Are there actually strippers that enjoy giving dances?

Is this a question, or a rant? Bc it kinda sounds like a whiny rant.

you must not be paying her what she's worth....my girls seem to enjoy it.

The question is in the title, and repeated in the second paragraph (second sentence). I didn't feel i was ranting about anything, except maybe the lack of time these "unicorns" stay in the business, assuming they exist (which is the question). Otherwise, i don't much in terms of ranting or whining. You could be projecting. Should i guess that you're not one of the dancers that enjoys the aspects of actually giving dances? Or is it much more complicated than that? I imagine it might be, but i'm not a dancer.

I do actually enjoy doing dances, but you have defensive undertones that tells me you rarely feel like dancers enjoy you.

There are many factors that influence the dancers ability to enjoy dancing.

Many dancers enjoy being the center of attention. They enjoy putting on a great stage show.

In certain cases - it can be difficult to discern if a dancer likes what she’s doing. Some dancers may convince themselves over time - that they enjoy certain aspects of the job - in order to make it more pallitable.

@max_starr That was the thing. The girls i dance with, some of them anyway, do seem to enjoy the dance or pretend to, while others may seem more mechanical or focused on getting paid. I don't know if has anything to do with the absence of certain negative qualities which i stated. Who really knows, though? The dancers know.

@Bj99 Just trying to understand the difference between certain strippers. I'm glad you enjoy giving lap dances. If you are able to fully communicate that to the PL, i'm sure it only improves both of your experiences in the long run.

If a pl can’t enjoy a dance unless he believes the dancer enjoys the dance, by his terms, it puts added pressure on her, and can have a negative self fulfilling prophecy affect. Much like when dancers worry so much ab making money. It’s best to try to put that concern aside and just let yourself enjoy. Then it’s easier for her to relax.

Some dancers like PL's better than others so it's really about where you fit on their continuum. I tend to like a small handful of regulars, and for a dancer to become one of my regulars there has do be some kind of rapport. I know when a dancer fakes this although I appreciate that they make the effort.

The acid test is if she's bored on a slow day, will she hang with you for free or is she with her dancer friends...or another customer.

I think a lot of dancers enjoy giving lap dances but more of a satisfaction in being good at it, enjoyment in giving someone a wonderful experience, and probably the fact that their beauty, presence and touch is powerful. I tend to think of the experience more in terms of that a beautiful woman is trying to give me an orgasm. If I stop there and just enjoy it for that I can have a great time.

@theDirkDiggler - You mentioned certain dancers seem more into it and others are more mechanical. I tend to think of that quality presence instead of actually being "into it".

^ that’s a smart way to see it. It’s rarely about the customer, and more ab how she feels about herself and her job (except in those obvious cases listed above).

EDIT for typo:

@theDirkDiggler - You mentioned certain dancers seem more into it and others are more mechanical. I tend to think of that quality as being "presence" instead of actually being "into it".

i think some of them enjoy dancing due to the novelty, but after it wears on them it becomes a burden. my sample size might not be that big, but there was a few dancers that i could feel goosebumps on their legs when they danced for me. When i returned to the club after a few weeks, they became harden. They still wanted to dance for me but it became more mechanical.

When reading this discussion - after reading Bj’s recent discussion - I think about how some customers are disappointed when they go to a club on a busy night - and don’t find the experience they desire - due to the dancer being busy and unable to provide the experience they desire.

It’s not that the dancer dislikes dancing - but the situation doesn’t provide the time for her to provide the customer with the experience he might need. As some pl’s are more needy - and want that GFE type of dance.

I also think that some of the dancers that enjoy dancing for a PL are hot. not looks hot, but temperature hot. when they sit on your lap they are warm when you touch. the majority tend to be cold.

^ That is so interesting. According to the Taoist sexual arts, temperature (particularly in the genital area) is one of the signs of sexual arousal. Something i'll try to remember going forward.

Salty, I’d never thought of that, but it’s interesting.

