What should I do about this dancer?

realDougster
Navigating the post-FOSTA apocalypse
Need your advice, fellow TUSCLers. There's this dancer at the club, let's call her Bridget, who has latched onto me for some reason (I think I made the mistake of tipping her $20 on stage one time by accident).

Anyway, when I visit the club she always seems to be sitting alone in the booth off to the side, and as soon as she sees me she rushes right over. Now, it's not that she's hideous - her body is a solid 7, face a ~ 6 in the right light - but she's just not my type. Plus she has kind of an off-putting personality, always talking about weird stuff like pedophiles and stolen valor (whatever that is).

So I walk into the club the other night and same thing happens, she comes over and sits down uninvited. I politely tell her I'm waiting for someone, she says she'll keep me company until the other girl shows up. She starts prattling on, I'm doing my best to ignore her, when the DJ said something about VIP rooms, and Bridget looks at me and says, "Hey sweetie, when are we getting a VIP?" I was trying to think up another lame excuse, when I remembered Subraman saying (for about the 1000th time) to be clear and direct with strippers, so I looked her straight in the eye and said, "Bridget, I am never, ever, getting a VIP with you."

Well, her eyes kinda bulged out and she got this crazy look, stood up, and started shouting: "What's wrong with you? I'm one of the most popular dancers here! My customers overwhelmingly prefer me! You must be GAY!!"

That was embarrassing enough, but then she leaned in really close and whispered that I needed to be "punished" and that the next time she saw me in the club she would "cut" me.

So, should I be worried?

31 comments

Latest

  • anon4231
    •
    7 years ago
    Tell the manager about the threat, get her ass fired. And watch your back in the parking lot after that. :P
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    Next time leave your chaps and merkin at home. Unfortunately, sometimes dancers judge customers on how they dress. If you are all dressed up for Blach Panther, you might want to bring a change of clothes, so that you give the impression you are looking for.
  • twentyfive
    •
    7 years ago
    excuse me while I consult my Dream Translation Book.
  • vincemichaels
    •
    7 years ago
    Douchester in a club ???? Where's your review ???
  • Warrior15
    •
    7 years ago
    The answer to your question is YES. Be afraid, be very afraid !
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    You know...after rereading it, she was prolly just really excited to find a possible gay bff. They get snagged up fast by the dancers. No wonder she was being a little possessive.
  • realDougster
    •
    7 years ago
    @anon, @ Warrior - One of the other dancers told me once that Bridget keeps a box cutter in her Crown Royal stripper bag, so it is a little worrisome.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    7 years ago
    Have you told her about your frequent herpes outbreaks
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    Wow! Better watch the straps on those chaps. Maybe catch a ride on SJG’s handle bars next time, and just enjoy this pussy overflow... if you like that sort of thing.. fingers crossed that you don’t! ;P
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    @ Papi.. that’s no fun, realDougster and I won’t be able to share bikinis and stuff!
  • twentyfive
    •
    7 years ago
    @ Bj99 maybe you can go merkin shopping with him. ;) nobody wants their bush snagging on their bikini ;(
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    Sounds like he needs a more manly one. Maybe one w a Mohawk..
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    7 years ago
    You should probably just give her all your money. And eat her ass.
  • Dblednmike
    •
    7 years ago
    Spiked Mohawk and colored. That’s manly.
  • flagooner
    •
    7 years ago
    Bridget sounds HOT. I'd take her for a bubble bath for two.
  • realDougster
    •
    7 years ago
    Hey guys, just wanted to give you a quick update (especially for everybody that was worried about my personal safety). I returned to the club last night, keeping my head on a swivel, and my body loose, ready to use the Delta Force self defense moves Vince Michaels shared with me (thanks, buddy!), but everything was cool.

    Bridget came up to my table and started to apologize profusely. She said she was sorry for acting like a brat and yelling at me and for any drama I felt, that she was not really aggressive, but she just felt embarrassed and uncomfortable when I turned her down because she's one of the most popular dancers there, her customers overwhelmingly prefer her, blah, blah, blah...

    I was thinking to myself, "Right. Whatever," but I just kept smiling and nodding. Then she offered me a free (air) dance, to show there were no hard feelings. I was trying to think how I could politey decline without causing another scene (What Would Subraman Do?) when another customer walked in.

