Dealing with dancers who don't do regulars...

Yeah I agree, all true. If they don't need regulars it means they are incredibly hot. They make a fuck ton everytime they step in the club. But god damn even Midday? This is Dallas I'm guessing. Shit.

As a dancer who doesn’t really do regulars either (and when I do find one, I will usually see him 3-4 times before we part ways)...I’d have to say that I’d be perfectly happy with a regular like you. This isn’t SS either. A lot of the trade offs involved with regulars, you seem to go out of your way to acknowledge and minimize its impact.

I think what you said is good enough. Considering the frequency of your visits, I think this is something that will naturally solve itself normally. If they work consistently enough, and see your face around as a consistent spender to somebody else, it would only be logical for them to want to be in on it.

But another way to handle an objection in the moment maybe is to simply give *your* number on a piece of paper and say “well, next time you come in, and want an easy start, feel free to message me...”

^I phrased it wrong with my last sentence. I didn’t mean encourage them to text you when already there. But I think you know what I meant.

I feel like some girls don’t like that. When you give her your number it’s kind of odd in person. Online dating yeah I’ll do it but IRL I might just have to suggest now it if things are going south.....or north in this case. Maybe puts her at ease with this could be an obsessive guy kind of thing.

If something like offering a number dissuades her from wanting PaulyD as a regular, then as far as I'm concerned, it was just never going to happen anyways.

I run into girls who don't do regulars occasionally, even on the slower shifts I go to, and definitely at the busier clubs. This is very, very simple for me: I move on, no matter how much I like them. They're not going to provide the experience I'm looking for, I'm not going to break my budget for them or sit around strategizing my day around them. No disrespect or hard feelings. This actually happened pretty recently, she steadfastly maintained she did not have a google voice (so no appointments were possible -- she kept offering to just tell me her schedule, as if these girls ever show up on schedule and on time), and would always run off to dance with others. After the 2nd time I saw her, I just moved on to another girl who definitely knew how to treat a regular

Yo Paul maybe show her big money at first. Not just more but big money. Might get your foot in the door with that. Depends how bad you want it. If I see a girl who’s exactly my type (rare as fuck though) she doesn’t know it, but she can get my paycheck that week if she really wanted to. It’s just worth it to me.

But yeah likely I would say fuck it in most cases.

@Muddy9 - I am sure that throwing down 10x the money would probably work but that isn't an option I am interested in. I like to stick to favs so I don't want to start paying an amount of money I can't sustain long term. Also as time goes on I tend to want to spend more and more time talking so I want to start off under budget so in the future I can go up. I will say however (which is in line with your suggestion) that I have been trying to be more generous on first visits to make a good impression.

@nicespice - I think your comment that "it was never going to happen" is a good one. I am not going to be able to change these girls.

@subraman - As always thanks for the voice of reason.

So two scenarios I would love input on from Subraman and Nicespice:

1. Gotten dances with this girl off and on for a few months. Got her number and would love to make her my new main fav. Texted her a few weeks in a row asking when she was working and maybe only got one response back that was a no (sick). The line between texting a dancer too much or too long with no response is hard to gauge. I have pretty much decided that if there is no to little response that I should only text once a week. But after 2 or 3 weeks with no response that is probably the point I should stop? Or just say something like "Hey I don't want to bother you endlessly so just HMU if you decide to work again sometime!"

As a side note to this... If you guys remember a while back I made my fake seeking arrangement account... Some guy still emails my fake girl every week wanting to meet up even though it's been two months!!!

2. Got dances with a girl once. Tipped her really well. Got her number but she was super cautious about giving it. Texted her asking when she was working and got no response then saw her at the club soon after. Obviously it is a terrible idea to be confrontational at all about the fact that she forgot to respond. But I am the kind of person that am not capable of saying at least something even if it's in a joking way.

Subraman I feel like you would know the perfect thing to say in that scenario...

For #1 I’d say stop. She knows who you are now at this point. Also, I don’t want to sound cynical, but there is a chance she may have been untruthful about being sick (I’ve lied about that too. I know, not the nicest thing to do, but it happens)

#2 The best revenge is when it’s slow AF and your CF is walking away having made more money than her. Who knows when that will be, but it’s *very* likely to happen

I don’t do regulars. I’m like a horny teenager in the club. I love the chase, lol. Also I don’t feel like communicating when I’m off work to keep you enticed. Sometimes I give away customers to other dancers when I’m bored with them. I just love men and enjoy flirting with all of them.

If she doesn’t want regulars, you basically have three choice:

- Change her mind. How one does that will vary from girl to girl, but spending money is going to be at the top of the list. However, as Subraman point out, probably not going to be worth it, unless she provides a stellar level of the service(s) for which you’re looking.

- See her when you see her, and otherwise don’t worry about it. If she’s a good, but not stellar, provider, or you’re not willing to shell out a fuck ton of cash, there’s little point in trying too hard, so just go with the flow, and see her when your paths cross.

- Move on. Find someone who’s compatible with your desires.

As for texting, if you’ve texted multiple times, gotten no response, and then seen her in the club after texting, she’s likely not interested. If she approaches you, and you want to make a “point”, tell her something like “oh, I’m sorry, when you didn’t respond, I assumed you wouldn’t be here and made other plans. Next time maybe?” Personally, I’d only do that kind of thing if I had, in fact, made other plans. :)

Never knew this was a thing

Some guys have a regular girl they spend lots of money on...a wife.

As a customer i personally dont have favs that i make appointments just to buy dances. this is based off experience, when i would make an appointment i would feel obligated to spend on her and she would feel the same pressure of spending time with me.

