Has strip clubbing ruined your expectations of women IRL?

avatar for theDirkDiggler
theDirkDiggler
Illinois
They say that porn is a bad influence on one's (especially men, but women too) expectations of sex. In some ways i agree, except that i have very little interest in the porn experience in actual sex. All that they do is so generic and scripted and predictable (i'm talking about the more vanilla B/G porn; i have even less interest in the more freaky stuff). If that is the bee's knees of sex, count me out. It's still quite entertaining. And definitely TITillating. Ummm...tits...

Anyway, i feel that strip clubs also tend to mess up a man's brain as well, particularly the more you go. All it takes is a little game and a lot of money (but not unaffordable amounts) to swing all kinds of sexy interactions and experiences with a naked 9 or 10 ITC or even OTC. So let's say this becomes your usual strip club experience. You get all the associated euphoria, pleasure and flooding of brain chemicals that such experiences usually entail. You then go out in the real world and flirt with a fully clothed 6 or 7 with mixed results. Maybe you strike gold and they're more than interested. But are you interested? Just yesterday you had 9+ stripper pussy coming out of your ears and now you're entertaining the thought of wooing a 6 or 7 (before the clothes come off). Is it worth it to you? Along with all the hassle and drama and uncertainty and time and expense that modern "dating" involves. You know you're going to be thinking of that stripper when you fuck her anyway, or at least comparing her. I compare different strippers all the time, like second nature, at least after the fact. Of course it is unavoidable.

Don't get me wrong. I understand a real true loving relationship is more than just superficial looks. And there is such a thing as inner beauty. Heck, i could have some in spades, but no very good looking women ever cared to try to find it in me if i didn't offer something of immediate and apparent value to them. Like in a strip club. But let's be real. People that are truly beautiful inside are just as rare if not more so than the other type and no, "ugly" people are not more likely to be beautiful inside. You just never know. But physical beauty is like a bird in the hand. It gives you something very nice, tangible and visible to work with. And it is quite easy to attain in the strip club. And people can become better people over time. Your looks not so much. The fact that i can attain this at some level makes it harder for me to settle for less IRL, like i can definitely leave it rather than take it. I just wondered if anyone noticed any dynamic similar to this in their life although it probably applies more to single guys.

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avatar for Pyroxl
Pyroxl
7 years ago
I think this is similar to the topic of women getting unreal expectations due to media, magazines, airbrushed ads, etc. My observation is that at some point, most people decide that they want a relationship enough to prioritize it over other concerns. And that means, more or less, settling.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
7 years ago
After strip clubbing for 10 years, I could not possibly date a woman of my own age (60's). Every week I watch hot young women on the pole and I want to fuck them. And I do. The last woman I had sex with was a 22-year-old dancer who came to my house. My expectations cannot be met by age-appropriate civilian women.

avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
7 years ago
Lol. Good for you jack.
avatar for Mal2
Mal2
7 years ago
The standard joke is that porn and romcons have both ruined tons of relationships, for the same reason - they give people unreasonable expectations.

The caveat is that with strip clubs, massage parlors, escorts, and sugar babies, men can generally get what they want.

Women wanting the perfect romance, not so much.
avatar for realDougster
realDougster
7 years ago
Luckily I don't have this problem, since no woman will speak to me IRL.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
It’s an interesting question. I look at the two as separate worlds. I’m older (in my 50’s) and strippers are younger - and they don’t offer the same experience as civilian women - but both are great experiences in their own right.

With a stripper - the body might be better - and yet the sex is simply as good as my money lasts. I appreciate the stripper bodies - and the sex is great.

With a civilian woman - it’s a different connection. If I’ve been with her before - and she really had a great time - and she really enjoyed the sex - I can’t beat the feeling of honest desire she has to be with me again.

Stripper texts are fun and sexy - but the source is always money. I don’t kid myself - I know it’s based in money. But with civilian women - it’s real desire - and a sexy text from a civilian woman is pretty amazing.

