Ya know. If you really NEED to do #1, then #2 is probably not going to happen. Or is it if you really need to go #2 then you can't do #2 ? Those numbers should be turned around so the dump is #2 !
While a big dump is kinda satisfying, if it's really that big of a deal for you, I think you might need more fiber, roughage, etc.
And it really should be over in a minute of two.
The build up to it is not enjoyable.
But an orgasm, maybe it's over just as quickly, but the sensation building up to it over at least 10-15 minutes is enjoyable enough in itself.
Okay, it's kind of private info but I'll tell you this because we're all friends here, right?
I recently bought a bidet seat for my toilet. Not a cheap piece of junk, a pretty good one for like $500. (Some of the Japanese bidets are like a whole separate bowl and cost a few thousand, but I don't have room in the bathroom for one of those.) This thing is amazing. It replaces your regular toilet seat with a simple plumbing connection and electric cord. It cleans your ass better than you can imagine.
Sometimes I don't even have to shit at all, and when the bidet shoots that stream of heated water up my ass I can't believe how much crap comes out. It has a remote control with several functions, a "vortex" that blasts entirely up your ass and fills your colon until you spray out the water and shit, and a gentle cleanse that just sprays the outside. There's also a female setting that cleans her coochie, but if you use it accidentally it just sprays your balls, which isn't bad but it's surprising.
Either of the ass cleaning functions is way better than using toilet paper. It also has a warm air blower that dries your ass cheeks, but I usually use a few squares of TP to dab it dry because the air takes too long. It's such a good clean feeling that now I schedule my entire life around taking dumps because if I have to shit outside of my home I feel disgusting after.
That said, I'm not sure if a LDK is better - it's a close call. A BBBJCIM is better for sure, with LDK and bidet cleansing a tie for second place.
I think the real question is when you really have to do either #1 or #2, which is the better relief? I mean, ahh hell, if you gotta piss real bad it sucks, but there are easy ways to relieve yourself. My favorite is to pull over on the highway and raise the hood of my car like I'm having engine trouble. Even though I piss all over my car bumper, it's pretty good. (Ladies, you can open the door of the car and squat by the curb. No problem).
On the other hand, you can hold that dump in for a long time by sitting on something hard like a brick wall, and the urge to shit goes away after a minute or so. But dammit it comes back in like 5 minutes. You can put it off for a while but eventually you're gonna shit your pants. Worst case, you shit on the side of the road - which I've done a few times. I've used newspaper to clean up, and once my wife's silk scarf which I left on the road and told her the dry cleaner must have lost it.
I guess shit and piss are about equal - it all depends on how bad you have to go and how much waste is backed up in your system. I won't tolerate it very long. I'll pull over and do my business - piss, or shit if I really have to.
Any of you PLs wanna go clubbing with me? Lol.
Anyway, the eat plenty of fiber, drink plenty of liquids advice. To further elaborate, one should drink at least 64 oz. of water, or 1/2 your weight in ounces, whichever is greater. (i.e. a 150 lb. person should drink at least 75 oz. of water, a 200 lb. average tuscl member should drink 100 oz. of water per day, and so on.) Coffee and colas are diuretics that make you pee before water has a chance to make your intestine contents more soluble. So caffeine can be a stimulant of sorts if you've already drank plenty of water.
On the flip side, avoid/minimize salty foods (think pizzas, potato chips, pretzels, etc) which tend to plug you up. Foods in the BRAT category (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast, which are suggested to ingest if you have diarrhea) should also be minimized.
There was a thread on tuscl a while ago asking if one has ever shit in a strip club rest room. When I have more time, I may share my post there in a future posting.
LDK and it's not even close.
Also better than a good shit is the shiver you sometimes get when peeing on a full bladder and losing all that heat so fast.
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