Humble Bragging

avatar for flagooner
flagooner
Everything written by this member is a fact.
This forum has to have one of the highest percentage of humble braggers (and many not so humble) on the net.

Just a few examples of what contributors brag about:

Cumming in their pants in the fewest songs imaginable

Paying a lot or a little for a prostitute to have sex with them

I'd drive further than anyone to pay to see tits.




57 comments

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avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 years ago
I smoke so much reefer...

Others?
avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember
7 years ago
Paying for sex is serious business. You just don't get it.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 years ago
LOL
I was really referring to how much or how little is paid
avatar for Warrenboy75
Warrenboy75
7 years ago
lol---1 & 3 never occurred to me as something to brag about..........2 is matter of perspective I never pay a lot or a little, more like the little bear......the porridge is just right...except the porridge is Goldielocks.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago

The guy in the white polyester suit locking down the hottest bouncer in the joint

The guy in the white polyester suit locking down the hottest strippers born before Saturday Night Fever was a hit.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
Patronizing the other posters on this board
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
7 years ago
Humble brag: Stripper texted me asking for money, so I showed her who is boss by only giving her $50
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
What surprises me is how many guys brag about "having game" or being sure/adamant that these women they are paying do actually like *them* and they are different from other PLs (b/c they are "gentlemen"; "dress nice"; "smell good"; etc CS).

BTW - I have 278 Trusts but you never see me post anything about having 278 Trusts - b/c I keeps it real (btw that was 278 - just in case you missed-it the first time - 278 - ok sorry; but yeah 278)
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
^^^even better give her $25 more than she asked for. LOL
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
@Papi Fuck You Jackie !!!!!;)))$
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
All I know is that the guys that post on here do way better with strippers than the TUSCL members that I meet in person.

278? Really?
avatar for Uprightcitizen
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
Bring LMN back!
avatar for max_starr
max_starr
7 years ago
I am a true PL.....I spent way too much money learning....and there is truly nothing to brag about....I'm just sharing my experiences in hopes you won't make the same mistakes...The only thing worth bragging about is...The sex is fucking good....I mean really really good....
avatar for houjack
houjack
7 years ago
You're just jealous you can't jizz in your pants during the first song.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
^^^Bragging about a medical condition known as Premature Ejaculation.
avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
7 years ago
Cumming in stripper mouths and getting off watching her kiss some suit wearing douchebag after.

Fucking strippers then my ex comes over and sucks off the pussy juice
avatar for gothamyte
gothamyte
7 years ago
Don't mean to humble brag, but I only spent $150 for chlamydia in January

*pops collar*

I know some y'all here paid at $300, for the clap...suckkassssss
avatar for GACA
GACA
7 years ago
"The guy in the white polyester suit locking down the hottest strippers born before Saturday Night Fever was a hit."

Shit...Are there any more strippers left who were born before SNF was a hit? Because they're old asses need to retire yesterday
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
Blanket lectures for some audience that isn’t even around, just so you can show off how not-like-that you are and get a bunch of “likes.”
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
@ gothamyte that made me lol!
avatar for GACA
GACA
7 years ago
It's not bragging if you're just reporting the facts :)

avatar for gothamyte
gothamyte
7 years ago
@bj99

yo, that $150 i paid for chlamydia INCLUDED the $20 into the club and $10 VIP cover...

#humb#humblybragging

*hits the dab*
avatar for GACA
GACA
7 years ago
Some of us younger than 40 have walked into a strip club and picked-up a stripper without an OTC fee (that shit happens) not bragging just reporting facts. Some of us have libidos so strong we wear the pussy out multiple times in once session without the blue pill, we can't help it just DNA I guess. I don't think it worth bragging about (after a four year dry spell) it just seems to be raining pussy err'where I go now days, is that bragging? Cuz for me it's something I take for granted didn't realize it was a big deal, thought it happened for everyone this way :)

I'm not gonna brag after years of not knowing exactly how to pay hookers for sex, to stumbling on and then improving on the System (38% of the time in two visits)

What's there to brag about..
avatar for GACA
GACA
7 years ago
So just for clarification, is it a humble brag when I report that while in a bar in Southend a "24 but I'm almost 25" year old East Carolina nursing student agressively flirted with me and eventually convinced me to take her home for hot steamy and ungodly sex?

