Dumb ass things
FONDL
What's the dumbest thing you've ever seen in a club, either a policy or some action by a dancer or other worker? Here's my "dumb" award.
I once went to check out two clubs with the same address in Binghamton, NY. Turns out it's really two halves of the same place with two different names in a little strip mall. One's a nude club at one end of the mall, the other's a topless place at the other end of the mall - you have to go outside and pass a couple other place to get from one to the other. So I stick my head in the nude place, nothing's going on, no customers, no one on stage. So I go to the topless place, there are a few customers and dancers, so I sit down, have a beer, watch some stage dancing, and find a girl I like. We sit and talk for a bit, then I ask about private dances. Yes they have them, but you have to go to the other place. But she can go with me (apparently some of the girls will do this, some won't.) So we walk outside and down a couple doors to the nude place and go in. Still nothing is happening, no one on stage - she tells me the girls there aren't allowed to dance until they have a certain number of customers (5? I don't remember.) So I get a couple of private dances from her, then she leaves and heads back to the topless place. By now my curiousity has gotten the better of me so I sit and wait to see what's going to happen. I must have seen 10 or 12 potential customers stick their heads in the door, look around, then leave. If there had been a dancer on stage they would have had a bunch of customers by then. But nobody ever danced, although there were a couple of dancers sitting at the bar the whole time, and I remained the only customer. I finally left and never did see a nude dancer. Does this make any sense to anyone?
I once went to check out two clubs with the same address in Binghamton, NY. Turns out it's really two halves of the same place with two different names in a little strip mall. One's a nude club at one end of the mall, the other's a topless place at the other end of the mall - you have to go outside and pass a couple other place to get from one to the other. So I stick my head in the nude place, nothing's going on, no customers, no one on stage. So I go to the topless place, there are a few customers and dancers, so I sit down, have a beer, watch some stage dancing, and find a girl I like. We sit and talk for a bit, then I ask about private dances. Yes they have them, but you have to go to the other place. But she can go with me (apparently some of the girls will do this, some won't.) So we walk outside and down a couple doors to the nude place and go in. Still nothing is happening, no one on stage - she tells me the girls there aren't allowed to dance until they have a certain number of customers (5? I don't remember.) So I get a couple of private dances from her, then she leaves and heads back to the topless place. By now my curiousity has gotten the better of me so I sit and wait to see what's going to happen. I must have seen 10 or 12 potential customers stick their heads in the door, look around, then leave. If there had been a dancer on stage they would have had a bunch of customers by then. But nobody ever danced, although there were a couple of dancers sitting at the bar the whole time, and I remained the only customer. I finally left and never did see a nude dancer. Does this make any sense to anyone?
23 comments
There is a club in Phoenix that has a prime location in a crappy neighborhood with a plentiful supply of crack whores, and heavy traffic on the street outside. Despite these obvious advantages, it is poorly attended and poorly rated in TUSCL. Why? Well, maybe it is because of the following things: 1) the floors, walls, and ceiling, all of which have not been visited by a cleaning implement in 25 years; 2) the lack of a DJ or even a jukebox, and music supplied by the girls with their own CDs and a boombox; 3) a private dance area that consists of a few chairs on one side of the stage that look suspiciously like the arrangement on the other side of the stage; and 4) an oddly conceived dance price of $41, in which $20 goes to the dancer and $21 goes to the exceptionally cheap and greedy management.
Who wants to create an international strip club management consulting firm? We could call it Boozer, Fondler and Lapper, LLC. I want to be a field auditor. Who wants to be CEO?
They will play their music when its thier turn in rotation and then just sit down at the bar..
Me on thee other hand, always go on stage when its my turn, sometimes I am the only girl who does, my reasoning behind this has always been
" You never know who is going to walk in the door"
Why would anyone want to spend money that they worked for on someone who isn't willing to do thier job themsevles...
I once visited Pleasures in Columbia SC. They required me to register but did not ask for ID. I put down phony info and then got patted down by the door girl. It was more like getting felt up. I went in and got a drink. Nastiest looking dancers I have ever seen.Butt ugly doesn't begin to describe how awful. I finished my drink in 5 minutes and left. Worst club I have ever been in. On reflection, I think that the registration was a way the club used to protect themselves from LE investigations.
My regular club used to have pretty basic stage lighting. Not bad but nothing fancy. The DJ believed it should be fancy. However, the club didn't want to pay anything for it. So the DJ took it upon himself to design, spec, purchase and install a fancy new lighting system - on the cheap - all by himself. This despite the fact that he didn't know the first thing about stage lighting. But how complicated could it be for a guy who knows how to operate a CD player and talk into a microphone, right? Rather complicated, as it turned out.
