I Love You text

SS

The very first stripper I ATFed when I shifted from extras clubs to non-extras clubs, taught me the lesson of how easily strippers say "I love you", and I learned it from a succession of ATFs since then. I don't find it any kind of big deal, I just "love you" right back; sometimes I do it corny, "uh, love YOU" and make gun shapes with my fingers. All in fun. I do think these are dangerous waters if you're at all confused or might get sucked in; otherwise, just a fun flip part of the interaction.

What makes you think she's trying to have a romantic relationship, rather than just furthering the business relationship?

Did she say "I love you" as in "I'm in-love with you" or as in "gotta run I love you" at the end of the text?

I say it with faves, when I'm confident that we're both on the same page about what we mean. It's really no big deal 99% of the time.

@Papi & Subra
We go at it quite a bit, and communicate a lot too. Not like it's a Club only kinda thing, that's why I'm a little wary of playing along. I'vedone the casual I love U thing when both parties know it's just words, somehow I think one night be serious. I wouldn't bring it to this esteemed panel if it wasn't.

w.r.t. strippers IMO one should always be skeptical as to their motives, it's been reported on here that some actually lie, who would have thought.

IMO:

1) unless she's outright told you, decent chance you may be misreading this

2) could just be part of her hustle to make you feel special

3) she may be looking for financial stability

And yeah possible that she may be into you - what's the age difference b/w you?

Papi I agree with your comments but just a caution on the last question. Some ( not all but some --said so no one is offended) of the ladies we meet in strip clubs have daddy issues. Some big time. If the guy isn't 20-25 years he doesn't appeal to them.

On a side note an I love you text isn't all that bad.....could be worse.....she could say the same thing to you in person while you are in bed with her legs wrapped around you.........then things get real and you have serious problem.

With such cynical opinions, you will never find true love.

Listen to Jack

@Papi
Like 10 years. I'm certainly no newb. I've Ihad long term with a stripper before(1+ year). I see her extensively outside the club. Way past P4P.
Just don't want to go back down that road.
I guess I should know better, Any woman is going to want something as time gems by.

@OP: Are you "seeing" this dancer or paying her for sex?

^^^ When he pays her for sex, he has to see her. Unless he's blind.

My favs don’t say “ I love you” in text, they say it to me in person. That’s how I really know they’re into me :)

Papi offers excellent insight.

I think RandomMember’s question is a great one.

If you aren’t paying her to fuck, there’s a definite possibility she’s looking for a real relationship. When a p4p girl says “luv u” - it means less than when you fuck a girl without paying and she says it.

It can be tricky to get involved with a stripper who starts to think she’s in a real relationship.

Lately I Love You seems to be kind of a see you soon. Doesn’t mean too much in the context you stated.

lick-that: I realize YOU think she's looking for a romantic relationship. It's just that we all know that 1. when you're in the thick of it, your judgement can be compromised, and 2. from the outside, we don't see a reason to go along with you yet... RM's question seems pretty key, are you paying her ITC and/or OTC for sex?

Strippers use this phrase “openly.” Psychos on Tinder use it “seriously.”

- ‘Nuff said.

Good insight here. I may be in the same position as the OP.

As many of u vets here on the board know. Once your relationship goes beyond P4P OTC, u really start to see the "real" her and that can be a good or bad thing. Usually its bad.

My last atf told me this in person and insisted she was late in the game. It really didn't matter because I entered the relationship with the idea that the likelihood of her falling in love with me was nearly zero and what I wanted was simple p2p sex. After she told me about the abusive boyfriend who threatened to kill her and played me the audio messages of him saying so and showed me the pictures of him with a gun...Then moving out to be with her friends, I thought maybe she really wants to get away from this creep. But I still didn't think we had any chance, nor did I really want it because I'm married and although I wanted a divorce, my atf being a heroin addict and living with me wouldn't fly with the ex-wife in any way...So I just couldn't see us really being together...we spend a couple weeks together nearly every day but when my wife found out, she changed her mind about wanting a divorce and wanted to make things work and wanted to have sex with me all the time...So although i was starting to get feelings for this girl, who said she loved me...There were too many obstacles and problems...She ended up going back with her crazy bf.....who I met and eventually had a conversation with...I told him I'd leave her alone and give them a chance...Meanwhile i told my wife I'd give us another chance and I have. This is the only stripper I have had tell me she loves me, but it didn't seem entirely real...I think between the heroin and the abusive boyfriend I looked like a possible out until my wife changed her mind...And at any rate, she always wanted paid or something from me, had she spent time with me freely and or acted like there was anything beyond p2p other than lip service, I might have believed her...I feel bad for her, but I've moved on....and I'll not likely get as close again for a very long time...In the last 20 years I never got close to any strippers.....I just didn't feel the intense crush I felt with this girl....It was like my very DNA wanted to combine with hers...very fucking dangerous feeling....and the sex was better than any drug I've done in my life...my brain was lit up with endorphins to critical levels.

I like Subraman's take on this. Make it into something whimsical and not serious.

I got an "I love you" text once. I replied "Stop it." she replied back "lol". Never happened again.

Don't stress over it too much.

Little kids love adults that give them candy - PLs have candy that $trippers "love"

My first reaction to I love you was to ignore it....then she didn't say it again until I brought it up...a week or two later...Then she started saying it all the time...my mistake was asking, what did you mean by that?

"Little kids love adults that give them candy..."

Good analogy Vince, er, I mean Papi

@Max .
WOW quite a story those Bro.

I'm seeing "Seeing her". But it doesn't take away that she does what she does, if that makes sense. I don't want that kind of relationship. Been there Done that.

I rarely go to her club, stripper boyfriend I am not. I get the other bs texts all the time from other girls so it doesn't affect me. This girl man I don't know. I don't want to lead her on, but I don't want to clip her wings and possibly break it off either.

if she meant it, you not replying would not be an option. She would be pinging you to see if you say the same back. Women do not let an "I love you" hang if they mean it. You would be complaining about all the follow ups of "hey" "you there" did you get my text".

I get that at least once a day via text, snap, IG or in a phone call. That doesn't count the "love you" "Luv you" , "My love" heart emojis and a dozen variations. Several ladies say it during our OTC sessions or as we say good bye. They think we want to hear that.

@ K
I've spoken to her since, but kept it brief. It's just lkind of hanging in the air still. If she doesn't bring it up or repeat it, I won't.

Are you seeing her for free or do you have dates where you pay her?

Just keep pumping loads into her. Enjoy it while it lasts.

SJG

@Cash
GF Basically. But casual.
Yeah I want it to last as long as I can, that's why I don't want the complications.

OMG SJG, you are a class act.

Sounds like classic SS.

I wouldn't care what was meant, that's not something I'd write to a stripper even on a throwaway phone. There's no telling how that "love" stuff is going to read later out of context.

Of course I've heard the "L" word. I've also heard that I have a big dick. Just let it ride and don't reply with the same crap.

I wouldn't respond to it. You can address what it means if she says it to your face but until that point ignore it and just keep tappin dat ass! :-)

I’d avoid responding to her “I love you” statements. Based on what you’ve said - this isn’t a p4p relationship. If a girl makes a declaration of love - she will be keenly aware of your response. I’d continue to ignore it. She’ll get the idea that it’s not mutual -

Especially if you’re not paying her, not replying to “I love you” seems to make the most sense. Her words might be benign and mean “I like you” but it’s impossible to know for sure. Best to enjoy what you’ve got for now and keep it simple.