After sex, what’s the most awkward thing you could say to kill the moment?

How’s mom doing ?

Ouch, those sores really hurt!

I realize that I was by myself

Him> how much did I drink
Her> is that it/are you finished already

Gal: you can put it in me now
Guy: I already did

and the doctor said herpes, if left untreated, could cause impotence......

Hi, Dave.

Still catching our breath, looked over to see our wide eyed 2 year old toddler.

Smelled better than I expected.

From her:
"yeah, that was okay."
"I hear doggie style increases my chances of having a boy."
"that's weird. I have an Aunt Bronywn that lives in Poughkeepsie as well."
From him:
"Would you mind waiting outside for your Uber?"

Your breath smells like semen.

My dick is bigger than yours. 😈

Q) What sexual position makes the ugliest babies ?
A) Ask your mom !

Where's my change?

Can you pop that zit while your back there?

Whoops condom broke

John [aka waifu fan club member] : wtf..............youuuuuuuu're.......real..........real human, not a sexbot......

Call 911........I'm dying...........touched............real human flesh...............panic attack............[unintelligible]

Hands down it has to be this from the movie liar liar

https://youtu.be/VOZbfgZiks4

This morning my COVID-19 test result was positive.

For a fat girl you don't sweat much!

"oh damnit, my herpes blisters just reopened "

Do you rememer where I put the shovel and the lyme?

Is there any Listerine or mouthwash in your medicine cabinet?

Would you like to join my organization?

Can we invite him next time?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BG48ENgCEAAI…

Did you gain weight?
Soo....what's your name again?
We won't be doing THAT again!

Her - "let me know when you're in"

Me - "I *am* in"


Talk about a performance-killer

Would you like to join my organization?

Please, inhale deeply from this cloth rag [soaked with chloroform]

"... I forgot to take my pill today."

Damn baby, that was some great pussy. It was much tighter than I was expecting.

Damn, there are some real gems in this list that made me laugh. Well done.

What’s that smell?

Have fun taking care of my baby.

“Can you please drive me to CVS? I need to get the Plan B (One-Step Emergency) Contraceptive Tablet”

After the second time we had sex me and my ATF stop using condoms, because we were engaged (she would refer time as her fiancé)

:)

My doctor is going to be pissed when I tell him about this. He told me not to have any sexual contact under any circumstances until he get's the test results back to see if this is contagious. I should probably give you his card so you can make an appointment if you start to experience any symptoms.

Are you Covid-19 negative?

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

I usually say - “That was a nice change from masturbation.”

But to really kill it “I should have saved my money, and jerked off instead. It would have been much more enjoyable.”

Now clean up this room before mom gets home!

Next time, close the door to the confessional!

Do I still get my merit badge?