It kind of feels like they have fever.

I’d be willing to bet more enjoy the work environment than let on, and as anyplace else some enjoy it more than others, the ones that enjoy it the most are the most popular, and successful!

@Paul Drake Being present usually requires a more enlightened state of mind and can be more exhausting if you just try to will yourself into it. Such as paying attention by concentrating vs. paying attention just from living in the very moment. But i do agree that a dancer being present definitely adds to the "reality" of the experience.

@twentyfive =>I’d be willing to bet more enjoy the work environment than let on, and as anyplace else some enjoy it more than others, the ones that enjoy it the most are the most popular, and successful!

That's how you see it and that's how i would think it would work, but apparently these girls get run off by jealous haters (not my words)...

Though there are some perpetually-jaded dancers out there, I suspect that their level of enjoyment hinges on the customer's enjoyment, and what sort of vibe he gives off.

^ I also suspect that part of the dancer's reaction/enjoyments besides the dancer herself, obviously, is highly dependent on the actual customer and not just anyone. There are just so many variables with individuals.

I will add that there is definitely, to me, a very different energy during a dance with a girl that is enjoying it, into it, present, whatever, than there is with someone just going through the motions. I'm sure other might have noticed this.

I enjoy the attention and the atmosphere. Its also addicting to be the center of someone's arousal.

I assume in some ways it's like any other job - i.e. plenty of people do not necessarily enjoy their job but do it year-after-year b/c it pays the bills.

Everyone's personality is different so hard to say yay or nay; lots of variables - but in general I would "assume" most dancers don't necessarily enjoy stripping particularly in contact-clubs - if it's just stage-dancing and air-dances, they may enjoy it more, IMO - i.e. how common is it for a female to like, and allow, being groped in a bar by a guy they barely know, especially one they may not be attracted to - seems to me most strippers do what they do mainly if not solely b/c of the $$$ - and in most jobs if that is the main reason you are doing it then usually one is not too-happy and it wears on a person over time.

Seems to me most dancers don't have other options to make the kind of $$$ they make stripping (or at least as easily) - seems to me the dancers that like dancing like it b/c of the $$$, for the most-part.

Not too long ago I had a dancer all over me like I was a BF coming-home from military deployment - on the surface one would think she really likes doing what she does giving her actions; but after she got comfortable w/ me she out of the blue tells me she really does not enjoy what she does - I didn't push for details b/c I didn't wanna go down that complicated road at the time.

Most of us have probably seen many a newb girl that does not last a shift b/c they can't handle it - and there also seems to be a lot of girls that seemingly gotta be buzzed (either alcohol or drugs) in order to dance.

Seems to me that most strippers "endure" stripping vs enjoying it - not to say there aren't those that do enjoy-it but IMO that is the exception rather than the norm.

twitter.com

twitter.com

I posted the one link on here last week because it reminded me of someone I know....still does.....but read through some of the comments if you want to get a feel for what goes through many of the girls minds and the thought process......and also you can follow some of the replies out and get a broader sense of what the dancer community feels.

Subraman and I both have commented on this although my take is a little different than his in the sense you learn the most on what dancers really feel by looking at their twitter accounts ( FB is for the family and friends and where they attempt to appear as if they have other careers) Instagram is to make their life look as exciting as possible or the FOMO syndrome. Twitter is where they rant.

Yes, i think many strippers prefer the idea/personal ideals of stripping (including the art of the lap dance/stage dance) than all the nitty gritty involved in actually make money in stripping, understandably.

I’ve had dancers orgasm while giving me a lapdance so I’d say they probably like it. I was just sitting there with a woodie poking through my jeans so I would say it was more them than me that made them orgasm.

^^^Dancer told me it was your thumb, said you only get hard when juice does a reach in. ;)

Yes some of them do, like Amelia said I think some dancers enjoy being the center of someone’s arousal.

theDirkD - I’m sure certain dancers enjoy the control when they can perform a sexy stage show.

