Who'd You Rather: Kira Kener vs. Shyla Stylez

AnonymousJim
Scanning the room from the back
This is the first of a few "awkward" matchups. You'll see what I mean. Nonetheless, we'll see what happens.

A refresher on the principles:

1. I started posting pictures of hot naked women to my profile one night with no intention of making a bracket. I was encouraged to add more and ended up with 64, a good bracket number. So we have a bracket.

2. We have four "regions": Pornstars, B-Movie Actresses, Celebrities and Models, with the last being a catch-all for overflow from, and those who didn't fit nicely into, the other three categories.

3. I've seeded them, but I'm not revealing the seeds so that the seeding doesn't influence your vote. The ladies will be listed in alphabetical order in a given matchup. I've been way off on the seeds thus far, given who's won.

4. I'll give you a pic, a clip and a short bio for each.

5. Your job is simple: Comment with who you'd rather.

6. In the first round, you also have the option to say 'Neither', as in you'd pass on both. 'Both' is not a valid option, doesn't get counted and is basically a waste of your time to post, though many do it anyway.

7. Theoretically, you're supposed to be evaluating the ladies in their prime, not necessarily as they are now. Most have done a good job of this. This poll will start to put that to the test.

8. Polls last about two days.

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Pornstar Bracket: Kira KENER vs. Shyla STYLEZ

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Kira KENER

34DD-24-34

PIC: https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1938
CLIP: (hardcore anal) https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?v…

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If you were to take a lot of the elements that make an attractive woman and put them in a mixing bowl, Kener might be what comes out. Start with the hotness of Scandinavian women (Kener's father is Norwegian) and throw some Asian flavor in there (her mom is Vietnamese). Then raise the girl in California to give her that California wild side and sun-kissed skin. Make her busty, albeit by enhancement. Put her on the pole in strip clubs in San Francisco and Los Angeles so she can learn how to sell sexy. Then have a porn talent scout find out she's willing to do anal. The result is one of the top porn stars of the late 90's and early 2000s. Kener largely got out of the business after things went south business-wise between her and Vivid Entertainment. Her Twitter has been inactive since 2013 and her website is no longer up. Still, we remember what she was.

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Shyla STYLEZ

36DD-23-32

PIC: https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1909
CLIP: (solo strip dance) https://www.playvids.com/v/AGmpC7GxGC9

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One thing made Stylez a lot sexier than a lot of other porn stars: She could legitimately dance. Yes, this probably had something to do with her having gotten her start in Vancouver strip clubs. But it also probably had something to do with her eagerness to do whatever it took to be sexy. Just watching her take off her clothes was more fun than watching many other pornstars actually have sex, plus, Stylez was more than willing to grease herself up and do just about anything, not to mention she was a known commodity in the circle of folks willing to pony up large sums of money to pay for a pornstar escort. In 2016, she was voted into the AVN Hall of Fame after a career that saw her persevere through a scandals involving an Orange County sheriff and a failed marriage to a porn executive that caused her contract issues. In 2017, though, Stylez tragically passed in her sleep, found by her mom at the age of just 35. No official cause of death has been given, but the various trappings of the business and her stressful road to stardom may have finally gotten to her. It's a true shame, as she was, simply, one of the best ever.

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Again, remember, we're evaluating both candidates as they were in their prime.

KENER
STYLEZ
or NEITHER

31 comments

Latest

PaulDrake
5 years ago
NEITHER
PaulDrake
5 years ago
Are you picking all of these girls AnonJim? You seem to have a pretty specific type that a pretty large percentage of us are not into...
Clubber
5 years ago
Pass on both.
Call.Me.Ishmael
5 years ago
Stylez.

Huh. Had no idea that she'd passed on.
Jascoi
5 years ago
kira.
Jascoi
5 years ago
(but i need to be buzzed.)
Warrior15
5 years ago
Kira
AtAboy
5 years ago
Neither
chessmaster
5 years ago
Shayla stylez is my favorite of all time. No idea who Kira kener is.
datinman
5 years ago

7. Theoretically, you're supposed to be evaluating the ladies in their prime

Assuming we could go back to a time before they both had bad boob jobs, I would find Kira to be more exotic and appealing.
bullzeye
5 years ago
Difficult one for me. Closest yet...

Kira

RTP
5 years ago
I am not really a porn guy, and watching this tells me why. Kira is an attractive woman, but her tits look awful to me. She should sue the plastic surgeon. In her porn, she gives a long BJ, does the guy in every position and then he has to use his hand to get himself off? Not a turn on to me in any way.

I do appreciate your effort. I think I will stick to Follies and take what shows up that day.
Longball300
5 years ago
These two fall into the same over enhanced rode hard porn star category of looks for me; don't get me wrong I would indulge; so it's "either" for me.
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
@Paul: I picked the girls. It was basically just the first 64 that popped into my head.

I do have a type. I like 'em big up top. Nice, round, full and big.

