I'm ok with her still stripping for a few. She brought up before that she's about done anyway.
Honestly, if I were single I would go for her hands down, and that there is the problem.
Oh, well cheating on a wife, in my opinion, is not a good idea at all. Need either a marriage counselor or a divorce lawyer. If there has to be a divorce, best not to be under the influence of any third person, in my opinion. Divorce is so gut retching that you would probably lose any outside woman in the process. It really is like walking through hell.
SJG
Pretending to be a therapist...
What's the age difference? How long have you been seeing the stripper? Do you have anything in common besides lust? How long have you been married?
If you think you’ll end up getting divorced anyway you should figure that out between you and your wife. It’s better to get divorced because you want to get divorced rather than get divorced because you got caught cheating. A marriage counselor can help you figure that out.
"You might consider getting your marital situation straightened out first before running away with a stripper."
Agreed, and a bad marriage is a death trap, it distorts how you see other things.
SJG
^^^^^^^ had to pass up on such most every day of my long marriage. Its not just to avoid a disturbance, its to live up to a commitment and to be able to look at yourself in the mirror.
SJG
If it’s a 15 year age difference you’re at least 35, married 10 years. Do you have children? Do you care about your kids more than your dick?
I had been married 16 years and had 2 kids when boredom in the bedroom was exacerbated by having a 29 year old friend show me what real fucking was all about. I left home and after 6 months the 29 year old moved on th a very wealthy guy. Marriage counseling addressed everything and my wife made an honest effort to accommodate me, but within a year we both knew it wasn’t in her nature (16 years of Catholic education?). She told me to do what I needed to do, just don’t rub her nose in it. I did not flaunt it and then realized that except for the sex we loved each other. We never talked about my late night “poker games” or my “business trips”. She knew and yet we enjoyed an early retirement, travel, and being together all while I had a 10 year fling with a stripper 40 years younger than I. Now my wife is gone and my stripper is gone and my vision looking back is 20/20.
Go slowly and think with your big head.
^^^^^^ gawker is providing good info!
I most agree with what Cristobal wrote,
"You might consider getting your marital situation straightened out first before running away with a stripper."
You have to make your marital decisions without the influence of any outside women.
SJG
What plays rhythm on this? Is it piano and electric guitar together?
[view link]
Situate the marriage situation if you’re serious about her. Divorces can be messy. And if you want her to stop stripping, expect her to want you to pay her bills. Seems like too much work to me.
In Los Angeles, California (Porn Valley), there are marriages that “survive” when the wife is a working Pornstar/escort. or a stripper/sugar baby/escort.
Not even the 1% can have it all; Trophy Wife, Mistress, Escort.
Feeling are overrated, the concept of love was created to profit from it, by an entire industry that has to keep their consumers believing in love/feelings.
Just get a divorce, try to make it as agreeable as possible, explain to your wife she and the kids (if you have any) deserves to be happy. Then set up your stripper girlfriend as sugar Baby and if it works out you can keep the relationship as long as you can afford it. Do not get married again and don’t live together, if you want to keep the “honeymoon” for as long as possible.
And pay attention to this fact:
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”
~ Tony Montana, Scarface.
@Gawker wrote: "...and then realized that except for the sex we loved each other. "
___________
That's my favorite part of @Gawker's post. It's easy to find good sex and almost impossible to find someone who actually cares about you and who shares common values and interests. You don't want to throw away a good marriage because the sex has lost it's excitement after 10 years.
This is not a great place for marriage advice and talking to a trained counselor would probably be a great idea. You could nail down why you don't find your wife exciting and exactly what it means to have the "feelz" for this dancer. Nine months isn't all that long and 15 yrs age difference is pretty large. Good luck!
"Any of you guys pass up on someone you were sure would make you happier to avoid disrupting your life?"
To be honest, you can never be "sure" someone will make you happier until you live with them and deal with them on a daily basis.
However, I have passed on potential happiness to avoid disrupting my life.
I had a friendship with a college girl who was cute, had a nice body and who knew football, not just players and teams but also strategies and history, the perfect girl.
One small problem, I was happily married.
So when the friendship began evolving into more, I decided to end it because I preferred remaining married to the love of my life.
Ironically, my wife filed for divorce a few years later leaving me for another man, which was the start of my mongering lifestyle.
I haven't looked back and I've had more fun than I thought was possible.
YEMV
I appreciate the replies and advice guys.
And yes, if I got divorced right now I would move straight in with the stripper. I would probably try to avoid marriage again, but would be all for more kids.
