New (old) rule, and lesson (re)learned

What impresses me is that the first dancer told the next dancer about this as if they were friends or something. Perhaps that's the actual hustle to get the PL to think a certain way and thus increase revenue for that dancer. I don't know and won't look too much into it.

I personally wouldn't have parted with that $10 if I'm convinced it was one dance. If I went to a restaurant and bought a meal and the waiter came out with another bill saying I owe extra, then I'm definitely going to say something about that

Amen. My dancer experience at Flashers a week ago was decent at $10 per but the club is really a shit hole. Doubt I'll be back.

Shadow - Yes, it's a total dump. Fucked up bathroom, torn chairs, beat up tables, and a cratered parking lot like the surface of the moon. Unfortunately, there just aren't too many reasonable mileage clubs around, and the Follies night scene is too much to bear... even for their high-mileage bare chicks... ;-)

Lolruned - Good point on the girls collaborating. I don't think the second dancer was working with the first dancer in any way, but can't be sure. I've had many dances with the second dancer. She's always been generous in her touch and style, and never miscounts. And actually, I've generally had good dancer experiences in the club. The ROB I had was an exception, although an example of my "first-approach" rule.

And to your point on paying the extra $10. I'm 90% sure it was one song. But with Rap songs, it's hard to tell sometimes. I've held my ground in times past when I could actually tell when a rock&roll or pop song ended, but there was just enough doubt in my mind, I let it go. Although now, based on what I heard the first dancer whisper to the second, I suspect she just fuckin' played me.

It’s happened to all of us. If someone says it’s never happened to them, then they probably rarely get lapdances at clubs to begin with.

At least dancer number 2 was much better.

In my view - there are reasons why the sharks pounce the minute you get seated.

Some of them capitalize on that time where your eyes are still adjusting to the darkness of the club. I think your mind is still adjusting too - and you’ve not seen the other dancers - so that’s another reason the sharks need to pounce immediately.

The sharks make their money from the situation you were in. You rarely see a shark getting return business from customers. They don’t provide value - or an enjoyable experience.

"The sharks make their money from the situation you were in. You rarely see a shark getting return business from customers. They don’t provide value - or an enjoyable experience."

They're trying to maximize their short-term revenue. Probably club hoppers as well

-->"My new dancer confided that she instead told her I was basically a chump and to charge me $15 or $20/dance.Like the horny, time-constrained dolt I was that night, I agreed to the $15 (and I was going to tip her anyway). However, once underway, she expertly blocked me except for superficial touches.

-->"My new dancer confided that she instead told her I was basically a chump and to charge me $15 or $20/dance."

-->"Reminder to self - Never get LDs/VIP from the first girl who greets me at a club, especially if it's before I've barely sat down."

So, I think the lesson here is a little different! I mean, yes, the Door Vultures are very often horrible ROBs who specialize in ripping off guys who haven't got their bearings yet. But, really, the big lesson here seems exactly the same to me as with the recent post about the guy who got ripped off and blackmailed by a girl on SA:

• It's easy for us to want to give in to an initial small, unreasonable demand/request, especially once we're slightly invested. That's almost always the mistake that kicks off all the others -- rather than buy us what we want, it signals to the girl that we're a spineless pushover who is begging to be relieved of his money.

• We also imagine that if we refuse that first request (the up-charge in your case, the $40-for-nothing in the SA case), the girl won't like us, or it will cause drama -- instead, the best thing you can do is refuse even that first small request. The girls otherwise lose whatever little respect that had for you in the first place, and it's their signal to move to phase 2 (overcounting the dances in your case, more sinister action in the SA case)

• Also, avoid the Door Vultures :)

None of this meant as a slam, of course, every single one of us has been taken advantage of by strippers at some point or other, and you made a pretty low-$ mistake! But man, SCing is easier once you refuse the first unreasonable request no matter how small

I think the biggest mistake you made was not negotiating what will happen during the dance the cost you'll pay.

Another way to get around these situations is to not get dances until your drinks are finished.

I usually smile at them and tell them I need a drink first and I plan on being there for a while so relax. and then start walking to the bar.

I've had a few try and lure me into conversation with insults or a less than flattering comment but I just smile..........and walk away.

What I have noticed is some clubs never seem to have any door vultures, others it seems to be standard operating procedure.

And yes I got nailed just last summer in NYC although it wasn't a door vulture but it cost me a lot more than you spent.

There’s nothing inherently wrong w the first girl who approaches you. There were lots of other signs. You need to be more assertive and better at following your own instincts.

^^ Ya, there HAVE been stories about guys who turn down a girl because she was the first to approach, and then ended up hugely regretting it when they couldn't get her attention at all the rest of the night. Those guys have the opposite lesson: if an awesome girl approaches you, take advantage of it right away.

If a girl is an obvious Door Vulture, get rid of her. But I wouldn't unconditionally turn down a girl that comes over to me quickly. The main lesson is: the moment you get that first small-but-unreasonable request, it's time to cut your losses

When a dancer pulls some bs like that I'll sometimes just give her cash for one dance and send her on her way without even getting the dance. My mood is already ruined so why wait out the song. Ive only had to do this twice.

