Sarcasm - Do you get it ?

Warrior15
Anywhere there are Titties.
I had a sugar baby over a couple of nights ago. Venezuelan girl. Very affectionate. This was probably the fourth time I had been with her so we are both very comfortable with each other.

Round one in the bedroom lasts quite a while with lots of foreplay, oral, then some good hard condom covered fucking. After that, we go back out to the living room. We have some wine and grapes while I recover. We sit and talk for a bit. But she's sitting there all naked so it doesn't take me long to get ready again. So back to the bedroom for round two. Now I'm like most guys. It takes me longer for round two. Especially if some wine and a condom are involved. Not to get hard, I'm ready. No, it takes a lot more effort for me to have an orgasm the second time. So we are fucking for a while. After several minutes of moving around into different positions, I can sense that the girl is getting a little tired. Next thing I know, she hops off me, pulls the condom off, and starts blowing me. She is awesome at this. She's going at my dick as if it were some candy or ice cream. I'm in heaven. After a few minutes of this, the inevitable happens.

Now most girls I think can tell when a guy is going to explode. I moan a little, then tense up right before I release. So I am assuming the girl knows what's about to happen. I assumed wrong. She shrieks as she pulls away her half filled mouth and runs to the bathroom. She rinses her mouth out with water. Then she leans back into the bedroom and shouts. " I Love You ".

Now if didn't know better, I might think this crazy girl had fallen for me. But since I understand sarcasm, I know what she really means was. " you asshole, why did yo cum in my mouth " .

27 comments

  • TheeOSU
    3 years ago
    Lol, send her my way, I promise not to come in he mouth.
  • shailynn
    3 years ago
    That’s when you say “sorry I can’t stop a speeding train.”
  • Warrior15
    3 years ago
    Where else but TUSCL can you tell a story like that ?
  • SirLapdancealot
    3 years ago
    But did you kiss her good-bye?
  • gobstopper007
    3 years ago
    And that’s why the swallow is the bird symbolizing love
  • Cashman1234
    3 years ago
    That’s a great story - and the ending is very funny!

    I appreciate sarcasm. When enjoying a girl OTC - who is a bit younger than me - and who is originally from another country - I know some sarcastic comments might not register. But, I hope the ones that don’t register - don’t offend either.

    Aren’t you supposed to tap on the wall when you are about to cum?

    I remember chatting with a dancer once about some of my more acceptable kinks. I mentioned how hot I found some nuns. She seemed to find that interesting, so we continued chatting about naughty nuns - and our Catholic upbringings (she was from Brazil). I then mentioned how aroused I would get when watching Sally Field flying - and how arousing it might have been if mother superior took her over her knee for a bare bottom spanking. She had no idea what I was talking about. Or maybe I just horrified her to the point of being unable to fake her interest?!
  • CJKent_band
    3 years ago
    @Warrior15

    Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.

    :D

    Good times, good times.

    You should have answered “I know”...

    Maybe she really loves you, you will be surprised how some girls are into falling in love and getting married, they have been planning their dream wedding since they were 12 years old.

    My ATF stripper/Sugar Baby referred to me as “my fiancé”, her sister told me.
  • twentyfive
    3 years ago
    The three oldest lies in the English language are
    1) the check is in the mail
    2) I’ll take care of that first thing in the morning
    3) I promise honey I won’t come in your mouth
  • WavvyCain
    3 years ago
    When she said it you then proceeded to the bathroom to kiss her. She played you, this was her attempt at cum swapping with you.
  • Be_Naughty
    3 years ago
    Omgoodness this story is so touching and I wish I was in her shoes lol, I love sarcasm, orgasm and anal cum in mouth is not bad too just attract a little $, Pick up the phone & contact meDon't be shy !! (469) 423-5875
    MEET UPS , OUTCALLS
    MULTI -HOURS , & OVERNIGHT APPOINTMENTS
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  • twentyfive
    3 years ago
    I thought it was rather ironic that type of low grade sarcasm 🎃
  • shailynn
    3 years ago
    Wow look at BE_NAUGHTY’s profile - what a babe! I think I’ve seen her in some porno vids before. Wow and she doesn’t take cash, just payment apps, what an awesome deal! Hold on, please let me empty my Bitcoin wallet now!
  • SirLapdancealot
    3 years ago
    ^^^ She's a carbon copy of August Ames (RIP)
  • Cashman1234
    3 years ago
    It would seem to be best to avoid using deceased porn star photos when spamming a website of strip clubbers and porn watchers. RIP August.
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    If she's not down with CIM, tell her you'll shout "switch!" when your getting close and she should switch to her hand. And apologize for the CIM, won't cost you a penny.

