As if there wasn't enough problems going on..

30 comments

• twentyfive

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  4 years ago

  “ That’s a fine pickle he’s gotten hiself into” Stan Laurel
• bubba267

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  4 years ago

  Was Lorena Bobbitt in the area?
• Subraman

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  4 years ago

  Outlaw kosher dills! There's no reason for anyone to have anything bigger than a mini gherkin.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  ^ hold up - AFAIK pickles are protected by the 2nd amendment
• skibum609

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  4 years ago

  That is why anti-pickle nuts demand that all pickles be made into pickle chips, which must be tossed like a small frisbee and are very inaccurate.
• ime

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  4 years ago

  Ban assault pickles
• Longball300

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  4 years ago

  A pickle? What a little front butt. That dude needs to sack up.
  
  I got hit in the eye once with a jalapeno tho and it hurt like hell.
• Eve

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  4 years ago

  @Longball. Now I just got a flashback to when I got lime juice squirted in my eye because the bartender was too aggressive with squeezing the lime while making my margarita.
• Longball300

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  4 years ago

  Yeah, the lemon / lime squirt.... we all have had that one happen.
  
  Then there's the other type of "squirt" right Eve?
• Subraman

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  4 years ago

  I have a feeling many tuscl members are working with mini gherkins. So we can all breathe that much easier. #ifyouknowwhatI'msaying
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  ^ small-penis-lives-matter you biggot
• Eve

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  4 years ago

  There's gotta be an even smaller variety of pickled cucumbers that beats the mini gherkins' size.
• FishHawk

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  4 years ago

  @Eve, are you talking about me?
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  I am sick and tired of all the talk about banning pickles. That is just treating the symptoms. The issue is cucumbers. I am not saying we should completely ban cucumbers, but they must be regulated and only sold in sliced form of a safe thickness. I propose any cucumber slice thicker than 3/4 inch should be classified as an assault cucumber.
• Eve

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  4 years ago

  @Fish, I think you called yourself out.
  
  @goldmonger. Does that assault sizing scale also apply to . . .
  . . .
  nevermind.
• shadowcat

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  4 years ago

  It's not just cucumbers. Can you imagine getting hit with a pickled pigs foot?
• FishHawk

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  4 years ago

  @Eve, one day you will have to see for yourself.
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  On the OP maybe the reporters forgot to add it was still in the jar?
• Subraman

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  4 years ago

  There are perfectly legitimate reasons to own a cucumber. For example, when I make my fancy spa water. I'm a very fancy man and I need my spa water.
• Papi_Chulo

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  4 years ago

  "... There are perfectly legitimate reasons to own a cucumber ..."
  
  Or when one is walking down the beach in a speedo and wants to make a positive impression - completely-legit IMO
• rattdog

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  4 years ago

  do it at home pregnancy test. girl goes to kitchen, takes a pickle from the jar. inserts pickle into her twat. seconds later pulls out the pickle and finds bite marks on it.
• whodey

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  4 years ago

  Rattdog I don't know what kind of girl you hang around but if that happened to the pickle make sure you don't stick anything else in there.
• Mr_O

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  4 years ago

  pickles? We don't need no stinking pickles!
• misterorange

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  4 years ago

  I have a family of rabbits that live in my back yard and they won't eat the carrots I throw out on my lawn for them. What the fuck is this world coming to?
• BabyDoc

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  4 years ago

  Are you throwing the carrots from the "right" or the "left" hand? I understand that rabbits can be stubbornly partisan.
• misterorange

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  4 years ago

  ^^ BabyDoc
  Of course from the right. But I have no problem with "free love" so I don't know why the bunnies are against me. Lol.
• misterorange

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  4 years ago

  I have a Russian mother-in-law who likes to make rabbit stew. They should be happy I don't set her loose on them.
• bang69

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  4 years ago

  What a dumb ass/
• pistola

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  4 years ago

  If it was a Vlassic, fine. If it was a Claussen that is a waste of a damn good pickle.
• elmer

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  4 years ago

  Instead of focusing on throwing perhaps a topic should be one catching
  https://youtu.be/_v9qwrpXIbA