Contact with former dancer who provided OTC

12 comments

• someyoungguysomeyoungguy

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  17 years ago

  Fanastic news! Do you know what kind of relationship she wants with you? If not, I think you should ask.
• DougS

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  17 years ago

  If I were to guess, I'd say she wants to hookup, but either way, I'd go for it... at least the lunch... and see what develops..
• FONDL

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  17 years ago

  Relationships change and so do the girls as they grow up. And I don't think you have much contorl over either one, it'll go where it goes. The relationship that I now have with my ATF isn't anything at all what I expected or hoped it would become. It's better. But the amount of physical intimacy we used to share has long since disappeared. Yet in all other respects we're much closer. Maybe close physical intimacy and close friendship are mutually exclusive over a long period of time. Funny that you mention her working to become a fitness instructor - that's exactly what my ATF did after she got tired of dancing and waitressing. She then went on to become a massage therapist, which pays a whole lot better.
• Shekitout

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  17 years ago

  Have had lunch twice this week with fromer dancer. Says she's not going to do any more "sessions". Said it wasn't me, it was her. Oh well, I can still enjoy her company. Asked to borrow $40 until next payday. I made the loan & she said she would pay it back at $20/week. Teaching some fitness classes at $17/hour but hasn't been paid for them yet so she ran short of cash this week after paying bills. Offered to lend her $100 but she said no, thanks, that $40 was enough. We made a date to go to the movies next week instead of lunch-said we could make out in the last row. Looking forward to that!
• someyoungguysomeyoungguy

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  17 years ago

  Hey, sucking face instead of fucking isn't *that* bad of a trade-off, good for you!
• DougS

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  17 years ago

  Shekitout: I agree with the previous... kissing, especially of the DFK kind, is not a bad alternative, though if you had more in the past, it might be tough stopping with the kiss. I guess it depends on how much you enjoy being with her. In my current ATF situation, we do the OTC thing, but so far it consists mostly of going out for dinner, then the hotel for a lot of kissing and cuddling, but that's where it stops. I'm definitely not complaining, because I enjoy every second that I spend with her. To be honest, there is NO one that I'd rather spend time with, than her. Sure, if things progress further, my enjoyment factor will also increase, but it's not a requirement.
• FONDL

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  17 years ago

  I think in these type situations, especially if there's a big age difference, you have to decide if you are going to be content to be just a close friend. Because if you push for more than that you may end up with nothing. I chose to settle for the friendship path and I'm really glad that I did. I can't believe how close we've become - whenever anything major occurs in her life, good or bad, I'm the first person she tells about it. And she never makes an important decision without discussing it with me first. It's very flattering.
• Shekitout

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  17 years ago

  I tried to confirm movie & lunch date for today(Mon)by calling her at home instead of cell. My bad. Now she says her dad won't let her talk to me or have contact with her again. She did ask for a mailing address so she could repay money I lent her. Dad has threatened to call the cops if I make any telephone contact with her again. Bummer! Just when things were going so well I fuck it up!
• shadowcat

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  17 years ago

  Dude, You and I have known each other for years. We have shared the same ATF. We have shared dancer information about 1/2 of the dancers at our favorite club. Between you and I, Knowbody knows the club [view link] many dancers have we talked about over the years? I warned you about the one.
• Shekitout

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  17 years ago

  Igiveup: What exactly was your warning? I've gotten no response via email from you after I emailed you how it was going with her. I'm the one who fucked up by calling her home phone & having her dad answer the phone. I'll miss her & have a feeling that there will be future contact when she has a financial need & I believe she will.
• shadowcat

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  17 years ago

  Dude, You're losing it. I don't remember if was on the discussion board or in an email but I defeniely warned you to be carefull with this one...
• Shekitout

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  17 years ago

  I remember your warning because we hooked up at her parents place. And you thought she was a psycho for that. What else did you warn me about her? Is your damn email address broke so you can't send emails? Told a buddy about what her dad said & he said I should have replied his daughter initiated the most recent contact, not me. He thinks she'll contact me again when money is a problem.