More crazy strip club stories: make TUSCL brilliant again!

While it’s obviously not the main purpose of the board, I do think that sharing stripper stories is fun and entertaining.

All of my stories really were true. The DS did tell a noisy middle aged woman that she and I were sexual partners. We did get caught by security smoking weed in a very nice hotel. She did once get so derperately horny for me to fuck her that she begged me to cut her tennis shoe laces off because she didnt want sex with shoes on. She did pose for topless pictures on south beach. And on the night I met her, she did give me a blow job and swallow my cum in one of the most strict non extras clubs I’ve ever known. I did also try to buy weed for her once from a cop.

As for my other strippers, those stories are true too. I used to make porn videos with video girl, and I once photographed us having sex in the shower with a go pro. I was the first guy that ever ejaculated into DSIII’s mouth, and I had to teach her how to do it. DSII and I did orally please one another in a catamaran off the beach on a Caribbean island.

But I’ll stop the trip down memory lane. The reason I don't post those stories anymore is that I’m not playing with strippers like that anymore. It was a great ride but you can’t duck 18 year old redheads forever.

I have considered reposting some of the old stories and providing my commentary looking back on the event. And I might do that if there is interest in it. But that seems like living in the past which is not really what I’m going for.

My suggestion is that that others need to step up and provide their stories. Gawker and I have done our part. You don’t need to use my colorful prose, and you don’t need to romanticize everything like I used to do. Just tell it in your own words. It would make the board a better place.

4got, thanks for posting a good suggestion.

^Yep. I like to attack board members and refer to them as geriatric white tricks.

Does 4got2wipe have any stories of bringing his weenie dog to a strip club? That would be brilliant.

I don’t have any. Will you give me some?

@fat boy I told learn the phrase “would you like fries with that” you’ll get a few more hours and you’ll have less time to troll this board.

Lol

I have nearly forty years of strip club tales. I will l need to change some details and my memory of drunken events decades ago is far from perfect. I welcome suggestions on what people want to read. I will accommodate if I can

Case in point./
However I will share one of the more amusing stories from just about a year ago. I was visiting Atlantis in the Chicago area which is one of my favorite clubs to go to. I like the ambience the dancers the whole shebang. I sat down ordered my Woodford reserve and Angela, the waitress said they had double cask to which I said certainly I would prefer that period they poured me a double but only charge me for a single which was nice and I gave a nice tip to both the bartender and to Angela as I sat back and enjoyed lovely burn of the bourbon one of the girls came up to me and asked if she could join me. She wasn't really my type, but I was enjoying my bourbon so much I said sure. She moved to sit on my lap and apparently caught her high heel on her dress. She sort of spun as she fell, tore her dress off of the hip strap and landed face 1st in my crotch. It would have been really funny except I had just picked up my bourbon which then went flying into the air when I got hit in the crotch and landed on her back with the ice cubes then rolling down into the crack of her a**. She screamed, and bolted upright which threw me backwards in my chair and she fell over and ended up between my legs as well. Over all it was a classic sort of fall that you would expect from a slapstick movie. One of the bouncers came over and helped her up but in doing so his foot was on her dress which tore it the rest of the way off her hip and pulled her G-string down around her ankles. Another dancer came to help and happened to sort of stand over me and as I looked up I realize she was not wearing a thong or G-string and she was crouched over my face with her goodies about 6" above me. I started laughing hysterically. Once we all got straightened up, the manager came over and apologized profusely, the 1st dancer was mortified and had gone back into the dressing room and the 2nd dancer was laughing as I told her about me opening my eyes with her goodies just inches above me. In the end, I got a dance from both of the dancers, free drinks for that night, and over all a good story.

^yeehaw ;)

@Steeldog: so basically you are saying you had the best seat in the house. : )

BOOM SIPPY CUP WINS AGAIN

bitch i got dope ass stories all da fucking time. remember the bitch who slipped LSD into the punch bowl at my party causing a fucking riot or the time i met nicespice, rained 5k on her and then OD'ed in the VIP room? all from your nigga lil-balla.

PhattBoy said it. Why post when it draws so many trolls and a$$hats? I go to clubs in a dozen countries and clubs all over the Us. I post about 10 percent of my stories. I’d post much more, but the trolls are so stupid and annoying. I don’t need to post, as my membership is pushing into 2023.

I post much better stories than the bitch boys of TUSCL do, cause I make them all up.

@Iak4u2screw--lol