There seems to be a continued conservative view of sex and i have tried hard to wrap my head around why. Sex is fun and exciting. Sex is also very much a powerful concept that must be used wisely. For some reason people well some people want to demonize sex. Here are the truths according to me... Most creatures dont take a cue from humans and only have sex with one person for most of their lives. Humans believe that sex should be shared between two people forming a bond well the truth is that sex and love are far from the same thing. Love is nurture and emotions while sex is a primal need or urge. Its promoting oneself on the scene for evaluation and ultimatly with the hopes you are picked as the best among your peers. Its simple that men and women alike get dressed up and look nice with the hopes they are picked for sexual fun with one another. Now i dont for one minute shame those wanting eternal love/sex with one person but by and large its not how its designed. People should have sex often and with other people when they so desire. Lower your inhibitions in an effort to get the most out of life while you can. explore healthy fantasies and have fun as you please. Whatever you do dont blur the lines of love and sex because it can and often will make for a miserable exsistence filled with resentment and unfilled desire. Sex is to be shared and to be something that is fun and special. Not something hidden away and not often spoken of...
>There seems to be a continued conservative view of sex and i have tried hard to wrap my head around why.
>For some reason people well some people want to demonize sex.
Because sex is a "dirty" act. It's the exchange of bodily fluids, germs, known diseases, diseases that may not be known yet. Can lead to unwanted pregnancies and unknown fathers. So those are some reasons it's demonized. Especially unwanted pregnancies among young people who don't have the ability to raise a child on their own and may then be linked for life with another parent that they don't even know well. Of course there are protections you can take to help mitigate these risks but they're not fool proof.
its not a dirty act between responsible people. sex is about responsibility especially personal responsibility. if you dont have that then you shouldnt be doing it anyway
Wow lmao. Most creatures, especially the males, have sex with more than one other all the time. They fucking battle and attack each other for that right. Ducks do mate for life. I am one of the more conservative members on this board and as far as I know the only one who is long-term happily married and we're swingers. We don't have sexual jealousy, but while love and sex may at times be different, sex with someone you love is different than sex with someone you don't. Steak and lobster.
poledancer, do you think that most people are responsible? Every year there are over 500,00 abortions in the US. That is a lot of people being irresponsible. If you're doing things that can result in an unwanted pregnancy then you are doing things that can result in transmission of disease. Even if you are responsible, birth control methods are not 100% effective.
So I guess that's a reason to demonize it because most people are too dumb or irresponsible to do it as safely as possible.
Why all the caveats? Sex is fun but... must be used wisely. People should have sex all the time and with whomever but... sex is special and meant to be shared. Have fun as you please but... only if they’re healthy fantasies.
Every argument you made, you put limits on it. Not convincing, I think you’re wrong. Sex, love, monogamy, and long-term commitment that’s how you should do it.
Yeah why would her opinion on the worst thing that ever happened to her matter when compared to yours. Very progressive attitude, you folks always know best.
M<y folks were in college when they had me. Accidents happen. If a fetus isn't a human being then no taxpayer should have to pay taxes for pre-natal care.
As for sex, very good points PD. Despite all that I still don't want my SO fucking some other dude. So terribly 19th century of me. My SO doesn't want me fucking somebody else either dangit. How terribly hypocritical and also inconvenient for me.
As for the abortion topic, the moral issues will never be resolved to the satisfaction of all thus neither will the legal issues - with the positions being so polar there's just no achievable middle ground there. Not that anyone gives a shit about my personal take on the topic but Supreme Court Justice Byron White stated it here with economy of words in his dissent in Roe v. Wade:
"At the heart of the controversy in these cases are those recurring pregnancies that pose no danger whatsoever to the life or health of the mother but are, nevertheless, unwanted for any one or more of a variety of reasons — convenience, family planning, economics, dislike of children, the embarrassment of illegitimacy, etc. The common claim before us is that, for any one of such reasons, or for no reason at all, and without asserting or claiming any threat to life or health, any woman is entitled to an abortion at her request if she is able to find a medical advisor willing to undertake the procedure.
The Court, for the most part, sustains this position: during the period prior to the time the fetus becomes viable, the Constitution of the United States values the convenience, whim, or caprice of the putative mother more than the life or potential life of the fetus; the Constitution, therefore, guarantees the right to an abortion as against any state law or policy seeking to protect the fetus from an abortion not prompted by more compelling reasons of the mother.
