tuscl

They were not Jehova’s Witnesses... nor were the LDS missionaries...

DoctorPhil.
Space geneious and inventer of the grunges
Wednesday, December 1, 2021 1:07 AM
So yours truly was sitting at home at 11:30 as the day was winding down when I heard the doorbell. I turned on the porch light to see two well-dressed young men who asked “would you like to learn about your Lord and Savior?” Although I was tired, I always enjoy fucking with the religious so I decided to make a Jesus/Jesús joke and say “yeah yeah yeah I know you think he’s your fucking savior but I saw Jesús down at the Home Depot parking lot...why don’t you catch up with him there?” The young men were not bothered. Instead, one of them said “Jesus is not the savior”. His friend then added “no, we want to tell you the good news about Dracula” 🧛‍♂️ “So...you’re vampire missionaries?” I asked. The answer came rapidly: “ofcourse, where do you think new vampires come from if not from our missions? “ I hesitated for a moment and then replied that I assumed new vampires rose from the grave after being bit by an existing vampire. Both young men looked disappointed, and one replied “There are a lot of ugly rumors...may we come in?”

7 comments

  • san_jose_guy
    •
    3 years ago
    Ha Ha Ha. Usually with the Xians at the door, they will say, "Is this is Christian Home?" To which I will answer, "This is a brothel". SJG
  • Estafador
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    3 years ago
    Lol that was a good one. Is that how your still kicking at age 403?
  • ilbbaicnl
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    3 years ago
    Dancers have told there is some actual fucking "ministry to strippers" thing. It's Christian chicks who do it. They come to the club and pass out cheap beauty products, dancers say it's all meh stuff but the body lotion is OK. Apparently it's really about chicks wanting to dabble in the hoe experience but stay good with Jesus. Never heard that they de-hoed even one stripper.
  • san_jose_guy
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    3 years ago
    I actually helped move a City Attorney to strengthen the door to door canvasing ordinance so that religious canvassers are threated the same as commercial canvassers. They must show their license and obey the no canvasing list. Most do not, but they are extremely arrogant. I have learned how to take them down but good. SJG Bill Evans '64 - '75 [view link]
  • san_jose_guy
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    3 years ago
    Anyone who actually had an experience of divinity would never want to in anyone promote the I AM A CHRISTIAN movement. Fuck those door to door idiots. To the lions with them. SJG PBS Newshour, today, still feeding the hysteria and calling for more needle jabs, and lowering the age limit for "boosters" [view link] Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild (Live at Farm Aid 1986) [view link] Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild (Live 2006) [view link]
  • Daddillac
    •
    3 years ago
    I saw some Jehova's witnesses canvasing my apartment complex when I was in college... I answered the door Buck naked and invited them in. They refused and said they would come back another time, I told them I was always naked in my home. They never came back
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    3 years ago
    Canvasing is not respecting people's homes. I got the local laws strengthened. SJG
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