As if there wasn't enough problems going on..

“ That’s a fine pickle he’s gotten hiself into” Stan Laurel

Was Lorena Bobbitt in the area?

Outlaw kosher dills! There's no reason for anyone to have anything bigger than a mini gherkin.

^ hold up - AFAIK pickles are protected by the 2nd amendment

That is why anti-pickle nuts demand that all pickles be made into pickle chips, which must be tossed like a small frisbee and are very inaccurate.

Ban assault pickles

A pickle? What a little front butt. That dude needs to sack up.

I got hit in the eye once with a jalapeno tho and it hurt like hell.

@Longball. Now I just got a flashback to when I got lime juice squirted in my eye because the bartender was too aggressive with squeezing the lime while making my margarita.

Yeah, the lemon / lime squirt.... we all have had that one happen.

Then there's the other type of "squirt" right Eve?

I have a feeling many tuscl members are working with mini gherkins. So we can all breathe that much easier. #ifyouknowwhatI'msaying

^ small-penis-lives-matter you biggot

There's gotta be an even smaller variety of pickled cucumbers that beats the mini gherkins' size.

@Eve, are you talking about me?

I am sick and tired of all the talk about banning pickles. That is just treating the symptoms. The issue is cucumbers. I am not saying we should completely ban cucumbers, but they must be regulated and only sold in sliced form of a safe thickness. I propose any cucumber slice thicker than 3/4 inch should be classified as an assault cucumber.

@Fish, I think you called yourself out.

@goldmonger. Does that assault sizing scale also apply to . . .
. . .
nevermind.

It's not just cucumbers. Can you imagine getting hit with a pickled pigs foot?

@Eve, one day you will have to see for yourself.

On the OP maybe the reporters forgot to add it was still in the jar?

There are perfectly legitimate reasons to own a cucumber. For example, when I make my fancy spa water. I'm a very fancy man and I need my spa water.

"... There are perfectly legitimate reasons to own a cucumber ..."

Or when one is walking down the beach in a speedo and wants to make a positive impression - completely-legit IMO

do it at home pregnancy test. girl goes to kitchen, takes a pickle from the jar. inserts pickle into her twat. seconds later pulls out the pickle and finds bite marks on it.

Rattdog I don't know what kind of girl you hang around but if that happened to the pickle make sure you don't stick anything else in there.

pickles? We don't need no stinking pickles!

I have a family of rabbits that live in my back yard and they won't eat the carrots I throw out on my lawn for them. What the fuck is this world coming to?

Are you throwing the carrots from the "right" or the "left" hand? I understand that rabbits can be stubbornly partisan.

^^ BabyDoc
Of course from the right. But I have no problem with "free love" so I don't know why the bunnies are against me. Lol.

I have a Russian mother-in-law who likes to make rabbit stew. They should be happy I don't set her loose on them.

What a dumb ass/

If it was a Vlassic, fine. If it was a Claussen that is a waste of a damn good pickle.

Instead of focusing on throwing perhaps a topic should be one catching
https://youtu.be/_v9qwrpXIbA