tuscl

SA close call

Tuesday, January 14, 2020 4:19 PM
Another close call on SA. It's a cold day in your typical midwest college town. I had arranged a noon meet with a new 21 year old at the hotel bar. Her SA account was only a week or so newly created. Looks were good on the site, and she showed up on time AND looking a little BETTER than her pictures. She guzzled 3 mixed drinks while I sipped a couple beers.... as i had an afternoon meeting later. She then suggests we head to my room at the hotel. After a bit of small talk, I learn she used to be a dancer. I did NOT recognize her, but i dont get to this town often. Once she tells me her dancer name i immediately remember. While shes gained 10 or 15 pounds since I'd seen her last about 1.5 or 2 years ago, she was still looking fine. Arriving at the room, I notice its snowing. Hard. Didnt think much of it. We had an enjoyable time and I was satisfied. She quickly gets herself put back together and says she had to get going, hoping to see me again soon. Didn't think much of it until an hour later. She texts me a picture of her totalled car. Thank God shes not injured, nor cited for DWI. Thoughts running through my head...... should have sent her home in an Uber. If she was hurt... am I somehow liable for buying her the drinks? Was she really 21? All is well that ends well, I guess. Close call.

11 comments

  • Papi_Chulo
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    4 years ago
    Seems a lot of stuff happens to many a stripper - seems to kinda go w/ the territory. But yeah - kinda a bit of PL-food-for-thought about dancers possibly being under-the-influence while in one's company OTC and the possible ramifications - not that I necessarily think you'd be liable, but more so as to kinda look out for her. May also apply to a dancer hanging w/ us ITC and whether we should keep buying drinks for her if she already looks a bit intoxicated.
  • K
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    4 years ago
    "should have sent her home in an Uber." - Yes. your liability has nothing to do with it. Or have her stay over.
  • Papi_Chulo
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    4 years ago
    Hindsight is 20/20 - but I guess having her eat something to soak-up that alcohol, and having a strong-coffee, may be kosher if one thinks she may be impaired.
  • Pk11sweethard
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    4 years ago
    Curious: do you guys know of a SA sugar baby review/encounter site? I had an interaction with someone I met on SA and she said her former SB sent her screen shots of what he had said about her on a review site. She said it wasn't Reddit. Is there a site devoted to that? I don't think ECCIE.
  • herbtcat
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    4 years ago
    Hmm... excellent topic for discussion. I see several angles that bear exploration here: 1. Ethics: From an ethical POV, I think you had an obligation to help her get safely home (or wherever). Not because she's an SB, but because you have a moral obligation to anyone who might be impaired and you see they probably should not be driving. The situation would be the same if this was a "regular" date, a friend at a party, or a work colleague at a "business lunch." She may not have accepted your Uber or other offer, but I think you erred in not connecting the dots between 3 drinks and bad weather. 2. Legal - From your POV: I don't think you are on the hook for the type of liability (medical, car repairs, property damage, time lost from work, etc.) that may come from a lawsuit or criminal investigation. She's 21, was there on her own volition, ordered the drinks herself, did not commit any crimes (except DUI), and you did not coerce her in any way. But... 3. Legal from her POV: If I was her lawyer (I am not a lawyer) and she asked me to sue you, I'd go to town on you full throttle. I'd suggest you coerced her into prostitution (you didn't), you deliberately pumped her full of booze (you did not), you threw her out of the room when you were finished "using" her (you did not) and you did it all with negligent indifference to her needs or incapacitated condition (again, you did not). These arguments would probably, ultimately fail as the actual laws are on your side. But you might have to see all this play out in court in front of a jury and perhaps in the local press. And, if the lawyer finds out you were at the hotel as part of your regular work hours or work assignment, he'd likely sue your employer for negligence for not properly supervising you. So you would have to fully disclose your Sugaring to your boss and company, risking your job, professional reputation, and possibly retirement benefits. So ultimately, I don't think the important question is "Am I liable?" The important question is "Do I want to go through the process of proving I am not liable?" You might want to follow up with her and see if she's ok, needs help with car repairs (even if it means giving her a few hundies) and generally express your concern for her and willingness to help her "get back on her feet" (pun not intended, though it's a pretty funny pun). And from a Sugaring POV, that's the right thing to do as well, assuming you'd like the option of seeing her again the next time you are around her area.
  • skibum609
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    4 years ago
    Ethical: Three drinks in the time span you indicate means she was below .08% and not under the influence. You are not responsible for the fact 99% of people cannot drive in bad weather. Legal: As long as you do not serve or over serve her, you have no liabilty. A lawyer who threatened to expose you to embarrassment and the cheating aspect of your act, without a viable case, is guiolty of the crime of extortion and has committed a BBO offense (ethical violation). The case would never make it beyond the pleading stage, let alone get to a jury trial. 12(b)(6) Motion to dimiss for failure to state a claim upon which relief may be granted. If she was fun, see her again. If you judge your women by their driving ability, find another.
  • 3131
    •
    4 years ago
    She did not appear intoxicated. Total elapsed time from her first drink to leaving.... about 3 hours. Was she 0.08 % ? I really doubt it, but I'm not sure how potent the cocktails were. I fully agree with everyone. I wish I'd sent her home in uber. But, I also believe she would have declined the uber.
  • 3131
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    4 years ago
    Follow up. She is not injured. I'm actually surprised she hasn't asked for any cash
  • Subraman
    •
    4 years ago
    -->"And, if the lawyer finds out you were at the hotel as part of your regular work hours or work assignment, he'd likely sue your employer for negligence for not properly supervising you." herb, are you a lawyer, or just playing one? In any case, this is a very interesting point. Believe it or not, lo these many years, I have always "officially" taken vacation hours from work, whenever I go to the SC, OTC, or meet an SB. I'm not closely supervised and no one really keeps track of where I am anyway, but I've always had this light instinct that it'd be safest to officially be off work during these times. As a result, if anyone looked back at my vacation pattern, they'd find a huge amount of my vacation is taken in half-days! I work in the morning, head to SC/OTC/SB in the afternoon.
  • herbtcat
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    4 years ago
    @Subraman. I am not a lawyer, as disclosed above. And to be clear, I do not believe that "strategy" would ever prevail in court. And @skibum609 pointed out why. BUT a disreputable lawyer may take any number of actions/send any number of threat letters to the OP that will harass him to the point convincing him to take stupid action, like paying off the lawyer/girl, or "getting ahead of the problem" by telling his wife/family and employers. Just having to discuss it with those groups will presumably be a disaster for him. I think it's important recognize that the standard of "I will in in court" or "I won't get convicted of that crime" is the wrong way to think about legal risks. The process to get to a "good" verdict is always costly and almost always embarrassing; arrest/suit filed, discovery/subpoenas, interrogations/depositions, and then repeat with every one you know who might be impacted or implicated... So yes, he will prevail in court, but at what costs to him, his family, and his career?
  • max_starr
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    4 years ago
    i don't know many strippers who would sue you for that...I'm glad she was uninjured....I know a couple who would send you picture of a fake wrecked car to get a few bucks though! Glad you didn't have on of those as well.
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