I’m sure some enjoy the act of the lap dance too - when they can move and perform for a guy who is fully into the experience of the dance.

That enjoyment might come to an abrupt end when they lose control of the seduction - and it becomes more of a grope fest.

That’s not how I would handle a dancer - but I’m sure it happens in many dirty clubs.

theDirkDiggler, what if you knew that a dancer enjoyed giving a LD, but only if you didn’t touch her? Would you forgo 2-way contact voluntarily if you knew she enjoyed it knowing that you’d get less out of it. I guess the question is it is really her enjoyment you’re after or it is the thought, the fantasy, that she’s enjoying it more what you’re after?

Generally I think if the customer is respectful, pleasant, and the money exchanged is fair, then the chances are she will be happy to be with a customer.

=> Not too long ago I had a dancer all over me like I was a BF coming-home from military deployment - on the surface one would think she really likes doing what she does giving her actions; but after she got comfortable w/ me she out of the blue tells me she really does not enjoy what she does - I didn't push for details b/c I didn't wanna go down that complicated road at the time.

Papi, at least she was comfortable enough with you to be honest. I too wouldn't inquire more on that as that would kill the previous fantasy and put a bit of a wet blanket on any dances afterward. But things similar to that do make me wonder, and admire how good of a saleswoman these strippers can be. They can make it feel so real at times, but the reality and fantasy are rarely one.

@Cashman Yes, this is a case of conflicting interests between PLs and dancers. What one enjoys is usually not the same thing the other enjoys. Just think of how much work girls put into their stage show (especially pole work which seems to be more for the dancer than the PL) that is largely ignored and unappreciated (untipped) by PLs. Where the PL would probably just prefer the girl get naked, spread em and put her boobies in his face. Not sure how much dancers enjoy doing the latter, probably not much.

@Dominic77 You know, that is something i've often thought about before in my SCing days. For most of the early majority of those years, i frequented one-way contact clubs or moderate or less mileage clubs which had optional 2-way contact but for more money and limited at that (no titty or kitty). For a long time i was fine with keeping my mitts to myself (the cheaper option, and as i was so not an ass man back then, i didn't care to pay $10 more to essentially just touch some ass) as long as the girl was sensual and sexy and initiated a fair amount of contact on her own. And often a girl did complement me on being respectful and gentlemanly (not that i could touch even if i wanted to). Maybe this was code for easy money, but i think i did give off a rather relaxed vibe or energy that i still do to an extent even in VHM/UHM clubs today. But even if they seemed "happier", i still knew it was all about money. They weren't giving me any breaks and still wanted tips (without saying it, or course).

Right now i'm just too used to "full" contact and high mileage to pay essentially the same amounts (lap dances in the entire area and even a way beyond are all around $20-$30 each, usually $30 regardless of level of undress unless both are offered where the nude will be $30 and the topless $20) for a "lesser" experience. Maybe ignorance is bliss, but the cat is out of that bag. There are definitely girls that are not "comfortable" with these levels and i can tell. Many of them were used to working at the lower mileage/contact/nudity places and they never really adjusted or maybe they just didn't make that much money at the other places and thought this would be a better way, lol. Am i trying to have my cake and eat it too? Probably. But in a sense i kind of am able to do that with the ATF. She mostly gives me what i want.

I have noticed that some of the newer girls do seem like "naturals" and truly seem to enjoy or at least be comfortable being touched, even touched intimately. Almost like they were born to do this. But as it almost always ends up, as Salty.Nutz observed, this phase doesn't last long (only even a few weeks sometimes), or they quit altogether.

@AmeliaSmith - I like your "center of someone's arousal", that is a good way of putting it.

@Warrenboy75 - I personally thing trying to understand the mind of dancers through places that they vent is a bad idea. When I first started SCing I read a lot on the pink forum and got a really bad impression of dancers that way. If you just read someones venting it makes them look at lot worse than they actually are. I have found the best place to peer into the mind of a dancer is on youtube. Here is a stripper who posts insightful videos: youtube.com That girl is a total dream stripper BTW both in terms of looks, personality and intelligence. Would love to be a regular of hers!

