OT: New Bond Film - No Time To Die

misterorange
FUCK Joe Biden
Tuesday, October 12, 2021 6:13 AM
WARNING: SPOILER ALERT WARNING: SPOILER ALERT WARNING: SPOILER ALERT ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Everybody dies. They kill Felix Leiter. They kill all of SPECTRE except Blofeld who's still in jail. Then later on they do kill Blofeld. Finally, they kill Bond. It's less of a send-off to Daniel Craig than a goodbye to the entire franchise, at least as we've known it in the past. Bond's only love interest is a Plain Jane type MILF with a young child. He doesn't seduce any women to get information. He doesn't gamble. He complains about M drinking too much. There is ZERO sexual tension between Bond and Moneypenny. He's a teary eyed hopeless romantic, especially after it is revealed that the child is his daughter. This is the new Bond... James Bond... family man. I would divide this movie into fifths, or 20% blocks. Segment 1: Some decent action and story development. Seemed like it might have potential. Segment 2 to 3: Painfully boring, hard to watch. I almost left the theater. Felt like I didn't even care how it would end. I think the only reason I stayed was out of curiosity for how bad it could get. Segment 4: Good action worthy of a real Bond film, but overall this is NOT a real Bond film. Segment 5: Pathetic. Bond is a shell his former self. Heartbroken because he can not be with his woman and child, he gives up. He does manage to save the day, but then just lays down his life for no reason. He'd rather quit than survive and try to find a solution to his dilemma. The movie ends with M, Q, Moneypenny and a few others toasting to Bond's memory. I was looking for some subtle clue that he actually survived, but there was nothing like that. By all indications, Bond is dead as a doornail. In my opinion, this film is not intended to be entertaining. It's main purpose is to make a statement. It is meant to signify, both figuratively and literally, the end of the traditional Bond character and movie format. My prediction: The next 007 will not be named James Bond, and will either be female, gay, or some form of transgender, gender fluid, or non-binary. For real Bond fans, a better title would be Good Time To Cry.

10 comments

Whoops... Sorry, I thought I put enough space at the top to not show on the header.
misterorange
3 years ago
Yeah, but how many times does Bond get laid ?
Warrior15
3 years ago
Any chance there's a final scene where M spots Bond anonymously hanging out in some cafe, ala Batman?... ;) [view link] Seriously though, can we now have a fun Bond again? Definitely time for a reboot...
Rod8432
3 years ago
James Bond as we know him cannot exist in today’s culture. The original character was pure bad ass and was all about what is consider now “toxic masculinity”. The earlier movies and books were great. Will be interesting to see how they try to reboot the franchise
gobstopper007
3 years ago
All these new Bond films had to create some kinda dumb insider story... The villain being some former agent. The villains girlfriend being some former Bond girlfriend. All creating a bunch of insider drama. Can't just go kick some random bad guy ass and fuck some rando... Gotta create some silly ass "intrigue". Like all the Bourne movies, being an ex something for the guys he's after falling for one of their underlings... Pfft. Just kill people, blow shit up, and fuck hotties. And cool toys, miniguns on the austin, explosive watches, whatever... It doesn't "expand the audience base", but they've instead lost the base, no one gives a shit anymore.
bkkruined
3 years ago
"Bond, James Bond. My pronouns are they and them. I was formally known as Jayne Bond, but I transitioned." Coming this Fall, Billy Porter IS James Bond. And SPECTRE, you're about to be woke!
datinman
3 years ago
JTL, you just dead-named Bond. You must be cancelled. You and Chapelle are both headed to Twitter detention. I saw the new Bond film this weekend, simply to avoid spoilers. My date called the end at the beginning, but I did not believe her. I simply cannot fucking believe it. Unfortunately after 60 years of films and 6 actors to play James Bond in canon, the only reason they would kill him is to replace the heterosexual, masculine, white, male lead character with something else. It's like they did not learn a fucking thing from the new woke Dr. Who's colossal failure. They could have added a new ethnic, female, or queer "00" agent to an expanded universe, but no, they went all in on creating a new 007 and killing the golden goose. It seems that "Casino Royale" will forever remain the highwater mark for the Bond franchise.
gammanu95
3 years ago
I guess I’ll have to try and watch Casino Royale again. I only got thru about 30 minutes. To be honest the last Bond film I watched in full was “License to Kill”. I thought the story was actually pretty good, it’s just that I couldn’t stand Timothy Dalton. Have not watched any Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig films. I’ve already given up in the franchise and am content to watch reruns of Goldfinger
motorhead
3 years ago
I thought Albert Broccoli and team got the message that portraying Bond as a fawning schoolboy over his woman - as was done for the first time with "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" - doesn't fly. I agree with bkkruin, just let Bond be the rake he is. Give him a bigger-than-life mission with cool locations, even cooler toys, seductive women, flirty banter with Miss Money Penny, and some clever baddies whose assess he kicks and blow-up-the-world plans he foils. And at the end of the movie, make sure he gets the girl and is seducing her, while being extracted by MI6 to keep around for his next mission. The best example of course, is the final scene of "Thunderball." [view link]
Rod8432
3 years ago
Okay! SJG
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
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