With all due respect, I dissent. I find nothing in the language or history of the Constitution to support the Court's judgment. The Court simply fashions and announces a new constitutional right for pregnant mothers and, with scarcely any reason or authority for its action, invests that right with sufficient substance to override most existing state abortion statutes. The upshot is that the people and the legislatures of the 50 States are constitutionally disentitled to weigh the relative importance of the continued existence and development of the fetus, on the one hand, against a spectrum of possible impacts on the mother, on the other hand. As an exercise of raw judicial power, the Court perhaps has authority to do what it does today; but, in my view, its judgment is an improvident and extravagant exercise of the power of judicial review that the Constitution extends to this Court.
The Court apparently values the convenience of the pregnant mother more than the continued existence and development of the life or potential life that she carries. Whether or not I might agree with that marshaling of values, I can in no event join the Court's judgment because I find no constitutional warrant for imposing such an order of priorities on the people and legislatures of the States. In a sensitive area such as this, involving as it does issues over which reasonable men may easily and heatedly differ, I cannot accept the Court's exercise of its clear power of choice by interposing a constitutional barrier to state efforts to protect human life and by investing mothers and doctors with the constitutionally protected right to exterminate it. This issue, for the most part, should be left with the people and to the political processes the people have devised to govern their affairs."
I don't know if this was true of all late (younger) GenX youth, but sex education for me was in the shadow of the AIDS epidemic, STDs, abortions, and unwanted pregnancies. There was A LOT of incomplete information and I now believe our educators were steeped in fear.
There was a big feeling that the educators didn't totally understand how AIDS or it was too PC to say why.
(Female to male transmission was rare, male to female transmission was a real concern, but heterosexual males in male/female relationships who became infected weren't getting it from females but instead were getting it from homosexual sex on the side from gay men-- particularly anal sex with men -- they were getting infected then later unknowingly infecting their women partners that way. Except it wasn't really talked about or maybe it was too PC to talk about. Then there was also the intravenous needle sharing among drug users. )
So the AIDS concern along with unreliable statistics on the effectiveness of birth control methods -- rhythm method, condoms, the pill, sponges -- led the educators to convey fear that we'd get AIDS, unwanted pregnancies, ruin our careers or lives, get STDs no matter what we did so we should just practice ABSTINENCE. Yeah, let literally tell the more hormonal, horniest, and sexually hungriest age groups to either abstain or just have less sex, less often, avoid one night stands, "just to be safe" on the odds. Better safe than sorry was the message I saw GenX get. It was more of Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" message again.
I understand the educators and some parents had our best interests at heart or at least thought they did with the information they had. But most of us found it confusing or wanting.
Other parents were more open and accepting of sex. But even then, you're going to have it, so just be safe. Try to have sex only with someone you truly love. Avoid one night stands. Many of my girlfriends or female interests told me this, and found it lacking and wanting. So they'd ask me what I thought about sex and love. Mostly out of desire for some structure or some message they could get behind. Since they sure as hell weren't getting that structure at home or at school or church.
I think there as some healthier attitudes about sex today than 20-30 years ago. And 20-30 years ago we still lived in the confusing after effects of the sexual revolution and women's liberation. But then as we do now, we need to raise good young men with a good sense of direction. The men need it and can benefit and so will the women as a side effect from it.
Rogertex on tuscl famously said to me that sex is a beautiful thing. I like to remind myself of that. Because it's true.
I always find the dissenting views of the men on Tuscl interesting, fascinating, and insightful! Maybe because I was raised entirely by women, steeped in feminism, pro-women agendas, progressivism, and that FDR's New Deal was literally the best thing ever for this country, wage-gap, welfare, wealth transfer, affirmative action, etc. It was just told to me to assume that women want these reproductive rights and it should be granted without question.
So I find of all of the dissenting logic -- presented without a single religious overtone -- to be new and interesting to me. And at times, compelling. To quote juicebox69: Brilliant points, gentlemen!
Sex should be enjoyed as often as possible, humans were not meant for monogamy and we shouldn't be constrained by the limits of it. My libido is really high so Its difficult for one person to satisfy me on their own. I really haven't ever met somebody who could keep up with me and because of that, I need multiple partners. As long as people practice safe consensual sex and use condoms I don't really see the problem with it.
I’m highly conflicted regarding abortion. I believe it should never be used as a form of birth control.
However, I have an inability to judge those who have had abortions negatively. I think many times folks are alone and scared, and they choose from a set of difficult choices.
I was chastised previously for my defense of PD83, and I will only say that I can’t judge her or speak negatively of her. I respect her choices, and I respect her as well.
I think abortion is wrong. Everyone deserves a shot at life. I definitely don't agree with it as a form of birth control. But I accept it if its to save her life. I can also accept it if the mother is a drug addict, or just too young to take care of it. But when its just out of selfishness, then no.