My sense of this has always been that it is very mixed. For one thing 'dances' can mean many things.

But the kind that they really seem not to like are the ejaculation services. Especially LDK's, and then the rubber gloves and condom BJ's.

I have read things written by strippers saying, "In lap dances men can ejaculate" to explain why they don't do it.

Another who always wore thigh high boots explaining "I wear them for a reason". They don't like the ejaculations.

And then, "Don't use strip clubs for sexual gratification, that's perverted", meaning the ejaculation services.

So since dances can mean so many different things, let me give some examples from Strip Clubs, AMPs, and AAMPs, of what the girls seem to like and dislike.

1. At our local clubs, a dance is something done in front of everyone and it never can involve any touching. As I see it, it just amounts to a way of ingratiating yourself with the girl, and of getting a chance to talk to her. Girls like it because that is how they get money beyond stage tips. Also, very often girls will like talking to a guy, and seeing that she is effecting him. But girls also like outside dates, civilian and P4P.

2. It is highly prohibited, but it still happens on rare occasion, girls that are doing DFKing. Seemingly they want immediate OTC. They seem to love it. No self consciousness at all, they just go for it.

3. Our underground table dancing circuit, involves a fair degree of touching, and also talking, and though prohibited, sometimes kissing. Girls seem fine with it. And if they like you they might do prohibited things like climbing onto your lap and getting forehead to forehead, nose to nose, and sometimes some kissing. They seem to love it. And with that group of girls they are always trying to set up OTC, and they must love that as they are extremely good at it. And kissing in the club will often result in you getting covered pussy in the face.

4. In AMPs, if the girl goes for DFKing, which is way beyond the standard offering, then the FS which follows she will love.

5. In AAMPs, DFKing is standard, and the girls who are good at the sessions really love it. One comes to mind, I was just window shopping, and she walked up to me and DFKed me. So I went and got money and then came back and we proceeded with an extremely intimate MSOG session. This girl just coasts along all day, making guys happy, and on one big endorphin rush from her own continuing climaxes.

6. In San Francisco, there on the day shift, always trying to get girls into talking, even if the say they can't kiss. They say lots of nasty stuff about custies, and between the lines, it is always about guys who want LDK's. They talk of guys who try to extend it by holding on to their hips, to keep them grinding.

7. And then when front room makeout sessions do ensue, the girl loves it and loves whatever else follows.

8. Seeing that SF is not really a good situation to seek LDK's or such, I have always subsisted DATYing the girl. They always love that and it really seems to change how they relate to me. So if you want to see the girl outside, and they really can't enage in DFKing or good FS, they DATYing is great. It shows her that you are saving your load until the suitable time for FS.

They girls seem to love when they can engage with a guy in a manner which either will result in GFE-FS, or which at least is of a sort where it easily could.

SJG

One More Night youtube.com

Full Album youtube.com

I honestly believe that many of the dancers do enjoy dancing and all the attention I give them both in terms of my complete attention and interest and generally tipping well. I can get lost in a span of 10-30 dances easily....My expectation is I'll say when to stop, no need to worry about the tab.

Why should we care? Do we care if the car guy really enjoys selling cars?

^ we gotta talk about something

:)

"dances" is a gimmick invented in a certain type of strip club for taking money off of chumps. It is not really a good way to interact with a girl. So if you like the girl, you should think about how you want to interact with her.

SJG

i talk with a number of ladies in the clubs. a good number enjoy being a stripper/dancer. and yes... for some it is just a job. but the girls i enjoy repeatedly tend to enjoy the job and the experience.

@ Paul Drake--it isn't the only input I look at or consider but when I see a comment and a large number of likes or agreements or I see a conversation pattern develop I pay attention. I've had some great dances in the couple of years I have been back to going to clubs and I think some of it has to do with me being the perfect gentleman until she lets me know not to be one.

