Over-thinking it and caring what the dancer thought

Dominic77
Cleveland, Ohio
For me it was the act of touching and being stopped by a bouncer that made we question, Did I do something wrong? And if I did something wrong, I made the fallacious step to wonder, if I'm wrong, what does the stripper think of that action, but I never assumed this translated to me, rather just my actions.

This is a continuation and the conclusion of my "Why We Fight" and "Dancing and hypocrisy ..." threads as well as well as a thread on the pink site. This is really what drove me online to discussion strip clubs and dancers in the first place. The thinking and questioning that I did something wrong.

None of the dancers in real life or online could find any fault in what I did. "I don't give a shit" was the typical dancer response. Incl. the dancer the bouncer had stopped us.

For years I never questioned what I did with dancers, so what changed? It was in my head. For one, I don't like being told what to do (by the bouncer). The other was part of my funk that twentyfive and rick hit upon.

It took me a while to get past it. (me=idiot) But I immensely enjoyed my last two visits once I had. I'm just indulging in a luxury for working hard and providing for us. So I am and have been bettering myself and achieving forward progress each day. I think feeling stagnant or irrelevant in my life messed with my head to the point I was questioning stupid shit. Like this.

-Dom


@twentyfive posted: "^@Rick I’m assuming these guys [...] never accomplish very much, like you said, why the hell should I care what anyone thinks, my friends accept me for who I am, and those that don’t like me, need no real excuse. I honestly don’t care what anyone thinks of me, as long as I’m alright with myself."

@twentyfive posted: "Find some balance in your life then you don’t need...."

@nicespice posted: "I don’t need any customer to care about me (and would prefer they don’t unless they are spending several hundred dollars to do so)"


Smash that like button or flame me for being an overly-sensitive man. ;P

23 comments

Latest

GACA
6 years ago
Flamed...
twentyfive
6 years ago
WHOOSH burnt your ass to a crispy critter ;)
Dominic77
6 years ago
w00t. Middle class moderate Republican white male hazing, FTW!
Imamutt
6 years ago
So, you stuck your finger in a hole without prior consent, or what?
GACA
6 years ago
If by "Middle class moderate Republican white male hazing" you just mean culture... Then I'm ok with that I guess :)
Dominic77
6 years ago
@Imamutt,

Her torso. I touched her torso.

During one of her lean back, her head and neck-over-my-right shoulder moves, so I get a down-the-body boob view, with her hands she squeezed her breasts together a few times, I had both hands on her ribs. On her fucking ribs.

The bouncer stopped me for that.
twentyfive
6 years ago
^ you shoulda kicked that roid freak in the pussy ;)
Imamutt
6 years ago
Interesting. Maybe he’s either a jealous boyfriend or bf wannabe to her?
Dominic77
6 years ago
Oh, I was so pissed I was seeing red. I stopped the dance, and the dancer was like WTF. I paid and tipped her.

I left because I would have decked him. This || close.
Dominic77
6 years ago
When I first got there, I asked the door girl what the rules are, she said no touching.

So when I got in and sat down, I saw a PL in the LD, with the dancer facing him on his lap, just sitting there. He had both hands on her boobs, tuning then like radio dials.

** So I was like, cool. No rules, then. :)**

So when I got a dance with a different dancer, I thought I'd be fine. She gets between my legs and does the fake over the pants mouth blowjob on my serpent, over the pants HJ, back to BJ, then does some more sexy poses and simulated sex. I'm thinking, after 12 years out of clubs, IMMA GONNA COME BACK and see more of this chick, soon. This is fkn awesome. :D

Then, boom, the bouncer tags me.
nicespice
6 years ago
A customer trying to touch isn’t being a jerk. If the customer keeps trying when being repeatedly asked to stop, or takes an attitude as if he is entitled, is where it gets fuzzy.
skibum609
6 years ago
If a customer doesn't stop after the first time he's told to stop its more than Fuzzy. No means no. Instead of getting a tude choose someone else or go elsewhere. Lap dances aren't guaranteed to be great any more than a business deal is guaranteed to be profitable.
Cashman1234
6 years ago
I’m old fashioned - which means I don’t give a fuck what the dancer “thinks” of me.

I clarify my “position” regarding extras before we adjourn to the back room.

I expect her to be on her knees and knob slobbin - before the lyrics to the song start.

If she’s not acting like a filthy NJ whooore - then I’m not acting like a big NJ tipper...lol!
Dominic77
6 years ago
I'm usually I guy that like to follow rules, so I was pretty confused about what I did wrong. At the time. I didn't see what I did wrong. Or I'm also loosened up and learned not to be such a boyscout all the time. Rules are made to be broken.

I did some introspective and thought, maybe it was me, and I did wrong.

I've since read what you guys do (about 2 way contact) and how you guys get away with it. But the dancer was fine with the contact (or the bouncer interrrupting). Said she didn't give a shit. And wanted to see me again.

I do follow what you guys say, try twice, and if the dancer says no touching -- which they often did from 2016-2017 at Airport Crazy Horse) -- I didn't touch and kept my hands to my side. Or found someone else. So for a large part, rather than risk it, I just sat with my hands to the side.

Do you guys try to keep the touching hidden from the bouncer? Or would you just find a different shift / date / club / bouncer so you can stay "legal" within the bouncers rules. I'm thinking some of you try to keep it hidden from view. Others just vote with their feet. Or is touching just that permissive where you are (dancer-dependent).

As a side, I think I haven't been a rule-breaking or risk taking as I should in life. It's one reason I have low earnings and career achievement, I think. I don't break enough rules. I think that's one thing missing from me that other successful Tusclers have.
Cashman1234
6 years ago
I avoid the times when bouncers might be present at my main clubs.

I don’t want to deal with a roid-ed up, cock blocker.

I go when the rules aren’t as readily enforced. It allows me to get more extras, and it allows me to get the extras quicker. That means I get in and out quicker and cheaper - and happier too!
Bbybunny
6 years ago
Some bouncers pick and choose when to enforce rules. There was a bouncer that had a thing for me that would just hover during dances and hassle my customers.
TrapBaby304
6 years ago
Its wrong but tolerated.
skibum609
6 years ago
I have a routine with the bouncers at Desires. I take my choice to the back. They say Hello ______. I say hello Chris, Matt etc. I pay them I tip them. I head to the room. Despite the time clock I am done when I done.
Warrior15
6 years ago
If I got stopped for touching a girl's ribs, then I would find a new club. I want a whole lot more from my strip club visits.
georgmicrodong
6 years ago
“A customer trying to touch isn’t being a jerk. If the customer keeps trying when being repeatedly asked to stop, or takes an attitude as if he is entitled, is where it gets fuzzy.”

“Fuzzy”? Doesn’t seem fuzzy at all to me. Seems pretty clear cut.
nicespice
6 years ago
Believe me, I don’t want to be an apologist for bad customer behavior. Probably less than anyone else here.

But I have to be realistic. So pretty much every shift, I dance around stray hands, constantly move them, and keep calm about the whole thing. A lot of these customers do come around anyways and improve their behavior.
georgmicrodong
6 years ago
Ah, that makes more sense. Dealing with douchebag behavior without going apeshit probably does your money good and prevents the club from banning you. :)

Doesn’t make it any less clear cut douchebag behavior though.
Dominic77
6 years ago
As a closing remark, I want to make it clear that CONSENT is of the utmost importance and that everything done is and sought with the CLEAR mutual consent of the dancer and me. That was never in question nor "fuzzy" in any way. I don't condone rape-y behavior by men or customers.
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