She probably feels that if she starts making appointments, youre going to tie her up and shes going to lose on earings.

->"1. Gotten dances with this girl off and on for a few months. Got her number and would love to make her my new main fav. Texted her a few weeks in a row asking when she was working and maybe only got one response back that was a no (sick)"

I am an appointment-driven PL. If a stripper can't or won't make appointments (e.g., she doesn't text back, she doesn't show up) then I move on. If you don't care about appointments, you can keep working on her, but a girl like this is relegated to "I'll hang out with her if my CF isn't there and I don't have any other options" girl for me

-->"Obviously it is a terrible idea to be confrontational at all about the fact that she forgot to respond. But I am the kind of person that am not capable of saying at least something even if it's in a joking way."

If it just happened once, and you've only ever gotten one dance from her, too early to draw conclusions. She might have forgotten who you are, and hey, even the best strippers fuck up on returning texts sometimes. It's not until it's a pattern that I write her off.

Here in Detroit I find it hard to imagine a dancer who would not want regulars. It's their bread and butter. Every business wants repeat customers.

I expect that clubs that cater to tourists, like in Vegas, would have dancers with no interest in regulars. They want to extract the maxim money in the shortest time and move on. They will probably never see the tourist in the club again.

+1 to subraman's first post in this thread: The only thing you can do with a girl who doesn't want that level of interaction is to move on. Trying to force it will just make her even more uncomfortable.

This segues right to your post about texting these girls and not getting a response. Clearly they don't want to interact with you that way, which they made perfectly clear when they blew you off the first time. IME there's no upside in pressuring them to do so, whether by multiple follow up texts or actions ITC. All you'll accomplish by pressing is to spin your wheels while adding to her headaches. Girls like this are often young and/or new to the business, so maybe after she has seasoned a bit more you might have better luck.

@jackslash - Things are definitely a little different in a ultra high volume club.

@Subraman - So how many weeks in a row would you continue to text a potential fav before you give up?

@rickdugan - Thanks for responding. I think you are right but there are some exceptions. I remember you had a comment a long time ago (maybe to me maybe to someone else) that was something like "obviously you aren't spending enough". I had a previous fav who was terrible at texting and I read your comment and tried paying her more and there was no change in her behavior. So I changed our deal and said if she informed me of her schedule, and I never had to wait I would pay her more, if not less. And that fixed everything.

Since then I have a term for it: Puppy Dog Rules

Do what I like, you get a treat!

DC posted: "Is this dancers not wanting regulars just a Texas thing?"

Not limited to Texas. You'll find this more in big market clubs with lots of foot traffic, like those in big cities and others places with lots of tourists.

“I've seen NiceSpice say that she makes like $500-600 on weeknights and those kind of numbers are considered a good night for a Friday around here.”

I’ve had lots of those numbers on weeknights...ditto with $100-$250 as well.

And yeah, what Dugan said with foot traffic.

Different clubs have a particular M.O. that makes them harder for one to be a regular of any dancer they want - e.g. Mons Venus, Baby Dolls Dallas, even Tootsies Miami, they are kinda lap-dance factories where dancers seem to make their $$$, and are able to make their $$$, on volume vs having to be a RIL's kept-woman per se and have to adhere to the all the RIL's whiny-demands - i.e. clubs/shifts where the $$$ flows and custies are willing to spend.


Some obervations/opinions:

- clubs w/ expensive lap-dances seems the dancers are more apt to spend more time w/ custies - I assume either b/c the expensive dances are harder to sell and thus the dancer has to give more time to the custy than just the 3-minute-dance, or b/c w/ higher dance prices there is more of a payaback on their time-investment

- clubs w/ extras - not easy to convince most custies to part w/ a few-hundred for extras - b/c of the larger investment the custy has to make, and bigger payback for the dancer, one would assume dancers would tend to cultivate custies more


I assume the OP is talking about his home-club of Bucks in Ft Worth, TX - which AFAIK is more of a $20 dance-factory vs expensive dances or costly extras - and also happens to be one of the most popular clubs in the whole metro-area and the most popular club in Ft Worth - meaning with affordable dances and a popular club with lots of custies, getting individual customized attention form a hot-dancer is gonna be a headwind proposition.

Seems the OP has made his intentions known and it's not working - in the scenario of his club it seems one will have to outbid the avg PL in order to get specialized attention - if unwilling to do that then I assume the OP will just have to bide his time until a dancer comes around that is willing to provide what he wants - it's not as easy to get dancers to do what we want when they have lots of options and one is just willing to more or less spend what the avg PL in that club is willing to spend.

Also - the OP comes across as a nice-guy and not a ball-buster - i.e. it often seems that custies that are able to get dancers to do things on their terms tend to be kinda cutthroat themselves and know how to work things just the right-way to control the situation and do things on their terms in a no-holds-barred winner-takes-all kinda transaction where there's not much room for compromise

PD, if Papi's assumption of what club you are going to is correct, then you are going to have to go to a different club to get what you want. In a nut shell, they don't need regulars if the place is that busy where they can make their bank without really trying. This type of club reminds me of Flashdancers in NYC. There are so many dancers and so many customers, I can't even imagine how I could get a dancer to even remember me never mind becoming a regular. At my local club where there are 3-5 dancers on a day shift and a dozen customers, I wouldn't try to get or give a phone number right out of the box because most dancers don't remember me until I see them a few times. Once there is some familiarity between us, then I can tell if they are interested in being a regular and exchange numbers. Just my 2 cents...