Apparently, his chief qualification was having a contact who got him a good price on a fancy control board. From the start, you couldn't help but notice the change, because lights were constantly changing color, flashing and swooping around the room for no apparent reason. It looked like an amateur light show with, oh by the way, a girl taking her clothes off. Even when the lights weren't moving or blinking, his placement choices were less than expert, like harsh overheads that brought out the flaws in dancers' skin. He had installed directional lights aimed out into the audience so that from certain seats you couldn't look towards the girl onstage without getting blinded. Needless to say, management was delighted with the showy upgrade and kept the dude on for five more years of blathering and knob twiddling before shitcanning him over some personal squabble.
I agree with evilcyn.... if I walked into her club and didn't see any dancer on stage, I'd have walked out!
Like FONDL mentioned.... I was recently in a Zanesville,OH club (Doc's Place or something like that). LD booths are in basement. Security/Bouncer escorts you and the dancer downstairs. You pay him, he gives a slip of paper to the dancer, and in the booth you go (without bouncer). hehehe If a second dance is wanted, give the money to the dancer, she leaves the booth & pays the bouncer and returns. All that wasted time!
In general the DUMBEST things some dancers to it spend the majority of the time in the dressing rooms! How ya' going to make money in there?
1) In a club in Akron, girls were only allowed to do 2 dances in a row (then they had to take at least a one song break). I was dumbfounded.
2) In a variety of clubs, the tee-shirt or baseball cap hustle, in which girls are forced to peddle these things to guys who would rather spend their money on dances, rather than memorabilia their wife might not appreciate.
3) The whole ticket/coupon and money shuffle thing, as described by others, wherein the girl is not allowed to handle the money ('cuz the girls cheat and the management is greedy)
4) The buy-the-girl-a-drink hustle, which in my opinion only serves to piss off the majority of customers
5) Incredibly loud music, presumably the result of the DJ going deaf; it supresses conversation, gives you a headache, and drives you back out on the street
6) three song dance sets; she stays clothed for song one, top off for song two, etc. In one club in Dallas, there are 7 stages, and each girl rotates through them all, so if you spot your honey on stage 1, you might as well take a nap.
Oh, enough of this griping. Clearly many places survive despite being badly run, which probably says something about dumb-ass customers rather than club management. Damn it!
Oh, you meant strip-club related.....well the only thing I can think of at the moment is the odd rules at Industrial Strip in Hammond, IN. But it's the result of state and local laws, not club management. Pasties or band-aids and bottoms while on stage -- the bottoms do come off during private dances but most girls keep the band-aids on unless you get multiple sets (a set is 3 dances for $55). Most of the girls' dances are close-up-naked-pussy-in-your-face as one can ask for, but yet the nipples are covered - freaky. They also can't even have outdoor signage advertising it is a strip club - their sign only says: "This IS it" (of course, the IS = Industrial Strip).
Just across the border from Detroit.
Escorting is legal.
Women are allowed to be topless anywhere anytime (it’s ok for men so equal rights makes it alright for women also).
Drinking age is 19.
Strip clubs are fully nude and all serve a full menu of alcoholic beverages (Canadian beer is much higher in alcohol than American beer).
Close enough to Montreal to attract lots of super hot sexy French Canadian dancers.
You would think with all that going for it that Windsor would be the Mecca for strip club patrons. Instead they pass a no lap dance ordinance turning all private dances into air dances. - “dumb ass award nominee – how to f--- up a good thingâ€.
Bones7599- Something similar happens at the Maverick's in Sioux City, Iowa, only the lapdance booth is just off the main floor, the bouncer is right outside the door, and if you want a second dance, the bouncer bursts in and you have to pay him. I just think it kills the momentum, although it would really be helpful there if they actually had anyone you'd want a dance from.
Bones - ever been clubbing in Erie, that's not far from you?
I supposed they had trouble with girls ripping them off on dance counts or something.
I was just getting ready to pack my bags & move north...and then I read your last paragraph.
Bummer.
Still worth considering, tho....the other items mentioned would be well worth the move!
Way back in the day, in a strip club far far away I was sitting at the bar. Being my 3rd excursion into this my only club experience to date, I felt like I was getting "regular" status. I still felt the thrill of being somewhere I probably should not be starting to get comfortable in what was becoming familiar territiory. I'd had exactly one lap dance to that point and it was on my second visit. The girl was stunningly attractive, more like a model than a dancer. It was fun and exciting and very tame(by today's standards), but at the time it was a 10 because that's all I knew.
So, as I nurse my drink up comes Ms Model and sits down right next to me. She begins the conversation with "what took you so long to come back"? She then leans into me and whispers in my ear, "I didn't get to drain your cock down my throat before because you high tailed it outta here too fast last time"...and yes, like the movies I proceeded to spill my drink all over her sexy little outfit. I didn't have a clue about this stuff back then. So, one of the dumbest things I've seen in a strip club was the reflection in the bar mirror of my face at that moment.