Memphis for Hallowe'en

I write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.

10/30/2006 12:29:00 PM

I'll be in Memphis ... umm ... NOW. I'm heading there this evening (October 30) and will attend enjoyable varieties of adult opportunities on the evenings of the 30th, the 31st (watch those kiddies and speed zones! don't want to curtail horniness because of traffic and officer difficulties!), the 1st, and probably the 2nd.

You can identify me thusly: I have a cropped short brown/red beard, short receding hair in a flattop (less radical than Johnny Unitas, but still military looking), and I often smoke a tobacco pipe. I invite any of you to contact me by walking up to my table, stripping to your bare torso, using a cigarette to burn hideous bleeding scars in the form of either a swastika (for you Republicans) or a Shree Rajnah Dalvish Puram Bleeding Heart With Holy Mother Of Excessive Charity Dolorosa Teardrops (all others), then screaming at the DJ, "You suck and I'm fucking your wife!" while groping all male customers and pouring alcohol onto all male staff members. Please continue this performance until club security arrives, at which point you may cease and I will know that it's you.

Or you could just introduce yourself. :)

8 comments

Latest

Book Guy

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18 years ago

Parody -- I'd have to agree, it's not a great hobbyist's destination. One or two clubs are "standard" fare, above-average but not necessarily noteworthy. The Platinum Plus place can pretty much guarantee a coupla hot women, and the contact is fully "Tampa style" but no more except with particular girls. Other clubs are less exciting. This means, that by Tampa, New Jersey, Vegas, Miami, Houston, Dallas, Toronto, San Francisco, Seattle, St. Louis, or Los Angeles standards, Memphis pales.

I have, alas, already left Memphis, Bones. Just got your message. I was whipping through town finishing up stuff so that m y move can be completed. I now live out of suitcases and have neither home nor job! My "stuff" (furniture, stored clothing, books books books, CDs, sports equipment) is all in a storage place in the center of Mississippi (a family home where storage is free; no, I didn't PICk the location!). My car, I hope, will continue to run.

Where to next? :)

Book Guy

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18 years ago

Gonna try tonight. I'm getting closer to Memphis employment every weekend. Too bad there'sd Memphis potential wallet-drainage so close to all Memphis potential employment.

Ah, the vagaries of our chosen hobby ...

Book Guy

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18 years ago

Bones: just got that message of yours. Gold Strike, Tim, swing shift. I'll try to remember it.

Book Guy

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18 years ago

In my trips through Memphis recently, I've met:

Shelly ("chunky" but not overweight, hard-of-hearing, brunette from Nashville) who is kind of famous on this board

Justice (petite Audrey-Hepburn lookalike with bobbed brunette / red hair, tiny firm natural tits) and her (freakishly skinny but sexy) friend Dusty

These girls are discussed, among others, as Memphis standards. Anyone got an ATF they want to mention? I'll be back through town again soon. Back-channel me if you want (book underscore guy at yahoo dot com).

casualguy

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18 years ago

I really had an exciting Halloween night (sarcasm). I went grocery shopping at Walmart and found it not to be crowded at all. Apparently a bunch of my fellow workers where I work at had the same idea because I ran into about 4 or 5 people from work in the 30 minutes I was there. Then I got to watch out for the little kiddies walking close to my neighborhood road when I got back home. I was tired and didn't want to go anywhere else.

parodyman-->

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18 years ago

Book Guy, please remember I am from Chicago. If a stripper even farts on you here there is an ordinance written to stop it from ever happening again. A little change in venues would be good for me.

parodyman-->

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18 years ago

I might have made the trip to Memphis if I had not read funseeker's trip report.

I don't want to drive 600 miles just to be unimpressed with a bunch of unimpressive dancers all trying to make an impression so that I might purchase one of their less than impressive lap dances. I'd rather stay here and impress all of my TUSCL friends with my impressive command of all forms of the word impress. (The previous run on sentences written in the official Funseeker style!)

casualguy

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18 years ago

The only way I can make it is if I stole one of those superpowers on that Monday night tv show where the guy can stop time and teleport.

However I'll be thinking about all of you ghostly ghouls. If the lights flicker, just remember all of us visiting in spirit. hahaha

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