Women have a right to have control over their reproductive choices. No woman wants to use abortion as a method of birth control, they do it as a last ditch effort to make sure that their lives aren't ruined but I would much prefer to just not get pregnant.
-->"No woman wants to use abortion as a method of birth control, they do it as a last ditch effort."
^This generalization is untrue. I know multiple women who have had 4 to 6 abortions. did not use actual birth control to prevent the unwanted pregnancy is beyond me. Abortion is indeed and unfortunately used as a birth control method.
The CDC compiles abortion statistics. Most recent statistics released in 2017 were from year 2014. States are not legally required to report to CDC, so these statistics could be low. Per the CDC: "In 2014, 652,639 legal induced abortions were reported to CDC from 49 reporting areas. The abortion rate for 2014 was 12.1 abortions per 1,000 women aged 15–44 years, and the abortion ratio was 186 abortions per 1,000 live births." At first glance to me, these numbers suggest a high rate of abortions for convenience as a birth control method, though I haven't reviewed the reports or statistics sufficiently for a conclusion on that suggestion.
I love your discussion subject and wish more women felt like you do. I practice polyamory and am in love with at least five women having sex with all of them and have friends with benefits relationships with a few others. I dont have to be in love with someone to have sex with them but I do show my love for them many times by pleasing them sexually. I am a pleaser and want them to be sexually satisfied before I am. In fact i normally cant reach orgasm until my partner does. Their orgasm starts my orgasm. I love to please orally and would rather eat pussy than any other type of foreplay. There is much more i could write but wanted to let you know i really liked your topic and discourse.
Attorneys in other fields of the law compete against each other mercilessly for clients. Divorce attorneys do not. Why? People are naturally compelled to seek out relationships and according to the experts here, are also naturally compelled to screw as many people as possible. It is very rare for any 2 people to not have sexual jealousy; have a great sex life and have the friendship that sustains relationships, so if you believe that screwing around with everyone is healthy .....here's my card lol. "friends with benefits"; Jumbo shrimp; military intelligence; family business. By the way sex isn't love, it is cubic zirconium. Stripper - I know you want to believe what you posted about abortion but 36 years court experience says you are incorrect.
I’m still trying to find an answer to Flagooner’s question about agreeing with PD because she posts pics of her gaping hole. I see that ruined hole and all I think is Yes, Yes, Yes...
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>For some reason people well some people want to demonize sex.
Because sex is a "dirty" act. It's the exchange of bodily fluids, germs, known diseases, diseases that may not be known yet. Can lead to unwanted pregnancies and unknown fathers. So those are some reasons it's demonized. Especially unwanted pregnancies among young people who don't have the ability to raise a child on their own and may then be linked for life with another parent that they don't even know well. Of course there are protections you can take to help mitigate these risks but they're not fool proof.
So I guess that's a reason to demonize it because most people are too dumb or irresponsible to do it as safely as possible.
Every argument you made, you put limits on it. Not convincing, I think you’re wrong. Sex, love, monogamy, and long-term commitment that’s how you should do it.
When we confuse the emotions of love and lust - and mistake a desire to have sex with love - it can cause issues in a relationship.
There is a release of raw emotion - that comes from the intense physical act of fucking. That’s not love - it’s most likely endorphins.
In my view - if sex doesn’t leave both partners spent and messy, and a bit sweaty, and a bit sore - then you didn’t do it properly.
As for the abortion topic, the moral issues will never be resolved to the satisfaction of all thus neither will the legal issues - with the positions being so polar there's just no achievable middle ground there. Not that anyone gives a shit about my personal take on the topic but Supreme Court Justice Byron White stated it here with economy of words in his dissent in Roe v. Wade:
"At the heart of the controversy in these cases are those recurring pregnancies that pose no danger whatsoever to the life or health of the mother but are, nevertheless, unwanted for any one or more of a variety of reasons — convenience, family planning, economics, dislike of children, the embarrassment of illegitimacy, etc. The common claim before us is that, for any one of such reasons, or for no reason at all, and without asserting or claiming any threat to life or health, any woman is entitled to an abortion at her request if she is able to find a medical advisor willing to undertake the procedure.
The Court, for the most part, sustains this position: during the period prior to the time the fetus becomes viable, the Constitution of the United States values the convenience, whim, or caprice of the putative mother more than the life or potential life of the fetus; the Constitution, therefore, guarantees the right to an abortion as against any state law or policy seeking to protect the fetus from an abortion not prompted by more compelling reasons of the mother.