    He stood just inside the entrance and nervously scanned the room. When he looked over in our direction, he froze, and got this deer in the headlights look. Then he turned away and put his open hand next to his face like he was trying to hide or something. Anyway, guess he wasn't fast enough, because Bridget said, "Oh, there's one of my regulars, I need to snag him before one of these other bitches grabs him." I breathed a sign of relief, and when on to enjoy the rest of my visit.

    Funny thing, tho, when I finally left the club, and went to my car in the parking lot, someone had slashed my tires :(
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    That’s awesome realIntoDougster! But I think Papi was kidding. Even if you are just looking for a BFF to help you choose a more masculine set of chaps, you shouldn’t go around telling everyone you meet ab your herpes outbreaks.. the
    “I ❤️ Dougster,” tank top and bumper stickers prolly don’t help either..
  • Cashman1234
    •
    7 years ago
    This Bridget could easily be trying to find a bff. I’d recommend you ask her to go for an otc mani pedi - maybe enjoy a few mimosas together at brunch too.

    If she’s smooth below the belt - you could also set up a hers and hers waxing appointment. She might have a few tips on anal bleaching.
  • Cashman1234
    •
    7 years ago
    I doubt it was Bridget who slashed your tires. Although the “Follow me to the glory hole” bumper sticker might be a bit obvious!
  • max_starr
    •
    7 years ago
    That's funny....If she told me I was gay I'd just agree with her....The girls that have banged me would say otherwise....
  • twentyfive
    •
    7 years ago
    Hey Bridget those ass-less chaps aren’t a particularly good look on a pasty white, obese guy, I suggest taking him out shopping for a burka and a hijab. ;)
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    I could handle the embarrassing,
    “I ❤️ Dougster” tank top, but any stripper BFF would try to steer him away from wearing those chaps in public. I would imagine his ass gets pretty cold in those theatre seats, and it’s no wonder he’s getting such reactions at the strip club.
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    I would also try to get him to give up the Merkin and get his man-vajayjay vajazzled, instead!
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    7 years ago
    See, if you’d done what I told you, you wouldn’t have this problem.
  • wildbourbon
    •
    7 years ago
    In my experience the best dancers don't have to tell you "I'm the most popular dancer here" and the ones who go around the club using that line to snag customers are actually among the least popular. I've seen the hand curtain and duck move used by more than one PL while trying to avoid "the most popular dancer"
  • realDougster
    •
    7 years ago
    ^^^you make some good points, wildbourbon
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    @ Wildbourbon, what if she has “popular” vagazzled above her vajayjay, and just didn’t want IntoDougster getting the same thing? (He can get “ho fo sho”)
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    7 years ago
    Nobody here is worried about your safety.
  • JackScott
    •
    7 years ago
    I agree that the most popular dancers don't have to make it known. But in my own experience with popular people, regular folks like you and me are actually "popular" to them. I have an acquaintance with a Hollywood "b-list" actor who would call me almost every other day and we would talk about all kinds of things. I would wonder to myself, "why does she want to talk to little-old-unfamous ME?" when she has direct contact with almost every single A-list actor, singer, and athlete that you can think of. So one day while I was traveling to LA on business, she invited me out to a casual dinner party where there would be 200-300 people there. Like an idiot I declined thinking that she was just "being nice" or just offering some form of politeness. It wasn't really an official invitation but more like, "There's a party at the 50/50 restaurant. Why don't you drop by?" Again, thinking to myself that I'm not famous or popular, and with 300 people in the house, nobody would even care that I was there. Boy was I wrong! The next day she was very hurt and disappointed (to put it mildly) that I was a no-show. I made up a story about how my meeting ran late and I was too tired and she understood and forgave me but I learned I can't take myself for granted and how important I am to others... no matter how famous they might be.

    So this might have been a long way to get to the point that if your dancer was indeed the most popular girl in the joint you were probably her "celebrity" and/or all-time-favorite.
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    ^ see, intoDougster! You were prolly Bridget’s ATF! Must be how that Merkin tickles when she gives you dances. :) Maybe you should keep it afterall.
  • Bj99
    •
    7 years ago
    Or maybe you are someone kinda famous, and you’ve been rocking those chaps! You should have more patience w your fan girls. Shantay, you stay!!

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E3FAZbV4J3…

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