In some ways I settled for my wife from the very start. I've cheated off and on from the beginning. She's a good person, is successful, takes care of the kid etc. I just haven't ever really been that happy, either in the bed or out. She does plenty of things that annoy the fuck out if me, but it's not like she's that bad
I’m sure I’m not the best person to offer marriage advice, but you don’t want to do something that will destroy your credibility with your wife and/or children, you don’t leave for another woman, you leave for yourself, and if it’s that important you need to take a break from your whore and figure out what you want before leaving, if that’s what you want do it on your own, whores are available anytime.
You need to move on from your wife first. When she finds out you're cheating, the divorce could get messy and she might put you in the poor house. And custody could be contentious.
If you're with someone for nine months and don't trust them.... then maybe the feelings between you aren't exactly mutual.
Also, as has been said, leaving your wife for another woman will make the divorce hell for you and will hurt your prospects.
Something I've learned is, cheating doesn't solve anything....the underlying problem in any relationship has to do with both partners albeit not always equally. You'll bring your end of it to any relationship you're in unless you first address why your relationship is bad.
Secondly, what you feel sounds like lust. When its real feelings you don't go nine months and not trusting someone.... you build intimacy and know where you stand by then.
Oh you're married.
Very broad advice is to never leave your wife for another woman. It's also true in dating relationships, leave because you're unhappy or it's not working, not because you want to stick your dick in someone else.
As long as you're married you can't romantically date this stripper. Figure out if you want to stay married or not and go from there.
You sound like a grade A pussy to me. I'll add selfish, weak and stupid to round out your personality profile.
I'm not saying this because you're fucking a piece on the side. If that were the sole metric of determining the worth of a father or husband, affluent homes across the country would break up in droves.
I'm saying this because you're forgetting Rule #1, which is that a fun piece of side ass is just side ass. What really matters are the people who rely upon you. That child in your house is more important than your emotional angst or desire to relive your dating choices and you're kidding yourself if you think that the child won't be harmed by it, potentially for life.
Did you not have a father who taught you about this stuff? Or male relatives who set the example as to how to manage these cravings while still meeting your home obligations? Did you grow up in a broken home where no man schooled you on how to treat the mother of your chld(ren)?
But good luck I suppose.
Potentially, moving in with the stripper after your divorce sounds like a bad idea.
It may sound cliché but you should find yourself first and date a few women.
But in a kinder gentler moment, I'll also add this.
Of course the sexy, fun and exotic stripper is more exciting than your buttoned up wife. They always are. But there is a reason why there are some girls that we just fuck and some that we marry. It is because a girl who chooses that lifestyle is rarely suited to having and raising kids the way they should be raised. Sooner or later, you'll see the bad and the ugly too, but by then you may find it hard to easily extricate.
The grass is always greener on the other side. The problem is that your kid isn't on the other lawn. Maybe you should think about fertilizing your own yard instead, perhaps with more kids or finding ways to fuck the shit out of your wife and loosen her up. In other words, suck it up you hypersensitive buttercup and improve the situation that you kid is in instead.
I married a stripper.
Things to know going in...
1) Does she have a drug habit, and there's a 90% chance she does.
2) How much trauma from before she met you (because you will be held responsible for making it go away)
3) How responsible is she? Her life skills are probably under developed and routine tasks and decision making is going to be your job.
4) How realistic is she? She likes to have things come pretty easily, and quickly, hopefully your finances are so abundant you can manage.
First six months is a blast, after that it's like any relationship, except way more work.
Good luck
LOL nicespice. You are like the tuscl version of Anne Rice, minus the literary flair of course. What makes her books so unreadable is how emotionally pathetic all her male characters are.
What is the most time you have spent with her? A few hours? Not smart to move in with someone you barely know. Yes, you barely know her. The idea behind dating and engagemen is to get to know a person in a variety for circumstances and for long enough that you know they arent faking it.
You should not leave one woman for another. You leave your partner because leaving is the right thing to do.
You may have serious trust issues if you do this. How does she know you will not want to trade up when the two of you have problems or she gets older? Will you trust she isnt hooking up with some other customer?
Leave your wife if it is the right thing to do. Date the new woman for a while and get to know each other before you move in with her.
25, I got through one years ago and partway through two others, but eventually just had to stop. At a certain point, my suspension of disbelief just came apart with how weak and whiny and needy the male characters were.
Ouch. Tho admittedly not as much of an ouch as if I *did* have her literary flair.
As somebody who enjoyed fan fiction a lot growing up, I found her rabid anti-fan fiction stance very off putting and refused to read her stuff on principle.
Especially because from what I’ve heard, there was problems with her writing that went beyond just characterization. In other words, her stuff wasn’t so amazing and original that any teenager who wanted to write their own offspin stories without making any money off it, wasn’t exactly “ruining” much
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