"Do you have time to complete a quick satisfaction survey?"
Give me your best mood killers.
After sex, what’s the most awkward thing you could say to kill the moment?
EveWhere there's a hole, there's a way. [HIATUS]
"Do you have time to complete a quick satisfaction survey?"
Give me your best mood killers.
Comments
last commentHow’s mom doing ?
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Ouch, those sores really hurt!
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I realize that I was by myself
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Him> how much did I drink
Her> is that it/are you finished already
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Gal: you can put it in me now
Guy: I already did
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and the doctor said herpes, if left untreated, could cause impotence......
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Hi, Dave.
Still catching our breath, looked over to see our wide eyed 2 year old toddler.
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Smelled better than I expected.
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From her:
"yeah, that was okay."
"I hear doggie style increases my chances of having a boy."
"that's weird. I have an Aunt Bronywn that lives in Poughkeepsie as well."
From him:
"Would you mind waiting outside for your Uber?"
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Your breath smells like semen.
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My dick is bigger than yours. 😈
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Q) What sexual position makes the ugliest babies ?
A) Ask your mom !
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Where's my change?
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Can you pop that zit while your back there?
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Whoops condom broke
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John [aka waifu fan club member] : wtf..............youuuuuuuu're.......real..........real human, not a sexbot......
Call 911........I'm dying...........touched............real human flesh...............panic attack............[unintelligible]
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Hands down it has to be this from the movie liar liar
youtu.be
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This morning my COVID-19 test result was positive.
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For a fat girl you don't sweat much!
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"oh damnit, my herpes blisters just reopened "
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Do you rememer where I put the shovel and the lyme?
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Is there any Listerine or mouthwash in your medicine cabinet?
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Would you like to join my organization?
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Can we invite him next time?
pbs.twimg.com
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Did you gain weight?
Soo....what's your name again?
We won't be doing THAT again!
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Her - "let me know when you're in"
Me - "I am in"
Talk about a performance-killer
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Would you like to join my organization?
Please, inhale deeply from this cloth rag [soaked with chloroform]
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"... I forgot to take my pill today."
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Damn baby, that was some great pussy. It was much tighter than I was expecting.
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Damn, there are some real gems in this list that made me laugh. Well done.
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What’s that smell?
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Have fun taking care of my baby.
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“Can you please drive me to CVS? I need to get the Plan B (One-Step Emergency) Contraceptive Tablet”
After the second time we had sex me and my ATF stop using condoms, because we were engaged (she would refer time as her fiancé)
:)
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My doctor is going to be pissed when I tell him about this. He told me not to have any sexual contact under any circumstances until he get's the test results back to see if this is contagious. I should probably give you his card so you can make an appointment if you start to experience any symptoms.
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Are you Covid-19 negative?
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
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I usually say - “That was a nice change from masturbation.”
But to really kill it “I should have saved my money, and jerked off instead. It would have been much more enjoyable.”
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Now clean up this room before mom gets home!
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Next time, close the door to the confessional!
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Do I still get my merit badge?
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