Yeah, it’s not uncommon on slower shifts, for only a couple girls to bother to approach customers, while the others all sit around w resting bitch face complaining ab not making money. No one here likes that behavior either. You have to use your own judgement.

RBF--laughing.......I haven't heard that one in some time.....

I wanna be bj99's atm!

Good points, Subraman. I hear ya, and unfortunately, my judgment/resolve was compromised by knowing I only had a short time in the club - like 45 mins worth. I was like a dude walking onto a used car lot after my previous ride had already broken down and I had to get something fast. Never a good combination for the buyer, and an easy set up for the seller.

And it wasn't like the first dancer was so compelling I lost my marbles. I just wanted to get some dances underway quickly and hoped that my lack of normal cautiousness wouldn't betray me. But no, the moment I dropped my guard - Boom!

That's why rules is rules in the first place!... ;-)

What Subraman said plus, at the moment she pulled that “extra for touching” crap, it should have been “OK, here’s your tend bucks,” followed by moving.

But I can’t give you too much crap, I’ve done similar.

You bring up a good point, gmd. Like with Follies and some of the new Cuban dancers not removing their bottoms on the first song (or ever), I hadn't encountered this "extra for touching" crap before. In my hurried brain, I thought that for a dance, I can handle it, and was likely to tip her anyway if the dance was any good.

Forewarned is forearmed. I now know to ask up front - do you get naked and allow hands-on? It's worked at Follies, and now it's needed at Flashers, too. Hate to get too direct, but really, we all know why we're in the club. No point in being coy.

I think when a club has standard dance pricing (as is the case in all the Atlanta clubs I'm aware of), it's perfectly reasonable for a customer to assume the standard rate applies until told otherwise. To be fair, at least the dancer did try to upsell during the dance, not after.

*Damn post button... But it's still ROB behavior. Especially in a club where you've been a regular, my reaction would be to end the dance immediately, pay whatever the standard rate was for only the dance(s) completed, and look for a better dancer.

My post wasn’t intended to prejudice folks against getting dances from the first dancer who approaches. It was intended to avoid the vultures who prey upon guys as they enter a club.

With respect to the OP’s situation - he was in a hurry - and that put him in a vulnerable position.

It’s like swinging at the first pitch - it can be a wasted swing - but there are rare times when you knock it out of the park.

Cashman’s baseball analogy is good. It’s a judgment call as far as swinging at the first pitch. It might be something nasty that the pitcher thinks you’ll go after or it might be the best pitch you see that at bat. Basically, it’s always a “best guess” kind of thing. Trying not to be too anxious going in helps and usually improves over time but we all midjudge sometimes.

Buying dances is for chumps. Front room makeout session, then when it is time for your own pants to come down, you invite her to the back room.

SJG

"The first dancer, however, came around as my new dancer started and whispered something in her ear. I figured she warned her I was a touchy-feely dance miscounter, so I inquired and mentioned how she ripped me off. My new dancer confided that she instead told her I was basically a chump and to charge me $15 or $20/dance."

That was your actual lesson. The dancer who liked your business well enough to tell you was trying to do you a favor. The first dancer who sat down with me the other day made promises, convinced me she was serious and delivered. No fuss. No muss. YMVW. We've all seen the jump you in the doorway sort of dancer, so yeah they exist. The art is to knowing when to roll the dice.

"You have to use your own judgement." <- What she said. No need to dwell. Walk it off.

The board didn't like the arrow in my last post. It wrapped up with, "What she said. Best not to dwell. Walk it off."

at one of my favored socal clubs i gave in to a girl right after i walked into the club during the afternoon shift change. she was allready changed into her street clothes and was tipping out as i stepped in. she said ‘hi’ and having seen her before i said hi back then the small talk started and then the vip pitch... that is the last time i’ll give in to a girl that quickly that i haven’t experienced before... in short we went to vip and she changed the terms of the dance after i first tipped her... (big mistake to tip first!)

Slightly different scenario, but one that has worked surprisingly well is when I first walk-in, I check the stage immediately (yes, eyes are still adjusting....) If she looks significantly good (allowing margin for adjusting eyes), I’ll go tip right away, and comment I had just walked in, but she looked so good I wanted to tip even before getting to the bar for a drink. Usually gets a nice smile and a question if I’d like company? Nothings 100%, but when I’m up for some heavy flirting or more, this seems to really break the ice early.

Rules are good but rules are also made to be broken.

Not drag lopaw into this — and I apologize in advance if she doesn’t want to be — but I remember she posted she had a rule at one time to always accept the first dance from the first dancer to ask in order to set herself up as a spending customer. That’s a little different than the guys ever need to do. I know I tend to have done something similar in the past when clubbing with a female civvie in the club with much the same benefit. It cuts to the chase back in the DR and on the floor. So even if that first dancer to approach isn’t couple friendly, the one who IS has just seen this and will now approach.

