My First After
Cristobal
I give in to sin because you have to make this life livable
While cleaning out my text conversations, I read through a thread of messages with a young lady (civvie) who I hung out with for two years (2015-2017), she was much younger than me and my first after divorce interest.
We would hang out in coffee shops, go to movies, dinner, and shopping.
While we expressed our feelings for each other numerous times, I was unable to move the relationship to an intimate level and eventually we both moved on.
Ironically, I was able to have sex with women I had no feelings for.
After reading the text conversations I reflected on what could have been and I realized I was not ready at the time to be intimate with someone I cared about.
Have you been in a relationship without being intimate? If so, for how long and why?
We would hang out in coffee shops, go to movies, dinner, and shopping.
While we expressed our feelings for each other numerous times, I was unable to move the relationship to an intimate level and eventually we both moved on.
Ironically, I was able to have sex with women I had no feelings for.
After reading the text conversations I reflected on what could have been and I realized I was not ready at the time to be intimate with someone I cared about.
Have you been in a relationship without being intimate? If so, for how long and why?
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7 comments
Wow, what a cool story.
I was not ready for another relationship so soon after my divorce but now that I am ready I do not want one because I am having too much fun without a relationship.
Try it once, get a dance from someone without the conversation, it can be a liberating experience.
While lap dances can be intimate experiences, you do not need a connection with the dancer to have a good time.
Being able to hold a conversation is just a bonus, but not exactly necessary for me. Most girls I find are very capable of shooting the shit and talking about whatever. But if those dances aren't slutty then I could care less about her conversation.
When clubbing I am looking for a great dance, so the conversation (and connection) is secondary.
Relating original post experience helped me to realize I was not ready for an intimate relationship, I didn't not want to get too close to anyone.
Funny how things work out because now that I could be close to someone I choose not to because this lifestyle is so much fun.
But I suspect that most of us (especially the older guys) put ourselves in the friend zone, rather than being placed there by her.
When we hesitate to close the deal, she will close the door to thinking about us a potential sex partner. The longer you wait to express a desire to get her naked, the harder it will be for her to accept the idea, assuming she would be interested in the first place.
So, if you act platonic, you get platonic.
Before you could take your time and court her before the relationship became intimate.
Now it seems if you do not jump into the sack by the second date, she noves on.
At that time I was not ready (though two years is probably too long) to be intimate with someone I cared about.
No I could care less about intimacy and caring just want a willing and hot chick.