With all due respect, I dissent. I find nothing in the language or history of the Constitution to support the Court's judgment. The Court simply fashions and announces a new constitutional right for pregnant mothers and, with scarcely any reason or authority for its action, invests that right with sufficient substance to override most existing state abortion statutes. The upshot is that the people and the legislatures of the 50 States are constitutionally disentitled to weigh the relative importance of the continued existence and development of the fetus, on the one hand, against a spectrum of possible impacts on the mother, on the other hand. As an exercise of raw judicial power, the Court perhaps has authority to do what it does today; but, in my view, its judgment is an improvident and extravagant exercise of the power of judicial review that the Constitution extends to this Court.
The Court apparently values the convenience of the pregnant mother more than the continued existence and development of the life or potential life that she carries. Whether or not I might agree with that marshaling of values, I can in no event join the Court's judgment because I find no constitutional warrant for imposing such an order of priorities on the people and legislatures of the States. In a sensitive area such as this, involving as it does issues over which reasonable men may easily and heatedly differ, I cannot accept the Court's exercise of its clear power of choice by interposing a constitutional barrier to state efforts to protect human life and by investing mothers and doctors with the constitutionally protected right to exterminate it. This issue, for the most part, should be left with the people and to the political processes the people have devised to govern their affairs."
There was a big feeling that the educators didn't totally understand how AIDS or it was too PC to say why.
(Female to male transmission was rare, male to female transmission was a real concern, but heterosexual males in male/female relationships who became infected weren't getting it from females but instead were getting it from homosexual sex on the side from gay men-- particularly anal sex with men -- they were getting infected then later unknowingly infecting their women partners that way. Except it wasn't really talked about or maybe it was too PC to talk about. Then there was also the intravenous needle sharing among drug users. )
So the AIDS concern along with unreliable statistics on the effectiveness of birth control methods -- rhythm method, condoms, the pill, sponges -- led the educators to convey fear that we'd get AIDS, unwanted pregnancies, ruin our careers or lives, get STDs no matter what we did so we should just practice ABSTINENCE. Yeah, let literally tell the more hormonal, horniest, and sexually hungriest age groups to either abstain or just have less sex, less often, avoid one night stands, "just to be safe" on the odds. Better safe than sorry was the message I saw GenX get. It was more of Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" message again.
I understand the educators and some parents had our best interests at heart or at least thought they did with the information they had. But most of us found it confusing or wanting.
Other parents were more open and accepting of sex. But even then, you're going to have it, so just be safe. Try to have sex only with someone you truly love. Avoid one night stands. Many of my girlfriends or female interests told me this, and found it lacking and wanting. So they'd ask me what I thought about sex and love. Mostly out of desire for some structure or some message they could get behind. Since they sure as hell weren't getting that structure at home or at school or church.
I think there as some healthier attitudes about sex today than 20-30 years ago. And 20-30 years ago we still lived in the confusing after effects of the sexual revolution and women's liberation. But then as we do now, we need to raise good young men with a good sense of direction. The men need it and can benefit and so will the women as a side effect from it.
Rogertex on tuscl famously said to me that sex is a beautiful thing. I like to remind myself of that. Because it's true.
So I find of all of the dissenting logic -- presented without a single religious overtone -- to be new and interesting to me. And at times, compelling. To quote juicebox69: Brilliant points, gentlemen!
Sex should be enjoyed as often as possible, humans were not meant for monogamy and we shouldn't be constrained by the limits of it. My libido is really high so Its difficult for one person to satisfy me on their own. I really haven't ever met somebody who could keep up with me and because of that, I need multiple partners. As long as people practice safe consensual sex and use condoms I don't really see the problem with it.
However, I have an inability to judge those who have had abortions negatively. I think many times folks are alone and scared, and they choose from a set of difficult choices.
I was chastised previously for my defense of PD83, and I will only say that I can’t judge her or speak negatively of her. I respect her choices, and I respect her as well.
^This generalization is untrue. I know multiple women who have had 4 to 6 abortions. did not use actual birth control to prevent the unwanted pregnancy is beyond me. Abortion is indeed and unfortunately used as a birth control method.
The CDC compiles abortion statistics. Most recent statistics released in 2017 were from year 2014. States are not legally required to report to CDC, so these statistics could be low. Per the CDC: "In 2014, 652,639 legal induced abortions were reported to CDC from 49 reporting areas. The abortion rate for 2014 was 12.1 abortions per 1,000 women aged 15–44 years, and the abortion ratio was 186 abortions per 1,000 live births." At first glance to me, these numbers suggest a high rate of abortions for convenience as a birth control method, though I haven't reviewed the reports or statistics sufficiently for a conclusion on that suggestion.