post your last text from a stripper
gothamyte
from that Adam Westsiiiide of Gotham
for monday shits and giggles
it don't have to be verbatim,
paraphrase if you like
more than one dancer, say #1, #2 or #A
it don't have to be verbatim,
paraphrase if you like
more than one dancer, say #1, #2 or #A
37 comments
dancer #2: Im good an I know it's been awhile
#2: Where do I park
#3: Hey babe, I got the flu yesterday and I'm congested. I will be at the club but not till about 2
DANCER: Going to charge u more next time.
ISHMAEL: If you're going to charge more, then you need to do more. We'll talk about it.
DANCER: I'll do more.
DANCER: U can't put anything in my butt.
ISHMAEL: This negotiation is at an impasse.
DANCER: IDK what that means.
ISHMAEL: Butt?
DANCER: I hate u.
Stripper: u comin?
Me: When? And Where?
Stripper: tonite - tha post?
Me: Yes. Unless I get busy at work.
Stripper: u want dis...
Me: I agree. If I can get out of work at a reasonable hour, I’ll see you later. If I’m not there by 8 - just assume I’m stuck at work.
I like to text full words and sentences - as it reminds me (and the stripper) - that I’m not part of the “hip” crowd - and to keep it business.
Stripper #1: "We are on the way see you in 15"
Stripper #2: "Can't wait"
#2: You too I’m sorry I couldn’t meet
#3: No, me either at all
#4: knowing me I'll end up hurting myself
- I need to borrow $400 or they will kick me out of my apartment
- I need to borrow $500 to get my sister (I knew it was actually her boyfriend) out of jail
- Do you have any pot
All the same dancer, all the same night in that order
Her: “I’m working tonight and soooo bored, cum see me”
Me: “that’d be great but I’m 350 miles away right now.”
Her: -= no response =-
#2 - Goodnight love (99% sure she doesn't remember my name)
#3 - Happy belated Easter
"I AM working keep me company"
and from another
"i'm boring, let's have a date tonight" I am sure she meant bored.
Come see me - I’m boring! Lol!
#1. When do you think you will be available this afternoon? Let's drink and watch daddy porn and Play in your hot tub.
#2. I'm going to Italy this summer. Can you use your miles to get me a ticket ?
I sent a note declining her invite. If only I had waited, I could have had a witty reply for her but I thought waiting would be unfair. She now has time to find another date for this afternoon or tonight.
Me: No not tonight. What's up with tomorrow?
Her:
Me "Probably Thursday after work"
Dancer "Damn I am busy"
Later...
Dancer "I want to see you so I will just be late"
Me " I will try to get there as early as possible" ( her place)
Dancer "Yay! <kiss emoji>"
:-(
Hello
Hey you there?
Helloooooooooo?
Me - "you sure you texted the right person?"
#2 ooooh yummy
Dancer: 6:53am: I had a really fun time I home you get home safe.
Me: waking up in hotel: 10:00am: just getting on the rode thank for an amazing time I will hit you up next time I pass through.
Dancer: "who r u"
Dancer: Hi, I am.
Dancer: I will see you later.
Boring, but my fave returns text messages quickly and doesn't ask for loans or hound you to come in.