I don't mind enhancements at all. In fact, I'm a little disappointed the procedure hasn't improved such that more young women see it as viable. The fact you're seeing fewer busty girls, enhanced or no, at clubs nowadays disappoints me. "Natural" means little to me. I don't expect to evaluate a woman on her naturalness any more than I expect to be evaluated on my hunting and fire-building skills. We've evolved beyond that; we have brains that operate cars and computers and have underwire bras and implants. It's not what you were given, it's what you do with it. I want a girl who knows how to put on makeup well, do her hair well, dances well and makes her look the best it can be to use her talents. What she looks like "naturally" isn't really a factor to me.

One upon a time, it was a more common type. We're talking about two of the better-selling adult film stars of their time, here. And, during that time, yeah, that big didn't necessarily mean they were going to be perfect. But they were still nice and big, and there are things girls with big ones can do much more easily than girls without them.

That said, there's a reason I gave you guys the 'Neither' option. If they aren't your cup of tea, then that should be your vote. 'Neither' doesn't mean "I don't want any girls ever at all." It just means "not these two, thanks." And it's plausible my 64 could all be that for some of you, though there were, and still are, a few natural and/or less busty options. Nicole Kidman got eliminated. Dillion Harper is coming up. We're probably going to consider Shauna O'Brien pre-op. (Pre-op) Megan Rain won her first matchup. And so on.

Kener/Stylez is one where 'Neither' could win. To me, that data is just as interesting as the other two options.

Don't be afraid to go Brewster's Millions and vote none of the above. Neither is there for a good reason. If that's your feeling, vote 'Neither'. I gave you an out.
Warrior15
5 years ago
I find it funny that guys on this board are super critical. But if one of these girls actually got on their lap, they would cum in their pants in about 10 seconds.
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
It makes a weird kind of sense to me.

This is a must-read article for anyone who takes sex in our current age somewhat seriously: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc….

Here's the nutshell, relative to this discussion: Young people are having less sex. Porn is certainly one of many reasons why. But it's not just porn. It's what kind of porn.

With porn, we can get exactly what we want. And, what we want could be very different from what other people want. It also could be something so perfectly aligned with our wants that it doesn't actually exist at all. The article mentions the second-most popular porn search is animated/manga/hentai/etc., i.e. stuff you don't see in reality.

We are becoming perfectionists, very understanding of our own tastes, less so of others', and people's tastes can be very different. That's a side effect of our online lives being more fulfilling than reality. Think "Ready Player One."

That said, part of what's cool about the bracket for me is finding out how my tastes align with those of others', or the hive mind of the board on the whole.

If I pick two girls that only appeal to me, that's good to know in and of itself. I don't think that's going to be the case most of the time. I don't think you become known on the web by being unattractive to everyone. But it would make sense if a handful of the 32 opening-round matchups saw 'Neither' win.

If it's how you feel, vote 'Neither'!
skibum609
5 years ago
I find neither attractive at all.
Ferdinx
5 years ago
I vote Kener, but it's close.
rh48hr
5 years ago
Kener.

I may have a type, but I'm not that picky. If any of these girls were willing to sleep with me, I'm doing it in a heartbeat.
ATACdawg
5 years ago
Neither of them drive me crazy, but I will submit a vote for Ms. Kener.
gSteph
5 years ago
Shyla Stylez.

Because of the rules.
Otherwise neither.
IHearVoices
5 years ago
Stylez.
nofuglies
5 years ago
neither
sshrfrsky
5 years ago
Kener
prevert
5 years ago
Neither for me. Fake looking.
Stripclubaddict1
5 years ago
Well, I’ve had Shyla. She was awesome. I sure do miss her
aquavelvaman
5 years ago
The pic of Kira is not her prime... so it’s close- but shyla
eastsidecap
5 years ago
Gonna be Kira for me. The sounds she makes when she is getting pounded is so hot!
bang69
5 years ago
Both
AnonymousJim
5 years ago
Let's close 'er up after I add a vote for Stylez.

KENER: 9
NEITHER: 7
STYLEZ: 6

̶D̶i̶s̶c̶u̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶d̶i̶f̶f̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶a̶s̶t̶e̶s̶:̶ ̶4̶
̶B̶o̶t̶h̶:̶ ̶2̶

This was the first one where 'Neither' beat one of the candidates. It couldn't beat 'em both, though, and Kener is through to the next round.

One thing that ... confuses? ... me is that Stylez being a good dancer didn't seem to score more points with you guys. I mean, this is a strip club board, right? Does the dancing part even matter to us mongers who are willing to sign up to be members of a board like this? I mean, isn't that kind of how we usually get our first impression of these girls ... you know, dancing on stage? Or have we conditioned ourselves to think "good dancer on stage, bad lappers/VIPs as a result"? I dunno.

Anyhow, Kener advances, though I think she's going to be an underdog against either Veronica Avluv or Dillion Harper.
bang69
5 years ago
Both
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