Ugh 😫 sometimes I just feel like a total nympho 🤭🤪🤣

Rob you lol.

Juice would sniff your panties and spill bbq sauce all over you.

Jackslash would read you a bedtime story.

Rick Dugan would try to hire you as a nanny for his kids at $6 an hour.

I would make you explain the Federal Reserve's monetary policy.

I’d tell you about all the skeletons in my closets...

As you rub the lotion on my body...

Anyone else getting a stiffy?

@jackslash I would totally give all my cash to get a hand job in the VIP from a girl who could explain monetary policy. That's HAWT!

“Oh yeah baby, with me all night long you will be cumming faster and harder than the money printer”

BRRRRR 😂

@Founder can we please disable emojis? Kthxbye

We can finally plan a bake sale together without all those distractions. Thank god.

And if that’s too much to handle then I can meet you in the middle and build a fort out of VIP.

I would say "pull my finger" and fart sooooo hard!

What my boyfriend said was...

"suck on your tiny clit until you came and eventually sucking your entire clit into my mouth while my thumb works your pussy deep rubbing your G

then pour ranch dressing on you and tell you i came all over you..."

^ the ranch is because he can't get off to yucky vaginas.

What he would really do is...

suck on your tiny dick until you came and eventually sucking your entire balls into my mouth while my thumb works your ass hole deep rubbing your prostate

You handle the tickle me Elmo and I’ll masturbate.

And this is where "dear Penthouse" letters come from...

I would slide you K that's sure to get your juices flowing, throw my coat over you hustle you out the back door to the nearest 5 star hotel. Order room service and fresh batteries, slide in between those silk sheets and we'll watch reruns of I Love Lucy to the wee hours of the morning. You in?

🤣🤣🤣 @these responses 😝

Suplex you and then act shy when you notice I LDK'd.

So nobody wants to fuck me? 🥺😢😭

"So nobody wants to fuck me?"

Oh Hell yes .. I can mute Lucy😁

I probably want to fuck you. Whether or not you want to fuck me is another question.I'm old, fat, ugly, and I have a small dick. I'd prefer to start off with a little bit of conversation and maybe some heavy petting.

Still interested?