Seeking Arrangement gone bad ... The Salt Daddy

Call.Me.Ishmael
Rhode Island
I'm at the very beginning stages of giving SA a whirl. While doing a little research on the best ways to fill out a profile, I came across this article on the "salt daddy" phenomenon.

https://thecitybachelor.com/salt-dating-…

This is something that I'd never do. Partly because I have ethics (not many and they're fraying at the edges, but still...) and partly because it feels like something that could easily blow up in your face if you're not careful ... or even if you are. Anyway, I thought I'd put it out here for for you folks to chew on and debate.

I'm so shiny new on SA that I have no real feedback to offer. I will say that I don't understand why women under the age of 30 are compelled to take selfies with their tongues sticking out. I know; I'm old. You don't have to tell me. Still, it looks really dumb and not attractive.

16 comments

Latest

Subraman
7 years ago
I don't get the tongue thing either. I've mostly chalked it up to being the same sort of thing as the duck face -- women don't care that men find it almost always unattractive, or else they don't believe us; THEY think it's attractive, so by gum, it's going on their profile. Or, maybe, they're hoping to get across to us, "See I'm so young and crazy, I stick my tongue out! Also, if you want to take this as a subtle signal that I suck dick, that's okay!"

There's so many more disagreeable things on SA profiles -- in particular, the women who don't have the emotional IQ to keep their irritation and lecturing off their page, the many women who emphasize their political affiliations (almost always loony left around here) because evidently they can't hold a conversation with someone who has differing views without getting their feelings hurt -- that I tend to just ignore the stuck out tongue.
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
In the article, only read up to:

"... The general idea is that you sign up for a Sugar Daddy profile on a website like Seeking Arrangement. You lie about your net worth. You lie about your income. You take girls out on dates. You bang them. You don’t pay them. That’s it ..."

IMO most guys on here are not into ripping-off providers - most PLs on here seems to wanna pay a fair-price, instead of low-balling a girl or getting ripped-off.

Per the little I read of the article, it seems analogous to going to VIP w/ a girl then somehow skip on paying her - no bueno according to most TUSCLers, IMO.
twentyfive
7 years ago
The problem is most of the girls on SA think they’re worth more than they actually are, I’d say the majority that claim to be looking for a sugar daddy are really looking for a hand out and aren’t willing to be real sugar babies, they want a pussified type of guy, who has no demands on their wants.
As far as sticking out their tongue that’s idiotic but so are the pseudo selfies where they are holding their phone up to the mirror and just looking at the camera angle you know someone else took the picture for them.
RandomMember
7 years ago
Examples of salt- or Splenda- daddy behavior (taken from TUSCL threads):

1) Scheduling three girls on the same night, hoping to fuck one of them, and taking the first one who shows up.
2) Sailing into town on a business trip, sleeping with someone you met on SA, and never seeing them again.

The tongue thing, septum rings, excessive tats, and goofy Snapchat filters are all pretty common for the under-25 crowd. But I still maintain that you can find gems on SA, and much more efficiently than relying on strip clubs. At least if you're near a large metro area.
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
On some IG pages it seems some of the girls have a thing for wearing mouse-ears and a mouse-nose as if was somehow cute - def not sexy.
Jascoi
7 years ago
the things we put up with...
Titus23
7 years ago
@papi - I don't know if you're serious, but I'm pretty sure you're referring to a filter. Pretty much everyone uses filters these days on their pictures that add the ears/nose, smooth's out the cheeks, etc. It's like make-up, without the effort or expense.
JAprufrock
7 years ago
Funny article. Especially the part about being some slapdick drives a 10 year old Honda and lives with his buddy in a 2 room apartment and managed to pull the wool over these dumb broads’ heads.
I doubt I’ll ever do the SA thing (I’ll stick to Internet porn and my hands). But if I did I don’t think I’ll take his advice.
jackslash
7 years ago
Obviously a Salt Daddy is unethical. However, Sugar Babies would be glad to take men's money without giving them anything if they could.
Array
7 years ago
I’ve done the SA thing twice. Both times it was on a business trip, and I was completely up front with the girl that it was going to be a one-timer, although in one case it turned into a two-nighter. So, maybe I’m not a true SD, but I’m not the jackass that wrote that article by any stretch of the imagination. As long as we have a clear understanding of what’s going to happen and how much money will be exchanged I have a clear conscience.