Because to that's nothing I would think is worth bragging about.
avatar for GACA
GACA
7 years ago
I definitely don't want to be seen as a humble bragging douchebag on this forum..
avatar for realDougster
realDougster
7 years ago
None of the examples are really humble-brags, because they're missing the essential fake humility component. The essence of a humble brag is starting with a phony problem or dilemma that actually lets you draw attention to what you're bragging about. For example:

Boy, I've been so busy lately with all this new business at work that I could only manage two OTC sessions this week. I had to turn down 2 dancers, and they were both solid 9+'s.

See?
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
^^^Sorry ducky that doesn’t really cut the mustard ;)
avatar for realDougster
realDougster
7 years ago
@25 - Can you believe no one on TUSCL understood what a humble-brag was? I’m just glad I was able to take the time out of my busy daily schedule to set everyone straight.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
^^^Not so sure that you domaines yoself Lucy ;)
avatar for GACA
GACA
7 years ago
Ok.. so if I had a delima where I felt a solid 9 was getting to clinging and even though the sex is great I have a solid 10 who's looking to be FWB and do threesome with me but only if I dump the 9?

Something like that?
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
Splained fucking autocorrect
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
@GACA a little
I’d do a threesome with me and those two 10s but my stripper GF would get jealous.
avatar for realDougster
realDougster
7 years ago
@GACA. Now you’re cooking.
avatar for realDougster
realDougster
7 years ago
If you need more pointers, just look up some of Rick Dugan’s old posts
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 years ago
OMG, only $150 for the clap.

As dickroman would say.

ROTFLMFAO
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 years ago
How about the, "my daughter is in medical school..." recent post.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
Trucidos said "Remember when Ishmael and Cashman had a minor meltdown over me mentioning the purchase of a camera and the fact that I like nice clothes?"

lol
avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe
7 years ago
I agree with realDougster that most of these examples aren't humblebrags. Some are just brags, and others are actually kind of sad.

A really good humblebrag involves sounding modest but actually including subtext that everybody understands. Like saying "I went to a small college in Hanover" or "a small college in New Haven" instead of bragging that you went to Dartmouth or Yale.

"I can cum after only one lapdance" is brilliant, because you can have fun for little money, but it is neither humble nor a brag.

"I find the cheapest hookers I can" is neither humble nor a brag. It is more sad. And likely unhygienic!
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
I’m going to find some expensive shit - and overpay for it - and then I’ll post a discussion here so Trucidos and TheKingofTUSCL can read it and jizz their pants knowing that other dudes can overpay over their overpaying!

I’ll go to Subway and get a $5 foot long - and flip the counter guy a $20 - just to show I can waste my money!!!
avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
7 years ago
I think it's partially that we want to brag about certain things but don't have a place to do it.

I would never brag about how much or little I paid. I mention the money amounts purely as information as everyone seems to want to know that info. But I do like to brag about getting in on with a spectacularly beautiful woman. Even if did pay for it.

