Detroit Strip Clubs Raided, Shuttered

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Detroit strip clubs
Detroit Strip Clubs Raided, Shuttered

The Detroit News March 31, 2018

In coordinated operations across Wayne County, law enforcement officers raided the Detroit area's strip clubs, announced Wayne Country Sheriff Benny Napoleon.

"We found evidence of drug use, prostitution and human trafficking in many clubs," said Sheriff Napoleon. "Those clubs have been shuttered."

Detroit's notorious strip clubs have long been rumored to allow illegal activities. In many clubs customers can buy "extras," a code word for acts of prostitution.

The crackdown comes in the wake of a twelve-year investigation. Undercover officers have spent tens of thousands of man-hours to gather evidence of wrong-doing. Overtime pay and hazardous duty pay for the investigation total well over $4 million.

"Officers worked tirelessly on this case, putting in many hours of overtime late in the night and on weekends," said Vice Commander Anthony Comstock. "They have displayed exemplary dedication in the face of danger."

Those strip clubs found to be havens of prostitution and drug sales will remain closed, explained Officer Comstock. "Clean" clubs like Bouzouki's in downtown Detroit and Bogart's in the suburb of Inkster will be permitted to continue to operate.

During the raids, law enforcement officers arrested dancers and patrons caught in acts of prostitution. Strippers and customers were also checked for outstanding warrants and drug possession. Violators were taken into custody and booked into the Wayne County jail.

At the infamous Penthouse Club on Eight Mile Road, law enforcement officers found booths in which "lap dances" could be performed for all to see. The officers put up curtains to block the view.

The raids mostly took place without incident. Overwhelming numbers of officers hit the clubs to insure the safety of law enforcement. Most customers and dancers were not arrested and quietly left the clubs as police requested.

A violent incident did, however, occur at the Flight Club in Inkster. An old man, seated in "perverts' row" next to the stage, clung to a stripper pole and refused the lawful order to leave the premises. Six law enforcement officers had to beat him unmercifully with billy clubs until he released his death grip on the pole.

"I only wanted them to eat my lasagna," the old man cried as he was dragged out of the club in handcuffs.

Officer Comstock explained that "eat my lasagna" is slang for a particularly revolting sex act.

23 comments

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  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    ^^^^Pervert April Fools
  • grand1511
    7 years ago
    A sad day indeed......but this article has just one problem....Officer Comstock's first name is Richard....most fellow officers call him Dick.
  • FTS
    7 years ago
    Damn, you had me for all but the last couple paragraphs. I was like, whaaaat?! I never got to go to the Detroit clubs!
  • s275ironman
    7 years ago
    Very good April Fools joke. I didn't catch on until I read the part where Bogarts was described as being a clean club.
  • realDougster
    7 years ago
    Well done! Spot on, especially the part about the length undercover investigations. It always seem to take the "crack" investigators months if not years of undercover work to discover what any newb learns on his first visit.
  • Electronman
    7 years ago
    Well done! Put a smile on my face.

    I became suspicious when there was no mention of "customer exploitation" among the long list of wrong doings at the clubs.

  • flagooner
    7 years ago
    Well played Jack. I was wondering what original stories I'd read today. You still had me going until the comment about the man-hours and money spent. I wonder if it was all in $1 bills.
  • TFP
    7 years ago
    This was great! Like someone else said, I was sold until they described Bogart's as a clean club.
  • shadowcat
    7 years ago
    Fun read but unfortunately I was expecting this.
  • JohnSmith69
    7 years ago
    You had me for the first 30 seconds.
  • georgmicrodong
    7 years ago
    Dude, awesome. You had me until the “clean” clubs” comment.

    Well done.
  • TheeOSU
    7 years ago
    Good one! The first few lines had me fooled. :D
  • impala
    7 years ago
    You had me until you said "perverts row@
  • rattdog
    7 years ago
    eat the old man's lasagna.
  • Papi_Chulo
    7 years ago
    You dick.

    I was all pissed ready to start typing away how the cops should focus on real crimes bla bla bla
  • Subraman
    7 years ago
    Ha, good spin!
  • Subraman
    7 years ago
    I like how the undercover officers put curtains up, since the lap dance areas were in plain view
  • vincemichaels
    7 years ago
    Bogarts is clean !!! Put some Lysol in your beer and wipe down the furniture when you go up into the VIP area.:)
  • vincemichaels
    7 years ago
    Don't drink the Lysol, though.
  • Subraman
    7 years ago
    ^^^ re: "don't drink the lysol", I like it that vince is not over-estimating the collective intelligence of tuscl
  • Trish_Club_Lust
    7 years ago
    If they sucked those cops dicks this would not have happened
  • ATACdawg
    7 years ago
    I was suspicious at Bogart's, but the "old guy who just wanted to eat his lasagna" was what told me I'd been had. Well played, jack!
  • jaredlucas
    7 years ago
    Dilly dilly !
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