This is where subraman’s don’t-be-a-little-bitch or rickdugan’s hit up the sale for the 2-for-1-sack-and-spine-combo helps you deal when this happens. Don’t be bullied buy a teenager in her underwear! If you don’t want a dance and don’t want to tip her, tell her so.

Other times early in the shift the IT girl or the in demand girl will approach you. There are times where I got a dance or two and it turned out that had I waited (“eh, maybe later ...”), I would have missed out because 45 minutes later the line formed or her regulars came in.

Other times like rossl, is see something I like and would rather get the ball rolling, or because I’m on time crunch and don’t care to sit alone for 30 minutes just to finish my drink or just so see the rotation before making a choice. It’s not like I’m choosing a wife. Just Miss Right Now. ;P

It’s a good rule but at the same time it’s a silly rule.

Always accepting the first dance from the first girl (at the club price) is a good rule bc the point isn’t to get a good dance, and it does show you to be a paying customer. Then if you decline the next girl and have a couple drinks, girls will still approach.

^^^ Fake news ;)

Good points Bj99 and Dominic77. If you are an unknown quantity at a club - establishing yourself as a spending customer is a good start.

You ever say anything useful 25? ;P

You ever say anything useful 25? ;P

^^^ are you double posting bc you’re using the Back button?

It seems like founder changed something so that the Tuscl menu button isn’t working on mobile within threads but does on the main pages. At least it isn’t for me. :(

I assume the OP is about walking into an unfamiliar club or a club whose dancers are new to the customer. With that in mind, I try to converse a bit to get a sense if she seems like she has a pleasant approach or if the hard sell is the first thing that comes out of her. That kind of makes the decision for me. Typically I get a dance from the first girl that seems fun rather than annoying.

I keep coming back just to see Rod’s avatar - of that huge gaping hole - and now I’m getting double shots of Bj99’s soapy booty - so this is a very good discussion!

It seems to be fixed now. The browser looked different and nothing would happen when I hit post.

i liked to spread my money around, so i can know as a "spender," this strategy will eventually eat you up. I'm cutting back on this strategy drastically because even if i get robbed/upsold 1 dollar it pisses me off. The next time i go to the club i try to get that dollar back if you get what Im trying to say. this leads to a predatory never ending cycle where you are always trying to get one over on each: Stripper VS. PL.

If you have to think about it when you jumps on you, I will pass. i admitt it takes control.

I have to agree with BJ99. It really helps to weed out the non-spenders by seeing a customer actually spending money. I wouldn't say get a first dance to show you're spending. A couple 1's on stage does the trick

Sure, there are one toy of ways to show that you spend money, and you are open to being approached. Lopaw’s rules makes sense tho, and so do others. The OP’s does not.

“Other ways”

They get zero, nada, zilch. They have to earn every penny. No 1s-nothing.

They will find you.

think of strippers as homeless bums, if you give 1 bum money they are all going to gather and expect money for nothing. You cant feed all the bums.

With some exceptions for girls I know will do what I want, anymore I just walk in, go to the bar, order my drink and sit down. If someone approaches me during that time, I’ll chat for a bit to see what she’s about. But I try to make it the same type of discussion if have if I’ve been there for a while, light banter to see if she’s interesting, and on to deeper discussion to see if she’s interested.

Anybody, aside from the aforementioned exceptions, who asks me for a dance without chatting, whether I’ve been there for three seconds or three hours, will likely get (if I’m at all interested) something “let’s chat a bit first, you might not like me.” If she doesn’t sit down to chat, that’s my answer.

The "spend something, so the other girls know you're spending and should approach" thing is always weird to me, since that isn't a problem I end up running into, at least in the clubs I usually go to. Enough guys complain about "how do I get the strippers' attention" that I know it's a thing, though

That was very useful @Bj99 there are lots of ways to show you are willing to spend, without donating to the fugly stripper fund, I love you baby, even though the door vulture is your bff, she’s just not my type. ;)

The way to let the girl know that you're spending is simply to place money into her hand. That way you get her shifted away from selling dances, and so you can lead it. Get a front room makeout session going, and then when it is time for your own pants to come down, you invite her to the back room.

SJG

"Always accepting the first dance from the first girl (at the club price) is a good rule bc the point isn’t to get a good dance, and it does show you to be a paying customer. Then if you decline the next girl and have a couple drinks, girls will still approach."

This is what I suspected and I do have the habit of declining the first dancer that approaches me. It's like a "let me see what's in the store first before I buy" kind of thing

WRT “The ‘spend something, so the other girls know you're spending and should approach’ thing”

I can see that being a thing if one prefers to have the girls approach, rather than approaching the girls. I personally don’t have time to wait for a possibly busy, possibly shy, possibly not paying attention, possibly pissed off, possibly daydreaming, possibly a gazillion other distraction occupied, stripper to notice me.

I respect others’ desire to be approached, it’s just not for me.

My approach was always, "Patience Pays". If one wishes to get off quickly, well that is easily HANDled for a lot less $s. Also, unless there is a spectacular dancer that peeks your interest, let them come to you. Some obvious hints may be needed. :)