My CF (soon to be ex-CF I think) is married with children. The kids are from her husband and the oldest is 9, so they are an intact family unit that has been together for a long time. I am sure that I popped her OTC cherry in 2016, but I am not the only one who she has seen since it happened.
I used to never think twice about this sort of thing. She's a grown adult after all and can make her own decisions. She is also far from stupid. But recent actions of hers (which I posted about on here) make me wonder if I did her family a disservice by starting her down the OTC path. In particular, I am wondering if I contributed to furthering a rift that was already forming between her and her spouse. Not only because of the her OTC activities, but because of endless conversation we have had ITC and OTC about our respective families. Net-net, when it all shakes out, I'm wondering if her kids would have been better off if this girl never met me (and maybe a few others like me now).
Idk. I'm no narcissist and she has a lot of things going on in her life that have nothing to do with me. I am just one of multiple strip club regulars that she has. But I can't help but wonder how much I contributed to her changing viewpoints about her own marriage, especially with what happened recently re: her offer to see me without the need to pay her.
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Yes. She would have been better off if she’d never met you, if that means she wouldn’t have gone down that path. Sex is more important to men’s self esteem than they admit, so if he knew, there would be jealousy, suspicion, and resentment. If he didn’t know, it’s more lies to come between them.
Moulin Rouge illustrates for dorks, like me, who like this sort of thing.
Oh, and also, imagine how it would feel if your wife had to turn tricks bc you couldn’t take care of her.
Fucking another guy’s wife for money might be a negative for their marriage. You really think so?
On the one hand, I think your concern here is valid. You might not be the proximate cause of whatever marital problems she’s having, but it seems likely you and the others she’s seen are contributing factors.
On the other hand, it also seems likely to me that those problems could have preexisted your involvement, and would eventually have manifested despite your involvement. That’s going to come across as a self serving rationalization, and to a certain extent it is, but I can only go based on my own experience with the MILF and my ATF. Both married with kids, and my involvement hasn’t appeared to have caused any problems that every marriage encounters from time to time. Not only that, but my own marriage hasn’t suffered some thirty years of what most of you would call “infidelity”, but isn’t such at all.
Not sure what to tell you, other than it’s water under the bridge, and you’ve decided to stop seeing her, so to whatever extent you’re responsible for, or a contributor to, her issues, while you can’t change what you’ve done, you can at least stop doing it.
Certainly our own Rick Dugan is “no narcissist “
"Fucking another guy’s wife for money might be a negative for their marriage. You really think so?"
LOL!
Most of @Dugan's stories are depressing in one form or another. Whether it's a heroin addict, a flood refuge, or a desperate middle-aged stripper.
@Randumb, interactions with strippers are a two-sided coin. The bad comes with the good. It's only natural that the bad will become discussion fodder more often than the good. After all, how interesting or unique is something like: "She was wonderful ITC, which was followed by a fantastic trip OTC, after which we parted ways with a final kiss and promises to see each other again soon." When things are going right, this is the norm. It's the other 20% that often bears the most discussion.
@Bj: Great points. There are parts of this story I left out regarding his actions and suspicions in general and, more specifically, regarding me. I also did not detail his employment struggles. Some of these specifics might give away too much, especially as we have a few active members on this board who frequent the same clubs that I do.
@doctorevel: And fucking her good to boot. ;) After so many trips with her OTC, she's become comfortable enough that she's been volunteering her likes and dislikes. Getting her off is now part of the fun for me, especially when she isn't giving it to her hubby often due to their ongoing struggles.
Half of all marriages end in divorce. Arguing about money is the number 1 or 2 reason. So, what do you think the odds are when the wife is the major bread winner, working as a stripper ? Sure, moving on to OTC worsens the odds of a marriage surviving, but it was already pretty iffy. Plus, it’s unlikely the marriage was solid if she chose OTC.
If she hadn’t met you - and done otc with you - it would have been another guy. Her marital issues are her own. Your presence and proposal of otc were just the offerings that got her to begin doing otc.
She’s got her own issues with her hubby. Just enjoy fucking her - and enjoy the free pussy soon too!
I wouldn't blame myself if I were you. Truth is a girl who loves her man doesn't try to hurt him. She took up your OTC offer because at that point she already was thoroughly dissatisfied with him in the first place. She wanted to lash out like any woman would in secret. Women love hurting men who hurt then without their knowledge.
So hate to burst your bubble but it could have been just about any PL with a little cash to get her to go down this road as evidence that you are now not the only one.