I am especially proud of my recent performance in TJ. I'm in my 50's, and I was capable of having sex 7 times in the span of less than 36 hours. I can't tell my wife that. I can't tell my friends that. I'm not even going to tell my brother that. So I come on here to tell that .
avatar for lolruned
lolruned
7 years ago
This discussion board is a bit of a cesspool of PLness, but I still enjoy it for how stupid the comments can get. How can you get a discussion board worst than reddit? Amazing. It would totally ruin my experience at a strip club, however, if the average poster here was the average customer at the club
avatar for lolruned
lolruned
7 years ago
Some of the members I truly enjoy reading their feedback and content and some members I'll very occasionally like what they have to contribute. It's usually a nice surprise when I find some good content, so that I can start applying it in my next visit to a strip club. Rest of it is just noise
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
I don’t mind if someone outright shares a success, or some awesome idea they’ve had, or a lucky break. What I find annoying is when ppl have use it as a way to kinda put other ppl down, w sneaky implications, rather than just celebrating, or sharing.
avatar for Uprightcitizen
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
My CF girl says I make her orgasm better than all the other pl's! I dont believe her of course but for some reason all the girls I have been with at the club would line up when I walked in the door. Whats up with that?

Did I do it right?
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
^ no. Try;

“Women Need Orgasm Too! Guys this isn’t rocket science. If you weren’t so lazy and selfish, you could easily please the girls you are with. They do it for you and they deserve to feel good too!”

There’s no real advice there. The real purpose is to show that you aren’t lazy and selfish and that you do care ab pleasing women.


Or this one that we often see on Facebook:

“Have Some Damn Manners! Ugh. I was just walking along, minding my own business (and not dressed slutty at all) and these rude frat boys in a BMW pulled up and called me gorgeous and invited me to a party! Eew! What creeps! Please don’t try to holler at me, when you don’t even know me. I have a man!”

The point being to brag that she was hit on, without admitting that she found it flattering. No one puts out a “Stop asking if I’m pregnant” rant.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
Did lolruned just call this place a “cesspool of pl-ness”? That might be a perfect description of this place!
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
In fact, none of the bragging (humble or otherwise...) occurring here is worth anything, because 99% of the time it's unverifiable by anyone except the bagger himself. That's why I give Trucidos shit. I also have expensive toys, but who gives a fuck if I talk about them here?

And, if we're being honest, almost none of the "bragging" that occurs here would be a source of pride anywhere except within the small petri dish that is TUSCL.

Imagine walking up to people in the supermarket and saying "Hey! I created a cum puddle in my pants in under two songs!" or "You wouldn't believe the price I got on OTC anal with a stripper who's 3 months behind on rent and lives with a guy who punches her! "

In almost all settings other than this, our behavior would be considered somewhere between abhorrent and sadly pathetic (hence our moniker).

As always, I don't exclude myself from from these opinions.
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
^Humble brag that you are all self-aware and shit. :P
avatar for Heellover
Heellover
7 years ago
Number of dances in a row. Number of days in a row "strip clubbing"
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
Bj99 said "^Humble brag that you are all self-aware and shit. :P"

Hmmmmmm...

... fine.

It's a fair point.
avatar for realDougster
realDougster
7 years ago
To be honest, I don’t have that much of a problem with humble bragging

What we really need to talk about is @twenty-five’s bullying
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
7 years ago
I'm proud to say I've never achieved bankruptcy from clubbing thru 40 years plus.
avatar for lolruned
lolruned
7 years ago
^
I wouldn't even consider that humble bragging. You're stating that you have self-control like a responsible human being. Therefore, you're able to continue enjoying your hobby for a long time. That's the kind of feedback that would be encouraging to see for other members since you're sharing your experience. I see nothing wrong with that and saying something like this
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
7 years ago
"I’ll go to Subway and get a $5 foot long -"

Wow, Cash! Only $5? That's like, only half of what Viagra costs!!!!!
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
ATACdawg - $10 per blue pill? That’s expensive! I can get a bottle of Horny Goat Weed for $20 at Walgreens - that shit must be safe and effective! It’s sold in a drug store! Lol!
avatar for realDougster
realDougster
7 years ago
"I wouldn't even consider that humble bragging."

Right. Trust Vince to do it rong.
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
7 years ago
I’m not very good at distinguishing what is a humble brag or humble brag done poorly. But I just assume that a lot of what gets posted here is dubious in the first place. That’s true of about the internet generally and, I suspect, multiplied here.
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