I've seen the video you linked--actually when I was trying to understand why my ex wanted to go back to being a dancer (especially since she had gone all over me about not going to clubs anymore) I looked around trying to understand the reason why someone who was college educated and well known in her community would take the risk to dance and came across the video.

I try to be pragmatic and weigh the good with the bad but by doing so you look at all means of information and that includes social media that allows you to see ( at least a little) of what is going on inside a dancers mind.

Yes there are some who do, whether it be for the sexual charge, the exhibitionism, the power they feel, etc.

@theDirkDiggler, most of the time I clubbed when I was 18-25, so naturally the dancers were roughly my age or a couple years off. Even though the clubs were light to no contact, it wasn't hard for the two of us to touch each other senually like boyfriend-girlfriend might. not really a grope fest but trying to discover each person's needs and find out how each likes to be touched sensually and how to build sexual tension, like 2 civvies might.

but here in the meantime for good of bad, Ohio passed its anti strip club law back in 2008 or something like that, limiting nudity and contact. So high mileage / hard contact isn't the norm here. I'm partly glad to have it so I'm not ruined forever by high mileage. Another part of me says, why should consenting adults worry about it?

Part my participation and reading online, both on Stripperweb first, then Tuscl relates to my return to clubbing, the new Ohio laws, and getting stopped by the bouncer for touching the dancer, the second dancer on my first visit. I thought I wasn't doing anything worse than some of the other guys there but the bouncer thought otherwise. I apologized to the dancer, but her sole response was "I don't give a fuck!" And suggested I come back to see her.

In a moment of arrogance, I found her answer unsatisfying and went online to find answers from other strippers. First to Tuscl but I found this place too disgusting at the time. Then to stripper's blogs. I jumped from blog to blog but didn't give an answer except for "it depends on the girl." One blogger suggested StripperWeb, so I lurked and posted there for a while. Some of the posts about PTSD from heavy contact from LDs horrified me and wondered it I or we were going something wrong by touching them.

Over time the anti customer resentment at SW grated on me, so I looked for a new home. Over time I got accustomed to what was written in the Tuscl forums. So here I still am. To answer doctorevil's rhetorical question, I guess it is sort of important to me that I club in sort of an ethical and respectable way. I guess it's maybe the sort of pseudo social and pseudo intimate nature of it. the other part of our Calvinistic roots as a nation and people, our attitudes towards women and sex and the taboos.

I'll tell you this was a lot easier when I was 18-25 when I didn't care thing about this sort of thing so much and just tried to enjoy the experience.

Omg.. SJG.. that’s just insane.

I am certain that some strippers enjoy dancing for their customers. But like one of my CF's says, every customer isn't worth dancing for. The last time I was at the club I go to nowadays, my CF told me basically how she didn't want to do anything for one of the other customers, but since he had money, she took it. One thing they have little control over is who shows up and sometimes the people who show up are people they try to avoid.

Bj99, do you mean:

" "dances" is a gimmick invented in a certain type of strip club for taking money off of chumps. It is not really a good way to interact with a girl. So if you like the girl, you should think about how you want to interact with her. "

As I see it, its perfectly obvious.

SJG

"... One thing they have little control over is who shows up and sometimes the people who show up are people they try to avoid ..."

Even worse IMO is who's willing to spend even if they show-up (IME in most-cubs there seem to be more spectators than spenders) - also, as a dancer you are not necessarily gonna be every custy's type - i.e. a dancer needs willing-to-spend custies to show-up; and hope there are enough spending custies into her vs the competition.

I genuinely like all my favorite dancers. I show respect, follow their rules, and do what I can to increase the pleasure they receive.

In return, I am confident they enjoy my company and enjoy our dances. Not in a SS, “ Big boy, you are the best, oh, make me come” sort of way. In a relaxed, enthusiastic, non-verbal response to my touch. It’s a friends with benefits vibe.