Speaking of getting in contact with prior girls I've known...

Did you tell her how you know her? Did you remind your experience with her at the club.Sometimes if you are not in contact with them they will forget you. How can she remember you if you did not communicate through texting. How did you find their instagram or FB account? If she did not give her account you should not contact her through IG or FB? They will get scared. She might have retired from dancing and got a day job.Who knows. Usually young hot chicks like her work only couple years as dancers to test waters.They cannot cope up with the stress and schedule. So they move on. After you reminded her, what was her response ? She did not want to meet you?

Yeah, this had nothing to do with strippers or strip clubs. She's not a stripper.

She gave me plenty of her contact details in the past, but it was a few years since we spoke and the contact methods I had at this point didn't work but finding her was easy since we know our names and she uses her full name as her IG name. I wasn't asking to meet her, I just sent her a message to say hi and see how she's been doing.

I think she probably doesn't want a current boyfriend to stumble on DMs like that based on her responses. I wasn't explicit, I only responded with enough for her recollection. The point of the post was the disappointment of not being able to re-spark any traction. I have had some girls change phones and initially tell me "wrong number" when testing them after a gap of 2 months, but turn it around when the obvious confusion is cleared up. This instance was years so very slim chance but worth a shot as she's stunning.

I have found that time and continual supply of money are big factors. It is like a momentum equation.

If I consistently see the same girl for a very long time, weekly if possible, at some point it has nearly perpetual motion even with big time gaps. If I see a girl sporadically or only a short time and a similar time gap happens, then it takes some work to regain traction and the longer time passes the more effort it takes and at some point no amount of effort works.

Dynamically, the same type of girl with the same lifestyle will have a certain perception of the need of a relationship and the willingness to let go, like any addiction. If a girl has enough time pass where her life goes on as usual then it is reinforced to her that she doesn't need you. If you continuously see a girl, whether she needs you or not, she will perceive that she does need you.

I do believe that any girl can get by in life without any help from anyone, it is just a matter of her willingness. The need for p4p or SD or whatever the dynamic is a mental cocoon. It is a choice and that choice can either be made over & over which builds one belief system or it can be cut out for long enough to form a new belief system.

Obviously the same choice can be made on our end. I don't need any of this, but I am continuously choosing it. The break may happen when I run out of options and need to go cold turkey for some length of time long enough to get past withdrawal.

I think it's called stalking, lol. If the girl wanted to keep in contact with you, she would have. When they leave p4p/SD lifestyes, they tend to want that to melt away forever. Having someone like you throw it back in their faces, years later, is no doubt disconcerting. Worse though, you didn't get the hint after the first go-around, but instead felt compelled to keep going until she outright rebuked you.

Too funny.

^^^lmao

@jefftuscl you got a false premise there, my friend. We are living in a golden age of "open-minded babes," where for all you know, the early 20s cutie in line at Starbucks would like nothing more than to spend an afternoon getting choke-fucked by a middle aged guy with a beer gut and thinning hair for a few hundred bucks. Now, as @RD points out, investigating the question doing cold approaches at Starbucks will get you arrested. That's what SA is for.

@rickdugan that's lame thinking. Numerous times I've reached out to girls I got out of touch with almost 2 years and within a week they were over my place no issue. Others 2 months and it's "wrong number". You can't gauge it by time, you have to throw a fishing line out regardless to see if there is any engagement. A couple of texts before giving up fully is not stalking.

Rick Dugan = Right on the Money

If I get any sort of communication that is uncomfortable like that, I block the person in every way I can think of.

This is the mindset of “Well I had to ask!” Meaning, you had nothing to lose and only (in your mind) potential gain, where you have made the other person uncomfortable/compromised in some way. No sweat off your back, right?? Her new bf that she really likes might be sitting next to her on the couch and see the messages and call it off. No sweat off your back though, you had to ask.

1. It was on IG, genius, IG does not pop messages up like SMS. 2. I did't text anything blatant, I know how to message when doing a reach-out like that 3. if people worried about someone potentially always looking over the shoulder of a girl they are texting nothing would ever get sent 4. Nobody asked you for your sanctimonious opinion. 5. She had a bf when she was seeing me, should I have walked on eggshells about texting her THEN? Back then I was texting her very explicitly about going down on her and other acts - and she loved it. Was I worried then her boyfriend might spy something popping up on her phone?

Hey guys, let’s make sure we don’t comment anything but pure facts and their sources on Jeff’s threads because on this site, a forum site, Jeff has not asked for our opinions.

You’re RIGHT, Jeff! Since you haven’t been in her life in YEARS, she is probably the exact same person and you know everything that’s going on with her so feel free to just tread carelessly all over her inbox! Looks like ya did, good work buddy.

Keep up the manners and etiquette, it is hard to see why you are losing contact and then later having little success in fusing those very old connections.

If there was no merit to my points you might not be so defensive. Best of luck, Jeff!

Yes, women don't do well being put on a shelf. Collecting contact info for future use usually does not work. If you don't contact them right away, then the odds of it going over well are very low. Women seem to be more short term in their focus, they try to construct what they want in their personal lives in the hear and now. At least this is how it looks to me.

SJG

I don't think most girls want to sex work permanently. Strippers who occasionally fuck PLs don't think of themselves as prostitutes. The whole sugar baby set up is a shell game so the woman can tell herself she's not fucking for cash, but we all know the cash stops if the sex stops.

In most countries other than the US, well off guys keep mistresses. So I look at it that way, the money is Mistress Maintenance.

The mistress is not a whore, but she is not a wife either.

Never liked the idea of Sugar Baby.

SJG

Next time I better get PinkSugarDoll's permission before I send someone a message that might actually get to them. Better double check with her to make sure the language is proper and the exact length of time to know when it's too late to do anything. Because obviously she knows it all and and has privy to everything I have ever sent as a message that she wants to attempt shaming me to feel morally superior. Attempts at emotional abuse at its finest.

Better not call those plumber numbers on the fridge that haven't been called in 5 years, either! They might not be in the business and might have moved onto the true life they wanted to lead: cabaret dancer. Saver instead to scour the phone book for random new plumbers.