So, I don’t think either side has been spoiled. I think each side must be understood for what it is - and accepted (and enjoyed).
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
7 years ago
It is an interesting question but I think my short answer is “no”. Pay for play and real life are two different things. If I can’t separate them, then I shouldn’t do the p4p thing.
avatar for Uprightcitizen
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
Good question. I did post a discussion on "raising the bar" where hanging out with beautiful strippers, etc made me have higher expectations of physical beauty for any relationship (paid or unpaid). I dont feel "ruined" but maybe just more selective and confident for that pure sexual experience. But then again I am married and not looking for the dating scene.

But, if I was single I would possibly end up doing something dumb like dating a stripper or ex stripper. They are allot of fun and very sexual. That might be my ruin from hanging out with strippers. But you all could be entertained by my tales of life chaos. But I wouldnt be looking hard for ex #2, just a fun partner.

In general I can state my quality of life has been greatly improved by hanging out with strippers. Much more positive aspects of my life than negative influences.

avatar for Lurker_X
Lurker_X
7 years ago
I suppose I simply have unrealistic expectations to begin with. I'm 49 and weigh 193 pounds... about what I did 25 years ago. I simply want to meet women who are fit and well maintained, and those are in such high demand. I rationalize that I have to pay money to meet women who are.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
For me strip-clubs *have* changed my interaction w/ women.

As a coarse analogy, it can be coarsely described as somewhat "supply and demand" - i.e. strip-clubs give me a steady supply of female attention that meets my most basic male desires, thus I'm not hard-up/desperate to get w/ a civvie and all that entails (the good and the bad).

Some folks are hopeless romantics and they are that way till their 70s and 80s - I'm in my late-40s and in all honesty don't feel a need for "romance" like I did in my 20s and 30s.

Strip-clubs are a good fit for me personally and having "the void" filled by strip-clubs means I don't really need civvies nor do I really want the civvie overhead:

+ as I have often posted, I like variety - in the past when I was in relationships, pretty-much every time I would start "feeling stuck" - could be that I perhaps never met the right person; but I'm that way w/ strippers also where no matter how much I like her in a particular visit, the next visit I want someone else

+ at this stage in my life I def much more enjoy/prefer to do as I please w/o having to answer to anyone

Thus for me strip-clubs are a very good fit that meet my "personality"/preferences and I thus see dating civvies as "cramping my style" for lack of a better word - thus since strip-clubs give me what I need/want, and I don't have to deal w/ what I don't want (answering to someone else); SCs thus do affect my feelings towards civilians in that I'm not really that interested although I'm aware of what strip clubs are and aren't and cognizant that they may not necessarily be the best nor healthiest way for female interaction; but at this point in my life it works for me.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
7 years ago
It never ruined it for me but I do know I'm not going to get married again. If I have a connection with someone superficial things go out the window so a relationship is possible. So porn and strippers have no bearing on my interactions with women IRL.
avatar for FTS
FTS
7 years ago
I would not use the word “ruined,” I would say, “increased.” Before discovering this hobby I could feel attraction for just about any girl as long as she wasn’t fat or ugly. But now... not so much.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
I mentioned on a thread like this that our local strip clubs have raised my expectations of how sexy I expect women to dress and paint up. At some local night clubs the women are just way too office environment like.

And generally, having been thru a marriage I am no longer interested in car keys and wallet dating. I don't see any need to make a show of spending money on women, when I could just as well be doing something more practical, giving money to women.

SJG
avatar for stripfighter
stripfighter
7 years ago
Maybe... or is it women IRL have pushed us to go the SC?? ;)

avatar for theDirkDiggler
theDirkDiggler
7 years ago
Okay, "ruined" is just the hyperbolic title. I see most of you still got what i was trying to say though...
avatar for theDirkDiggler
theDirkDiggler
7 years ago
At any rate, my psychology regarding women and looks has changed. I used to really check out anything decent looking, but nowadays, i can go an entire day in public and not really pay attention to a single random girl. It's like it's nothing i haven't ever seen before but in a much sexier setting. Or i might just make a mental note, oh that's nice and just continue on as if was nothing special and it was nothing special. Special jumps out, as it does ITC.
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