My third SA date did not work out, as described in my post earlier this week, but again the conditions were clearly set up and agreed to by both parties beforehand and the girl was honest enough to alert me to her issues and call off the date before we got into a very awkward situation.

I think in all three cases these were normal civilian girls who need extra income and have accepted this route as an occasional alternative to hitting the street as a “professional.” I feel somewhat badly in using them if this is something they really dont want to do, but I’m not going to give them a handout for no return either.

As far as understanding the girls’ basic motives, I don’t think it’s too hard to figure out. If they emphasize or overuse the word “ fun” in their profile then they’re probably DTF. If they show a lot of skin in their pics or emphasize their cleavage then they’re probably DTF. Professional escorts list substantial or higher as their lifestyle expectations. If Friends with Benefits is shown as an expectation then you can look for a fun evening. If you see the word Romance then RUN! If sex is not going to ever be part of the program the girl will make that pretty clear. At least that’s how I see things.

What I can not figure out though is why so many girls show photos of themselves sitting in a car. Someone please help me out with that one.
Huntsman
7 years ago
I completely get the idea of being in charge of one’s experiences and not settling for the minimal experience the SA girls want to give. And I get not overpaying for sex or paying to watch a girl eat dinner. I also don’t care if mongers or providers want to act like someone they are not. It happens all the time.

But the writer of the article seemed to be pretty pleased with himself for deceiving his way to free pussy in the prostitution business. Treating other people fairly in life is just the right thing to do and he should’ve paid when the ladies put out for him.
Jascoi
7 years ago
in the car photo... maybe they feel financially challenged after they fill up their car. that inspires them to sign up on sa.
JAprufrock
7 years ago
The more I think about that blog article, it wouldn't surprise me if it were all bullshit and the guy just ends each night alone on the toilet set.
He seemed to be trying too hard to pat himself on the back.
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
@Huntsman ... And here's the problem (aside from ethics) with the Salt Daddy "strategy" ... if enough guys try this routine, then eventually the usefulness of the site degrades to nothing. Basically, the author of the article advocates a purely selfish scam at the expense of an increasingly poisoned well.

I'm not too worried about it, though. I suspect that the number of guys who are willing to be this shitty is relatively low. It interested me more from a sociological point of view. I was doing research on how to do SA right, and of course one of the first things I found was this screed on how to cheat the system.
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
@JAprufrock ... I thought about that and you may not be very far from correct. The website itself isn't a PUA site, but it has some of that sleazy, scammy swagger to it. I suspect that the author wanted to post something controversial and "shocking" to generate additional traffic to his site.
Subraman
7 years ago
Ish, absolutely agree with those last two posts of yours. "Tragedy of the commons" is exactly what it is ... *if* I really believed a lot of guys were really pulling this off. On the other hand, from the very first time I read that salt daddy article a while back, it has that PUA vibe to me. And based on PUA articles on how to pick up strippers, I default to thinking these are guys constructing arguments that sound good, to guys who don't know any better. Not that I don't think there are guys doing this stuff, I've had a number of girls mention that a guy tried to salt-daddy her, just don't know how successful they are.

BTW, I also have no judgement for guys who are using SA like backpage, basically coming in, looking for a single hookup, and moving on, provided they are up front about it and not manipulating the girls like those salt daddies. It's not what SA is theoretically about, but there are sooooo many escorts, and women who behave exactly like escorts, that it doesn't make sense to get bent out of shape that there are people on SA who prefer this model.

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