The pet parrot
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00! "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."
Comments
last commentLol! That’s great! Very well done!
lol
Good one, one of the very few told here, that I never heard before.
Well done - I had also not heard that one before
I'd heard it before but still a good one.
Like 25, completely new to me and a good one!
The other parrot joke...
Guy thinks his wife is cheating on him. Goes to buy a parrot to spy when he isn't home. All the talking parrots were hundreds of dollars. Then he sees one marked for $55. So he asks why so inexpensive. Shopkeeper tells him he has no legs. "So how does he sit on the perch" the man asks. Shopkeeper replies, He wraps his dick around the perch." So he takes the parrot home and tells him to watch his wife and let him know what he sees her doing.
Next day he gets home from work and asked the parrot what happened. Parrot says, "Well, right after you left, some man came in through the back door. Your wife greeted him with lots of hugging and kissing. They kept at is as she slowly took off her blouse and bra. Guy says, "I just knew it! Then what happened." "Well, he started to undress as she took of her skirt. The as he stood naked, she took off her panties." The mans says, " Oh my God, what happened next?' The parrot replies, "I don't know. I got a hardon and fell off the perch!"
I texted the Hi Keith parrot joke to some friends this morning and got laughs all around. I've been plagiarizing you jokesters recently (including shailynn) and now my friends think I'm funny. Keep em coming guys. Who'da thought tuscl would make me appear funnier than I actually am. It's my brand of stripper shit.
Haha! Love it! :)