Dancers who say they're OTC but never meet

Actually a specific time and place, and I guess money too were agreed to?

Maybe they don't really do OTC. Maybe they were thinking about it. Maybe they just figured that saying all that would get them more ITC money.

For myself, I never talk to women like they are anything other than civilians. So there never could have been the sorts of communications which you are describing.

Before talk about any outside meeting would have occurred we would have known each other very well. Money would never have been talked about if she introduced the idea.

SJG

Yuja Wang & Lynn Harrell: Rachmaninov Sonata for Cello & Piano in G minor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y7eMee_…

We've all experienced the same, ad nauseum. A stripper's mind is a complex, twisted labyrinth of schemes and intrigue. Maybe the girls were just stringing you along, hoping to get you in the club again; maybe they actually intended to show, but then the day-of changed their mind. The ghosting on texts is standard stripper M.O. -- they deal with potential conflict by simply ceasing communication. Yes, I realize that if they'd just texted you "I'm so sorry, I missed our appointment because I got cold feet, and was afraid to text and disappoint you", you'd probably understand -- but that's not how strippers interact with customers, especially non-regulars

I can explain it. Strippers are flakes. This is their normal behavior.

You’re never going to get a straight answer as to why they didn’t show up. True answers range from they forgot to they never intended to meet in the first place.

Personally, I’d give them each one more shot and then move on.

That’s not unusual. Happens often.

Par for the course - you should actually be surprised when they do follow-thru.


Often times it takes being a regular and establishing a "relationship" for them to follow-thru but even then don't hold your breath - but if it was a first-time meet at the club, even less-likely.

If it were me, the girl and I would be on very copacetic terms before anything like that was discussed. And it would not be just a hotel fuck meeting, unless the girl wanted it that way. It would have to be more like a civilian car keys and wallet date.

The exception would be if ITC we had been able to have a front room makeout session and then backroom FS. In that case, okay to move faster going to OTC.

SJG

No matter how well you thought you got along in the club, it would be more surprising if they did follow through than that they didn’t. Same goes for texting.

I haven't had this happen yet but I can definitely see it happening.

One of the strangest things that has happened to me over the past couple of years was getting stood up by a dancer that for the better part of a month wanted to meet me outside the club. She brought it up, repeatedly and at first I took it as part of her wanting to keep me coming into the club - so I asked her what she wanted to do ( finally) thinking if we got into specifics she would either back off if it was SS or find out what she had on her mind. She got very specific and everything was a green light right up until an hour before the day we were to meet up.

And suddenly she went quiet for days. By the time she contacted me I was long gone from the area. Since then I have received a text or two from her but I've been cordial but that has been it.

One of my pet peeves is when someone waste my time. I don't hold any ill will and we are all adults and understand the risk and I was lucky in the sense that I was to meet her at a place that was not out of my way and I was able to meet up with some friends that night and had a good time without her but she not only could have been straight with me but she should have been straight.

Thx guyd, I appreciate the feedback.

If it makes you feel any better I am friends with one that does not involve any element of the Club. Purely a civi relationship. She flakes on plans all the time and "vanishes" randomly for a day or two. It is just how they are in all parts of their lives, imo. <-- and yes that is a broad generalization I know.

Don't take it personal.

Most strippers have kids and drama. They're not looking to invite more drama into it, esp with someone (you, us) they don't care too much about.

""I'm so sorry, I missed our appointment because I got cold feet, and was afraid to text and disappoint you", you'd probably understand "--subraman

The seasoned PLs would, but the newbie not so much. Some guys, esp the true PLs are prone to throwing just as much a bitchy fit for w/e reason as the stripper he's trying to meet. In her eyes, how can she tell the difference?? And instead of starting more drama, she avoids it completely. (and what stripper has ever written something that nice btw :) the best I've ever gotten was "can't make it, sorry")

Now it she's known you for a bit and you've made it clear to her what you expect, it becomes a different story.

OTCing is more of an art than a science

That is why it called stripper shit.

I've been late to this phone # game, but a few months ago my CF gave me her number. Since then, it's been dicey to even connect ITC for regular action much less OTC. I've come to the conclusion that it's just better to show up at the club and see what's on the menu that day than to try to arrange something particular.

Papi is right. And it takes time to get good at art. Find more providers. They are everywhere. You’ll have some great times but this no show crap goes with the territory (unless you find a DS).

Your best bet is to get a dayshift girl & plan OTC right when her shift ends.

Hire a private investigator to track her down

That's not unusual for a dancer to be a no show for a first OTC.

My first ever sex OTC was her being a no show 4 previous times. Three were her just not following through as seems what happened with you. The one where I couldn't just understand was we were in my truck getting close, but her stripper friends were in the IHOP. So she was trying to find a way not to seem like a whore and tell her friends I'd take her home. Well, she goes back in the restaurant and after a patient wait, unreturned texts, she's been gone for who knows how long. Well, of course I'm upset, but guess what, some days thereafter, I send her a text near closing time and she wants to OTC. I pick her up from the club and finally we get some OTC action in.

In regards to other OTCs I've had, he'll the second, fourth, sixth time could be a no show, but the first went off without any issues. Hang in there until you can't deal with there bullshit, or it becomes clear she's just stringing you along.

A few moths back I had one agree to OTC with me after having done 5 or 6 VIPs with me ITC. She kept up with my text messages for 4 days prior to our date and then no showed.

I saw her 2 months later at the club and she asked "Are you still pissed at me?" I said "what do you think after the shit you pulled on me?" Her reply was "I had issues". She doesn't even bother to ask me for dances anymore.

I had an old favorite who stood me up the first couple times. Then she finally did meet but it was ROB experience. Gave quick bj and left after 15 minutes (also brought along a driver). Finally met the 4th time and she came alone and we spent at least an hour together. We met on a regular weekly basis for the next 6 months until she moved out of state. Sometimes it takes money and patience to win at OTC game.

" Disappearing" for a couple of days???Anyone suspect drugs?

^^^ My very first ATF used to disappear for a couple of days, turned out they were drug-fueled benders of non-stop partying.

My current ATATF sometimes disappears for a couple of days, but it's a several day long hissy fit where she doesn't leave the house and doesn't want to talk or text with anyone ... assuming fits of depression

It’s actually pretty normal for a stripper.

It can be hit or miss for many otc dates with dancers. It’s not for everyone. A little time spent here will confirm that your experiences are not unique.

Strippers can be flaky. Otc strippers can be flakier.

If you think strippers have mood swings, try living with my wife and 5 kids. You’ll never want to leave the house, let alone do OTC!

I don't have much to add, just to echo the comments here, they are flakes. Getting a no reply is normal behavior. Sometimes they can ghost for a week (or more), but you try the next and it's like nothing happened. No sense of etiquette or responsibility.

It used to get me all messed up, wondering how they thought this was an adequate way to function. Now I don't give a shit. I just assume no reply and move on to another, maybe try again next week, depending how much (or little) I wanna see them again.

The no reply or flake can be for any number of reasons, or no reason. It's not worthwhile to even speculate.

If you still wanna try again, give it a few days or week, then try again. Or just pass, it's up to you.

Advice: Assume no reply, and try not to get worked up at all when they act like flaking is normal or whatever, you'll drive yourself insane if you care in the slightest about getting common courtesy from these girls.

I guess this is me being a curmudgeon but I'm of the mind if you waste my time once you are not going to get a second chance to do so.

Granted, strippers are a different breed, but the last time I checked they are still part of the human race and common sense and courtesy is something I expect. Like I mentioned I don't get upset about it ( makes no sense to whine or act like a jerk) but it takes all of 1 minute to send a text or call.