The key words in the first paragraph are “ long time.” Nine years is a long time for a lot of marriages and is when a lot of people are seriously questioning why they ever got married or if they married the right person. I lasted a bit longer, 12-15 years before I started asking those questions, but it will happen in almost all marriages. So, I guess I’m saying that you should feel a little guilt, but certainly don’t feel that any problems are all on you.
I know I’ve popped a couple ITC cherries, both unmarried, but I made it clear to the girls that we wouldn’t do it unless they were fully on board with any potential long-term guilt.
@BJ, I love the tango, sexiest dance ever! I don’t dance but if I did that’s the one I want to learn. I once went to a tango show in Buenos Aires. I couldn’t help but wonder if they had one giant orgy afterwards!
Your self-introspection is remarkable
IMO Dugan would make a great recurring guest on Maury Povich
Would not be surprised if her husband is also sleeping around and could be the reason she started doing what she does
^^^I thought Jerry Springer
^^^ Possibly Dr. Phil
Maury Povich is keeping the paternity test business going. Those guys know damn well whose kid it is. They are just hoping for a huge computer error to clear them from taking responsibility.
Rickdugan would be an expert on Dr Phil. He could refute the husbands claims - and tell everyone what really happened when an out of work hubby offered a struggling stripper $50 for full service - otc in her trailer....
^^^And on Jerry he could be the customer waiting in the backstage area before the next segment. As tough as he is he could be the “Dude” see if any of those cuckolds want to throw down against the “Manly Dude”
@Dugan your humble brag is def world class, but that’s no surprise to those of us who understand your desperate need to fit in somewhere, again allow me to suggest Stripper Web.
Twentyfive - i think you got it right. Dugan is an opportunist. He would wait back stage - to see which guy took a beating. Then he’d sympathize with the girlfriend - and offer to help her with cab fare back to the trailer park... and maybe a few Red Bull’s and vodkas later -
Gents, I don't feel remotely good about this - there is nothing for me to be proud of here. As someone who cherishes his own family unit above all else, including the stability that it brings to my children, I want no part in feeling like I contributed to problems for another one. Her kids are innocent in all of this, but yet they will bear the brunt of problems with their parents.
If this is reality tv fodder, then what can I say? Deal with enough strippers long enough and I suppose a certain number of these odd situations are inevitable. Anyone who thinks that these discussions are not topical on a strip club site can always go back to discussion Ford Roadside Service and SA girls I suppose.
^^^schadenfreude
Papi posted: "Your self-introspection is remarkable"
Idk where I sit on the self-introspection spectrum, but I cannot be the only one around here who occasionally questions what he is doing with strippers. For me it is the only way that I can keep myself centered and put this all in the proper perspective.
^^^I think Papi was being sarcastic you narcissistic moron.
It’s important to evaluate your clubbing and it’s effect on others from time to time. However, with the stripper you are referring to, you were simply in the right place at the right time. If it wasn’t you fucking her otc - she would have fucked another customer otc.
IDK it may just be me but I found the roadside-service thread a lot more thought-provoking - to each their own I guess
^^^ROFLMAO
I don’t think I’ve ever even gotten dances from a married stripper.
Twenty, I may have missed his sarcasm, but you do realize just how ridiculous it is for you to be calling anyone else a moron, no? ;)
Oh, and nice example of more snarky ankle biting. Nip nip old man. :)
That’s Mister Twentyfive you, you ding dong. We are not on a first name basis and doubt we ever will be.
Ok Twenty. Nip nip. ;)
Oh, and if you're going to use words from other languages in some misguided pseudo-intellectual attempt at making a point, at least do so properly. Schadenfreude is a special term that always starts with a capital S. See, nip nip old man. :)
"Married with children"? What would Al Bundy do?
According to Webster’s English dictionary “schadenfreude”is often capitalized but not necessarily, look it up if you like my usage was correct. And Get off my lawn you little piss poodle !
Don’t worry. Some other PL would have popped her OTC cherry. So you win. Her marriage would have gone to shits eventually anyways.
The very first response started, "Yes. She would have been better off if she’d never met you..."
All of us would be better off if we'd never met you.
^^^And I wonder has anyone ever met Ricky Boy ?
@rickdugan: “I cannot be the only one around here who occasionally questions what he is doing with strippers.”
You aren’t. But I suspect that some of the more hostile responses you’ve gotten are from people who recognize themselves in this post, and are...reluctant to face that fact.
I know I’ve been in the position you’ve described, along with a host of others that have left me with a sometimes unpalatable decision to make, more than a few times in the last three decades. Sometimes I’ve walked away, and sometimes I’ve accepted that good pussy has a price I can live with.
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