    Love isn't a yes/no thing, it's a how much thing. If you want to be more than a customer, tell her you'd love to spend more (non-sexual) time with her, but you can't afford more $ than what you're already giving her. See if she takes you up on it.

    It's rare for women to cum from giving a BJ, they do it so we can cum. Many women can't cum from a dick in their vag, also primarily doing it for us. If it's truly important to you to be special to her, you should try to find out what things give her the strongest orgasms, and do them, even if they're not what give you the strongest orgasms. Honestly, she probably gets better orgasms from people she knocks boots with for free. But if she has a non-toxic personality, she'll be charmed by any indication you care what she (sexually and/or non-sexual) likes, and don't assume you know what she does or should like. If she has a toxic personality, she'll take any non-shithead behavior on your part as a sign that you need her desperately, and expect that she can jerk you around even more. But, toxic personalities generally lead to a shitshow, one way or another.
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    Be_Catfishing
  • Muddy
    3 years ago
    The true love of was when she ripped off the condom to blow you but sounds like a keeper to me.

    Wait till you hear what she says Warrior when you lowball her next time, then you’ll really know where the whole thing stands
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    An congrats BTW. I've spend a far amount of time on sugar dating sites, and spent in the high 3 or low 4 figures on meets in public places. Never got anywhere. They were extreme assholes and/or idiots and/or had little clue what they were looking for and/or wanted something more emotionally complicated than I did. Maybe sugar dating can't give me what I want. I'm willing to spend $100 - $200 to meet in a public place, so she can hopefully see that I'll never get torqued at being told no, I'll just politely break it off when it doesn't seem worth it to me. But, after that, I expect it to be like seeing an escort. So could be my bad, not doing the sugar thing properly.
  • twentyfive
    3 years ago
    ^ that’s your problem you shouldn’t be spending a nickel for an initial meeting unless it ends up in a private setting you’re being taken advantage of that why you’re not meeting the right girls, you should pm either Warrior or Subraman because it seems like you aren’t screening these girls properly
  • Warrior15
    3 years ago
    Sugaring is a cross between escorts and real dating. The girls don't want to view themselves as sex workers. So if you treat them as such, they will back away. And the websites are a fair amount of work. It's not like just ordering something from Amazon. You have to almost court these girls. I think what has helped me is that I spent all my life in sales. Rejection doesn't really bother me. Oh, it does, but I get over it quickly. So I'll put out messages to 20 girls, hoping to eventually connect with maybe two. Law of numbers.
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    I wouldn't want to talk anyone into sex work if they were reluctant, as it has lifelong consequences. I've tried with way more than 20, zero success. What websites have you had the best luck on?

    Sugar dating is sex work. So is marrying someone for primarily financial reasons. But living in denial is the secret to some sort of happiness for many people.

    I don't see a sex worker as someone I can be less considerate to than anyone else. So, if a sugar baby wants something more than that, that seems like getting into "more emotionally complicated.
  • twentyfive
    3 years ago
    ^ I did it only a few times back in 2018 & 2019 I used SA but what was a dealbreaker for me was any of the sugar babe s asking for initial meeting money, even if you want to meet an escort would you pay them to have coffee or a drink no sex, I don’t think anyone would, maybe I’m wrong but I think you need to speak with the fellas that do this regularly and work on your screening techniques, I’m not trying to be insulting so please don’t take this that way
  • RandomMember
    3 years ago
    @Warrior: "The girls don't want to view themselves as sex workers. "
    ______________________
    More importantly, on TUSCL the aging men don't want to think of themselves as johns. The girls I've been with know what's going on.
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    Random broad generalizations.
  • herbtcat
    3 years ago
    This why I keep a travel-size tooth brush, tooth paste, and mouthwash in the side cabinet panel in my bathroom. When a new/diff SB is coming over, I pop in a new set and she feels special. Then I raw dog her from behind, because... why not.
  • pistola
    3 years ago
    Post= thumbs up.
  • jackslash
    3 years ago
    I would take the sugar baby at her word.

    I know strippers who take it in the mouth without flinching. No extra charge.
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