every time you log in to the site, you're agreeing to their terms of service. At that point in this fictional courtroom drama, Dave either lets his bricked FB profile lay fallow forever, or he quietly hands over his photo ID so that he can delete his account. All while wondering how Facebook could have managed to achieve victory when faced with 6 years of paralegal experience. Also, none of this will actually see the inside of a courtroom.
• gSteph

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  3 years ago

  I wonder why the paralegal world took 6 years to delete him.
• georgmicrodong

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  3 years ago

  No lawyer with any experience, or a brain, will take this case.
• SneakyClubster

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  3 years ago

  Write a review Dave. Maybe then you'll get a couple of ounces of my pity.
• EastCoaster

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  3 years ago

  Dave, you should enlist the help of TUSCLer Iamcall1140 -- he's the guy who sued The Cheetah in Atlanta. You two would make a great legal team. [view link]
• SneakyClubster

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  3 years ago

  @EastCoaster reading that thread makes me want to die of cringe. Is also perfect for this situation. A legal dream team! Zuckerberg doesn't stand a chance!
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  3 years ago

  Iamcall1140 and the Cheetah ... That guy fully and willingly doxed himself, which was unfortunate because it became quickly evident that he had some degree of mental illness. That said, I don't blame Cheetah for banning him. That was actually one of the more painful threads on TUSCL.
• rattdog

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  3 years ago

  why not just start another fb account? better yet why not another 25-30? it'll be cheaper than hiring a lawyer, to whom fb will wind up paying of anyway if the op's "case" should show any real solid merit in court.
• Tetradon

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  3 years ago

  How many lawyers do we have on the board, other than Skibum?
• rattdog

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  3 years ago

  or how many paralegals?
• twentyfive

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  3 years ago

  ^ There are two others that don't care to get drawn into these type of discussions
• Tetradon

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  3 years ago

  ^ Go away, Cacaplop
• Papi_Chulo

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  3 years ago

  Well - I thought Trump was suing social media companies; perhaps it was Twitter specifically IDK - I assume Trump has good lawyers - I'd wait to see how that goes.
• Papi_Chulo

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  3 years ago

  I rarely use my FB account - for some reason I've been unable to long-in since around 2019 - they also told me I had to provide a photo in order to access my account - I was like "fuck it" - not sure why I lost my log-in credentials - I did have a separate burner FB accnt so maybe that did it (or they've been reading my TUSCL political posts 😛) On a related note - I rarely write Google reviews but it seem my last two reviews disappeared shortly after being posted.
• nicespice

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  3 years ago

  Holy cow, I remember making fun of Dave_Anderson saying he was only on tuscl because he was banned off Facebook. Wow, way to make a thread validating what I said back then…and more 😳
• Icee Loco (asshole)

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  3 years ago

  You can sue anyone for anything. The real question is whether you should and if its worth it
• san_jose_guy

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  3 years ago

  Facebook wants to be a real name community. That is very hard, really impossible, to enforce. I think you would have to be an idiot to give facebook your real name. I never use facebook, except I have one fake name handle, but it is only to look at links to facebook which I find sometimes. It never posts anything and never communicates with anyone, and it is on an email I never use for anything else. No one will have that email and be able to look it up on facebook, cause they have never seen that email address. SJG That Moment Ariana Grande Danced Like This [view link]
• ilbbaicnl

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  3 years ago

  Generally if you have a strong case, a lawyer will take it on contingency. But I think it's dubious whether there's any contract between Facebook, WhatsApp, etc. and their users. In which case, I don't think there could be any grounds to sue.
• Icee Loco (asshole)

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  3 years ago

  It's not hard to enforce. It's a private company and can do what it wants. It can have you require an ID or credit card to register. Or limit one account per device.
• san_jose_guy

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  3 years ago

  Why would anyone want to use facebook when they could just make their own website on a free host. That way there are no rules. SJG